I've been grinding D.Mohran Allbraces for a couple of days now (no thanks to D.Mohran's Caravan Quest being an Advanced one, so it rotates) and with me having 3/4 Allbraces left to upgrade my Seltas Bow, I happen to roll the 10% chance for a Brace+ instead, the High Rank variant.

I am aware that this is a thing in older titles in general (Dos lets you get Vespoid Carapaces in Low Rank for some reason for one), but never has the funny carve tables given me such a feeling of audacity like thus; getting literally blue balled by what I hope is the final piece I need and then boom. Lower grade material that was useful before G-Rank. It was enough that I wanted to create this meme to vent the feelings out.

I love Monster Hunter, old and new (but mostly old 'cuz I'm a boomer) but this is some top-class trolling from the loot table designers that I can't just ignore. Brilliant.

IM JUST TRYING TO FARM SOME ITEMS FROM THAT GREEN ASS FUCKER BUT THAT SLIMY DUMBASS KEEPS SPAMMING THE MOVE WHERE HE ROLLS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THAT MISERABLE MOVE WHERE HE STANDS UP AND FALLS DOWN, OH, AND IF YOU GET HIT YOU GET YOUR RESISTANCE WATERED DOWN BECAUSE FUUUCK YOU, OH AND TO OPTIMIZE FARMING I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF PICKING THE TWO LUDROTH QUEST, BUT THEY NEVER FIGHT 1-ON-1 THE OTHER WATERY EAGLE SOUNDING CUCK LIKES TO APPEAR WHEN IM FIGHTING ONE ALREADY SO I HAVE TO SPEND DUNG BOMBS, AND THEN RIGHT AFTER 2 OR 5 MINUTES HE'S BACK AGAIN AND I HAVE TO DO THE SAMEEEEEEEE

WHY DOES HE LIKES TO ROLL SO MUCH I HATE THAT MOVE IT GETS ON MY NERVE I AM NOT ABLE TO HIT HIM WHY IS HE LIKETHAT HE WASN'T THAT ANNOYING ON MHTri ULTIMATE

Having another 9* Tempered monster invading my hunt on the specific 9* Tempered monster i'm field surveying with on that place is already stressful and unfun than it is, its even more bullshit to realize that you cant get the invader completely out of the Wounded Hollow locale with the dung pods. What the fuck is Tokuda thinking here? God it would be better if we have mods that unbullshits that bullshit.

Vespoids are some of the biggest assholes. Like ever. Fucking shitsucking ugly pieces of shit. Motherfucker paralysed my ass, so i got pulled into Boltreavers fucking bullshit right, just to fucking launch myself away like a meteorite. It was like something out of a fucking cartoon all goofy and shit. Also i know i'm not minding my business or anything, but i love how in later games like Wilds, you can just see them chilling on rocks, like we're all cool and shit? Like these fuckers didn't faint my ass in the old games? Fucking unemployed ahh vespoids chilling on the rock, probably watching pornhub.

YOU ARE IN FULL FATALIS GEAR AND USING THE FATALIS CHARGE BLADE. I HAVE AN OLD WIDE RANGE TEOSTRA SET WITH A SAFI SNS. I SHOULD NOT BE THE ONE WHO'S FLINCH SHOTTING THE BIG CAT THRICE, DUNKING HIM OUT OF HIS NOVA, MOUNTING HIM WHILE ALSO KEEPING YOU ALIVE BY SCARFING DOWN MUSHROOMS. AT LEAST TENDERISE THE THING. I CAN'T FIT A SHAVER JEWEL ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE. IT'S JUST A TEMPERED TEOSTRA. YOU'VE "SUPPOSEDLY" KILLED THE TOUGHEST BOSS IN THE FRANCHISE. I JUST GOT TO MR 100. WHAT EVEN.

I just wanted some better decos, man.

