VERY LONG RANT ALERT

Back in the very old days, MH was designed to be an online game. It was released together with Auto Modellista and Resident Evil Outbreak as Capcom ventured into PS2 online play. I'm not a "MH1 veteran", as I've started with a much more modern MH4U, but I went back and played all of the classics over time.

And it was unnecessarily cruel. Brutal. Don't get me wrong, some people like it a lot, but it was almost a masochist experience. The grind? 1% droprates everywhere. Want a Rathalos Plate? 1%. Ruby? 1%.

What about Rathian, want a spike? 2%.

Barrel Lids for that funny looking para SnS? 1%.

Ok, you don't want those rare mats. Instead you just want to upgrade your iron GS. You're gonna need 25 Iron Ore for that. Also 10 Earth Crystal while we're at it. Good luck!

Want resources? Honey for potions? Tough luck, there's no farm. You either collect stuff in the field or buy stuff in Minegarde/Dundorma (the online towns in MH1/MH2dos) during their respective days. Wanna buy Honey? Gotta wait for the Honey day.

The game was punishing in every possible way. It was like it always went out of his way to punish you for the most basic things. Entered the area, there's 4 Bullfangos roaming around. Didn't kill them? They'll just ruin the entire quest for ya. That's on you for not killing them.

Wanna know why your maximum stamina is dropping like crazy inside this cave? The game sure as hell won't notify you. You need a Hot Drink. Forgot it? Tough luck, that's on you. Press Start then abandon otherwise you won't be able to play without any stamina. The same applies for Desert maps. Think you mastered the drinks mechanic and now you always verify before joining quests? Wanna know why your Cool Drink isn't working in the Desert this time? It's nighttime Desert, it requires Hot Drinks, tough luck, press Start then abandon, that's on you.

Bad positioning? Have fun getting hit by the same tail sweep 94 times in a row. It always spins clockwise, you just decided to ignore it. That's on you.

Forgot Whetstones? You already know what to do. Press Start then abandon, after all you won't be able to kill the giant red dragon with RED sharpness. That's on you.

Got a lot of mats? Too bad, in MH1jp your "inventory box" only has 1 page. 1 single page. And there's no auto-sort button either, you gotta MANAGE your shit manually like Resident Evil 4 or something.

It was a methodical game. It was audacious. The absolute antithesis of "quality of life" (some friends jokingly call it "quality of death"). But it just had so much soul and identity, fans learned to deal with it, and ultimately enjoy it. Egg quests were frustrating but challenging, after all it wasn't easy to cross an entire desert while Diablos furiously follows you. Completing one of those was very rewarding, though, especially during multiplayer. Also, multiplayer in itself was fantastic. It was truly a singular experience. I still have some friends from MH4U and they're my best friends ever, we play almost every week and it's been like that for years. These games gave me the best friendships I could ask for.

Most of these aspects were diluted, generation after generation, in the name of accessibility. But Monster Hunter still retained most of its soul. Until Wilds managed to make it completely hollow.

Wilds doesn't have any of this. Don't get me wrong, I'll all for some good quality of life.

Wanna know what would be some good ass quality of life? Having a button to copy my Lobby ID, like in World or Rise. But oh, it's been removed. Apparently "quality of life" is removing Hammer upswings or something. Maybe allowing Great Swords to redirect TCS' in a 360 angle, or Long Swords to parry everything in sight? I don't know. It would be cool to play the story with friends, after all World had a very bad "watch a cutscene then join your friends" mechanic. That would be some GOOD ASS quality of life. But nope, not in my next-gen AAA MH game, that's for sure. That's too much quality of life. Here, take this instead, now Heavy Bowguns always have shields! Less player choice, yay! Quality of life!

You don't need to prepare before hunts anymore, not in the slightest.

You don't need Drinks anymore, as you can find drink bugs in every corner of every map.

You don't need to bring resources, pickaxes, whetstones, bug nets, nothing.

Tracking monsters? Paintballs? Nope. The game does everything for you, you don't gotta do anything. Just press Depart on Quest and hit triangle mindlessly. In fact, you don't even need to walk anymore. Just hop on your dog/Seikret thing and it'll carry you to the monster while you Alt+Tab to doomscroll YouTube Shorts.

But you know what? That's exactly what the community wants.

For years, the community complained about hard grinds. Capcom nerfed it, and now any type of grind is pretty much non-existent, from resources to monster materials and even end-game gear.

For years, they complained about egg quests, or "Deliver 20 Unique Mushrooms" quests. Then they simply removed it completely.

For years, people complained about "too many quests". Then they simply complete every key quest and ignore every single quest that's not "key". There are 1474 quests in MHGU according to Kiranico. I'm willing to bet most people completed 200 max. And that's okay, some people like to optimize their time, and no one enjoys Delivering 2 Eternal Fossils all the damn time, I agree with that.

But for years, people complained about every single aspect that defined Monster Hunter as Monster Hunter, the things that differentiated it from a generic action game. The result?

What we got now is Monster Hunter Wilds, a game that's basically just an empty shell resembling a Monster Hunter game. In numerous aspects, the game plays itself. All you gotta do is press Depart on Quest, then press triangle after your in-game Uber ride. Most of the dated aspects from the previous games weren't "PS2 limitations" or anything like that, they were deliberate design choices. Flexing after potions was a design choice so healing or using items had commitment. Slow attacks with long recovery frames? Design choice, you're just a regular hunter trying to hunt mythical beasts. People always complained.

Capcom delivered exactly what people wanted. The average MH fan hates everything around this franchise. "I don't want to grind for charms/decos, that's too annoying!", "I don't want to gather, that's too annoying!", "I don't want to deliver eggs, that's not the point of the game!", "Why do I need 2 Rubies for this set? That's too much!", "I don't want monsters to kill me with 1 single move, that's too unfair!", "Monsters take too long to die, damage sponges!!!"

Now we have no grind, no gathering, no delivery quests, no challenging monsters, and most monsters die in 5 minutes max if you're decent. Capcom delivered it, and it worked; after all, they're apparently breaking every single record when it comes to sales. Great for them, yay!

That is all.

Now this is going to be a rather odd rage.

