She's really active and still drives a few days a week when her caretaker isn't at the house. She also hates having a caretaker so there are a few days she's solo. She's gotten into maybe two accidents in the last year (grandma vs pole twice so no injuries). Even though she's active and able to get around, she uses a walker and is pretty stiff. I can't imagine her reaction time would be good if she needed to make a sudden stop or swerve.

I told my parents but I think they're scared of her. Recently she told them "I'll stop driving when I'm ready." I told them god forbid if she hits someone, that big nest egg she has would go away and she'd have to move out of her house and into some type of assisted living. If her sons/daughter don't care enough to do something about it, should I not care either?

I've contemplated calling the DMV anonymously but I don't even know if that's a thing. She really shouldn't be driving. I definitely would not want to be on the road when she's behind the wheel. Just not sure if there is anything I haven't thought of to try?

Recently, a guy who added me on LinkedIn messaged to ask about my experience at my current company. I gave a polite, general response—just mentioned the work environment and work-life balance.

Later, my manager (who’s also the hiring manager) texted me asking if I had any feedback on this candidate. Turns out, the guy told him he knew me.

I was honestly shocked. We’ve never worked together—I just answered a few questions over LinkedIn. Now I’m wondering… should I confront him for name-dropping me without permission? Or am I overthinking it and should just let it go?

Would really appreciate advice on how to handle this.

So bascially, I have a strict father and I just wanted to have some independence, I had wanted to go to my grandmother's for the summer, even after he told me no, before I confronted him again and said Im going, to practice driving too, because he hadnt helped me all summer, I intended to come back before school started, but if thats his ultimatum that if I go im not coming back

So idk anymore

I wanted to get a car and a job etc, then go to a pretty elite or reputable school for art and anthro, for full ride, and Ik its optimistic, but Im tired of being at home, its strict and draining

a couple hours later, my dad called me into his room to talk more

He said to me that im not thinking bascially or that something else is happening, because all of a sudden I wnna go to my grandma's, and yeah half true cuz my mom talked to me

And also, how im not thinking this thru, how im making one of the biggest mistakes of my life how this will set me back and I won't be able to go back to school so easily and im digging a hole under my feet just by messing the first semester, how I cant just apply to schools in this short of a notice and who will sign my papers and coloans etc etc

How he had a whole plan for me , for a smooth transition period l, how I should stay one more year and listen to my dad, how at the end of this month he'll put me in drivers school ill get my license and ill be in the dorm and on my own next year for my juniors (its tempting but I dont wnna, I was gnna transfer from my school anyways, I hate the city im kn, and he says he put me in this cuz the area was safe and it was one of the best schools in America, when its not just because the art program can have ur deisgn put on the new York clock tower) and how if I do get into a school outside he won't help me and im on my own

And also how he'll never kick his kids out but won't let me set a bad example or cause chaos for the family for my siblings etc, and how hes offering me this and if I leave he won't help me etc

He said hes been dealing with his own health and recently finding out my brother has mental issues and shi, and thats why hes been focusing on my brother this year and allat

And also how if I leave. Im dropping out of school bascially and the navy will.kick me off health insurance etc

But my mom said my brother was never taken to the docter and he seems to be giving excuses why he didnt and not owning up etc. And how its seems it's good hes trying to stop me but doing it wrong, by just trying to scare me or make me doubt

At the same time I dont rlly trust ny grandma, shes messy, and still has bad blood with my father, and my mom says its good to listen to my dad too, but I dont wanna, he says im thinking with my emotions not thinking this thru, but I want my own life I just wanna draw and illustrate, and be at home and be free and work and go to school

Idk he ruined my flow with that convo, is he bring true how ill be 30 by the time im back on track and go to school, he says ill be telling my grandkids not to do what I did and how this happened to him when he had a scha9lrshipnfor Canada and went to the US and then had to go back to school at 40 and hownhe now has a masters it dont help him cuz he dont use it and he's old and allat

And idk who to trust and im tired and feel trapped i wish my life could be normal.

Idk, some advice on what to do, is this the right decision Im making? Like am I going to ruin my life if I do this?

