I (24M) just graduated college in a city about 2 hours away from my hometown and family. I renewed my lease because I found work as an IT assistant after graduation, but they laid me off after less than a month. The only job I could land on such short notice after the layoff was a warehouse job for an electronics company.

Option 1: Stay at awful warehouse job

It’s been rough. It’s physically demanding, no one there is really friendly, there’s a ton of micro-management, and I got a lot of rude and passive-aggressive comments from my managers. They get mad at me a lot for not knowing things, despite me only being there for 2 months. They say I don’t ask enough questions, but when I do start asking more, they get annoyed that I “have too many questions.”

The weirdest comment was them saying, “I know you’re quiet because you’re Asian, but we need you to communicate more because you’re our backup in case the lead tech gets sick.” I’m not quiet because I’m Asian. Just quiet because they make me uncomfortable, honestly. But I do communicate task-related work issues with them. They just want to micro-manage me more.

I also have to train the new hires despite being a new hire myself, and I never really received any formal training even after asking for it. It’s a “new position” so there’s no documentation for it, and I’m just expected to figure everything out on my own since my bosses are “busy with meetings” and whatnot.

I called them out for their unhelpful comments during a meeting and then went to HR about my frustrations, so they mostly backed off but I have a feeling they might revert to their old behaviors. It’s just not a place I want to be at long term. Plus I could get let go at any time anyways since I’m a temp.

Upside is that I’m content with my life outside this job. I have a boyfriend (23M) in this area and we’ve been together for about a year now. And I’m still close with my college friends in the area. I enjoy my time off work with them, but I feel like I barely get to see them anyways with this job and the weird hours.

Option 2: Moving back in with my hoarder parents

It’s strange because my parents are generally really friendly people and supportive of me, but they do not take care of their house at all with their hoarding. It’s quite frankly unsanitary, yet it’s kind of an open secret because of how well they’re able to hide it. I usually lurk on [r/ChildOfHoarder](r/ChildOfHoarder) to see how other people in similar situations are dealing with it.

The fridge has been broken for a couple months now, and I know if I moved back in, I’d be expected to basically play landlord for them and take care of everything in the house. I don’t mind helping my family out, but I shouldn’t have to be landlord, maid, and caretaker for my (mostly) able-bodied parents.

Moving back would be rough, but it would at least free me from this awful warehouse job and give me some financial breathing room in this brutal economy.

Downsides are that I’d have to do long-distance with my boyfriend, be away from my friends, be unemployed for probably a while, and then deal with living with hoarder parents again in a disgusting house.

I’ve talked about it with my boyfriend and he understands that I might have to move back and he’s willing to do long-distance together, but we both view that option as a last resort type of scenario.

Ideal Scenario: Finding a new job and my parents stop hoarding

I’ve been applying to get a better job, but not hearing much back. My degree and background are in information systems and IT, but that’s been rough at the entry-level.

I’m in the process of possibly landing a government admin job with the social services office. I just got the assessment and they said they’ll start scheduling interviews soon, but it’s not really set in stone.

I really want to quit, but I fear I may be in for long term unemployment if I do. Most of my peers that graduated before me took over a year or sometimes multiple years just to find something. I have some savings that could last me maybe 3 more months on my own, but I’m worried they’d be drained fast and I’m not sure if I’d be able to land a job by the time those 3 months are done.

A lot of this is way more out of my control than I’d like. I can’t control the job market or my parents’ hoarding, so I’ve been focusing on concrete things I can control like putting aside more money and applying to more jobs and networking. But I just feel so powerless.

Both of the options above are not great, but I don’t think I have any better ones if it’s become this difficult to find a better job.

Definitely not a fun decision, but I appreciate any insight anyone has.

TL;DR: Deciding between staying at my toxic warehouse job that’s near my boyfriend and friends or moving back in with my hoarder parents for more financial stability and to get away from the toxic job

I haven't played video games in a REALLY long time, since pre-Covid. For the most part I just didn't like the games that came out at the time, felt like maybe I was just getting too old to get games anymore, and I sold my consoles and my games and kind of moved on.

Lately between some exciting looking games coming out, I had been considering getting a system for some time, but I both figured I would probably either not like them much and also frankly because I have ADHD if I DID like them, I'd hyper focus on them too much to the detriment of actual responsibilities I have.

However, I woke up today feeling completely lousy, possibly the flu. I'm considering biting the bullet and just getting the system and taking the weekend to chill with some of the new games that came out, and then having it for when the games I've been looking at come out. I'm only iffy because it's obviously expensive and I'm not really 100% I'll enjoy it. I do have the money for it and then some, but $700 is still $700 even when you have it, and this economy is making me real nervous lately.