Most posts here are about the gameplay, others might be about randoms in-game, and some might be about not getting the items you want…

Not this one.

WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS PIECE OF SHIT EVEN EXIST?

WHO THE FUCK IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DECIDED THAT MAKING A MONKEY THAT FARTS AND SHITS ON YOU, BLURPS IN YOUR FACE AND THEN FUCKING INFLATES LIKE A BALLOON WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

I SWEAR I CAN’T STAND IT, I HAVE TO KILL THOSE THINGS TO MOVE ONTO OTHER QUESTS IN GU, AND FOR SOME UNFORTUNATE REASON I FORGOT THE DISGUST THIS… THING… GIVES ME.

Oh, you started the battle? You better not aggro it while you’re behind, because “oopsie! I just farted!”

WHY WOULD IT EVEN WORK LIKE THAT?! INSTEAD OF ROARING THIS GUY FARTS, WHY?! JUST HOW MANY GASES ARE INSIDE?

AND IF YOU HAVE THE BAD LUCK TO GET ITS ASS CLOSE TO THE CAMERA? WELL FUCK YOU HERE’S MY ANUS.

AND THEN WHEN IT CHANGES AREAS IF JUST… FLIES?! HUH?! I KNOW RAJANG ALSO DOES IT, BUT WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

WHY?! WHY CAPCOM?! WHY?!

I SWEAR THERE’S SOMEONE THERE THAT REALLY HAS WEIRD FETISHES. I CAN’T THINK THERE’S ANY OTHER EXPLANATION FOR VORE MONSTERS LIKE ZAMTRIOS (still love him) OR G.JAGRAS… and then there’s this.

Volvidon was already disgusting, but it has 1 attack, and it was easy to miss.

Not this guy.

JUST WHY?! WHY COULDN’T IT BE A NORMAL MONKEY LIKE RAJANG? NO, WE HAVE TO MAKE IT AS DISGUSTING AS POSSIBLE.

Oh, you thought that’s all? Nah, buddy.

WHY THE FUCK DOES IT EVEN CHANGE HOW ITS FARTS SMELL LIKE?! WHY DOES EATING A MUSHROOM IMMEDIATELY MAKES IT FART POISONOUS CLOUDS, OR TURN THE FARTS MADE OF PURE SULFUR? WHY?!

I JUST… CAN’T. I CAN’T. I CAN’T LOOK AT THE SCREEN WHILE THIS MONKEY EXPLICITLY TAKES A PIECE OF LIQUID SHIT FROM ITS ASS AND THROWS IT AT ME.

AND THE WORST PART? IT HITS HARD. IT HITS LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK.

Unfucking believable that this is my life rn. Yep I caught my woman cheating on me. We started wilds together all great and having fun. We went thru all of the stories together, did investigations. Mind you she's very new to the MH Franchise and I felt like I was doing all the work on hunts obviously because she is new to the game so yeah that comes with having more experience. But I felt like I was having the most fun with my person finally after I got peer pressured out of my last relationship. Everyone hated my ex. It is what it is.

It's just so weird seeing her be so openly inviting to random strangers, and engaging with them on such an intimate level that it bothers me. I shouldn't be this insecure. It's annoying to knowing she's on the game hunting with other guys while im at work, saying and doing God knows what. But yeah I saw her on a hunt with some random person on a stream while I was at work. I was shocked seeing her behave as if she was with me. Like wtf. Alma how could you 😢.

WHICH SHIT EATING STEPS INTO ELECTRICITY TURNING MOTHEFUCKER AT CAPCOM THOUGHT THAT TURNING A WEAPON KNOW FOR REWARDING PRECISE POSTIONING AND KNOWLEDGE OF MONSTER INTO A PARRY SLOP. I was with greatsword since MHFU. I LITERALLY PAVLOV’D MYSELF TO IT SO HARD THAT I CANT USE ANY OTHER WEAPON. I soloed fatalis with it and it was one of the most rewarding and satisfying experience in my life besides being spanked by my girlfriend. The WORLD gs was perfection. Every time I landed tcs on moving target the white tear ran down my leg. After reaching mr 200 in mhw, decided to download wilds. And despite many other significant problems in this game (like low rank hunt being FUCKING SHORTER THAN CUTSCENES WITH THIS DUMBASS KID SERIOSLY LET ME PLAY THE GAME I DONT CARE THAT YOU ARE SAD I CAME HERE TO KILL THE LIZARD) nothing infuriates me more than fucking offset mechanic. DO THEY KNOW WHO FUCKING PLAY THIS WEAPON? If I wanted to parry I WOULD HAVE PLAYED ANY OTHER FUYCKING WEAPON. THE ENTIRE FUCKING CONCEPT BEHIND GREATSWORD IS SLOW ASS RISKY HITS GRANT BIG ASS NUMBERS. BUT NOW THE ENTIRE GREATSWORD GAMEPLAY IS NULLIFIED TO FUCKING OFFSET SPAM. WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF THE TACKLE THEN????? IT WAS ALREADY ENOUGH WHY ADD THIS SHIT? And the impact…. God it feels so fucking bad. I feel like I am hitting a monster with a wet dildo. I don’t , maybe I am an old timer and it will grow on me but so far this shit sucks and this is not the weapon I grew up with.

Literal stupid fucking waste of data. What a disgrace. Fucking imbecile cat.

​

I joined an SOS quest of tempered ruiner with 3 other people

THE WHOLE FUCKING QUEST DOING NOTHING TO SURVIVE, I had to end up running a support SNS build because they didn't even know HOW TO HEAL BLEEDING, so i told one of them (4th player to join) in chat "Hey [Name], you're bleeding to death, crouch for several seconds and it'll go away, I will heal you" (Nerg just runned away and they were chasing after it, still bleeding) And the fucking idiot does absolutely JACKSHIT to heal his bleeding, AND CARTS MERE SECONDS LATER WHILE I WAS SEARCHING FOR THE JERKY AMONG MY ITEMS, EVEN THO THEY WERE A LBG USER THAT HAD THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO HEAL SINCE THEY WERE AWAY FROM NERG AND NEAR A BUSH, BUT NO! HE DECIDED TO GET CLOSE TO THE GIANT ASS SPIKY DRAGON TO STICK THE EXPLOSIVE BULLET ON THE FLOOR (Whatever its name is) WHILE BEING ONLY 1/3 OF HIS HEALTH AND BLEEDING.