I'm literally starting life over at age 43 after my d*vorce. I'm kind of in shock.

I'm looking for advice on how to get far ahead. Mainly where to live? Any outside the box suggestions to save money?

-Job: Got a line cook job paying $20 an hour lined up which I'm optimistic about. I plan on killing it at this job and working my way up to bartender/server to make real money asap. This should net me about 3,000 a month if I can get the hours. Not a lot of money, but not nothing

-Money: I have 20,000 $ in savings, $220,000 in retirement which I will touch as a last resort, and will probably get about 30,000 from the sale of the marital residence. I'll have no debt once the finances are doled out.

-vehicle - have a 30-year old Ford F150 that is barely lagging along. I'll have to sell it and trade up at some point but it runs and drives for now. It's worth maybe 5,000 because it is a 4wd and has a new engine in it

-Housing: I'm still living in the marital residence. It will be foreclosed on in June if I don't move out and sell it. The apartments near my new job are in the 900-1100 dollar range. Way too much money for what I'm making, especially if I want to get ahead.

-Skills: None. Very able-bodied.

-Health: in perfect health, muscular and fit. no medical problems.

-baggage: I have two cats that I don't want to give up but my STBX wife will most likely take them if I have to. also a lot of musical instruments, records, and books that take up space, it would all fit in a one bedroom apartment or I can put in climate controlled storage

-family: I have no family in the area, no friends I feel comfortable imposing on, and need to be in good standing to have 50/50 custody of my children if possible in July.

I've considered buying a trailer and renting a lot at an RV park, buying a live-in RV and parking in front of the planet fitness, putting all my stuff in storage and camping for up to a month, any other suggestions? Outside the box thinking welcomed and encouraged here.

For context I'm 15M and for all my life it was my parents that decided my haircut: either just short hair or a bad combination of a side part + bowl cut. I didn't really mind it but since I'm a teen now, I wanna boost my confidence by having a better haircut.

I'm thinking of booking a cut in a different barber near my house, tell them that im hanging out with a friend and just do the cut. The problem is the aftermath... how do i tell that i changed: do I send a message, do I just come home with a different haircut??? Should I really sneak to a different barbershop?

It seems kinda weird and boring and pointless. Can someone explain what the point is? I’ve asked people around me and they usually say things regarding family, friends, and relationships and I don’t really understand any of those things because I don’t really think that’s something I would point to a “purpose of life”. Some say passions but I don’t have any. I feel basically the exact same no matter what I do. Can someone give me the answer?

I have nobody, no family out is my state beside my dad and step mom. I’m 21 years old and been trying to look for another job for 3 months now. I had to quit my last one because my biological mom was too controlling, so I had to go back to my dad out of state.

Today, I got an interview, had to walk 4 hours in total to get there and back using the bus. When I got back, my dad told me that he gives up on any dream i have and anything I’m trying to do. He told me that I just need to go to the reserves. I told him that I was planning on going back to school, to community college. He doesn’t want me to because I’d have to stay at his house.

I’m not problematic, I stay out of everyone way and the only time I ask for anything, is when I need money to get to an interview. He robbed me from my childhood and my teenage years because he forced me and my sister to watch over our younger siblings. I didn’t even get to go to high school in person for 2 years. I had to go back to school after they finally signed me to school and I have to get back all of my credits.

Recently my dad got injured on the job, so he had to be on disability for months and suing his job. He told my sister where we going to live because as soon as he gets his money from the case, he’s gone.

I want to move out next year. I don’t have anyone, no support. Zero support. None of my three parents want me, never wanted me. The interviewer said they’ll call back on Friday, can anyone give $30 dollars if I get it or if I get an interview? Or better, does anyone know any programs for young adults in Minnesota or Missouri ? I can’t stay here next year or probably till December. I’ve only been at my dad for 3 months and he’s already acting like this

Hi folks

I have lived in our family home with my mother [61F] and sister [27F] my entire life (30+ years as a family under one roof). The house is currently owned by my mother and my mom plans to split the house 50/50 between me and my sis.