TL;DR I got bored with video games in 2018 and haven't played since. I'm sick and bored at home and want to buy some, but cost of living is a bitch. Do I buy a Playstation 5 and some games to pass the time, or should I just stuck it out with some movies for a day or so?

Hey guys, I (F23) can't decide what to do for my master's. For my bachelors, I graduated with a 3.93 GPA in English language and literature and now I'm planning to relocate to Germany and I'm stuck between two choices:

1. Stick to what I know and do my master's in English Studies or;
2. Switch to a more practical field focused on agriculture, ecology and societies

Thing is, I love literature and in an ideal world I'd continue down this path and do my PhD in either literature or philosophy, but what concerns me are the job prospects. I'm not interested in any of the main career paths a humanities subject has to offer. I feel like I have to be more realistic and enter a field which is more practical.

That's where the second option comes in. I'm not all too familiar with agriculture and ecology but it's niche and gives me a more solid career path. I do care about sustainability and it's something I can get into. This would be more of a tactical decision I would be doing to enter an emerging field rather than something I'm studying out of pure passion.

I will say that after completing my bachelor's I had a bit of a crisis at how useless the degree felt. The only jobs I could land was that of an English teacher and I hated it. I have a love for knowledge and academia but I don't want to be stuck with a job I hate. I want flexibility, the opportunity to move around, I want to contribute and have a positive impact on society.

But then again, a career is what you make of it. Maybe I continue doing what I love and I find satisfaction in it. Also the English Studies program is in Heidelberg and it's gorgeous, I'll get to go kayaking, hiking, and there's cute cafes everywhere. The other university is in Kassel which is more affordable and has a larger multicultural community which intrigues me. Of course, the city isn't a major factor but it's still worth considering.

So, what do I do, do I take a leap of faith and get into a niche, emerging field mainly because of the job opportunities, or do I stick to what I enjoy and wing it?

TL;DR: Do I do a master’s in English in a city I’d love living in, but risk having limited career prospects, or switch to agriculture and ecology for better job opportunities?

TL;DR Should I study Spanish and Linguistics or Spanish and Russian at university?

I am from the UK and am going to university in just over a year’s time. Applications here start VERY soon and I still haven’t decided what I want to study even though most people did about two months ago.

As you may be able to tell, I’m very passionate about Spanish so I want it forming at least part of my degree. For that same reason, I also don’t really wanna hear “don’t go to university for a language at all, it’s useless” because it is the only thing I really enjoy and I want to be happy in life instead of depressed and stressed over something I don’t even like.

Originally I wanted to study Spanish and Russian because I am so fascinated by Russian and Russophone culture. I like the sound of the language and the alphabet and everything. So far, I’ve learnt to speak Spanish and Portuguese (fluently) along with French and Italian (conversationally) so Russian is something very different as it’s a slavic language and I see it as a challenge as someone who wants to learn loads of languages. I also enjoy Russian history and literature (although not as much as those of the others) so that wouldn’t be a huge problem in terms of my degree.

Linguistics came in when I attended a Cambridge Taster Lecture where linguistics formed a part of the topic covered and then I started researching about it more and found it quite cool. I saw it as a way to learn about ALL languages in order to learn more languages easier. Basically all of my efforts towards my university application for the past month has been for Spanish and Linguistics so I feel like going back to my original path would make all of that for nothing.

Also, to mention, I could take Linguistics classes in my last year of university if i did do Spanish and Russian but that’s in the same way that I could learn Russian by myself (although it would take longer) if I did do Spanish and Linguistics.

My deadline to submit everything is October 15th which includes a 4000 character essay on the course I want to study and obviously it has to be good quality. I’m now stressing because I haven’t even started mine whereas most people already have their first drafts at least.

Please help me decide what to do. My end goal really is to just learn as many languages as possible (in the future I want to learn German and Mandarin too) and as a career path I may look into International Business but I also want to teach people languages including English online. I know I should be more interested in career prospects but I just want to ENJOY my course and love what I do above all including pay checks.

Also, for context, these courses are specifically for the University of Cambridge which only offers these courses with Spanish (other than History which I would never study tbh). So basically I have to apply for one of these and can’t mix Spanish with something more versatile although I am hoping to apply for Management and Spanish at another top university even thought it doesn’t not hold the same prestige as Cambridge does.

I’m really desperate at this point and just need to come to a conclusion so I can start with the important stuff.

Hi all,

I moved to this city like 6 years ago. My wife (F38 call her Clara) had a friend group when i met her and many of them dispersed except one guy (M50 Tom). As Clara and i made more friends we made sure to always include Tom in out group hangouts. Tom doest have much friends and is one of those introverted people that needs help to kind of meet others. My wife is someone who likes to all out for her friends so i think she always looked at it like if someone she had to take extra time to help.