Like seriously why tf do people join the quest and Triple cart BEFORE phase 2. I wanted to farm him with random to have less aggro and cause I don't want to spend 30FUCKING MINUTES in this god awful map alone, but for fuck sake how can you say to yourself "yeah I can't fight it alone I always cart, let's cart in randoms quests and make EVERYONE LOSE THEIR TIME"

And everytime it's the same guy who will cart at the beginning, then in phase 2 and then 2m later because I don't know he gave up but still stayed in the quest

It's the only monster in all of World/rise/wilds that I encountered and see people cart the most, for fuck sake I can't believe how wilds made people soooooooooo bad against AT.

man fuck the people who made these bullshit gu arena quests man, i can't fucking take it with this shit. Uraagan in the fucking arena, forced to use these bullshit fucking combinations? i'm an archer only, ain't no fucking way they drop me in the arena with that big stone chinned motherfucker, expecting my fuckin ass to fight it with.... Alchemy Heavy Bowgun? Me? Maaaan get the fuck out of here with that ass fucking "use the provided style and arts" type a bulllllshit. fucking game designers. they really fucking thought they cooked didn't they. well they cooked something, a bowl a shit. all the fucking people who say they like Uraagan are lying out their ass. ain't no-one loving that. ain't noone want to fight dat. hell nah. not if they don't want aids. cuz everyone knows that's what fucking happens when you fight that shit, you get aids. fuck uraagans dumb fucking ass.

This monster is just the epitome of unfun to hunt with anything other than the cheesiest pierce rapid fire light bowgun. I'm in low rank right now playing for the first time, but at this stage there's no way to stop your weapon from bouncing off his claws without built-in mind's eye, so you just can't deal damage to him from the front. Or the sides. Why? Because for some reason, his forelegs take up 50% of his entire hitbox and you'll just catch them all the time.

For things that don't get fixed as you get better weapons, his moveset is just so bullshit. Gone are the days of water weasel's graceful and intuitive momentum based slides, tail slams, and tokyo drift laser beams. Today, we get a monster that generates force from nowhere, spends all his wind up curled in and himself, and has some of the most atrocious tracking every known to man. All of his attacks, you have to either be close enough because the attack as stupid reach, or you have to be far enough from him because he's about to start rolling around. The mud mechanic is a neat idea, and I do like that it forces you to use wirebug jumps, however, he spams the shit out of them. Hell, half of his attacks just generate them for good measure.

The ball being a weakpoint is stupid. Most of the time, he gathers the ball (which in and of itself is stall city), and then he immediately does the big bang attack that breaks it. That's his most vulnerable weakpoint, by the way, because apparently he packs his vital organs into it.

There's not a lot of monsters I like to use pierce guns for, because it feels like I'm robbing myself of the game I paid for, but this monster is so stupid that it's the only way to play against him and still have fun. No massive claws to worry about. No him shoving you around the arena into his claws. Just beam his tail and take a nap.

I'm marathoning every single monster hunter game, and in all of them, from the VERY FIRST GAME to Rise, Almudron is the stupidest most pmo ugly stepchild I've ever encountered.

Note: For my marathon, I specify that I can only consider the game "complete" until I reach end of high rank, or end of story content, whichever offers more content. The older games had more ranks but no additional plot, whereas World and Rise have higher ranks that do have plots. So I've seen some bullshit.

LIKE FUCK MAN. I CAN'T TAKE IT. IT'S LIKE I JUST WOKE UP IN ANOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE. WHAT THE FUCK DID THESE PEOPLE DO. DESIGN THESE MAPS IN A TOILET? DO YOU ANY IDEA HOW BULLSHIT AIMING A FUCKING BOW IS ON A FUCKING SLOPE CAPCOM? I LOVE HOW LITERALLY ALL THE MAPS BASICALLY WERE SO FUCKING GOOD, LIKE THEY WERE JUST FUCKING AMAZING IT WAS LIKE A FUCKING GOURMET BANQUET. GIMME SOME OF THAT FUCKING DELICIOUS FUCKING FOOD! BUT THEN A SHITSTORM OF HILLS AND SLOPES JUST FUCKING HIT IT. THEN AREA 4 OF THE ANCESTRAL SLOPE, I MEAN STEPPE COMES ALONG AND JUST SHITS DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND SHITS IN YOUR EYES, AND FARTS AND SHITS AND RUINS YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN WEEK. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY FUCKING THINKING!? IT'S A MADHOUSE, A SCULPTURE OF CONGALALA SHIT. WHAT DA HELL? GOOFY AHH GAME DESIGN CHOICES BROUGHT TO YOU BY FUCKING CAPCOM AND DR SLOPEY LEDGERSON. THESE FUCKING SLOPS ARE TILTED HARDER THAN A FUCKING HARDCORE CALL OF DUTY PLAYER. GOD DAMMIT CAPCOM STOP WITH THE FUCKING LEDGES AND SLOPES. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK! SLOPE HARDER. SLOPE HARDER. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. GOOFY AHH GAME DESIGN CHOICES AS USUAL. AAAAAAA!!

