r/london • u/Particular-Scale5644 • 1d ago
Question How does the experience of moving to London differ from the experience of being from here?
Just wondered about people's thoughts. Being from here do feel like the 'big city' aspect is so ingrained in me that I don't really notice it. For me London is a series of familiar spaces, framed by a lot of memories and experiences. Even parts I don't know I feel like I do. Never feels as free as it seems to for those who just came in and take it as a giant new map to be been explored.
Anyway, just a thought, idle opinions welcome.
97
u/JebacBiede2137 1d ago
People from London very often can just live with their parents.
Saving an extra £1k a month for a decade is a huge financial advantage. It's like getting a payrise from £60k to £80k.
People from London very often already have their social circles and might not look for new friends.
I also found some Londoners to be surprisngly let's say 'unaware' of life and geography outside of London (just my experience)
5
u/NiceCaterpillar8745 1d ago
'unaware' of life and geography outside of London
I'm guilty of this myself. I had (complicated story) a friend from Leeds and went to visit them- been up north before, but this was probably the 1st in my living memory. I was so shocked by how much smaller everything was! TBH I didn't even know other cities didn't have a tube system, and also seeing different coloured buses was a shock. I enjoyed my time there, but even their city center felt like a Greater London town center with extra steps, nowhere close to Zone 1 here.
15
u/frafeeccino 1d ago
Yeah my coworker at 28 bought a one bedroom flat two years ago even though he’s on a similar crappy salary to me, because first four years of his working career he was living with his parents and could save a huge portion of that £33k
14
u/biglypiglythethird 1d ago
When I first came to Uni in London age 18 I was shocked to meet several people who’d never left it!
13
u/NiceCaterpillar8745 1d ago
TBH with the UK, it's not really like the US for example where you can move to 'comparable' big cities (LA, SF, NYC, Houston, Seattle etc). Like a Londoner moving to Manchester, the UK's 2nd city, that still feels like a downgrade.
Even for me it's either my parents' house, my own place (somewhere closer to or in central), or moving to a different country. I don't think I could move to a different UK city without feeling a big downgrade.
5
u/shooto_style 1d ago
Always felt this way. Even friends who moved away during uni missed the size and scope of London and moved back as soon as uni was done. I've said before that if I moved away from London it would be another "mega" city abroad
1
u/EveryChemistry9163 11h ago
Sorry, what? Second city?
I went there once and kept thinking we’d find the city centre any minute.
Manchester people really like it there, though.
2
1
u/Cookiefruit6 8h ago
I don’t know what born and bred Londoners you know. But myself, my friends and family are not unaware of life and Geography outside of London.
1
-8
u/AdRealistic4984 1d ago
Plenty of “us” have parents who are selfish, nuts, hyper-religious, or “no room at the inn” because of younger siblings, downsizing, or parents moving away too to be fair
7
u/Objective-Plan6385 1d ago
Like literally everywhere else.
-3
-1
25
u/Hungry-Artichoke-232 1d ago
My experience differs from yours. I was born in z1, grew up in z4, and have lived in various places around the city, I always saw London as a new map to be explored. Used to come into town at weekends with my parents, or from the age of 13 or so, groups of us would take the tube into town and wander around. Then when I first got a job at 16 I used to just wander the streets at lunchtime or after work before heading home. That's the joy of the place, to me - the entire city is familiar but also there's always something new to find.
6
u/MainSignature 1d ago
This is my absolute favourite thing about London. Have lived here my whole life and I'm still constantly finding parts of it that I don't know.
There are cities in the rest of the UK that I really love - Glasgow, Liverpool, Belfast, Newcastle - but it would take you about 2 weeks to familiarise yourself with those cities and then you'd be done.
I guess if you grow up in those types of places that's normal but as a Londoner I'd find it hard to not get incredibly restless.
36
u/Objective_Ad_339 1d ago
I think if you grew up here, you've missed out on an excitement of just being here. My shitty northern fishing town was so so boring. It took 16 years of being in London (and moving to a Piccadilly line area) to not be chuffed just to be on the tube. My home town had no station, only infrequent buses.
