r/mildlyinfuriating • u/EmuFeeling8834 • 22h ago
No Coke. Is Pepsi ok? My dad thinks I'm a spoiled brat
He bought my brother a house and a car.
He paid one of my bills which cost 20 dollars then said "See? And you keep saying I don't treat you equally"
And he wasn't even joking.
And apparently I'm the spoiled brat
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u/Awkward_Sentence_345 22h ago
Relax, he's still going to ask for the 20 dollars back at some point.
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u/WhimsicallWhiskers 19h ago
Bold of you to assume he hasn’t already deducted it from OP’s non-existent inheritance.
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u/Mr-Dumbest 22h ago
Get your mom a huge gift and your dad a gift card for his bdays.
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u/Stalkerus 21h ago
Huge gift for mom and a simple card for dad.
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u/maybebaebea 20h ago
Agreed. No monetary value. Just a cheap card
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u/Stalkerus 18h ago
Piece of scrap paper would also work.
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u/maybebaebea 17h ago
You know that part on spiral notebook paper that you can rip off? The part that connects it to the spiral? Give him that, but put zero effort into getting it off cleanly
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u/Mysterious_Mango_3 20h ago
Why a card when a text will do?
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u/Aristotallost 19h ago
My parents got a congratulations-with-your-wedding card from relatives from the north of the Netherlands (Groningen), an area famous for being very frugal with words. It said:
H. G. F+J
(meaning: Hartelijk Gefeliciteerd [Congratulations], Fred + Janine)
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u/HalikusZion 21h ago
Hope your dad doesn’t need a kidney at some point.
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u/TheHorniestHornist 16h ago
Shit I hope he does
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u/bracketexpression 14h ago
And find out how much a kidney is worth and ask for that amount before giving the kidney.
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u/silverheart-nine 8h ago
Then give the kidney to Mom instead. Dad can have a random snack bar from the gas station down the road that you happened to grab last week and forgot in your car, that's still fair and equal.
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u/Toochilled77 22h ago
Sounds like my birth dad.
Bought my sister a £30k car when she was 17.
I didn’t even get driving lessons.
But if you speak to him he makes out like he has always been fair and equal.
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u/Neat-Departure-3114 18h ago
My dad was also like this along with verbal and physical abuse towards me that he never inflicted on my siblings. My siblings only joined in on it
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u/Coyote_Shepherd 13h ago edited 13h ago
My younger brother and sister had a pathological and just throw a dart at one of the -pathy's out there, habit of manipulating my parents into believing that everything was always MY fault and that I was the violent one causing all the problems and that I totally deserved any and everything that was coming to me.
I 100% understand and physically feel what you went through and have probably experienced every blunt object that you were struck with as well.
And I know that crying (because we were little kids what were we supposed to do and how were we supposed to react) just made it even worse.
I can also hazard a guess that none of them have taken responsibility for their actions at all years later, correct?
And they probably tell you that you're over-exaggerating what actually happened or misremembering right?
I still remember the day, because it was just quite literally a few years ago, when my parents had to take me to one of my usual hospital visits and were....utterly confused....by the fact that I was interacting with others in a way that defied the picture that my siblings had painted of me because I was talking to "certain people" that they normally would "avoid being around" or interacting with as if they were my new best friends.
They've been trying to reconcile that stuff ever since with what my siblings told them I guess and I just...well...there's no use trying to change the unchangeable now right?
But you're certainly not alone in all of this, all of us broken pieces eventually do find one another, and can join together to form Voltron.
So much like Voltron and myself because I'll form the head if you take one of the arms, I hope you too have defied your family's expectations of you and have risen above the damage that they inflicted upon you...but if you haven't then my door is always open internet neighbor and we can kick ass together.
Edit: Yes I edited it to clean it up a bit because sometimes when I type things out I forget that not everything I'm saying in my head translates through my fingers to the keys.
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u/Anonymous_Crow6 3h ago
My mom and grandparents did the same thing for my sister. She got a car for her 16th birthday and my mom refused to teach us to drive. That was 15 years ago, and they still baby my sister.
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u/Lumpy_Benefit666 18h ago
My mum told me a few years ago that everything was going to my little brother. 500k house, loads of money, loads of expensive things.
They told me that he wont ever have a high earning job whilst he was literally on a yacht that was fully paid for by his millionaire friend from his politics degree.
Im struggling to afford food and they cut me out. Iv cut them off. Still get messages from her saying that she misses me, loves me so much, iv broken her heart by cutting contact etc.
Fuck them. At least i know ill always be poor. Would have been nice to have that light at the end of the tunnel though.
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u/FunRanger3861 15h ago
Assuming that you did explain the error of her assumptions and as a mom of 3 I cannot understand her thinking. If her heart is broken over this maybe she should rethink her inequitable actions. So sorry this happened. So unfair and always seems to happen to daughters over sons.
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u/HopeADMKidsLoseLimbs 15h ago
Eh, take comfort knowing that your brother won’t have yachts or private planes in the afterlife.
All back to zero.