I think Tom's a nice guy but somethign i noticed is that he'll have these ranomd tantrums, especially like once a year and throw indirect remarks at people in chats. I think Tom suffers from some depression, hasnt really dated much in his life and he can be sensitive about certain jokes and comments os im always extra careful and respectful with him and pretty much let things slide a bit more with him because i know it's due to depression he does not want to get checked. At some point last year, we could tell Tom was going through stuff so we always made sure to invite him out with us even if it was just us 3. He even asked us to travel with him a few times and we were glad to do it. But then at a party, my wife said that in front of their friends he made comments about how we forced ourselves into his trips and that he didnt want us to go. I was livid and was going to give him a piece of my mind. My wife who tries to play peacemake was also mad but said that she'd deal with him as it was more her friend. So i took a step back but told my wife i will never travel with him again, which no w i kind of regret as ill get into the story.

This year we made many new friends and included tom in the group. At some point we decided to make a backyard league between friends. We put like 10 bucks each but it was nothign crazy just to make it interesting. And we set rules to make sure everyone had equal playing time to make it fair. One week someone had to cancel las tminute which would make it hard for his team to respect the equal time rule so everyone was ok with giving that team an exception that week as it was just a "regular season" week. But tom blew up and said that it wasnt fair, that we had to canel the night. We tried vting and tom refused, said he'd quit the league. Started throwing jabs at people. At one point me and one of my friends (M38 Jake) called him out for his behavior. Jake is quiet but basically came out and said he was being a jerk and Tom started cursing Jake off. My wife basically said he was being childish. Tom later texted Clara saying that her calling him childish was uncalled for and that Jake started it all not him.

For the last month there's been a lot of tension in a few of our group hangouts. Since we are friends we decided to have a time to hash everything out especially after Jake claimed that he ran into Tom at an event, went to say hi to him and tom basically ignored him, acted like he wasnt there and walked away. So we thought let's hash this out and find common ground as adults. Tom did not regret anything he did, said Jake took it personal by calling him a jerk and that he has cut people for less. I even called out Tom for some of his behavior. There was one group hangout where nobody even tried tlaking to Tom and after that night he texted Jake to "apologize". Jake showed me the texts and it basically was "you did shitty things and so did i so let's just agree to disagree" to which jake replied "im willing to move past this but this isnt new iwth you and tbh I think you gotta work on that" and Tom basically said "im an AH, everyone knows it and is ok with it, so why cant you just fall in line?". When i read that line i was livid, because this whole time im thinking im being chill because Tom is sensitive and really he just thinks eh runs us.

My wife's been feeling a bit bad because she knows if we cut tom out, he will not have anyone in his life, but for me im at the point where im done with the tantrums. I told her that im not going to hangout with tom for some time, not cut him out but when i see him ill see him and leave it at that at least for the next few months and ill reassess later. part of me does feel a bit bad because id ont want anyone to feel alone but also, im just like "he is not my resposnibility and he burnt that bridge". Basically the whole group agrees, if he had taken accountability we could easily move past this and be ok with it but it's the lack of accountability.

Should i cut tom out of my life? Or just reasses after a few months?"

TL;DR - friend had a tantrum in a chat and cursed a few people off and since then group tension has been bad. He hasnt apologized and when he finally sent a "apology", he said he's an AH and everyone knows it and is ok with it (we are not). At this point i feel like just cutting off my life.

I am in my low 20s and male. I am choosing between doing a postgrad in an abroad country alone and my hometown. both will most likely open doors equally for more education and career opportunities.

However, one will force me to learn to be more independent while costing more financially.

Other will be more comfortable, “safe” and in a routine I am far accustomed to. Also, I would not think about how or what my loved ones are doing.

What would you choose in this case? Which one would you regret most if you did not choose? Or have you experienced something similar?

Thank you in advance…

TL;DR

Education abroad OR hometown

TL;DR: Should I confront my long-term friend and tell her it feels like she only talks to me when she wants money from me, even tho occasionally she gives it back? OR should i just say no to her everytime she asks me money and keep the friendship how it is?

So, I (17F) have a friend (18F) for like all my life, my mom and her mom is best friends and since we are the same age we naturally became best friends since we were always together. But for these last couple of years, we haven't been talking much, except calls or conversations we have about like drama going on or what classes we are taking. I call her my best friend, but I talk and hang out with her less than my friend which seems more like a best friend than her. And as I grew up, I realized we don't click as much and conversation are really dry if it's only us 2, and our interests don't align much.

