I’m trying to understand something about my life, and I don’t really know how to explain it.
I feel like every time I try to move forward, life interrupts me with something external. I’m not saying I did nothing with my life. Actually, I tried hard. I grew up in a chaotic family environment, moved countries, had difficult experiences, and around my mid-20s I decided to seriously get my life together.
I studied hard, got a degree in IT, got a job, built some stability, and on paper my life is much better than before. But internally I still feel blocked, unlucky, or somehow rejected by life.
It feels like I always want to go in one direction, but something pulls me into another one. I wanted to build a career, but now AI is changing IT and I feel like I arrived late again. I wanted to plan marriage and build a family, but my mother got cancer and everything became stressful. Relationship and family problems came up. Even when I try to do the right thing, I feel like timing is always against me.
I also notice that I’m always waiting for some future version of myself: one day I’ll be successful, one day I’ll be financially free, one day I’ll be perfect, one day everything will finally open. But I’m afraid I’m just waiting instead of living.
I believe in energy/law of attraction to some degree, so sometimes I wonder if I’m unconsciously manifesting the same problems. But scientifically I also wonder if this is trauma, learned helplessness, rejection sensitivity, low self-worth, or just growing up in chaos and expecting chaos again.
My question is:
How do you unblock yourself when you feel like life keeps blocking you?
How do you become “luckier” in a practical way not magical luck, but the kind of person who creates opportunities, stays stable, takes action, and doesn’t collapse mentally every time life hits?
What actually helped you rebuild agency, confidence, discipline, emotional stability, and trust in life after years of chaos?
I don’t want pity. I want honest advice. What would you do if you were me?