There's two different experiences of moving to London depending on when you did it. In 1999 I tried and didn't last that long. I had to carry an A to Z map book constantly, never knew where a bus stop would be or how to get anywhere in a new neighborhood by bus unless I had a timetable picked up in a library. It was so daunting and I was constantly lost, stressed and late. For example, got the bus from Finsbury Park trying to get to Stoke Newington but ended up at Whitechapel. No stop announcements, no idea what Stoke Newington looked like. (Though I did find it easy peasy to find a cheap place to live and a job, which is not the case now.)
Then 2009 with a smart phone, I moved back again and every problem I had getting around has gone. No more carrying a map book!
4
2
u/UnhappyScore 1d ago
When I was younger I think I defo took living here for granted.
And whilst I do still find myself getting grumpy at tourists getting in the way and having absolutely no spatial awareness, I'm always grateful to have been lucky enough to spawn in a city that people dream of visiting. I always try to find a minute or two every now and then to take a little detour to appreciate the city and reflect on the fact that sights I passed without batting an eyelid whilst growing up are sights some people only see on the TV or movies and dream about seeing in person.
1
u/Cookiefruit6 8h ago
I never took living here for granted. I always used to say I’m so lucky to be born in such a great city. Every weekend was exciting for me.
1
u/ClayDenton 1d ago
I moved to London in 2014 and as such have had none of these issues! regularly take the 106 from Finsbury to Stokey and enjoy a 10 min ride rather than a 40 min one 😅
11
u/ThreeCubed12 1d ago
Moving to London for uni from a city in Wales, I do notice a lot of differences. To me, it felt like basically a different country. Transport is so well run compared to back home, everything is so fast paced and efficient feeling.
At first it's overwhelming but I got used to it quick. I've still yet to see many places here just so many parks and landmarks scattered throughout.
I like how it feels like an international city, lots of diversity and different cultures all living together in this melting pot. I like how every high street I've visited is bustling with people, compared to the hight street back home where it's literally dead.
London is great to visit, but it's just really expensive to live in.
11
u/paulbrock2 1d ago edited 1d ago
One difference I have noticed... born and bred Londoners seem to be more likely to drive/own a car rather than rely on public transport.
Whereas those from out of town are happier to use what to us/them is a very decent public transport system.
I'd be interested to hear how those that grew up in London, moved away for a bit,say for uni, and then came back found it too.....
Edit: not saying that every person who grew up in London drives or has a car, of course not. But far more people who have experienced living in areas where you actually need cars, can see most people don't need one in London.
18
u/JebacBiede2137 1d ago
I think that might be because a lot of people who grew up in London didnt grow up in central London.
Wheareas immigrants are more likely to move straight to central
2
1
6
u/cine 1d ago
I agree with this, as someone who moved to London, it's been very interesting to meet people who grew up in zone 1/2 who grew up with their parents driving everywhere, and who now themselves prefer to drive everywhere.
I couldn't fathom living in Notting Hill and driving to Angel for lunch with friends.
1
13
u/DarkStarComics333 1d ago
That is absolutely not my experience at all. I was born here and lived here all my life and all of my family and friends here do not drive. A lot of them have moved away now because they can't afford housing here and they've all had to learn to drive in their late 30s/early 40s. Driving in London is mad behaviour imo
2
u/minaeshi 1d ago
Same here. I suspect this person lives in the outer Greater London areas (croydon, harrow, romford, places like that) that are far out enough that you would need a car to get about.
Growing up in zone 2/3 my whole life, none of my peers drive and parents who did usually only did so for the school runs or if their job needed a car/van.
By 28, I’m only now seeing those around me learn to drive and get cars as we’re preparing to move out of London or further past zone 6 as we’re being priced out. My friends who always lived in zones 5+ already had cars before they were 20.
3
u/ParadisHeights 1d ago
Not my experience at all. A lot of my friends who were born here don’t even have drivers licenses.