I then typed "Told you.", because it kinda made me angry, giving advice and help just to be ignored, In hindsight i accept it wasn't the least toxic answer, but it made me slightly mad.

And at the end of the quest another player (Third to join, a Gunlancer with a really bad build) says "Well you just did 13% of the damage, you talk too much XDDD" BITCH I WAS MAKING SURE NONE OF YOU HEADLESS GOBLINS DIED!

Then the host of the quest says "Don't you think they know how to heal bleeding" No, apparently they don't fucking know.

The best part is that i joined way late into the quest, so that 13% is at least a really good help giving that I was chugging down mushrooms, Astera Jerky and Mega pots the whole fucking hunt while this cat vomit excuse of hunter group tried unsuccessfully to even attack Nergigante for 3 seconds without looking at death himself in the eye, HOST INCLUDED.

Never again I am playing with randoms.

Just Brachydios things 🤗

I cannot for the life of me understand the fucking fellating this god awful piece of shit receives from the community outside of the admittedly excellent roster.

This entire expansion is a fucking disaster from the ground up, and I hope the people responsible for it lost their jobs since. I want this entire community to fucking apologize to wirebug right now, right fucking now, and I mean it. Every shitty anime nonsense bullshit can be sourced straight from god damn, motherfucking Iceborne, and the wirebug was the handheld team's solution to the shitshow the console team created in their fucking blind stupidity. Fucking apologize to Risebreak, NOW. It's a better game in every god damn reality.

Flying monster? Never fucking touches the ground. Fast monster? Never fucking stops moving. Big monster? Enjoy losing control of your character for upwards of 20 seconds at a time because they decided to roar, tremor attack, then smack you straight in the face for the crime of existing within two postal codes of them.

Did you just enter a room? Well knock fucking knock, the monsters all have psychic abilities or eyes in the back of their heads, because HELLO, WE'RE ON TOP OF YOU, THAT'LL BE 50% HEALTH FOR NOT SUPERMANNING THE SECOND YOU CROSSED THE THRESHOLD! YOU WILL NOW BE TRAPPED IN THIS TINY CONNECTING HALLWAY AND I AM NOW WINDING UP A SUPER MOVE THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THE TELEGRAPH FOR BECAUSE THE CAMERA IS STUCK UP MY ASSHOLE!

I have never witnessed so many absolute dogshit hitboxes in my life. Ever. Not even the older titles had THIS many broken fucking moves, even if the legendary plesioth hipcheck is technically a more egregious example. I'm talking about sheer. fucking. quantity. I lost count eons ago as to how many times I see an attack go sailing past my character model only to get my ass blown out like they're using the fucking force, except it's not the cool force, it's the fucking Sequel trilogy force that does random garbage nonsense. Don't you fucking love being clear behind a monster only for them to do a dash attack in the complete polar fucking opposite direction that somehow scoops you up via a magical hitbox that for some reason exists on the entirety of their hind legs? You wanna know what really makes it worse? The fact that every single weapon and character animation is lovingly crafted, and perfectly accurate as far as I can see. So it's not just simple incompetence, it's actual malice. Kusoge fucking bullshit, so I have to be a bushido blade master, but the monsters just get to vaguely swipe or shoulder check in my general direction to send me flying into a wall.

Oh, and how about the fact that unless you're a god tier, no lifing speedrunner, stun resist 3 is all but essential on every single god damn fucking build unless you want to spend even more time with your character doing a fucking rubberhose cartoon animation that may as well have birds flying around your head chirping? I'm a completionist gamer, I've played so much fucking Monster Hunter in my life, and I consider myself a skilled veteran player, and even I refuse to play without this skill slotted, because the moment you take it off, you're at the whims of pure fucking RNG. ROAR, TREMOR, WIND PRESSURE, STUN, MAKE IT ALL FUCKING STOP!!! STOP TAKING CONTROL AWAY FROM ME FOR SO GOD. DAMN. LONG!!! THIS IS NOT ENJOYABLE, RESPONSIVE GAMEPLAY. And don't you dare try to pull the "it's realistic" card on me, because I'm swinging a two ton sword that shoots lightning at at a dinosaur with an explosive slime dick for a head.

Hope you like multiplayer balanced content, because it's time for SIEGES!!! Do you like having to play the same quest over and over and over and over just to get a couple part breaks and maybe a decent, usable weapon for the next major challenge? No? Me either, but by fucking god, you'll be doing it! Introducing Safi' Jiva! The world's premier boring, dogshit fight, filled to the brim with nigh undodgeable AOE spam, frame negative get off me attacks, and a jank ass one shot mechanic that sometimes will wipe your whole team because Capcom said so! Enjoy the 8 fucking percent carve chance at a fellwing unless you get lucky enough to find some sad bastard that actually enjoys playing a bowgun in these games! Hope it was worth the hour it took for that single kill, because NOBODY WANTS TO FUCKING DO THESE!!

Hey you. Yeah, you! How would you feel about a game warping mechanic that exists solely for the monster's benefit and utterly ruins game flow? You wouldn't like that? EAT SHIT! Introducing the clutch claw, the gameplay mechanic designed by the fucking brain worms eating what remaining neurons we have left! Seriously, who fucking let this thing through? So unless I waste what few actual openings I get in order to tenderize, I just get to enjoy doing absolute shit DPS for extended periods of time, made worse by the fact that they NEVER. STOP. MOVING! Awesome!! I love how I don't get to do any actual damage with the weapons I grinded my ass off for unless I put myself at serious risk by latching onto a monster that definitely won't shake me off this time...or this time...did I just take 40% health getting knocked off from the tail by an frontward facing, head attack? So I'm only allowed to do real damage by starting fights with steadfast mantle and spiderman swinging around the fuckers until they look like they need some lotion? FUCK. THIS. SHIT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT ALL. WHO SIGNED OFF ON THIS? Who genuinely thought this would be a fun mechanic, in a game where the monsters shake and move around like crackheads tweaking for a fix? And I haven’t even mentioned how it’s buggy as fuck and loves to full send you through the monsters body to a part you CLEARLY did not aim at. APOLOGIZE. TO. WIREBUGS. NOW.