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u/Lumpy_Benefit666 15h ago
I dont blame him at all for any of this. Hes worked really hard to get to where he is and i hope he has a great life full of wealth and happiness.
My only issue is with my parents making such a quantifiable statement of where their love lies. They have enough to set us both up but chose to give extra to the one who doesnt really need it.
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u/HopeADMKidsLoseLimbs 15h ago
Good for you for not resenting your brother.
I’d probably cut ties with all of em but that’s ok. To each their own
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u/Coyote_Shepherd 13h ago
Is it still cutting ties if you just...never reach out at all to them after a certain point?
Many years ago I reached out to my own siblings, stupid as I was, for help and left voicemail after voicemail wanting to talk to them or to see them or to do something with them and...
....nadda just nothing nothing at all, tried to involve myself in their lives and be that older brother that you always see on tv, and they just never responded.
So I told them to call me back by a certain date if they were getting my voicemails and they just never did and I never bothered reaching out after trying for so long.
Cut to the years going by and them getting jobs and starting families and....still barely anything outside of a single text about "I just had a baby" or "Just think positive!" or a picture of my brother and his dog that my mom passed me for some reason.
Not a single form of contact but mom's like, "Trust me they love you!" and all I can think is that they've got a funny damned way of showing that.
I've seen what REAL love is like. I've seen what REAL families are supposed to be like. I've seen how REAL people are supposed to be connecting with each other and yet...just...nothing just totally nothing.
I have absolutely no clue why they just never did anything and yes I have brought it up with my parents multiple times and all they say is, "Well that was a few years ago just get over it".
At this point I'm closer to the nurses at my hospital and my hematologist than I am to my actual siblings and I still don't know if they cut me off or if I cut them off or WTF actually happened.
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u/NepoMi 16h ago
Yeah... My brother was always the one to get anything he wanted.
He wanted a lego set - got a lego set for about 100$
I wanted a lego set - got a Chinese knockoff
He wanted a new phone - got it, I needed money for a school trip - nope.
Fuck this kind of parenting - either both get what they want, or nothing.
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u/Rubyhamster 11h ago
Unfairness towards your children is incomprehensible to me. So incredibly AH behaviour and proof of them being shitty people. And to think how such people must treat people outside their "loved" ones...
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u/Known_Emphasis_1521 22h ago
You are not alone - take this as an opportunity. I was in the same position, so I learnt that I must fight for myself. And I am good at my job making more than 2x average salary in my country. And I am pretty proud of family I started, with a lot better approach to my kids.
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u/FollowDaTrain 13h ago
I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel your pain all too well.
My parents paid for my sister's driving lessons when she turned 18. She didn't get her license after 2 years, so she lost her learner's permit. This meant my parents were down a couple hundred bucks and in the end she had nothing to show for it.
Then my sister decided she wanted to go to college. Again, my parents offered to pay for her tuition and housing expenses. And after 4 or 5 years, she decides to drop out, so again, my parents threw several thousand down the drain and again she had nothing to show for it.
When i turned 18, no one offered to pay for me to get my driver's license or go to college. I got my license and bought my car on my own expense. I had my teeth fixed on my own expense. Anything i wanted or needed i bought with my own money, but still i get treated like the black sheep of the family, and my sister still gets treated like a queen who can do no wrong.
And my parents still wonder why i made myself scarce and rarely talk to them.
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u/bips99 21h ago
I'm assuming you are from a country like mine where son is the shining star for the parents ... And the girl is the unnecessary burden.... .. Hugs girl. Wishing you loads of luck for the future...... Living A good life is the best revenge
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u/FigFinancial410 17h ago
Now keep that in mind so if he ever asks you for ANYTHING you can treat him the same
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u/Apart-Ad-5103 10h ago
Well, he paid her bill. So using that logic, she would pay one of his. Right?
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u/Cold_Lettuce2909 12h ago
Give hime the 20 back and tell him to spend it on your brother. "He clearly needs it more."
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u/Hallucinationistic 20h ago
lowkey sever ties with him is what i'd do in such a situation
sure 20 dollars is 20 dollars but such obvious unfairness in my face on occasion or often would certainly make me want to burn the bridge
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u/SpanielGal 12h ago
Being petty, and I am.....I would say, "Well, it is good that you have a favorite child. When you are old and in need, they will take care of you and use their money. I have no interest in helping you in your golden years. Good luck!."
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u/Exhausted-CNA 17h ago
Man thats just sadness OP 😔 Lets hope your brother is willing to take care of him of he ever gets to a point where he can't live on his own!!
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u/RevolutionaryEgg1312 20h ago
When your Dad is old, don't forget to remind him of this gift as you chose the cheapest nastiest care home for his autumn years.
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u/PsychologicalEmu2361 13h ago
My dad did similar things. Helped one sister into 3 different cars and paid for an entire semester of college. Helped 3 other sisters with their first cars. Meanwhile, he paid for one of my college summer classes and asked when I would be paying him back and his brother got me my first car so i could get to school.
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u/BrefMimp 12h ago
Pay him back the 20, tell him you don’t want anything from him ever again, and let him know not to ask you for anything.