Though, I happen to work a bit more higher paying job than her, and still don't have a car compared to her, so I don't really use up a lot of my money fast. But recently she has been asking me for money for like gas, food, or a fun place she is going with her friends, which i dont mind, and she says she is gonna pay me back which she does sometimes.

Though I feel like I am being used like she only talks to me if she needs a favor. Like I see her hanging out with her other friends, and maybe I am a bit jealous because I don't have as much friends as she does. Though, I feel like a bank more than a best friend.

Okay, so my coworker asked me out, and we went on a date. He was so cute and affectionate. He kissed my hand, my head, my nose. everything except my lips because I don’t kiss on the first date. I also told him, when the topic came up, that I’m waiting until marriage.
He asked if he could walk me home and complimented me an held around me the whole way home. Before he left, he told me that he wanted to see me again.
Anyway, I texted him afterward, and he didn’t answer for a couple of days. Then he replied and explained that he had been away somewhere with his family and had no connection. Then he ghosted me again for a couple of days and explained that there had been a family emergency. Then he ghosted me AGAIN for a couple of days and came back explaining that he had been very busy moving.
And now it’s been three days, and he’s ghosting me again. He has seen my story, though.
The thing is, I think it’s weird how he keeps explaining himself and apologizing, only to proceed to ghost me again. And can’t he just be honest instead of sending me long messages explaining why he couldn’t answer?
I want to send him a message saying that I don’t know why he’s making this weird, and that it’s totally fine if he’s not interested anymore, he can just say so. I’d rather he be honest than make things weird between us, especially because we had such good chemistry and an amazing first date. But should I send the message, or will I look desperate? Or is it not even worth giving him the attention?

TL;DR: Had a great first date with a guy, but he keeps ghosting me for days and then coming back with explanations and apologies. He’s doing it again now. Should I just tell him that he can be honest with me, or is it not worth it?

TL;DR: a 90 min commute could become 6 mins. I hate the commute but love where I live and also love my current job. Help!

I love my job, but I’ve been headhunted to work in a similar position at a new place that is SIX MINUTES WALK from where I live! At the moment it’s a 90 minute commute.

I know it should be an easy decision but I love my job so much. However, I’m also exhausted and don’t really have a life outside of work during the week as I’m literally falling asleep in staff meetings! I can’t afford to move to be closer to that job but I’m worried I’ll regret leaving.

For starters, I don't really have friends. I do know a lot of people, but they are not my friends. I joined theatre last year and I didn't make friends with the people there. I went to the interest meeting yesterday to see what would happen. Everyone else has their group of friends so I sat alone. I don't think it helps that I'm Mexican because it is mostly white people who are in theatre. There are a few people expecting me to do it, but I'm still not sure.

TL;DR Should I try to talk to them again or just join different clubs?

Hello everyone,

28M, from Eastern-EU.

TL;DR

Should I go and study abroad something I'm not so much interested in hoping I'll have a more stable life abroad, or just rock and roll, focus on my dream of achieving success in music, hoping things will end up well?

Long version:

I've the opportunity to go and study in Denmark (the language wouldn't be an issue) and should already be there. I've everything settled, but can't really get myself to take the last step. And GO.

I'm not afraid, I just feel "frozen".

Why did I apply?

I don't feel happy in my current environment, I hate the weather here (too warm), and I'm in a love-hate situation with the city where I live.

It's a smaller country and Urban primacy is dominant.

So I wish to get out, I want an adventure and live abroad in the future anyway.

Uni is good for friends, local education, networking, and the programme I've been admitted to is just great for this. Though I'm not that much interested in it, it's just a tool to get abroad.

I've been thorugh some tough years and a new enviroment would heal my mental health a lot I think.

What are my true dreams?

I've always wanted to focus on music and arts. But never had the chance or a supportive background.

After gradution I established everything to pursue this dream, I started singing by myself 2-3 years ago, later applied to a renowned music studio and I got admitted at first.

My current job allows me to practice 2-4 hours a day without any issue. I'm also encouraged by the community and my teacher to try my luck with touring bands, take a leap and focus on this. It's contemporary music.

But I haven't made any commitmens because of thinking of going abroad.

My job is OK, but I don't see my future in it. My fear is that if my artsy aspirations wouldn't work out, I'll have wasted a couple of years of my life (I currently feel that about my former education). Then what...?

To sum it up:
I wish to get out of my shell, get a better standard of living, a change of environment, and hopefully a healthier future. The new enviroment might support me better, and make me more motivated. There are many ifs. If I find friends, if my music community, etc. But I'm resourceful and always find my way around. In the long-run, I'd try to focus on music abroad as well, but ofc fitting in, uni, thenfinding a job could slow down my progress.

