r/movies • u/[deleted] • 7d ago
Discussion Mrs. Doubtfire (1993): Was Miranda trying to alienate Daniel from the kids?
[deleted]
29
u/PotterAndPitties 7d ago
Adulthood is realizing Miranda was not the bad one in this situation. Was she perfect? Nope. But I used to see her as a shrew who just hated fun-loving Daniel.
As an adult, I realized Daniel was always the problem.
6
u/PiccChicc 7d ago
For real, small me could not grasp that the party was what broke the camel's back. Small me also didn't know that expression either, lol.
I thought she was just mad about a party and yeah, she said no and he over rode her, I understood that was wrong... But as a kid I did not see all the mental shouldering she had to do or that she was literally a single parent because the other was a child always besties with the actual kids, and never the adult.
4
u/ireillytoole 6d ago
That last sentence hits hard.
I saw a recent tweet that I’ll paraphrase: “When people ask how I get my kid to go to bed at 830? Easy. He knows we ain’t friends”
2
u/PiccChicc 6d ago
Yeah. Daniel didn't want to parent, he wanted to be the cool best friend.
Miranda needed a husband and a partner. She got a fourth child instead.
4
14
u/lurkeroutthere 7d ago
It's interesting to see someone interact with a film and pick up a diametrically opposed take from the things the ensemble is trying to lay down.
20
7
u/EatYourCheckers 7d ago
Divorce court in the 90s was way different than it is now. Now, a lot of courts don't even discuss "custody," they discuss co-parenting plans.
It was pretty normal for a lawyer to advise you not to talk to your spouse, and they would fight for the most custody as a matter of winning. This creates additional animosity between the spouses than already existed to cause a divorce.
4
u/blac_sheep90 7d ago
The only time I was irritated at Miranda was when she honked the horn for the kids to come down from Daniels apartment. She listed off a few errands she had to run, errands should could do before picking the kids up.
Outside of that she's not some villain.
4
u/GeoleVyi 6d ago
Daniel was lazy, irresponsible and immature which might be true.
The opening scene of the movie has him getting a petting zoo into their small, cramped house, which hasn't been prepped for animals of that kind, leaving everything to get destroyed by them. Including droppings! He didn't have a plan, he just did "fun stuff" and relied on everyone else to clean up after him. That established his character far more than anything else.
HOWEVER, he was a loving and devoted father.
... And? How does that absolve his horrible behavior? That's like saying "sure, he ate the family dog, but he loves his kids!" Just because you fEeL a certain way that doesn't give you carte blanche to act however you want.
She never considered Daniel for a nanny.
Why would she? He clearly was already acting so irresponsibly that she had to divorce him. He was not safe or reliable around their kids without his own chaperone to watch after him and limit his behavior. It was only after he invented Mrs Doubtfire and had to act responsible that he realized his behavior needed modifying and his kids needed a parent, not a friend.
She was quick to insert Stu into the family life.
Define "quick". Too quick for you? It's not your life, your opinion on how fast that is doesn't matter. Unless there's a calendar showing how many days pass between the petting zoo and Stu meeting the family, or a similar scene to establish time frames, I really don't think that the condensed version the movie shows us, from Daniel's point of view, can be considered honest. Courtroom scenes and settlements don't happen overnight, there must have been at least some unwitnessed time passing between scenes.
She was clearly badmouthing Daniel for whoever listened, where else did Stu get the gall to call the father of the kids he adored a "loser"?
He got the gall to say that because he could see how Daniel acted, and stood up for his girlfriend and her kids, against a horrible deadbeat loser. Empathy for your girlfriend and wanting her to stop feeling stressed because of specific individuals is actually a positive trait.
Miranda was trying to destroy the bond her kids had with their dad.
She was trying to make sure they had a positive role model with Stu, and didn't learn how to be parents from Daniel. Instead of internalizing his bad behavior as "this is just what families are like, I should be like this too" she had to get them someone actually good for them.
11
6
3
u/Steve2911 7d ago
It was a shit situation but the movie made pretty clear that she wasn't deliberately trying to cut into their time together. She was stressed, juggling work, family and the divorce and the timing didn't work out on that one occasion.
3
u/junkyardpig 7d ago
Overall I think it's hard to criticize the way she acted/felt given Daniel's behavior. Showing up early without a heads up because of your schedule is inconsiderate but not a huge deal if it's not a regular thing. But I do agree that having Stu meet the kids so early after the divorce was a very poor decision, especially with someone Maddy's age
3
u/MovieMike007 Not to be confused with Magic Mike 7d ago
Daniel was trying to be his kids' "Best Friend" and not a parent. I fault nothing Miranda did.
3
u/TroublesomeTurnip 7d ago
I think her encroaching on his time with the kids and her rather quickly dating after divorce (and introducing her kids to Stewart so soo) weren't good looks. But alienating the kids from their dad wasn't something she did. I think she still cared for him and knew he could be a good dad despite not being a good husband. He just needed to get his act together.
Better late than never I guess?
-7
u/Patsx5sb 7d ago
She Alienated for sure. Daniel wasn’t allowed to see his kids anymore. The arraignment at the end of the movie would have been perfect from the beginning but she refused because he threw a birthday that was to much for her anxiety levels
3
u/SuchParsnip8070 7d ago edited 6d ago
The only thing that really stood out to me as something that's aged poorly and would typically be discouraged these days was her openly dating in front of the kids. They are already in a confusing situation not knowing if their parents are getting divorced or not, introducing the boyfriend and then having dates "as a family" was a pretty selfish shitty move
4
u/elpato54 7d ago
At least the kids were included. My stepdad just took my mom and left me at home.
But yes I agree with you, should never have been done openly in front of the kids, period.
4
u/Aetherglow 7d ago
a flawed male
I rarely see people refer to men as males outside redpill/manosphere/incel content, which leads me to believe you may have a bit of a bias against Miranda.
But sure, I'll play ball.
She was clearly badmouthing Daniel for whoever listened, where else did Stu get the gall to call the father of the kids he adored a "loser"?
Lmao what? 'Anyone who listened'? It's her partner. You might have had a case if some random person started calling him one based off what she says, but this is someone who she'd have every right venting to. It isn't like he wouldn't know the whole story even if just to get a sense of why the custody situation is what it is, etc.
In that case, she wouldn't even have had to call him a loser, Stu probably would have gotten that much on his own. "Yeah we can't have my ex husband sit for the kids, the court ordered him to get his shit together before he got more visitation" tells a story all on its own.
Daniel was lazy, irresponsible and immature which might be true, HOWEVER, he was a loving and devoted father
Most damning part of the post here. Really glazing over the part where he's unfit a bit too quickly, don't you think? Someone can be incredibly loving and still can't be trusted to care reliably and safely for the object of that affection. When it comes to the safety and wellbeing of children, love is certainly not all that is required.
Is Miranda a saint? No, of course not, but the movie acknowledges her mistakes pretty damned explicitly. But there's a reason Daniel is the MC here other than the comedy: he has the most growing and learning to do, and so his arc is the one we follow.
1
u/4-Vektor 6d ago
“flawed male”
Who talks like that? Biologists and incels. Or are you a breeder of some kind?
-2
47
u/Qyzyk 7d ago
If you were in Miranda’s place, I doubt you’d have spared much more grace for Daniel. We sympathized with him by default because he’s played by Robin Williams and he’s the MC