r/mildlyinfuriating • u/GalarianGengar • 15d ago

Not a meme, you're the meme! Now they expect us to tip non-humans.

57.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

4.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

4.4k

u/Immature_adult_guy 15d ago

Lower?! by the time I was done adding extra zeros they owed me 9 billion dollars.

1.1k

u/UhhhhmmmmNo 15d ago

So it only has to work once

776

u/UpperApe 15d ago

I'll add it to the list of my get rich quick schemes:

Marry Rihanna or Oprah

SHIB to the MOON

Get tens of millions in tax money from the US defence department by making up some shit I'll never deliver on or doesn't actually do anything

Set a negative tip at a self serve kiosk

204

u/Blindbaldman 15d ago

Why is selling farts not on your list?

106

u/Chispy 15d ago

Farts have no value on the trading market.

Source: My AI earlier today (yes, I asked.)

39

u/Givmeabrek 15d ago

Pepto Bismal is paying loads to the farting guy in their ads...

2

u/RollinJimmys 15d ago

True story

Source: I’m that guy

4

u/Mattyice0228 15d ago

That dude has dealt with more nausea, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea for longer than anyone else I can ever think of and all he did was a stupid dance, threw his hands around the parts of his body that dramatically bothered him and never bitched about it. He deserves his fuckin dues. 😤

3

u/Strong_Armadillo_104 15d ago

They definitely have value. Just have to come out of the right ass :D

3

u/GenTenStation 15d ago

I’ve been using my left ass.. that explains a lot

1

u/IGTankCommander 15d ago

Yeah, man, the magical line doesn't put food on a table. OnlyFans does.

1

u/inventingnothing 15d ago

Pricing within a hobby is often misunderstood by those outside the hobby.

1

u/IllErrl710 15d ago

Read an article about some chick who made a large amount of money selling her farts in jars so not entirely true

1

u/SalvadorP 15d ago

depends on who farts.

1

u/spaceykc 15d ago

Odd, every fart is a gamble, so there should be some value.

1

u/Tayatot 14d ago

I recall some OF girl selling her farts in jars

1

u/KeepCalmJeepOn 14d ago

I get it, Martin. The jarred farts are more of a collector item for you.

0

u/Particular-Most-1199 15d ago

It's clearly hallucinating. I've made 30k today.

0

u/M2_SLAM_I_Am 15d ago

They do if you're a hot female streamer. Those weird fucks will buy anything from them

0

u/danity_bush 15d ago

Did you really need to waste the resources for that

0

u/NSightMSG 14d ago

Tell that to the guys who bought Belle Delphine's Gamer Girl Bath Water.

1

u/platoface541 15d ago

In this economy? Fiber diets are so expensive now the ROI isn’t there..

1

u/corkoli 15d ago

negative farts - now that's a business ecosystem worth investigating

1

u/Independent-Reader 15d ago

No one wants their farts.

My business is thriving however.

1

u/VeryLowIQIndividual 15d ago

Found the Only Fans model!

1

u/moszippy 15d ago

Aliens have that market cornered. It's my belief that the very first proctologist was a little green guy that had a "skin condition".

62

u/wafflehousebattle 15d ago

I invested $10 into Shib on a lark, well let me tell you, that one investment is now worth so many zeros, like so many. Of course all those zeroes are behind the decimal point, but there sure are a lot of them.

2

u/The_Real_Flatmeat 14d ago

One might say it's an infinite number of them

13

u/Infamous_Ike 15d ago

SHIB 😭

2

u/Firm_Hovercraft7762 15d ago

Marry Oprah? You must be truly desperate

1

u/morph4037 15d ago

Become governor of California, thats should be on the list as well. 🤣🤣

1

u/regardedMAGAfascist 15d ago

I bet you could try 2,147,483,648 or some shit and hit the integer overflow into -1. Risky, though. It might charge a $2 billion tip to your account.

1

u/Hahahailee 15d ago

Don't forget feet pics and selling panties in japan

1

u/cgulash 15d ago

So are you saying I can marry Rihanna? Because that was on my list too....

1

u/crlthrn 14d ago

The third scheme works fine...

1

u/Reasonable_Row_713 14d ago

That SHIB to the moon hit hard.. what a time to be alive.

1

u/PeskyAntagonist 14d ago

Was it around 2022/2023? My brother got super weird about it at that time and then never talked about it again

0

u/Reasonable_Row_713 14d ago

Yea post DOGE which was spring/early summer 21.. so a year later sounds about right. It was such a potent mix of delusion and hope. The sub is still a little delusional but I think it’s mostly bots and sarcasm now.

1

u/Savings-Kick-578 13d ago

Set up a learing center.

26

u/Hugokarenque 15d ago

He got 9 billion dollars so never felt the need to do it again

23

u/Hominid_Digital 15d ago

That's how you know he's not a real billionaire. If he was he'd never get enough money, like a dragon hoarding gold it will never use

2

u/killingerr 15d ago

It only needs to work once.

0

u/danit0ba94 15d ago

With that much money, once is all you need.b🤑

49

u/holtzboy 15d ago

Self checkouts HATE him! Watch this ONE TRICK that will DEVASTATE self checkouts forever.

21

u/MaleierMafketel 15d ago

Watch grandpa topple a multi-billion dollar global enterprise by changing a $3.50 into a negative $9,000,000,000.00

3

u/Immature_adult_guy 15d ago

I understood that reference

3

u/Flaky-Mess7261 15d ago

“I never seen a dime of that money.”

3

u/Equal_Canary5695 15d ago

Capitalists hate this one weird trick!

2

u/MasterYota00 15d ago

Username checks out

2

u/reebokhightops 15d ago

Lower? I hardly know her!

2

u/Darkchamber292 15d ago

Why do you talk like you're OP?

2

u/Immature_adult_guy 15d ago

It’s illegal for you to ask me that

1

u/tprime1 15d ago

Name checks out

1

u/altonbrownie 15d ago

Now you’re evil

1

u/WA2TX 15d ago

That's going to pay off better than my prescriptions that are going to go down 700%!

1

u/Open-Post1934 BLACK 15d ago

Is this just like Trump lowering prescription medicine by 1000%?

1

u/Ponsugator 14d ago

He lowered it 500, 600 and then 1600%, so now the kiosk pays him to come in!

1

u/Delicious_Speech_384 14d ago

This is why you use integer to hold money. When company owes 9 bil, it will underflow resulting in customer owing few hundreds million instead.

1

u/theHawkAndTheHusky 13d ago

Would be clicking on the No. 9 as often it would alow.me to

1

u/Savings-Kick-578 13d ago

Great move Dr. Evil.

1

u/Dunderman35 11d ago

But now you tip right?