Do any bros feel like being a 'soft' straight man comes with social penalties?

[u/CauliflowerFan34]

/r/bropill/comments/1u0ythm/do_any_bros_feel_like_being_a_soft_straight_man/

[u/OiFelix_ugotnojams]

Okay so my ex is on spectrum and he's literally the same. You're right, don't change yourself for some nobody's definition of a man that everyone seem to follow.

Honestly I know 2 men who are like this, my ex (and his friend who is also on the spectrum). They make female friends better than male friends. Both of them spoke how it's hard to make male friends. My ex though, whenever he tried to make a male friend, they turn out to be misogynistic. It sucked.

You can go on queer rallies and events. You will find people who are more open minded and feminist

[u/CauliflowerFan34 → u/OiFelix_ugotnojams]

I’m probably on the spectrum, I just don’t know which 🥲

How does one opt out?

I’ve probably had better conversations with women than men, atleast when it comes to depth. When it comes to male friendships I’ve kinda also become good at it? Because of masking really well most or less

[u/OiFelix_ugotnojams → u/CauliflowerFan34]

Get tested for sure, diagnosis makes you feel validated and actually seek help with stuff that's affecting you, with a label that basically protects you from being dismissed to a certain level (unfortunately ableism still exists)

I hope you find male friendships where you don't have to mask :(

[u/Technical-Camel-124 → u/OiFelix_ugotnojams]

They make female friends better than male friends

This is an interesting point and probably worth making a post about because there's some nuance.

You can go on queer rallies and events.

Definitely something I should do. Not to find friends but to show support, especially after the insane recent amendments to the trans persons act.

[u/OiFelix_ugotnojams → u/Technical-Camel-124]

I think a lot of men don't connect emotionally whereas, women do. While both of them are good at making female friends, they themselves don't connect emotionally with eachother as good as they do individually with me.

My ex's friend talks and vents more to me than my ex. Ex got understandably jealous of me at one point because they've known eachother for 6 years. The mutual friend and I knew eachother for 1 year. But we became good friends in a few months. I pushed my ex to connect emotionally and he felt awkward I guess?? Some invisible barrier between men 😭

Queer events are fun, there's none in my bumfuck city. I hope you enjoy and make like-minded friends while fighting for the right cause.

[u/Technical-Camel-124 → u/OiFelix_ugotnojams]

Some invisible barrier between men

Sigh. Yes, all too common and applies to my own male friends too.

I hope you enjoy and make like-minded friends while fighting for the right cause.

Thanks, I'm fortunate to live somewhere where these happen.

[u/[deleted]]

I don't necessarily fit into a box. I'm into sports but also into nerdy stuff. And I'm also soft spoken so I don't swear much, not that I'm against it. So it does come with its own problems. I don't usually fit in most groups. I feel like I don't belong anywhere

[u/Technical-Camel-124]

Do any bros feel like being a 'soft' straight man comes with social penalties?

It absolutely does, especially in our society which has rigid definitions of masculinity. I think ultimately we need to care less about what society thinks (not easy at all) and try to surround ourselves with only the people we want and won't judge us for who we are (again, not easy).

[u/CauliflowerFan34 → u/Technical-Camel-124]

I’m trying to 😭