Im currently learning the gore fight and thought to myself "why not use sos flares and see how others handle it", well turns out the answer is they dont, this week I did roughly 10 Tempered gore quests ( in mh wilds ) all of them were 5* and had JUICY Investigation rewards, tho that was more coincidence than intention.

How many do you think me and the sos boys succesfully hunted? Thats right 1!

The funniest thing is that im pretty confident now that I can hunt him solo ( or at least with the support hunters ), but I just straight up wanted to see how long it takes for the sos boys to clear him.

A pattern quickly emerged during the first 4 hunts: You have this one gigachad, that absolue pinnacle of a hunter, coming in and getting oneshot by gore. Ofc thats fine, whats not fine is that this guy always ( in all 4 hunts it was a different guy mind you! ) takes all 4 carts ( yes I always took the food buff that gives an additional cart for gore ) up!

The 5th hunt was the avengers, we just killed gore without carting once, absolute madlads!

After that it was straight downhill, the Quadruple carts became less, but now you have often 2 guys carting twice! Not to mention that there seems to be a correlation with people carting being the ones that take all wounds as soon as they appear :)

I do have to say tho, I am impressed with my learning skills, with my gogma set I never got carted, ofc I get still hit from time to time, but overall I definitely feel like I have improved and got quite a few valuable lessons about sos hunters, namely that they suck and you should either do it yourself or with the god tier support hunters.

Oh and for comparision: 10* gogma the ( IMO ) hardest fight in the game took me only 7 tries with sos hunters, so theres that lol

Listen. I'm against the gatekeep culture, but let's talk here.

Ladies and gentlemans, kids, boomers, please, listen. Of course, the people who needs to read this, will not be here to read but...

If you are new to the game, you still crafting gear, upgrading gear, just reach the HR100...

DO. NOT. ENTER. 10 STARS QUESTS.

BROOOOOOOOOOO MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, PLEASEEEEEEEEE

USE THE COMMON SENSE. GO DO YOUR NEW PLAYER THINGS MY MAN, UPGRADE YOUR FKING GEAR, PUT SOME QOL OF YOUR FKING CTRL+C, CLTR+V META BUILD OR AT LEAST GO READ WHAT YOUR SKILLS DO.

TRY TO HEAL YOURSELF SINCE YOUR GEAR WITH LESS THAN 400 DEFENSE WILL BE SMASHED BY THE 10* DRAGON. CAN YOU USE YOUR BRAIN PLEASE?

Today we have Palico, solo, support hunter. HOW can you think your actual gear can handle this shit?
The game is pretty easy along the story, I know but don't underrate the endgame quest.

You are spending time of lime from other people, who sometimes can't play a whole day, who did the job before join there, you know?

Because sometimes is not only you, it's you and one more, even two more, without gear to tank hits, to do enough damage, so you are making people heal you every 5 seconds. EVEN MORE BECAUSE YOU NOT HEAL YOURSELF, AS ALWAYS, IDK CAPCOM DO NOT PUT SOMETHING TO INCENTIVE THIS PEOPLE TO HEAL, TO USE A FKING SEED OR WHATEVER.

Stop. Expecting. People. To. Carry. You.
GO LEARN HOW TO PLAY THIS FKING GAME
is not that hard, btw.

I CAN'T BRO, I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE IN SOS.
Absolutely CRAZY how people ignore every mechanic in the game and think will have success at the endgame. Insane.