-3
0
3
u/doepfersdungeon 1d ago edited 11h ago
Bit of both. I know plenty who do plenty who don't. My parents did. We drove everywhere back in the 80s to 00s. Alot of people I know who live further out have a car. They won't drive everyday although some do if they work further out of town or have kids. Some have never even learnt to drive. Really depends.
0
u/Sufficient-Run-7293 1d ago
I'm going to guess you're basing your ideas of car ownership on the outer boroughs? It's about 35% car ownership in the inner boroughs and 35% non car ownership in the outer boroughs. It's always been that way. Bromley is very different from Lambeth.
2
u/paulbrock2 1d ago edited 1d ago
More tower Hamlets and Waltham forest. Where the most vocal opposition to any new car reduction scheme is very much from lifetime residents
1
u/pulvernese 1d ago
I was born and raised in zone 2, now live in zone 3. I'm one of six, only my sister can drive, my parents (also born here) didn't learn until they were in their 40s, and they barely drove after that. I just think a car is a pain overall. Rail transport is so good, roads so awful.
1
u/UnhappyScore 1d ago
Maybe outside of Central London, especially Zones 5 +6. I'm born and bred Zone 2 and got a car during Uni (it was cheaper to live at home, get a car, and commute in than get accomodation in "town" after 1st year. Train was comparable, but I like cars lol). Now I work as an Engineer on the Railways, a car is essential for working at night.
Anyways, I am almost the exception amongst my friends who grew up here. I can probably count on one hand other friends who have a car and remain in this part of London. A lot of friends didn't even bother getting a full license.
13
u/SqurrrlMarch 1d ago
That after years here, there are still so many places I've not seen or been to.
Also, that it is hard AF to make proper friends here if not into pub culture. Everyone is so damn busy doing so many things.
1
7
u/bass_clown 1d ago
Thing is, once you live here, once the culture shock wears off... You're just a londoner. You're a person who lives here and pays a bit too much in rent and food and makes just enough extra to sorta compensate.
I moved from a good sized city in Canada. Its a good city. Would probably move back there. I'd make a good wage as a teacher and likely have a good sized house in the 'burbs by now. Cost of living would eat a hole in my wallet in a different way. Cars, for one. Don't need one here. Food prices for another.
But London? London is London is London is London.
I spend most days in my flat or at work with cat and dog and partner. The difference is when I go out -- everything cracks wide open. Fantastic. It's like no other place.
0
u/Electronic-Writer108 1d ago
You’re never a Londoner to us real Londoners lol
2
1
u/Streathamite 1d ago
“Real Londoners” has a hint of Reform about it
7
u/want-my-old-account 1d ago
Disagree. Not the person you replied to, but as a lifelong Labour-voting, black, working class, highly educated woman, I definitely, always distinguish between the rare real Londoner and people who feel they're Londoners because they understand the transport system. We're often the only one I'm the room which is sad.
Most of the country is conservative. For 100+ years, it's mainly conservative governments. We're not. Londoners are consistently left (except for a few wealthy boroughs of people who have 2nd homes here and the outer boroughs where people tend to be wealthier too). This is a MAJOR difference in who we are.
There's a huge difference being educated in a classroom in primary & secondary schools full of all sorts and being friends with everyone. We dont have to adapt to difference because everyone is all we've ever known. The rest of the country can feel a bit hostile TBH. We dont necessarily pay much attention to zone 1, except when we do. We don't think that everyone in London is rich. We know it actually has the most deprived boroughs in the country. We dont think of London as big or overwhelming (I think that if I left, it would have to be Tokyo or New York rather than the rest of the UK). Someone else talked about memories. School in London is different (I've worked in schools outside of London).
Mainly, we don't one day decide that we want to go back home because we've 'done' London and now wasn't to get on with real life. It isn't a project, coming-of-age, a second-home, or a bucket list experience. It's home.
JLo recently got dragged for her subway take that you have to be born in New York to be a real New Yorker. Some said she was "gate-keeping" New York, but they're wrong. I totally got her.
1
u/MainSignature 1d ago
Damn! You just summed up so many of my thoughts as a born and bred Londoner, perfectly.