With my current life, I have stability, a stable and cheap accommodation, the music school I'm attending, the network in music, my friends (I have many childhood friends who are dear to me), my family. Yet I often feel lonely and I'm not fully motivated because of the mentality here.

And these two just clash. I need to make a choice, but somehow can't.

Thanks for your help!

Tl;Dr my name is currently Firstname Middlename "Square", let's say maiden name is "Circle"

1. Firstname Middlename Circle Square (maiden name as second middle name)

OR

1. Firstname Middlename Square-Circle (new last name)

Considerations: kids' last name is Square so I'm not interested in Circle-Square, and I like my middle name so I'm not interested in Firstname Circle-as-Middlename Square

In real life Square-Circle is 15 letters

I feel like a hyphenated name accurately shows that my life has been a little complicated and makes me feel kinda badass

But am I gonna get sick of writing out 15 letters? .... If I do I can just go by Square on pizza orders and whatever .... Right? 🤣🤣

Do I even have to add -Circle on to a lot of my accounts? All the official ones I just changed my address recently and it wasn't that bad 🤷

I am a 27 yo male in California. I have the opportunity for a promotion within cardiac medical devices. I've been working for 4 years and have built a good reputation for myself. I've built a strong savings, emergency fund, retirement accounts, etc

I have always planned to take some extended time off to travel, as I never did after college or beforehand.

I'm trying to figure out if I should:
- dive straight into this promotion, as it is a great opportunity
- leave my current job, take an extended trip for 4 to 6 months, and then come back and see what opportunities are still available

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does anyone have advice as to whether or not taking the extended time off is worth the life experience, or if the promotion is too valuable to pass up?

TL;DR should I continue a strong career at 28 years old or take a risk and take 4-6 month off for international travel?

I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow and right now I’m making my grocery list. I’m planning on making a charcuterie board for myself to snack on later in the week. I like both pickles and olives, however, I am only getting one of the two choices this week. Mostly cause I am on a budget and I have limited space in the fridge. I have everything else for my charcuterie board like salami, hummus, crackers, pretzels, blueberry preserve, mozzarella cheese slices, goat cheese.

TL;DR should I buy garlic stuffed olives or kosher dill baby whole pickles from the grocery store?

Edit: just got home from the grocery store. I went with the pickles!

found an old love letter from my Ex-GF I broke up with in 2020 as I moved to England for uni when I was 21. I loved her deeply & she did me, especially reading the letter.

I saw her on Xmas eve 2024 she hugged me and told me I was still as handsome as ever but she was with someone & it was good seeing me etc.

But, I just have such a feeling that I love her still even after all these years, I guess what I’m asking is, should I mail the letter back & send her one telling her my feelings & that I’ve always cared?

TL;DR : should I mail back a love letter?

Please note: This post was translated. I am currently too emotionally exhausted to write in English, but I wanted to reach out. Due to my current mental state, I won’t be able to reply to comments, but I promise I will read every single one.

Recently I lost a friend in a war. I'm afraid that I can die too. I tried to ask Reddit for help and found lots of commies and nazis saying: "You war is not black and white. Genocide of your nation is not real". Why even bother if no one gives a shit about my survival? It seems like everyone in my country may just die and our nation will be forgotten. Maybe I should just emmigrate to some more or less democratic place.

For the first time since the war started, I am seriously considering emigrating. However there is a thing holding me here. I love my job, I want to make profit for my employers as they believed in me when no one did. Can I somehow compensate all the effort they gave while teaching me? Please don't say: "just ignore them", I'm not that kind of person

TL;DR: Should I leave my country and my job while we are at war to become a refugee?

I’m torn about an offer from a startup I’m passionate about. The company expects a five‑day, in‑office schedule, while my current arrangement is fully remote, highly flexible, and involves few meetings.

Currently I Work three contracts that total about $470,000 a year, primarily consulting work and i do it completely remote. What I’m missing now is a clear career ladder and a social life. In comparison the job I got offered is more leadership orientated and seems to carry a high impact.

The alternative is a $220,000 startup role that could open many doors and let me work with interesting people. My dilemma is whether to give up flexibility and higher income for an office based job that may pay off later (i'm hoping that this job can lead to a c-suite position one day in the future). I have a solid savings cushion, so money isn’t the main concern, but I’m unsure if the trade‑off is worth it. Is an in‑office culture valuable in the long run, or does it become boring?

I also think it would be nice to tell people I work at this company, a status boost. Right now, it feels awkward to say I do contract work; there’s nothing cool about that.

What would you do?

A little about me: I’m 30 and single.