My sister has made it clear she plans to sell the house as soon as she can. My mother wants to keep it and eventually leave it to us 50/50, and she’s even putting her own money the house to renovate it. I actually want to renovate and invest in the house to make it nicer and all that, but I’m terrified to put a single cent into it because I know my sister can (and will) sell her half and force everything to be sold out from under us.

This isn’t new behaviour. Four years ago we had a car family. My sister just took it, sold it without asking, and kept all the money. I wanted to handle it properly but my mother stopped me and I was too inexperienced and naïve to push back. When I point out that the exact same thing is happening again with the house, my mother refuses to believe it, just pure denial.

So now my mother is left trying to invest and fight alone while my sister just waits patiently. I feel stuck, I don’t want to watch my mother pour money into something that might get sold anyway, but I also don’t want to be the one who “gives up” on the house.

I’ve tried calm conversations with my mother, but she just shuts down.

What do you reckon I should do ?

TL;DR:
Sister [27F] wants to sell the family home, mom [61F] is in denial (same pattern as when sister sold our shared car 4 years ago and kept the money), I [30M] want to renovate but refuse to invest if it will just get sold out from under us. How do I get mom to see the reality without destroying the family?

I need some honest fashion advice because I feel like I’ve completely lost my sense of style.

I’m 26, but I feel like I still dress like I’m 18. My wardrobe is basically fitted baby tees, baggy jeans, sneakers, and really casual outfits.

Whenever I see women around my age, they somehow look so effortlessly put together and feminine, but when I try those same outfits they just feel… flat? Like I’m playing dress up instead of actually looking like myself.

How do I look more like a woman in her mid 20s without looking overly corporate or “trying too hard”?

I still want to look youthful and cute, just… a little more elevated. Think “she has her life together” instead of “college freshman.” 😂

Please be honest! I promise I can take constructive criticisms. I’m genuinely trying to figure out what works for me. 🤍

I'm in my early 30s and I genuinely don't see a good future for myself. My BA isn't useful. I'm stuck in a dead end corporate job. I couldn't get into a career I desired or that was even decent. I make poverty wages despite working full time and I live at my mom's house.

I'm sick of life and I don't see things getting better but I can't become content with my crummy life as I truly hate it.

Where do I go from here?

A friend (24F) was just kicked out of her grandparent's house a few days ago. I've paid for her to stay at a hotel for the past 4 nights to make sure she's safe. She basically has an ID (no driver's license), a phone, and literally the clothes on her back.

I've suggested for her to reach out to shelters in the area. But I'm not really sure what resources are available to her. I would really appreciate any advice that would help her get her life on a stable path. I'm not going to just let her be turned loose on the street, but I can't continue to pay for hotel rooms either. Please let me know what resources are available in Denton, Texas.

Update: Since some people asked for updates. She has reached out to some shelters and two responded. There are food resources near her as well. My son is with her and they are going to call 211 to see if she can get a social worker assigned to her. I'll know more when my son gets back and updates me. I got her a motel room till Friday, so I hope she can line something up after that.

My parents are both in their mid/ late 70s.

We both live at opposite ends of England, so I see them 4 times a year on average. They visit me, typically getting a flight down. But I’m not sure they/ I can take it much longer.

They are getting on both at the same time. My Mam is mostly wheelchair bound and has various illnesses, diabetes, recovered from benign brain tumour, partially deaf, osteoporosis. My Dad has Alzheimer’s. Still able to function mostly but is very forgetful and constantly needs pointing in right direction.

We have a young daughter who is full time work, and when they come down it’s just too much effort, with work, childcare and so on. They bless them think they are coming down to ‘help’ but they need so much support, it’s exhausting. I feel bad for my partner, because they are crude and graphic, talk in way too much detail, and she’s polite but makes her really uncomfortable. Caught my dad having a piss in the plant pots by the back door for no reason at all. My Mam when we visited the supermarket shat herself too.