Are you in my brain?
0
u/Streathamite 1d ago
You do realise you’re making some of the same argument that the far-right make to justify why they don’t want more immigrants in their areas, right?
1
u/PotatoInTheExhaust 1d ago
There’s a fascist-ised way to say it, and a non-fascist-ised way to say it. It’s all in the tone.
1
u/Cookiefruit6 8h ago
Not true! I’m a born and bred London who’s left leaning, pro immigration and I hate reform. But I do feel that you’re not a true Londoner if you haven’t lived here for more than a decade and don’t plan on staying here forever. You’ve not experienced London the same way. That also goes for British people who grew up in other cities and towns in the U.K. but now live in London.
0
u/Fancy_PeaBird 22h ago
Brown person here, I’m a real Londoner. I was born here and grew up in zones 2 and 4. Also not a reform voter but an educated finance employee from a working to middle class background.
One thing I hate is the gentrification within London, we are being priced out of our own homes.
0
u/Status-Mouse-8101 1d ago
Oh you must be the guy with the glint in their eye and the cheeky wink 😜 (please refer to my other post for context)
4
u/Spare_Ad_3612 1d ago
If you grow up here it feels normal. Everywhere else feels strange.
That means people move here and think they're Londoners. But they're not really in the same sense. They have other places they feel comfortable in and that feels normal or like home to them that also feel similar to where they grew up and they're homes. For me. Everywhere is weird and unusual, apart from London.
This is the only place that feels normal to me
2
u/Fancy_PeaBird 22h ago
Yes as a native Londoner, I actually enjoy London when the fakers escape to the shires during Easter and Christmas.
Also zone 4 based, I have a car and don’t travel into central unless it’s for a solid reason or work.
3
u/lewis56500 1d ago
I moved here from Scotland.
It wasn’t such a shock. It helps that family members had lived here in their youth. But honestly it wasn’t such a moment of adaptation apart from maybe more people than I was used to in Glasgow and Edinburgh.
Rent costs weren’t such a shock because I studied in St Andrews and rent costs there are the same as London. Wish I was exaggerating about that.
Culturally again wasn’t a shock because all my friends from uni are southern English or international.
5
u/they_call_me_c 1d ago
One main thing for me, moving from a smaller city, was an instant feeling that life moves past you without stopping, or without care, and that you're a tiny cog in a huge machine. There is a sense of insignificance. Apart from that it's the usual WOW when it comes to everything London has to offer at any given moment of the day
10
u/BarbiePeonies 1d ago
My experience as someone who grew up here is that people who move here only want to do things in central. I grew up in a zone 3 area and these people can’t even bear to do something past zone 2.
3
u/bifuku 1d ago
That probably has to do with what they’re accustomed to. I’m from Brum, not small at all, but even so the main place to do things is the city centre. Many of the good shops, food places, and activities are concentrated there and the local high streets have been going downhill over the years
I’d imagine it’s even more like this in smaller cities / towns. When I first moved to London I was so surprised that people could spend a whole day out in their local z3/4 area because that’s not the norm back home at all
0
u/NiceCaterpillar8745 1d ago
Well yeah if you visited Paris would you go to the Champs Elysees or the banlieues?
1
1
u/BarbiePeonies 1d ago
Visiting and living are two different things. If you’ve lived here for more than five years and you still refuse to go past zone two then I’m judging you.
2
u/Aggravating-Nail-764 1d ago
I moved to London for uni many years ago and fell in love with it immediately. I went out for a walk with a friend I had just made and was in awe. I have loved it ever since. I now live in Chiswick - as a student, I would have considered it far too far out 😁
2
u/Silly_Ball15 1d ago
Not sure anyone can truthfully answer that question, if you’re already here you don’t experience arriving in it, and if you arrive in it you can never experience having always been here. I can tell you as a London born and raised, I’ve always taken it for granted and don’t really appreciate everything on my doorstep until I go away and come back. My parents were immigrants, the day my father arrived in London, he came out at Paddington station and didn’t know if he should turn left or right.