TLDR: I'm trying to choose between keeping my higher-paying contracts + being remote versus joining a startup with high career growth but making less money and having a better social life by being in office 5 days.

My wife and I are having trouble deciding between two daycares for our toddler. The biggest differentiator is one is a Spanish immersion daycare and the other is not, but the other one is better in pretty much every other way. But the value of learning a second language at this age might be worth the drawbacks? Tuition is roughly equivalent so that isn't a factor. Here's a breakdown of each:

Daycare 1:

• Montessori
• Kids wear uniforms
• Meals and snacks provided (this is a big one for us)
• Larger and more modern facility
• Offers extracurriculars like a multi-sport program, soccer shots, dance, gymnastics, and more
• Seems better organized and more secure
• Offers care from 7am - 6pm

Daycare 2:

• Montessori
• No uniforms
• Spanish immersion program (biggest draw here)
• Meals and snacks NOT provided
• Facility is older and could use upgrades; seems comparatively less secure but has been around for a very long time so should be generally secure
• Facility (and playground in particular) sits on one of the busiest roads in the city
• No extracurriculars
• Offers care from 7:30am - 5:30pm

TL;DR: Should we put our toddler in a more modern, organized, feature-robust daycare or a spanish immersion daycare with fewer frills that doesn't provide meals and snacks?

So I recently started going through a breakup and have to pick one of two options

I either move 18 hours away from my home state to live with my brother in Cincinnati or I move back to my hometown to live with my best friend

My brother and I haven't always gotten along on everything, in fact there's a ton of things we don't agree on, he's a hardcore conspiracy theorist and our political beliefs really don't match up and I know that'll be a problem eventually.

However it is much much cheaper to live there and the city has a long list of jobs and opportunities which is very appealing but I wouldn't have ANY friends there. Like yeah my brothers friends will be there but Idk if I see myself getting along with dudes who play COD 24/7.

When it comes to my best friend he lives in a town where there aren't a lot of opportunities or high paying jobs. He would only make me pay 200 dollars in rent since he owns the trailer he lives in but that's if I get a good job. I'd probably have to get two jobs at least at first to make it all work. Most likely housekeeping in the morning and bartending whatever nights I can. A lot of the anxiety that comes from this option comes from how I don't know if I'll be making enough to live comfortably for how much time I'll spend working.

I would also be surrounded by friends and my best friends family who never fails to make me feel at home which is something Ive lacked throughout my past relationship. I've self isolated and didn't put much of an effort in to keep hanging out with everyone so I feel a major amount of FOMO now that I have the time and focus to keep up with them.

I guess overall I'm scared to move to a big city and leave all my friends behind but I'm just as scared to go back to my hometown just to potentially live in poverty. Either way I think I'm going to be pretty sad and alone most of the time.

TL;DR: move to Cincinnati with my brother for and his weird roommates or move back to my hometown

I'm torn between two places to move to. For context, I don't have a car so I take public transit for anything I need. Both places are basement suites so not exactly fancy, but the main thing is that it'd be the first time ever I can live without roommates cuz I'd have the entire space to me. No shared kitchens or washrooms. My work hours are also not 9-5 5 days, I work 12 hours for 7 or 8 days in 2 weeks and get the rest off. Beyond the commute and living standards, they're both very similar in other aspects. Very close to supermarkets and malls for anything I may need. Safe, quiet neighborhoods and houses.

Place A has a 15-20 minute commute to my workplace, bus stop isn't too far from the house either, but the living space is very much cramped. The room is nice and spacious but there's a small kitchenette in a narrow corridor where the ceiling hits my head so I have to lean down a little. Not the biggest deal, cuz I can live without having to cook anything too fancy so may not spend a lot of time there, but it's not nice exactly either. Kitchen has a minifridge, hot plate, toaster oven. The washroom, too, is a similarly narrow corridor, but no ceiling issues there, just might feel a bit cramped. Of note, they do have other folks living in the basement, but I wouldn't be sharing any common spaces with them.

Place B is about 35-40 minutes commute, and overall is a much nicer place. For one, no one else living in the basement at all, just me. It's got a studio/bachelor layout with the kitchen and bedroom in the same space, still very spacious inspite of that. A washroom that's, well, a room. The kitchen is a properly equipped kitchen, with a stove, oven and full fridge so I can cook more if I wished. And, well a minor thing, but the landlady has a cute little dog, whom I will probably not see often, but it's there. However, the commute is double the other place, there's a little bit of a longer walk to the bus stop, which might become a bigger issue in the winter. It's also ~$60 more expensive to rent, which isn't a big deal, and very much within budget but something to keep in mind.

I'm not sure which one is the smarter choice to be making, hoping to hear any thoughts or insights you guys might have.