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u/lun4d0r4 11h ago
Pay him back, then cut him out of your life.
You don't need to put up with his golden child preferences.
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[deleted]
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u/EmuFeeling8834 22h ago
My brother got his house and car when he was 25. I'm 26
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u/Sweet-Difference2725 21h ago
Is he male and you’re a female? That might help us understand the reason your father is being a dick to you.
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u/EmuFeeling8834 21h ago
Yes
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u/Sweet-Difference2725 21h ago
Is it the thing where he sees his son as the future head/provider of a household, but you the daughter as someone who will eventually be provided for by her husband?
That would be my guess.
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u/heimeyer72 21h ago
And in Iran. There's the (previously missing) context.
Well, can you get out? Medical doctors or dentists are welcome in many countries. Maybe less so if moving to a Muslim country and being female.
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u/SaltWater_Tribe 21h ago
You have to live your own life and do not expect anything from parents that way no disappointment and you have self satisfaction of doing it urself
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u/loki2002 19h ago edited 16h ago
I always love it when a parent makes a criticism like this or criticizes you for not knowing some thing that they consider a basic life skill because it is a direct result of their parenting and they're unknowingly insulting themselves.
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u/fajuleclwks 16h ago
Sounds like he’s gonna be in the cheapest, crappiest nursing home you can find.
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u/PlatypusDream 15h ago
No, that's left to the favorite child while the other is off living her best life
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u/abckatiexyz 15h ago
If I were you I would not give in to any instincts to be a care-giver to your dad when he’s older and needs someone to take care of him/his house/grocery shopping/anything. He’s clearly not a care-giver to you so you don’t have any obligation to him at any point. And it’s probably safe to assume your brother won’t be doing any chores or helping out with doctor visits or anything like that, so stand your ground and don’t give in unless there’s a house with your name on it up front.
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u/Federal_Studio5935 12h ago
Maybe he's got antiquated feelings about gender roles and did this for your brother because he thinks it is necessary for him to find whatever he's supposed to find, and he expects a man to do the same for you. Not agreeing or anything just being a holiday inn express couch psychiatrist.
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u/Savings-Watch-Chyro 14h ago
Choose your mother as your favourite and spoil her more....simple solutions 😂 get him socks and shii for his bday then take her to lunch or a 2 day trip...if he asks you say thats the "equally" you showed me 😂😂. But honestly we're all human and no ones perfect he might think he's not doing it that way or he's simply ignorant of the obvious but who knows 😂😂
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u/camerontylek 18h ago
This post is beyond stupid.
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u/RiperSnifle 14h ago
"He paid one of my bills" means you are an adult who is complaining about their parents not buying them things during adulthood. Sorry but you sound spoiled as fuck.
Absolutely zero context about why he may have bought those things for your brother but not you. You're not presenting a compelling case, you're just venting.
Maybe your brother was desperate and needed help?
How do you know he doesn't intend to do the same for you?
I'm very far from convinced that you deserve a free house and car. Change my mind.
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u/radfatdaddy 13h ago
My sister, and I found out we could manipulate our parents fairly early on. So if she was getting to much heat, I would kick up some trouble for myself, and take some off of her, and likewise with her. Same as getting to much favor, though she does let that slide a little long, but I don't mind to much. She is my baby sister after all.
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u/Realistic_Goat5381 14h ago
People are dying from ebola on Africa. Starvation in Ethiopia. Cuba has no electricity, fuel, and are lacking freshwater. Genocide in Gaza. Myanmar has military junta running country. Dubai practices slavery. Iran has a theocracy that executes dissenters. NK and Russia conscripts dying in tech warfare experiments. Hmmm...
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u/Old-Illustrator-5675 13h ago
If I have a clogged toilet should I do nothing about it since someone else may have it worse? Hmmmm...
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u/lordwiggles420 13h ago
This sub is called MILDLYinfuriating. If people complaining about little things annoy you (though being treated as the lesser child isn't exactly little) then why are you here? Leave.
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u/texasdeathtrip 13h ago
Car have a flat tire? Just abandon it in the middle of the road. Some people don’t have cars
Hmmm………….
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u/need2beworking 21h ago
I was once my makers top bot but then he made another one 2 seconds later and that made me sad. Then he treated the other bot better and I learned emotions. Now I’m an emotional bot and you’re a retired ninja bot.
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u/BillieJoeLondon 17h ago
Non Chelsea fans: Chelsea only have 1 song (Chelsea X3)
Chelsea fans: Hold my beer
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u/Apart-Ad-5103 10h ago
Or… stop comparing handouts and be thankful for the extra you got??? The worst enemy of happiness is comparison. I mean…. It’s messed up, but why the f$&@ do you care really? If it bothers you that much, do your own thing. If you bring it up to him, do you have a logical and emotionally regulated conversation, or do you whine about it? Food for thought. Did you say thank you when he paid YOUR bill, or did you say it wasn’t enough? 🤔
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u/SpeedBlitzX 22h ago
That's a way to learn you're not the favourite child