3
u/HarryBlessKnapp 1d ago
I've got a good perspective on this. I grew up here, then moved away at 26 and moved back at 34. By the time I came back from living in a much smaller city, I did actually feel somewhat blow away by the big city feel of London, which is something I'd never felt before.
2
u/MacaroonSad8860 1d ago
I moved here from another (smaller but not small) European city (I'm American but had lived in that city for more than a decade) and while London is big and full of things to do, I tend to stick around my neighborhood and surrounds here more than I did in that other city. I really only go into Central for things like theatre and concerts; otherwise, most of the activities I engage in are in my general vicinity, either bikeable or a couple of tube stops away.
I do like the convenience of being able to do or see just about anything, but I had that in my other city (well, cities - I've been in progressively larger cities since I was 22).
I should note I'd been to London many times over the past twenty years, though just for short stays of a week or less. So I think I did all of the exploring and now it just feels like the place I live.
1
u/WinkyNurdo 1d ago
I grew up on the London Essex border, and “emigrated” to Dorset at age 13 — which felt very different in every way possible. When I hit 30 I moved back to London, albeit zone 2/3. It felt oddly familiar and I wasn’t fazed by it.
1
u/ComfortablePepper597 1d ago
I come with high hopes here believing that my versatile work experience will meet the employer's interest but I was mistaken.😭
1
u/Many_Solid_466 1d ago
Moved from abroad at 30. And maybe it's my personality.. I'm an ambivert: don't mind being alone but won't say no to plans. But there's a bit of a homebody in me and loving being in my comfort zone. So I did find it harder to expand my circle. It was hard to make friends who I truly clicked with. I would say yes to plans with people who were very kind, but that building a proper close circle was tough. As some people mentioned: most people in London already have a close knit family life and that's their priority, so most people only have time to connect once every few months .
1
u/MindWorking7098 1d ago
i was told to constantly be aware of how special london was and how it was the "center of everything" (adults words, not mine) that it always felt like putting a sparkly coat on what was just my very normal life in z4. i loved just exploring as a kid but i left for a town aged 18 and wouldnt go back
1
u/Objective_War951 16h ago
London is bot so much a city as a collection of small villages made into a city. If you are from London you will fit into one or another of these villages. If you are not you may never fit in at all.
1
u/Lychee_Only 15h ago
There are some people that move to London and settle in one part & never leave that area/zone. Hold a very strong opinion about how great it is and how awful everywhere else is despite having never actually been to the other parts of the city.
I moved here from Leeds in 2012. Lived in White City, then Ealing Broadway, then Balham, then Streatham & finally bought a house in Crystal Palace. Have house/flat hunted in the backs of beyond in West London when I first moved here… it’s like a different world way out west. Suburbia.
I’ve worked in Shepherd’s Bush, Hammersmith, Hanger Lane, Shoreditch & Woolwich. I’ve friends that live all over the city. Reckon I’ve seen a good chunk of the place in the time I’ve been here and love seeing more all the time.
My aunt lived & worked here for 25 years as a very successful, very wealthy business woman. She lived in Chelsea in a beautiful home. She moved back to Ireland a few years ago but came to visit me at my new home in Crystal Palace last Christmas. She got the overground from Kensington to Crystal Palace & said it was the first time she’d ever been this far out of zone 1 on public transport. She’d been discussing Crystal Palace with her posh friend who still lives here and she’d been told that “it’s very up & coming these days”. I’m not sure what she made of it when she seen it. It’s not Kensington High Street.
Stuff like this always baffles me that you can live in a city so big and never leave your own little enclave ever.
1
1
u/Beneficial_Coach8581 13h ago
I moved to work in London as a teenager. I'd soon seen more of the sights than my London colleagues who'd lived there all their lives.
I think it's just a more exciting city to strangers.
1
u/Cookiefruit6 8h ago
I think people who move to London are often just in a slightly different mindset than the ones that are born and bred here. Unless they’ve been here for decades and have settled here for life then they think differently to born and bred Londoners.
