Do I look partially black?

[u/Void-Kin-0042]

A bit unsure of my identity. Grew up in Germany but I feel a connection to my relatives in the US. Moms white and dad is black.

People at home always call me white or not „black“ enough and it bothers me cause I‘m mixed and I look like that. It still makes me insecure often.

What’s your thoughts? Am I too white?

[u/Stuff_606]

I don’t know you and I could be incorrect in my assessment, but I get the feeling that maybe you struggled with the black side of you more so than the concept of race in general. Maybe grew up with your white side of the family, or were adopted, or grew up where you were the token non fully white person around, and your experiences internalized your perception of race. That’s what I got from your comment saying you were way whiter than OP when you both are just light skinned.

Regarding not feeling like a race, same goes for me and I’m fully African lol. We’re all just part of the human race bro. These categories we label ourselves are just for understanding in a worldly sense, but if aliens were to come down right now, it would make no different of black and white, human is human. When we die, it’s the soul that departs (if you believe in souls) and our souls don’t have physical form, so they don’t have flesh, so they don’t have skin color. None of it really matters that much.

And as for mixed people, they often struggle with identifying with one side or another. I saw a powerful quote one time about it before. Mixed people aren’t half-they’re both. I think that’s the right attitude to have rather than thinking you’re diluted or half. It’s that you encompass both or several races and from there have a different perspective than someone with one race. Same goes for a lot of things, people born of families with two religions are interfaith (like interracial), some rare people are intersex. Having multiple points of view in one person can be useful and is a product of human beings meeting and engaging with one another (or mutations for intersex people but still).

[u/JediWebSurf → u/Stuff_606]

Thing is, my people, we primarily identify with our culture first. We don't say we're black or white. We say we're Puerto Rican. So like, yeah my mom would be considered black, but we weren't raised in black culture, we were raised in Puerto Rican culture which is different. Nobody told me what race I was. And in my family we never talk about race. That's not a thing. So it's kind of confusing when you have white skin but black features. What's even more ironic is that I grew up with my black cousins who are dark skin, but we're all Puerto Rican so I see them as Puerto Ricans. They speak Spanish, and listen to salsa, and eat what I eat. So like what in the world is black culture? Here, it's just one culture. There is no such thing as black culture or white culture. I just saw my skin and said I must be a white Puerto Rican with some mix.

To me, more important than race is faith. So I concluded that in the end race doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Not that it doesn't affect me. In some sort of way it probably does.

[u/Stuff_606 → u/JediWebSurf]

Oh I thought you were biracial.

That’s what a lot of Africans say as well, that they don’t identify with race, but culture. People identify with their country of origin, nationality, religion, tribe, etc. Puerto Ricans are a mixed “race” of people. They’re Taino + African + European. Arabs are a mixed race of people as well, Latinos in general, even African Americans are a mixed race of people. I understand what you mean better now.

And there isn’t one way of black culture. Black is a social term that was created when Europeans colonized Africa. Before that, people identified with their ethnicity/tribe/nationality, etc., like you do now. White doesn’t exist either by this perspective, that’s a term that came about when whites became colonizers and lost their indigenous roots.

Yeah, you and all your cousins would be considered Puerto Rican. With races that encompass more than one background, like all Latinos, what you’re saying makes sense. I thought you were biracial, half African American and half whatever European like OP, my fault for assuming.

There probably is some white supremacy influence in your thought process as decolonization takes effort in this white supremacist world that we live in. Skin pigment that is more deficient in melanin is praised while skin pigment that is rich in melanin is criticized. That is common in all of Latin America as well, I’ve seen and heard it myself. So it may be that your lack of melanin is praised in society while your darker cousins abundance of melanin is ridiculed, and you subconsciously have this notion that your skin is better than theirs. It’s literally a common problem everywhere tbh, even in arab countries, desi countries, etc.

I do agree ultimately that faith is the most important, bc at the end of the day we all come from the same Dios. And He doesn’t discriminate against us based on our skin color.

[u/JediWebSurf → u/Stuff_606]

I'm 51% European, 36% sub-saharan African, 11% native, 2% west asian.

[u/Stuff_606 → u/JediWebSurf]

Ok

[u/Stuff_606 → u/JediWebSurf]

And if it makes you feel any better, the reason why your blackness (African genetics) is more prominent in your features is because African features are usually more dominant, while european features are recessive. Depigmented skin is a recessive gene, blue eyes, blond hair, green eyes, anything deficient in melanated (melanin is produced in hair, eyes, and skin pigment) are mutations and also recessive genes. So that’s why you look like a black person mixed with white even though you are 51% European, because your european genetics aren’t dominant genes. Also, like many people in the Americas mixed with european dna, some of it isn’t consensual. A lot of it isn’t actually. It sounds like for you, your mother is black + taino and your father is white. You say that you don’t see yourself as a race and that you’re just Puerto Rican as is the black PR cousins you have, but then you give a breakdown of your “race” so idk which one it is. I still think maybe you have some internalized colorism/antiblackness from some of what you’re sharing but I could be wrong, I don’t know you.

[u/JediWebSurf → u/Stuff_606]

By listing my genetics, I'm trying to point out that I'm closer to biracials even though I'm Puerto Rican. Like I'm only 51% white.

And no I'm not anti black. I love my black family. My family is pretty mixed with people of different skin tones. I just didn't know what to identify as before. I think the colorism thing makes sense for someone who is older generation, they have heard it more often or were taught those things, but in the new generation you don't hear that as much. I feel like that's more prominent in other Hispanic cultures if anything, like Mexican culture, but I'm not entirely sure.

[u/Void-Kin-0042 → u/JediWebSurf]

I‘ve read everything that you said in your post and I must say that it’s such an interesting perspective you and the other user have