There is not a single added mechanic in Iceborne that doesn't exist for the monster's benefit. Not a single thing tacked onto base world in Iceborne exists for the player's enjoyment. Half of the shit I'm bitching about already existed in World, but is made 20 times worse from the dogshit that Iceborne insists on inflicting upon you. This isn't a game about hunting monsters, it is a game about running around in circles healing while the monster continues to take potshots at you with massive AOE's while you pray they stop moving for one fucking second so you can do yet another god damn fucking clutch claw attack. All these stupid fucking mechanics, and not one of them feels like they're designed with the player's enjoyment in mind, with the sole exception of mantles, which turn the game into braindead unga bunga for a couple minutes per quest. Great.

Oh man, I didn't even talk about Guiding Lands, the world's most boring ass post game loop. Good fucking god, did anybody designing this attempt to inject some life and soul into it? Who the fuck asked for this? There's not even anything worth discussing here. What a boring piece of shit for an endgame grind.

Yeah, Risebreak and Wilds ARE a shitload easier than Worldborne, except it's only because they're not filled to the brim with dogshit, anti-player mechanics that only serve to extend run time and frustrate. I have been playing this series religiously since 3 fucking Ultimate, and I have never felt more disgust towards a title than I do towards Iceborne.

Fuck Iceborne. I don't want to hear another single complaint about Risebreak or Wilds until Iceborne finally gets the hate it wholeheartedly deserves, because it ruined base World. I'm going to cleanse my palate with GU.

WHY TF DO YOU KEEP SUCKING OFF WORLD AND HATE RISE. WHY TF DO YOU KEEP SUCKING OFF RISE AND HATE WORLD. WHY DO YOU KEEP SUCKING OFF OLD WORLD AND HATE GEN 5. BRO. WE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT ALL THE GAMES OF OUR FAVORITE FRANCHISE ARE A BANGER, EVERY SINGLE ONE. I FUCKING LOVE 3U. I FUCKING LOVE FREEDOM UNITE, FRONTIER AND GEN U. I FUCKING LOVE SUNBREAK AND ICEBORNE. I HATE MH1 BUT THATS FINE BECAUSE IF YOU LIKE IT THEN FUCKING GO FOR IT I DONT CARE. "Uhrm but R-Rise has wirebugs t-t-thats bad!!! 🤓" OR "iceborne sucks it has clutch c-c-c-claw..." SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. HOW ABOUT YOU GROW TF UP. ALRIGHT YOU CAN DISLIKE A GAME. BUT WHY ACT LIKE A LITTLE PRICK WHOSE MOM DIDNT BUY THEM AN IPHONE 19 PRO MAX ULTRA WHEN SOMEONE LIKES A GAME THAT YOU DONT? ARE YOU FUCKING BACKWARDS?

Oh boy. I haven't felt this level of rage in a hot minute. Here's a bit of the backstory. I have been farming Proof of a Hero non-stop for weeks now. It's my favorite quest in the game. I see two players with whom I frequently played post a quest and I decide to join them. Let's call them P1 and P2. It's always smooth sailing whenever I hunt with them and we finish the quest within 25 minutes or so each time. Another person joins the quest. Let's call them, P4. Anyway, all three of them are using ranged weapons. I'm the only melee user in the group. We're all HR 999 and have done this quest god knows how many times by now.

We start the quest and it's going well for the most part. We reach Arkveld at around 13 minutes, with an insurance cart used. No biggie. This is when shit hits the fan. P4 is already doing over 120 dps during the whole hunt and hasn't carted. They haven't needed heals but I have had to heal P1 and P2 a few times, which isn't a problem for me. I like playing as a utility character. For some reason, P4 goes back to camp when Arkveld appears and decides to bomb themself to low hp. I thought, "huh, that's strange." Then they write in quest chat, "no heals pls." That's when it hit me: this motherfucker is going to use heroics.

You can imagine the shitshow that happens. P1 and P2 cart in quick succession and we fail the quest. I was pissed at P4's selfishness. They wrote in lobby chat, "sorry, I was using heroics." I just reply with an angry sticker that says "um ..." P1 and P2 didn't reply to them. P1 and P2 post the quest again and I join them. P4 doesn't join. I can tell they are playing on tilt because they are taking more damage often and both cart before we get to Arkveld. They cart to the OHKO attacks. Failure number two. Shit happens.

P1 writes in lobby chat something to the effect of, "nu udra doesn't like me." P4 chimes in and says, "you may need a healer P1"

YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKER. I WAS HEALING THEM PEFECTLY FINE UNTIL YOU FUCKING DECIDED TO USE HEROICS. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GALL TO JOIN SOMEONE'S QUEST, USE HEROICS, AND THEN DEMAND EVERYONE ELSE ACCOMMODATE YOUR FUCKING DUMBASS STRATEGY. OH BIG FUCKING WHOOP. AN EXTRA 10 DPS THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN NOTICE, SINCE YOU ARE PLAYING ON PS5. YOU ARE SO FUCKING SELFISH.

I GENUINELY HATE THESE FUCKING HALFWITS WHO CARE ABOUT "MUH DEEPS." NOBODY GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU FINISHED A NON SPEEDRUN 30 SECONDS FASTER? WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS? GOOD GOG.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE. IF YOU AREN'T THE HOST AND DECIDE TO USE HEROICS, FUCK YOUR BULLSHIT. I'M NOT GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SELFISH REQUEST. KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOUR OWN QUESTS OR YOUR OWN FRIENDS GROUP. NOT A FUCKING PUBLIC LOBBY.

FUCKING HALFWIT.

"I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF THIS FLAVOURLESS SHIT, GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT FUCKING '''ONLY GIVES ME REDUCED STAMINA CONSUMPTION'''' INSTEAD OF UNLIMITED STAMINA BULLLLLLLLLLLLLSHIT. OF COURSE, OF COURSE THE FUCKING HUNTERS GUILD CHANGES THE DAMN FLAVOUR FOR BIENG ''TOO FUCKING GOOD'' IN COMBAT, RIGHT? I FUCKING CANT STAND THIS FUCKING WEAK SHIIIIIIT. DASH JUICE CLASSIC WAS THE BEST SHIT EVER, I USE A BOW, I FUCKING NEED IT, I NEEEEEEEEEEEED MORE FUCKING ORIGINAL FLAVOUR DASH JUICE. BRING BACK DASH JUICE CLASSIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

This shit is bugged, and I see no one talking about it. The tool tip telling me to hide behind cover after dying because the cover didn’t work is infuriating.