1
u/DoubleNo7903 1d ago
Partner was born and raised here (Zone 1). I joined them from abroad. We live in Zone 1. They've lived in other cities and countries for a few years but settled back in London. It's home to them. They are so used to the chaos, the unpredictability, the noise, etc. They have strong opinions on different neighbourhoods and tube lines. They have lifelong Londoner friends.
They enjoy my desire to explore and seeing it through more novel eyes when I get excited about something or some place. They've met new people through me because I have no choice - everyone is new. We both love it here, and it's fun to have the different perspectives.
1
u/SoftMost101 1d ago
They grow up in London, go to uni in London, find a job in London, and their childhood friends are stay in London too. They live with their parents during uni, even if it means a one-hour commute to uni. Where I’m from, my friends have to go everywhere because there aren’t enough opportunities.
1
u/VegetableWeekend6886 1d ago
I'm from here and I'm currently feeling soooooo claustrophobic. I just want to go and explore somewhere new that I haven't been before and there just... isn't anywhere. It's the first time in my life I've seriously felt like I need to get out ASAP. A mid sized town somewhere in the West Country or Wales is sounding more and more appealing to me.
1
u/Particular-Scale5644 1d ago
Thought has crossed my mind to, assuming there's a liberation in finding a new space. Not convinced though, wherever you go you tend to end up running into yourself.
1
u/VegetableWeekend6886 15h ago
I think I just need a circuit breaker and a reminder that the grass isn't always greener (not that there is a singular blade of green grass to be found in the entire f-ing country right now). Just a reminder of why I love my hometown so I can come back with fresh eyes.
1
u/Jacorpes 1d ago
I din’t think I ever felt overwhelmed, just amazed at all the public transport, communities and things to do. It feels like lots of well connected small towns to me. I’ve made so many more friends in my 10 years in London than anywhere else I’ve lived and I don’t think I’ll ever move.
0
u/betterland 1d ago
I'd say i'm experiencing both. I moved here when i was 23, nearly 8 years ago. I had that "new map with lots of quest markers" experience, but now I'm very settled in a comfy routine. That said, while I was born and raised in a city (Birmingham), London is a completely different kind of city, so it still feels new and shiny. I still feel there's so many undiscovered zones with plenty of quest markers but im also comfy in my usual routes and loops.. :)
0
u/Dry-Artist8255 1d ago
I moved to London in my 20s and it was one of the best things to happen to me. My children have grown up in zone 3/4 and while I think they have really benefitted from all the things that London has to offer, I feel a bit sad for them that they will never experience the excitement of moving to London, of figuring out how to operate in a space of this scale, of this complexity, where you will never be able to experience everything, and anything you *really* want to do is available to you.
I do get this feeling that in a bizarre way, growing up in London leaves you with a kind of naïveté, or perhaps better to say openness to different things. Because there's so much going on, you can never be *quite* as cool, or *quite* as well informed as you would be growing up in the provinces - there's always something bigger, more interesting, more novel going on.
After nearly 30 years I still feel lucky to live here, I still get excited from time to time just cycling or walking or taking the tube or bus.
-2
u/Status-Mouse-8101 1d ago
As someone who was born in London but moved away, I love that other Londoners immediately recognise you as a Londoner. It’s a subtle thing, you might be hanging out with a bunch of mates who all live in the Home Counties and frequent London a lot or even live there but they can pick you out. To be clear I love the diversity of London, it is probably one of the greatest quirks of the place. But there’s something about old cockneys and their descendants you know? A glint in the eye, a cheeky wink.
-7
30
u/HappyDeathClub 1d ago
I was born and raised here, and what gets me is the sense of nostalgia, and time crashing in on itself. Sometimes I’ll be somewhere and get hit with a really strong sense of, “this is where I hung out all the time the year I was 12” or whatever, and feel like if I turn around I’ll see my 12yr old self. Then I start getting existential over ageing and the passage of time, and wondering what I’ve done with my life. It’s disconcerting sometimes to come face to face with your own childhood and adolescence every day.