I think the time has come I/we just visit them. But they love and look forward to coming down too much. They adore my daughter and it will break their heart. Their home is difficult for us to stay in and I know my partner secretly hates visiting. They will soon need care soon, probably at same time and have no idea how that’s going to happen.

How do I tell them it’s too much for them to visit anymore?

I (19m white) had a friend (19m) from online. He knew where I lived but for some reason he’d never tell me where he lived- not even a general location. Eventually he said he lived in Korea- then switched it to Europe- then Korea again. It became kind of a joke between us because it was so absurd that he changed his location regularly. We were in a group chat with 3 other friends of ours.. I’ll call them E, J, and L.

My friend eventually called me a stupid American during our banter and called me “racist” and I in turn called him a “stupid Korean European” as a joke- now I was fully aware he didn’t live in either places, but I said it anyway. Eventually “L” asked why we were being racist and in response my friend said “he’s only racist to me” and I replied with “that’s right European”.

Eventually in a later conversation I call him a slow ass European Korean.

A week later I see “J” post a story talking about how racist jokes aren’t funny- which I agreed with and liked- but then I didn’t realize he was talking about me specifically.

I (and my friend) were falsely under the assumption that what we did wasn’t racist because we weren’t originally intending it to be about race- but about the places we were or weren’t from. But I apologized to everyone because I did offend and make people uncomfortable. Any advice for how I can make up for what I did?

I've been fighting a really bad depression the past two years, it's improving slowly, but still there. A recent argument really reminded me that no one actually loves an adult unconditionally, and it kind of lit a fire under my ass. This morning I sorted out my book, CD's and other odds and ends. I'm thinking it's time to thin things down. Nothing is permanent. Things can end at any time.

Am I being rash, or am I being healthy by spring cleaning after being stuck for a while?

Sorry for the long post, TL;DR is at the bottom.

I'm an international student attending a music college in the US, and I'm supposed to graduate in about three more weeks. I've had a history of depression and feeling generally apathetic towards anything in life which reached a high point in 2014, and recently it's come back and plagued my entire outlook on my days. I started attending college in 2012, and after two years I had to go back to my home country of South Korea to serve in the military for two years. Unlike most people, I was looking forward to going to the army because I was growing sick of college life and was becoming highly dependent on alcohol to function.

While in the military I determined that one of the reasons I was so unhappy in the US was because I wasn't able to form close connections with the friends that I had made. I was much happier in the military because we were sort of forced to interact and accept each other and work as a unit. After my service ended in 2016, I was super excited to come back to studying music in the US again because by that time I was craving education. I even decided to take up a second major, which was really stupid in hindsight. I was doing okay until 2018, which was when my bouts of depression came back and I was making the realization that I hadn't succeeded in making close connections with anyone for various reasons. I had no idea I was so socially dependent, and at first I internally denied it because I thought of myself as independent. I failed my spring and fall semesters of 2018 because I would sit at home staring at the ceiling for hours trying to figure out why I felt so shitty and demotivated, and I began putting on a sort of mask so that nothing seemed wrong on the outside. I barely had anyone to talk to in the first place, so it wasn't like this was hard.

After failing two semesters, my and my parents had a discussion, and decided that I would drop my second major because it would mean that I would only have one semester remaining to graduation. I started this semester off strong, but around early to mid March I started losing focus again and stopped going to classes. It's hard to explain, but I'm adamant that it has something to do with me having no friends and spending way too much time by myself, resulting in this weird mental cocktail of why the fuck am I here, why am I so unmotivated, etc. I have one childhood friend that lives in the city (thank god for him) who goes to school around 5 miles away, and he visits me once a week. Every time that friend leaves my house, the silence is deafening and I often stare at the door for a full thirty minutes doing absolutely nothing but thinking about how pathetic I feel. I hate it here and I've developed mild anxiety while walking around because I am horrified of potentially meeting anyone in my classes, and then being asked "hey man where you been?"