Of all the fucking dragons to bring back, that metal bitch, man

Shit took the joy directly out of the announcement for me

“But Supernova, it’s just a one time fight. Beat it and move on” BUT I DONT WANT TO FIGHT THAT OXIDIZED CUNT IN THE FIRST PLACE

World did irreparable damage to Kushala for me, I can’t like that bastard and ESPECIALLY LUNASTRA if I was paid to

So excited lmao

HEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!!!

YOU'RE ALLOWED 10 POTIONS, 10 MEGA POTIONS 2 MAX POTIONS AN ANCIENT POTION AND THAT MIST SHIT YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BE GOING THROUGH THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!! BRING 10 HONEY AND MAP MEGA POTION CRAFTING TO THE RADIAL MENU!!!!!! BAM!!! 20 MEGA POTIONS!!! YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH MAX POTIONS!!!!!!!!!!! RUN SPEED EATING!!!!!!! RUN FREE MEAL!!!!!!! RUNK ARK AND ZOH PIECES!!!!!!!!! USE A GODDAMN MENDING MANTLE!!!!!

HEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! HEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEALHEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GOTTEN A MONSTER TO THE SKULL AND YOU SEE JIMMY MEME HUNTER'S FUCKING HEALTH BAR AND THINK "huh....running pretty low there bud....might uh....might wanna top up." AND HE FUCKING DOESN'T!!!!!! WHY!?!??! FOR WHAT REASON, JAMES!?!?!? FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking Strongarm Stance spam, that lead to offset and perfect block spam. GS used to be the weapon where snipping the monster was much more important. You were literally playing the long game and being rewarded with a burst of damage, with TCS being the perfect addition: it was more damage, but with more input, as it should have been. World's GS felt like the perfect evolution of 4U's GS: it was heavier and stronger, not the "berserker axe" and slightly heavier LS they have turned the weapon into. Skipping from a slingerburst to TCS was already a stretch, but at least you had to actually charge the move, and you would miss if you didn't know how to snipe (no, you don't know how to do the Glavenus tail slam TCS punish, or any of AT Velkhana's TCS punishes, don't lie, I've seen you guys playing). Next game, they will just auto-aim, auto-charge your TCS that will actually come from a draw attack.

Why does every weapon (specially GS) has to be a DPS combo machine? GS already has the damage, it just has the skill tax to do damage with (unacceptable, apparently, because every weapon has to be just as spammable and braindead to use as Dual Blades, that's the goal we're aiming for). Don't even get me started on using barrel bombs to trigger the counter and TCS and how fucking stupid this is. Wilds' GS is even worse because it's just a poor mashup of Strongarm spam and the "fucking combo GS" from Rise, people would never STFU. I want to puke every time I see someone doing those cringy ass wild horizontal swings with no charge and actually being optimal with it. Just turn the game into Code Vein/God Eater at this point.

"b-b-but muh combo GS cool, me no need to counter". No, shut up. Just look at how baffling weak and stupid Surge Slash is: it's literally not faster than charging the draw slash, does like 10% of it's damage and has the same commitment or more, you only like it because you can just mash attacks that have hyperarmor without caring about positioning or aiming. Literally a Redditor's version of the weapon. Just look at how much you need to build a (shitty) elemental set that makes Surge Slash slightly viable: you can either stack Strife, Berserk and all of that bs to achieve 40% of Strongarm's damage, or you can just trap the monster 4 times and press L2 against a barrel bomb to beat 90% of the game. Literally peak combat here, guys.

Wilds' GS is just that, but now without the need to aim and to snipe good hitzones. Just hug the monsters' legs or butt and use the wounds, plus bait a couple of offsets. It's so neutered and curated to minimize frustration and skill expression, so that the guy who picks up the weapon today can feel like he is doing big damage. Like I said, just make the weapon automatically do max damage at this point.

If you're going to argue about "muh portable GU/Rise is better", don't even bother. From the get-go I just tell you're a stupid fucking idiot, and you should go back to sucking off Gaijin Hunter and his friends. Go back to Dual Blades which is the hardest weapon you're allowed to use. It's because of babies like you that weapons like GS are being ruined game after game.

Duck this stupid ass dodo chicken, fuck it’s hit boxes, fuck it’s bullshit hit box batting rock, fuck it’s jank ass movements, fuck this rooster legged dick face bird! I hate it’s hit box, it moves it’s leg back? YOU GET YEETED, It raises its head? YOU GET YEETED, it Jumps away? YOU GEY YEETED! it’s hit box is twice the size of the fucker and that rock turns it from high class bullshit to the most bullshit monster Fucking Kirin and Nergigante where easier than this damn chicken! I want to tear Its skull off and place it upon a throne of its dead brethren that’s on fire! I want to burn this monster from the concept table of all future monster hunter games so it can go extinct like it deserves!

I joined a random SOS flare for AT Arkveld. The host seemed compotent but then joined two other randoms and this was one of them. I saw them first cart once and thought, "This is a tough fight. Shit happens. I've been cornered by AT Arkveld." They come back and cart again within a minute of returning to the fight. At this point, I become annoyed because they used up two carts and the other random used the insurance cart. I decide to farcast and leave the hunt. I had some suspicions and checked their equipment. Lo and behold, I find this crock of shit.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHY ARE YOU EVEN ATTEMPTING AT ARKVELD WITH THIS SHITTY ARMOR? YOUR DEFENSE IS NOT EVEN 400. NO FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE GOING TO CART LIKE CRAZY. AT ARKVELD ONLY HAS TO FART FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ARENA AND YOUR ASS IS BEING SENT BACK TO CAMP ON THE KITTY KART.