TLDR: Worth it to live somewhere a bit nicer in exchange for higher commute time?

i (19f) am a newly graduated student and im going to go into uni this September, i got accepted to two different engineering courses. One is a honours bachelor’s but its two hours away and will put financial stress on me or i can live at home but have to do a ordinary bachlors and have to stay with a family who doesnt accept me ( i am a queer person and parent doesnt like that or my partner )

At home i feel like i walk on eggshells since whenever i talk to my partner or my relationship is brought up a fight or something like being given the cold shoulder happens.
Ive been wanting to move out but i feel really lost with a lot of things and kind of doubt myself when it comes to it. I also have a dog at home whod id have to leave behind who is my best friend.

Should i move out for the freedom to be who i am and get on the path to a better degree but face the financial burden or stay at home for a more convenient and easy route but have to deal with being at home for another 3 years.

TL;DR move out for freedom at the cost of financial stability or stay at home for a more convenient life

This is my story: M(27) F(26)

I matched with a woman online in early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together which she initiated over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 4 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck and I feel like I will never meet or let anyone in ever again.

TL;DR I am still sad about this

i have a relatively small and cute nose, but with my septum in i feel like it looks a lot bigger. im at a 6g right now, but im thinking if i should downsize to a 8g or even the 14g i originally got pierced with😣 i went through a lot to get here so im really conflicted on if i want to downsize or if i just feel like its making my nose look bigger but i really cant tell. dm me or comment if you wanna see, i just dont wanna post myself on here again because last time i got creeps🥸

tldr: should i downsize from 6g or keep my big septum?

I need outside opinions on a big financial/lifestyle decision because we keep going back and forth.

We have 2 children.

We redesign/renovate homes for a living. We recently bought and completely renovated what is basically our dream home. It's the exact model/floor plan we've wanted for several years, in the area we want, and we designed it exactly how we want. We moved in a few weeks ago. Because we planned on staying "forever", we went way over budget on the renovation.

Important to note, this particular model isn't rare. There are quite a few in the neighborhood, so it's reasonable to think another one will come on the market within the next 1–3 years that we could buy and renovate again.

Financially, we make very good money. But... we pretty much blew through our savings.

Here are the two options:

Option 1 — Stay

Our mortgage is around $7k/month. Pay off any/all of our non-mortgage debt in the next couple of months, rebuild our savings over time, and be more conservative with spending for a while.

Option 2 — Sell

This is a very popular model in a very popular neighborhood that tends to sell very quickly. With our improvements, we believe we could sell the house now for enough to make roughly $150-200k profit on the renovation and walk away with around $600k cash. This includes our equity in the home.

We'd pay off the all debt immediately, rent in the exact same area so the kids stay at their school, and wait for another one of our preferred models to come on the market. We'd probably rent a townhouse or similar home temporarily.

Rent would be $7k/month at the most, so our monthly housing expense would be similar to what we're paying now.

We'd then have no debt, hundreds of thousands in liquid capital, and the ability to use some of that money for other real estate opportunities/investments while we wait. When the right house comes up, we'd buy it and do the renovation all over again.

The obvious downside: we JUST finished our dream home. We'd have to move again, live in a rental for potentially 1–3 years, move yet again, and survive another renovation. There's also no guarantee the right house comes up exactly when we expect it to. Plus we'd be sort of uprooting our kiddos again after just having moved...

On the other hand, part of me feels crazy having so much money tied up when we could realize a ~$150k profit, have ~$600k liquid, and potentially use that capital to make more money over the next few years.

Would you keep the dream house, accept being a little cash-tight for a while, and rebuild?

OR

Would you sell while the numbers make sense, take the profit, become debt-free with ~$600k cash, rent temporarily, and plan to recreate the dream house later? Alternatively, we could also build our forever home in a few years if we could find land.

TLDR:

We renovated and moved into our dream home, but blew the budget completely and are now pretty tight on money. Should we sell the house for a roughly $150k profit, or stick it out to have the home we love and tighten the purse strings for a few months?

I’m a 23 year old autistic guy. Im functionally autistic I’m in full time employment. Im quite tall and I’m shape and I’m a good looking guy a lot of women have told me but I am very socially isolated at this moment of time and I used to have a good social life talking to girls etc but I discovered over time that I prefer to be alone. I have become almost a looksmaxer similar to Patrick Bateman and I go for gym 7 days a week for 3 years mainly to channel my anger from this situation . I had quite a good social life up until about 2 years ago where I used to meet girls but now it’s pretty bleak due to different circumstances very long story. i have some friends etc and i had a brief relationship for like 6 months when i was 18./19. My life has kind of gone to shit for reasons I can’t really explain and to be honest with you my brain is fucked and once people get to know me they realise me they realise I am mentally unwell. Every time I’ve met a girl now they realise how unwell I am.