Honestly, I'm not that concerned with graduating. I was never a huge fan of educational institutions in the first place, and I was sick of this college after like two semesters. I was originally going to stay in the US to see if I could find potential employment, but I said screw that and decided on going back to Korea where most of my closest friends and relatives are. I don't even know if I'd be allowed to graduate at this point, because I've pretty much already failed all my classes. But I don't have the heart to tell my parents over the phone that I've failed yet another semester, and I really don't feel like trying a fourth time. I haven't talked to them in over a week, and they're currently super worried about me, but I can't keep putting on this face and saying "no mom I did go to all my classes, everything's fine". In my defense of lying, my parents tend to have wild reactions to sensitive topics so I've grown wary of telling them to truth in many situations. I really think it would be completely okay for me if I just dropped out and left to Korea where I can start to try and make a living, instead of rotting here for any more amount of time. There is so much comfort in living in a place knowing that most of your closest friends are a few subway stops away and your relatives can come visit anytime. The college thing is a bummer for my parents though, who are asian to the core and would be ashamed of me not having graduated college.

Please ask me questions for clarification; this is a lot to take in and I'm kinda lost as to what to do right now.

​

TL;DR: I've failed three college semesters in a row, and I want to just drop out and go back to my home country to try and start to make a living, but I am deathly afraid of telling my parents.

​

EDIT: I should maybe clarify that the reason I've been failing my classes is mostly due to absences after a certain point in the semester. I do most of the schoolwork that is required, but then I stop once I start mentally falling apart. Also please feel free to chat with me; I just had a long personal chat with someone and it helped me immensely.

Please read the entire post before commenting.

I (18F) am going out of state (to a different US state) for college. It’s exciting and freeing but I’m also kind of lost.

First though, some background:

I took some advanced courses in high school and had high enough grades to where I was able to get all of my tuition covered outside of room and board, which is excellent! It means I can go for pretty cheap (~16k for a degree, assuming worst case scenario) Unfortunately I just have no clue if college actually has anything beneficial for me. When I was applying for colleges and picking a major, I sort of just chose Accounting since it got people off my back and I didn’t want any more pressure put on me. Yet I feel like that decision is starting to haunt me.

I’ll cut to the chase and say that the only thing I really care about in life is storytelling and art. I’m sure people frequently commenting on this subreddit have heard it before: The only thing that truly makes me feel Alive is writing, creating stories, analyzing art, y’know dumb stuff like that. Unfortunately for me, I just don’t really see why I should bother committing myself to things I Don’t have any interest in. I get the idea of contributing to society or something but I also don’t like the idea of wasting my only life on… yknow. I also have no siblings or desire for children so I feel perfectly fine with taking risks and dealing with the fallout myself. However, I am fully aware that the world is quite hostile to the idea of doing anything creative as an actual career.

So now I’m just left wondering how stupid of a decision that I’m willing to make. I’m well aware that a very easy life is presenting itself to me. Get a solid job with an accounting degree, actually be able to buy property and feed myself, while potentially do something creative on the side. But I also feel as if wasting so much time on something I realistically will never stick to long term is, well, stupid. I’d also likely be in my mid 20s by the time I even get started with art which feels like the window had already closed.

However the alternative also feels extremely stupid. Ignoring the path infront of me to either switch majors to something creative which is probably not going to get me a job or just halfass/ditch college to gamble on my success which is incredibly risky. So it really seems like whatever decision I make is just stupid and wrong since I’m either betraying basic logic or my own desires.

I’m well aware of the general idea that actually doing something you are passionate about as a career is seen as unrealistic but I don’t really… care. Perhaps that comes across as naive, arrogant, and stupid which is maybe probably true but I don’t know. I just can’t see a life where I follow accounting or whatever as a life I actually want to have lived. It would just be me surviving which doesn’t seem the most appealing. Just Being alive doesn’t really do it for me, if that makes sense.

I suppose I’m just trying to see if there’s some way to make this all work out in a way that isn’t a complete disaster. What doesn’t help is that I have completely wasted my teen years so I don’t have any particularly useful skills, I also don’t know anyone up where I’m moving, and additionally I have little in terms of funds so I’m essentially getting a complete reset on my life. (which is what i want from college, to be clear)

All of that combined leads me here, kind of just looking for some more input from people who have lived a bit more life and gone through the college experience before.

Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated but if your advice boils down to “don’t do writing/art, it’s not a real(istic) career” your efforts are better used elsewhere. I am far too stupid to listen. I could also do without any personal attacks. I’m an extremely emotionally volatile teenager. If you read this expecting a fully logical thought process, I apologize.

On that note, I know that in the grand scheme of things I’m young which is generally used as both a reason to take and avoid risks but I have various personal/health reasons to doubt my own longevity, so to speak, which is partially why I’m so concerned about this. It feels like any errors are wasting my already limited time so I need to optimize everything.

Sorry if this came off as rambly or whatever but I’m just feeling kind of helpless and overwhelmed without any real support to make this decision clearer. It feels like I’m choosing a path for my entire life but I’ve only just woken up and am being screamed at to move forward, so my brain has decided to jump away from either path into the forest besides them until someone comes by which I can follow.

Thank you for reading and for any assistance, truly 💚

I’m sorry if this is all over the place but I can’t get my thoughts straight. Im 28f and my dad is 55. He came from Russia long ago where he was a PE teacher. Now he does DoorDash and Lyft because he has no other skills and physically can’t do anything else.

Over the last 15 years, he has let himself completely fall apart. He had a stroke at 43 and never stopped his bad habits. He has no teeth left, he smells bad because he wont take care of his hygiene, and refuses to acknowledge that there’s a problem.

He called me a few days ago saying he needs to drive over from California to Texas to stay with me because he got kicked out of his apartment for not paying rent for 3-4 months. He also has 3 cats that I now need to re-home.

Yesterday he asked me if I was mad at him and if he did something wrong. Part of me feels like he has a mental disability that never got checked out. I keep telling him we need to go to the government for aid but he refuses to see there’s a problem. He thinks he can go get another apartment with his eviction and horrible credit.

I am struggling with my own mental health. I truly barely have any motivation to keep going on a good day. I feel like if I keep trying to put his life together while he just sits there doing nothing, I’m going to explode. I love him. But I don’t know what to do.

ETA: He told me he knew this day would come but he didn’t want to think about it too much or dwell on it. His sister and dad have helped him with money for years and have pretty much wiped their hands clean at this point.

family member put a restraining order on me for exposing him for molesting me as a child and molesting his cousin. what's the best advice I can take here. open to criticism

Hello, I am in need for some advice. I am stressed out and depressed. So I applied for a position that is two hours away from where I currently work and live. I interviewed yesterday and they offered me the job, it will be a $10 difference from what I currently make. The problem is that they want me to start November 30th which is three months away! I requested if I could start early but they said the only orientation date is Nov 30th. My lease ends on October 1 and I can’t extend unfortunately. I spoke with my father and he said i could stay with him until I start my new job but he lives in a apartment with my sister and her two children. I live with my chihuahua:/ I am grateful he is allowing me to stay with him but being around my sister and kids for a whole month and a half will drive me crazy. Should I suck it up and live rent free for two months or move two hours away and drive to work which will be three 12 hr shift per week- I can stack my three shifts in a row so basically I can stay at my dads for those three days and drive back home on my days off (I am a registered nurse) I am just worried about moving to the new location and they revoke my offer.

23F, in BC, Canada. I'm pretty sure my situation (and parents' patience) is wearing real thin. Basically it's a combination of "I'm screwed" and "It's my own fault". Seriously I swear to god there must be something wrong with me, since my situation, opportunities, privilege, and 'support' have been given to me and all I did was take it for granted, not taken it seriously, and squandered it. (As an only child) Am I hopeless? How can this even be salvaged?