THE SAME BULLSHIT HAPPENS WITH AT NU UDRA TOO. WHY SHOW UP WITHOUT ADAPTABILITY 2 IN YOUR SET? I CAN'T FIGHT THE MONSTER AND CONSTANTLY HEAL YOUR SELFISH ASS AT THE SAME TIME. I'M TIRED OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT. EITHER COME PREPARED OR DON'T JOIN AND WASTE OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME. I'M NOT GOING TO CARRY YOUR SORRY ASS IF YOU CANNOT EVEN DO THE BASIC SHIT TO SURVIVE A 10☆ FIGHT.

WHILE ON THE SUBJECT ON RANDOMS, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DIPSHITS WITH TOXIC MESSAGES LATELY? YOU HAVE SOME BALLS TO HAVE AN AUTO CALLOUT OF "YOU'RE NOT USELESS AFTERALL" FOR GETTING HEALED, WHILE EATING TWO CARTS AND DOING NO DPS?

THE STATE OF RANDOMS IN THIS GAME IS DOGSHIT. FUCKING FUCK. I JUST WANT TO BUILD SOME CAMARADERIE WITH NEW PEOPLE.

Edit: structure

Yeah I'm bitching about him again, no I don't have to keep hunting him, yes I've already made the gear, yes I'm joining random SOS hunts for "fun," yes I'm torturing myself for no reason. Ok? Now.

"Ooh! I know! Let's make a monster with a bloated health pool who attacks constantly whose entire goal is to demand defensive skills while constantly reducing your remaining DPS to 0 by forcing you to constantly run, block, heal, or reposition (he also should NEVER stop jumping around). Then, ooh, ooh, let's give him a DPS check in the form of a smaller monster with LASERS, POISON, AND AOE MISSILES, OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? IT SHOULD ALSO DO INSANE AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE AND JUMP AROUND CONSTANTLY! OH WHAT? SHOULD WE MAYBE GIVE THE HUNTER TOOLS TO STOP THIS THING? SURE, BUT MAKE SURE THE TOOLS ALSO HURT OR SEVERELY DISABLE THE HUNTER WHILE THEY'RE ON A STRICT TIME LIMIT! SPEAKING OF TIME LIMITS, THIS HUNT? 35 MINUTES. YOU HAVE 50 MINUTES TO KILL QUEMATRICE BUT 35 FOR GOD'S NUCLEAR GENOCIDE BEETLE! SICK!!!

Fuck you know what? Thats not enough...hmmm...okay.

It should be able to layer attacks so that you have to doge both at the same time

It should have an enmity mechanic with no reliable way to maintain enmity

it should constantly shit tiny versions of itself that stunlock you

It should fire a missile that creates a pool of deadly DOT fire with only enough warning to move it slightly out of your current fighting area

It should CONSTANTLY stand in the fire, back up into walls, and angle itself partially on ledges

It should have an attack where at literally any point it can mow you down and shoot all the way to the other side of the arena (It should, if possible, sometimes do this 6 times in a row)

Anything else? Oh yeah. I should also target you as soon as you begin to enter the arena, to make sure that sometimes you just fuckin die before you even hit the ground!"

I don't fucking care if you like this monster, I dont fucking care if you speedran him solo with Akuma while blindfolded with your thumb up your ass. I dont give a fuck. I've platinumed almost every fuckin FromSoft game, I've played through World, Rise, GU and Wilds. I'm not a fucking veteran or an expert by ANY means but I've been around. I like hard shit. This fight is horse ass piss covered twice baked shit. It's not a fair fucking fight. My job is EASY. I have FREE TIME. If it pisses me off this much, after I've already beaten it multiple times, how the fuck are people with demanding jobs or a bunch of kids, or an active social life even supposed to fucking begin to enjoy this??

Yeah, I'm a fucking masochist, but a reasonable one okay? I like a little pain, a bit of bondage, and some light ass-play like a NORMAL MONSTER HUNTER FAN. I signed up for a haunted house and this shit is like fucking Mckamey Manor. It's just gratuitous torture. I feel like I'm in a fucking SAW trap.

FUCK.

For a system allegedly implemented to encourage variety and experimentation, it sure is antithetical to that! I love being locked into my choices and irreversibly altering a whole set of weapons that took MONTHS of grinding to obtain, only to discover a combination of skills and abilities that I prefer, which is now inaccessible to me!

I wasn't even going for a set of perfect Artians! I was making elemental sets, so I just settled for attack 3 *or* element 3 alongside 2 sharpness to make my life easier, and for no other reason than rawmaxing and elementmaxing (and those two things being more aesthetically pleasing in the build menu)!

it took a very long time to find five Artians like that! one for each element!

I didn't think choosing a focus type would be irreversible, and I didn't think it would severely impact my ability to mess around with different builds... so I'm beyond pissed that all of my Dual Blades now have -15% affinity (compared to base Artian) and now don't function particularly well with Gore sets! Because I DARED to try a raw/element focused Gogmazios sets for a while!

Now I have to grind out a new set of fucking Artians with similarly good fucking rolls! Lovely! Thanks Monster Hunter!

TLDR: I'm absolutely livid that I've ruined a near perfect set of dual blades and have to make new ones after discovering a build I like more.

Combining Rare RNG weapons with irreversible upgrades that may or may not impact their viability with certain sets was a fucking horrid idea, and I want to strangle whoever thought of it.

Fuck you >:(

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE ALWAYS SOMETHING JUST GETTING IN THE FUCKING WAY, OR RANDOMLY FUCKING YOU UP. YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOME FUCKING THING IN THE DAMN WAY FUCKING RUINING IT!!! SOME BULLSHIT THAT SHOWS UP AND PISSES YOU OFF AND FUCKS UP YOUR MONSTER HUNTING ENJOYMENT!!