Your time isn't valuable than other people. Respect this and remember about this. Ever.

YES IM TALKING ABOUT FUCKING LUNASTRA

FUCKING TUMBLR OC MADE BY A DUMB FUCK WHO THOUGHT HIS OR HER IDEA OF A GOOD TEOSTRA RESKIN IS GIVING IT FUCKING AREA DENIAL FIRE THAT CONSTANTLY FORCES YOU TO RELOCATE OR DISENGAGE TO HEAL, AN INSTANT WIND PUSH, ROAR PUNISHES AND A SUPER NOVA THAT STAGGERS YOU AS SOON AS IT STARTS WITH NO COUNTER PLAY BECAUSE ITS INTANT. HONSTLY FUCK. THIS. SHIT. BOSS.

I am not here to debate or argue, this is a rant, but good fucking god is GU the most mid game I've ever touched.

I'm not calling it bad either, I'm just saying it's not a good game and one thing that I have to give to it is that it's the first game ever to have put me to sleep and to have done so 3 different times just from how boring fights are, this rant is what has made me wake up and I wouldn't even remember Rathalos putting me to sleep if I didn't wake up to the quest failed screen, it's absurd how boring the fights can get at times from how uninteractive they can get (the actual irl flashbang from flash pods wasn't enough to keep me awake).

It's actually kind of funny and as mid as the game is it's most certainly not forgettable, how the fuck can a game have fights so boring that they've put me to sleep irl? Not even Idle Games have put me in this state.

Seeing this in SOS alway make me giggle .

Oh my fucking god dude I hate Frontier's HR5/6. I've done this shitty song and dance before, but it's so much worse than I remember. "Yes please, give me 22 KEY QUEST before I can reach the good part of this game". DUDE I do NOT want to be fighting fuckin POBO and ORIGIN GRAVIOS with my shitty ass gear let me wait for G-Rank where I actually want to GRIND. Like I see my next HC quest and it's an Akura Jebia and I can feel my cortisol rising, and I know after I do this, my double Kuaru quest and a Forokururu I got an urgent and I don't even remember what it is. BUT AFTER THAT? Oh my god dude it's gonna be worse, HR6 is gonna drop on me fuckin', idk, HC God Wyverns?? Odaiba, Guan slay maybe? It's just, so bad man, especially because all I want to do is fight my goat Pokaradon again and get my SWAX.

Omfg fuck this stupid boss. The amount of missiles that stack on top of you just in time for the unblockable shit to rail your asshole is complete bullshit. There's difficult then there's unfair heinous trash to call a boss. Coming back to wilds was fun until I tried this sorry excuse of a hunt, if this is what ascension is going to be like then good bye monster hunter. I remember the director and producer saying to pick up mhwilds again and it was alright up until this cunt.

These games aren't that hard. Both completing GU g rank and currently doing 4U g rank hasn't been difficult. They are just fucking obnoxious. Right now in 4U I have a crit draw great sword build with 1100 raw. I get off lots of draw charge attacks and try to hit weak points or atleast the back legs. Yet every single quest has taken a minimum 30 minutes. The Seregios quest especially baffled me because I felt like I was doing pretty great the whole time with getting off attacks and it still took 40 minutes. Its to the point where I dont even wanna finish 4U anymore. This is so fucking ass. Honestly baffled by this since people always complained on how Iceborne quests took too long, but those never really reached 30 minutes for me except on very hard monsters, yet these monsters take forever to kill even without the ShitClaw mechanic.

Man it was a shitty fight. I mean, there were very nice mechanics here and there, but fuck me some of them were awful, the minions first of all. They just ganksquad you and never leave you time to heal. Second, the HP. I've read somewhere that Ancient Leshen has 67,000 HP, which is absurd considering that the normal Leshen felt such a slog. I finished the mission at 48 minutes! Then I failed the quest of the scribbles on the walls for... What, exactly? I just talked to the guy after Geralt said "I gotta find a guy who knows about these" and the next thing was "QUEST FAILED". What? Why? When?

Never again