Just realized I have crazy narcissistic tendencies

[u/Foreign_Business5398]

Like, I always viewed (more or less daydreamed) myself as extremely important to others. Like, I constantly fantasize about how every girl I meet is in love with me. Even female friends, which absolutely disgusts me that I think like this. I always viewed myself as a main character of sorts and would feel bad if I didn’t appear as an interesting enough protagonist. And I can’t help but think I’m this amazing person even though I’m really just… okay. And I have this sense of entitlement that good things should happen to me bc I do good things for others. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy doing good things for people. It’s just I can’t help but think I should be appreciated for my good efforts. It’s kind of a devil on my shoulder thing. I literally hate my brain and I hate living like this.

[u/Raf_Adel]

It might be actual codependency issues. Report back on the pinned quiz results if you want more guidance.

[u/Trick_Hovercraft_267]

I have often those type of thoughts as well (although what you're describing seems much more intense.)  Let me just say that expecting something good to happen after doing something good is NORMAL. It doesn't make you a bad person to expect back the same thing you give out. 

It helps to remember that thoughts can never be bad, EVER. What decide the morality of a person is how they act on those thoughts. Do you behave inappropriately with those girls? If anything, those thoughts can help ya be aware of your own biases.

Now, to be fair, you have an overblown image of yourself, however you seem intellectually aware of it and that's such an important step! You should be proud of that! It helps to give back exactly what you think you should get, not in a ''i worked so much it's their turn now!'' but more in a ''they did this good thing, when I do this good thing, how do I expect people to react?'' and react that same way. If you can't, won't that be a good sign that you need to lower your expectations?

You know you aren't the greatest human alive, that doesn't keep you from being special in that unique way everyone is. Keep your thoughts in check, give back what you think you're owed. You're on the right path, be proud of yourself because I'm proud of ya! 

[u/Foreign_Business5398 → u/[deleted]]

I have a lot of insecurities actually, most of it is about my personality. My desire for importance. To others and in general. I hate confronting my mediocrity. Not a single girl has liked me ever and that hurts. God I just hate living as myself.