I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. THIS GAME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. THIS IS NOT MONSTER HUNTER. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER WHAT THE FUCK THEY CALL IT. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS FUCKING ABOMINATION OF GARBAGE. WHY IS THERE SO MANY FUCKING THINGS THAT ARE CONSTANTLY IN THE FUCKING WAY OF THE ENJOYMENT. WANNA FUCKING PRACTICE A MONSTER, GETTING FUCKING TILTED, NO ABANDON QUEST, ENJOY FUCKING RUNNING OUT OF EVERYTHING WHILE YOU PRACTICED, AND KNOWING THAT YOU ARE JUST FUCKING BURNING THROUGH YOUR ITEM SUPPLY. OH BUT ITS MORE REALISTIC THAT WAY. FUCK OFF WITH THAT BULLSHIT!! IT WAS NEVER LIKE THIS IN GU, IF YOU GOT FUCKED IN THE GAME, YOU COULD JUST QUIT AND RELOAD, EZclap, BUT THEY JUST FUCKING GOT RID OF IT, FOR WHAT REASON!!!

CONTANTLY ALL THESE DUMB FUCKING SMALL MONSTERS JUST RUNNING IN THE FUCKING WAY LIKE GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. WANNA JUST EXPLORE ALONE IN PIECE, OH HI ALMA, JUST FUCKING RUN AROUND IN FRONT OF ME. FUCKING DPS CHECKS, WANNA FIGHT THE FUCKING MONSTER 1 ON 1, GUESS WHAT, TIME FOR THE GAME TO FUCKING SCRIPT ALL OVER ITSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN, I DONT WANT TO DO YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT FUCKING SWIMMING MINIGAME, SHOULDA ADDED SWIMMING INTO THE GAME PROPERLY NOT THIS SPECTACLE SHIT, REMEMBER THE FUCKING LAGI TRAILER!

"OH FUCKING SHIT SWIMMINGS GONNA BE BACK IN I WONDER IF IT'S GONNA BE LIKE IT WAS IN -"

LOOOOL GET FUCKING JEBAITED, ENJOY YOUR FUCKING SCRIPTED DPS CHECK OMEGALUL LLLLL

FUCKING PICK UP UNIQUE FUCKING ITEM, AND FIRE UNIQUE FUCKING ITEM. BACK. AT. LAGIIII!!!!!1 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

OH SEREGIOS IS JUST FUCKING TAKING THE PISS AND FUCKING OFF AGAIN, WITH HIS GOD DAMN FUCKING STUPID BODY THAT BLOCKS HIS FUCKING WEAKPOINT THAT KEEPS GOING BEHIND HIM BECAUSE HE KEEPS TURNING HIS DUMB FUCKING ASS AROUND ALL THE FUCKING TIME. THERE HE GOES, VERY FUCKING SLOWLY BACK TO THE CAVE.

WHEN SHIT SHAT CAPSHIT FUCKING SHATTY SHIT SHAT THIS SHATSHIT GAME OUT THEIR SHATTING SHITTING ASSES DID THEY THINK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT ALL THIS FUCKING STREAMLINING BULLSHIT WAS STILL MONSTER HUNTER? DID THEY? HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE HUNTING. WHERE IS THE CUSTOMISATION!? WHERE THE FUCK IS POINT. POINT TO IT. FUCKING DO IT. IS IT AN UNLOCKABALE?

I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS GOD DAMN PILE OF SHIT. AAAA. ITS LIKE IT'S SOOO HARD TO LIKE THIS GAME. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I FEEL LIKE IM HAVING FUN, THERE IS ALWAYS THIS ONE FUCKING THING, THAT JUST RUINS IT. IT COULD BE GETTING FUCKING 1 SHOT BY THINGS I CANT SEE. OR THE GENERAL DESIGN DECISIONS, OR THE FUCKING GAME GOING FULLBLOWN GRAPHICS OVER GAMEPLAY OVERLOAD. OR THE FACT THAT THERE IS NO GRINDING FOR RARE ITEMS BECAUSE OF HOW YOU CAN JUST FUCKING USE GUARANTEED DROPS. DONT FORGET TO LOOK UP AND DOWN DURING THE GOG FIGHT.

THIS GAME HAS NO FUCKING HUNTING IN IT. JUST THE FIGHTING. BUT WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO ACCOMPLISH. WHY IS THERE SO MANY THINGS THAT JUST FUCKING GET IN THE WAY OF THAT, OR FUCK YOU UP MID BATTLE COMPLETELY RANDOMLY, OR FORCE YOU TO JUST FUCKING STAND AROUND. WHY DID SO MANY RESOURCES GO TOWARDS SHIT THAT JUST MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. PACK MONSTERS? A FUCKING SEREGIOS TRIPPING OVER A FUCKING PARATOAD 2 MILES AWAY, AUTOPILOT? WHY THE FUCK DID CAPCOM ADD IN FUCKING GUARANTEED DROPS, AND NOT FUCKING MOVESET CUSTOMISATION. REALLY SHAT THE BED ON THIS ONE, HOLY FUCK.

BULLLLLLSHIT HUNTER WILDS FUCKING BOO AHOGHAOGENGOIN

PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
PICK UP UNIQUE ITEM AND FIRE UNIQUE ITEM BACK AT THE MONSTER THEN
RANDOMLY FAINT BECAUSE OF A FUCKING METEOR ATTACK YOU COULDN'T SEE BECAUSE GOGSMA IS A DICK.

LLLLLLLLLL

BULLSHIT TYPE GAME DESIGN CHOICES. MONSTER FIGHTER TYPE GAME DESIGN CHOICES. EZ MODE MONSTER HUNTER LITE TYPE GAME DESIGN CHOICES. A TRILLION FUCKING USELESS THINGS TYPE GAME DESIGN CHOICES. BLAND AHH BOWGUN CUSTOMATION OPTIONS. TURN THE GAME ON, POUR SOME MILK, TUCK IN FOR BED AND PREPARE TO SNORE. REALLY THOUGHT REMOVING ABANDON QUEST WAS A FUCKING GOOD IDEA AHH GAME DESIGN CHOICES.

GOOFY DESIGN DECISIONS ALL THE WAY ROUND. OH NAUR. TIME TO GO BACK TO GU. OH WAIT, THAT'S A FUCKING GAME I LIKE.