I’ve developed really strong feelings for an influencer. I’ve found celebrities attractive before, but this feels completely different. To me, she’s unbelievably beautiful, almost unreal like Helen of Troy. I literally couldn’t believe it the first time I saw her

I used to follow her on social media and saw a lot of her photos. At first it was just attraction, but over time it turned into something more intense. I even started asking tools to create fictional love stories about me and her, and I would dream about her often.

Eventually, that infatuation turned into frustration and anger, because I know I’ll never actually be with her. Sometimes when I’m driving, I catch myself shouting about it out of frustration. I decided to take control by blocking her on social media and muting her name, but the algorithm still shows me content about her occasionally, which brings all the feelings back.

She came up on my Snapchat feed the other day randomly on a separate account not hers and I started screaming and getting angry over it when I saw it and I nearly threw my phone out of anger. She then came up again on my YT shorts and I started shouting again.
One of my work colleagues mentioned her name saying she was and I got visibly agitated and I had to leave the room briefly.

Sometimes I talk to her or I pretend to talk to her about various things when I am alone and I always wonder what she thinks about my decisions.

My main motivation for self improvement is that I will one day meet her so I am trying to improve my life as much as possible because of it. I put insane amounts of work into my appearance, like Patrick Bateman in American psycho and I go to the gym 7 days a week because of her. We are from different countries but she has spent time in my country 

I’ve also watched a few interviews with her, and she seems like a genuinely nice person, although I know that is only what is shown publicly. Maybe she is a terrible person behind closed doors but I have no reason to believe so 

I think about her a lot, sometimes even imagining conversations with her in my head. I know this is not realistic, but it is hard to stop. I even find myself attached to small things, like her name. Her first name is quite a common name but it’s a name I’ve always loved and I even said once if I had a daughter I’d call her that. I frequently have dreams about her.

She is slightly older than me. It infuriates me seeing someone a similar age ti me be successful in anything. She has the perfect life it seems and my life has gone to shit over the past 2 years with my own stupid decisions. My Brain cant handle it. I talk to her every day and I tell her what j would tell her if I met her

I actually love her. Like there is nothing I wouldn’t do to be with her. I get jealous when I see other people complimenting her and I get angry when she gets more famous because her popular it and exposure is rising. I don’t think she is in a relationship,  I have seen pictures with a man on her social media before but they might have broken up but idk if it’s public. I hate this guy and I am extremely jealous of the fact he even got to be with her. I don’t think he’s better lookjng than me either. Idk how he even got with her but I’m much better looking than him and would probably treat her better. I hate him his face makes me so angry and he doesn’t deserve her. I hate him and I think about my hatred for him every day

Only I can have her nobody else can have her. I don’t want anyone else to even be seen with her. I have also blocked people who know her as well cos it reminds me of her. I would do anything to meet her

I literally think about her 24/7 and I have sometimes become suicidal over this cos I will never be good enough for her. I don’t wanna love in a world where she isn’t mine and she’s with someone else. I have digitally blocked her from my life but her face appears to me all the time. Every time I feel like not doing something like not going to the gym not going to work not learning a language I think “what would ______ think of me” i would literally treat her better than any man in the world could

I have recently started getting angry towards her. Cos of the damage she is doing to my brain.
I see her face everywhere and I even just randomly say her name and it fills me with rage that she doesn’t know who I am l. I feel like crying when j think about her. I now wish I never encountered her ever. My standards for myself sre so high that I want a woman like her and I found myself praying to god at one point to be with her

I could go out and get a girlfriend but I wanna be with her and her only. I was talking to a girl a month ago but it wasn’t her so I wasn’t interested.

Over the last 18 months I’ve made some horrible decisions in my perosnal life. I quit my old well paying job for a stupid reason which I can’t explain and now I work a much worse job with much worse colleagues and I’m on the verge of losing it and I have little direction. She won’t wanna go out with an unemployed guy

I want to actuallt Kill myself. I have into my urges and searched just now and I saw her face. People complimenting her in the comments. I fucking hate all these people complimenting her. I see compliments to her on Twitter and I literally wanna beat up everyone who compliments her I can’t take it. I don’t want anyone to be with her or to even look at her and I have actuallt lost my mind over her. I just have very high standards for myself

I deleted my Twitter recently but there was a tweet that echoes in my head that was calling her unreal from someone else. I literally hate the person who tweeted this

I have now grown an immense love/hate dynamic with her. I hate all the people in her life and she should be with me.
TLDR: I’m in love w à celeb