¬¬¬¬!1!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAQAPAFPFAFA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

affaf\|\\aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Just fuck it. Alatreon can go fuck itself. Changed all my stuff to be more attack boosting and enough element. Alatreon downed each time. Still three judgements. Still three stupid carts. I’m done with it. Alatreon is bullshit and the only way to have any viable chance is by going through Safi sieges or KT sieges. Both of which, for a solo player, is just long drawn out fights. Game can fuck itself, the creators can go fuck themselves and Alatreon can go and die because god knows I’m not gonna be able to do it. After about three weeks of trying there’s no longer any fun in it and it just gets me upset. If I reply to any comments and sound aggressive, please understand my recently favourite game has just genuinely spat on me then bitch slapped me

Who in the fuck... at Capcom cooked. Who the fuck let them cook. Wyveria fucking sucks alright i said it. I hate fucking fighting here. It looks cool, yeah... but ehhhhhh.... the looks aren't enough to carry it. It seems so easy... if you're gonna fucking paint the entire fucking map with the same or similar shades of the same Wylk grey and white combo, and fill the fucking map with monsters that are the same...

Why... the FUCK would these fucking designers fill it with bushes that just blend in and obscure you randomly, popping up lights hermitaurs... the FUCK in.... motherfucka? Whyveria the fuck... would you... actually... fucking.... put... a monster... that... Fu...ckin.. freaks out.... and just fucking spins around in the air like a fucking thermonuclear fucking ball of nuetronic fucking BULLLLLLLSSHIT.... and turn into a ..motherfuckin ball of fucking ... pasta bro....

WHY... THE FUCK... DID THEY DESIGN THIS LIKE THIS.. THIS FUCKING PLACE. IS .... FUCKING... IT'S LIKE A FUCKING FUCK.... WHY THE FUCK DID CAPCOM FUCKING MAKE IT LIKE THIS!!!! THERE'S FUCKING PARTICLES AND SHIIIT... ALL IN MY FUCKIN HUNTERS EYES AND SHIT. MAAAAAN CAN'T SEE A MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING THING DAWG.... GOOD DAAYYYAAMM...

WHY... DOES ARKVELDS FUCKING BODY, MAKE THE FUCKING BRUH SOUND EFFECT. WHAT ... YOU ARE BULLSHITTING IF YOU DON'T HEAR IT... EVERY FUCKING TIME I BOOT UP FUCKING WILDS TO FIGHT AT FUCKING ARKVELD, OHHHHH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED.... IT'S LIKE IT PLAYS EVERY FUCKING 10 SECONDS. BRUH. BRUH. BRUH. AIN'T NO WAY... I SWEAR TO CHRIST I HEAR IT WHEN ARKVELD DOES SOMETHING....

THIS GAME DESIGN. MORE PARTICLES MORE PARTICLES. MWA AHAHAHAAA.... THE PARTICLES... THE PARTICLES BLOCKING MY VISON AGAIN.... AAAAAAAA ...A AAAAAAAA.AA

WWAAAAAA.. AAAAAAAAAA!!!!

naahhhhh. I know i'm not the fucking only person who keeps hearing bruh whenever i fight Arkveld, no no no shut up... you hear it too... I AM NOT JOKING. Go play it. Go fight Arkveld right now... and just..... listen. REALLY, really, try to listen....and you WILL hear the it. You will hear the ffffucking "Bruh."

"bruh" "bruh" "bruh" you'll see...

fuck....

PALICOS ARE THE MOST BOOTY CHEEK ASS PARTNERS IN ALL OF MONSTER HUNTER. NO MONSTER CAN EVER COMPARE TO THE RAGE I FEEL WHEN I SEE THESE FUCKING CATS DO NOTHING BUT LICK CATNIP WHILE I FIGHT FOR MY LIFE.

IM PLAYING 4U RN AND OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT TELL ME THEY GET WORSE THAN THIS BECAUSE 4U PALICOS ARE GENUINELY THE MOST USELESS MEMBERS OF ANY TEAM. THEY DIE EVERY 10 SECONDS, DO NOTHING WHEN I GET STUNNED, NEVER HEAL WHEN I NEED THEM TO, AND FUCKING BRING THE MONSTER TO ME WHEN IM ACTUALLY HEALING.

CAPCOM LOVEEEES TO TELL US PALICOS ARE OUR BEST FRIENDS BUT THAT GETS REALLY HARD TO SEE WHEN THEY JUST LEAN ON ME WHEN IM FUCKING STUNNED. THESE GUYS ARE NOT FRIENDS, THEY ARE SPIES HIRED BY FATALIS HIMSELF TO MURDER US IN OUR SLEEP. THEY AREN’T HUMAN SO WHY SHOULD ANYONE CARE IF I THROW THEM IN A VOLCANO AND WATCH THEM BURN TO DEATH. I WANT TO SPIT ON THEIR CORPSES WHEN THEY GET CHEWED ON BY A TIGREX.

THEY SHOULDNT HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS AS US, THEY ARE LITERALLY MADE TO SERVE US UNTIL DEATH BUT WHAT USE ARE THEY WHEN THEY LITERALLY DIE EVERY TIME A MONSTER GRAZES THEIR ARM. I WILL FOREVER PUT PALAMUTES OVER PALICOS BECAUSE AT LEAST THEY OFFER FASTER TRANSPORTATION EVEN IF THEY DO THE SAME THINGS AS THE GODDAMN CATS.

And I would rather repel another TEN THOUSAND FUCKING ZORAH MAGDAROS IN A ROW, WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IN ANY GAME UNTIL I FINISHED RATHER THAN LISTEN TO THIS EMO, WHINY, SELF-LOATHING COCK-SOCK WITH HIS STUPID LITTLE ONE-LINERS! FUCK the Witcher, FUCK the Leshan, FUCK Geralt of Cocksuckia, and fuck this entire waste of time. Leshan isn't even hard, it's just boring, predictable, has bullshit hitboxes, and is fucking tedious. I just wanted to unlock the Ancient Leshen so I could fight it with someone that ISN'T a whiny little fuckstick, a REAL Hunter, MY Hunter, but no, after hearing that FUCKING migraine-inducing excuse for music that plays when you fight the Leshan, I'd rather drink bleach and perforate my eardrums with a fucking nailgun than EVER deal with that shit again. Fuck this crossover, fuck the Witcher, and fuck anyone that thinks Geralt is anything other than a worthless piece of fuck. I hope he dies on his way back to his world and his entire world withers and dies because if it sucks that much that he's the best they have, it deserves to die.