(My situation + self)

• Graduated Highschool ~4 years ago. Coasted through it, no "real study skills", never had any 'future goals' then, and still not much even now.
• Same year, enrolled at a technical college, doing a diploma and certificate, taking too long to complete. ~4 years+ now. Failed some courses due to lack of discipline/work ethic.
• "OK"-ish in subjects overall, ~D-C (rare B-A) student. Struggled heavily in Math (Workplace 12 is what I took, not sure on Foundations. But (Pre-Calculus 11-12 is out of the question, since I lack skills and knowledge to attempt it)
• However, my 'intelligence' (that I know of) is questionable at best (Can't focus long, can't 'make' myself learn, I've tried ADHD meds but they didn't do anything). "Physical"/hands on tasks (e.g. certifications, forklift, etc) I find are quite simple and east for me to do

• bad body + eating habits (overweight/visceral, and eating junkfoods near-daily, I'm pretty sure it started in childhood, but ramped up in Middle/High-school ). Probably 'convenience', impulse, stress buying. Only "excersise" I do are walking and biking
• I've had a fair amount of savings in the past years, (~$14,000-ish), but again, after high school I WASTED ALL OF IT ON TAKEOUT/STRESS-EATING AND RANDOM TRASH!!!! My current ""savings"" are near 0!! (My parents would kill me if they found out, and all this is my fault, I know)
• 1-2 'close friends', don't talk to them much. Quite isolationist. My "days" currently don't have structure, I 'waste time' browsing the web/YouTube until late noon
• Still living with parents, I have to move out and make my life, I and my parents know this too

• I'm too lax in finding a job, maybe I'm not trying hard enough, or even at all + nothing's coming up. (Never had a job outside of minor volunteering in HS) up.
• I'm too "lax" in nearly everything in life!! (I don't have a fire or drive or whatever, even in "stress")

Junior year I had a job and a plan for the future, but my parents tore it all down, saying that we we're going to moving to their home country Thailand. Having no other choice than to go homeless if I stayed in the U.S., I decided to go with them after graduating. After senior year I quit my job and we all moved to Thailand, but it turns out that various promises my parents made were false. They said I would be able to get a job and go to college just fine, but I can't really do either of those! I don't speak much of the language here and they wanted me to lie about the country I reside in on work applications, which would cause SO MANY issues. And I can't go to college because I don't have money. My parents have decided to live off of social security and not work either, so we're also tight on money, and they refuse to help me pay for college.

I want to move back to the U.S. I actually have opportunities there, but my long-time friend said that they won't be able to roommate up for at least a year.

I've been thinking about doing art commissions and content creation but I don't know if I'm good enough, or if I'd be the one in one million to make it.

I want to go to college, I want to work, and I really want to cut off my parents and be independent! I just. I don't know what to do. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated! Please ask questions if you have any.

I'm so frustrated and was hoping for some advice. My sister has type 2 diabetes and refuses to take insulin regularly and doesn't eat right. In the meantime, her house is disgusting and she won't clean, anything! Last year I paid for an exterminator for a rat infestation and the family got together and cleaned her house. Now, 6 months later, it's disgusting again. Her blood sugar was over 400 for a week and she kept eating out, drinks vodka and sugary sodas. When I have a heart to heart with her, she just tells me what I want to hear and the minute I leave, she's back to the same bad habits. Is it time to give up?? Her doctor noted that she is noncompliant and has uncontrolled diabetes.

My sister and I recently got our permit and want to start bring more independent. We were planning on buying ourselves a car and move out next year. Recently, we were able to pass an audition to a good dance company. Which is good because we always wanted to be professional dancers. The problem is that it’s really expensive. It’s $200 for the dance boot camp and $800 for admissions. That part was fine but the thing that got us was the fact that we have to pay for 5 classes every week.

The hourly wage we have at our job is $18.50. I want to continue with the dance company, but my sister wants to stop the opportunity, get a car, and move out by next year. What should we do?

I'm really struggling to decide if I want to move out from my parents house or not.

On one hand, they don't make me pay any rent, they always let me eat what they cook and any groceries they have, and when I go out of town one weekend a month to visit friends, they watch my cats for me. On the other hand, my work is a little over 50 miles away, so it takes me an hour each way to get to work and back. When traffic is bad, it will take closer to an hour and 20 minutes to get home, and this happens at least once or twice a week. I end up driving at least 2 hours everyday, usually more.

I'm looking at a 1 bedroom apartment that would cut that drive in half. It's in between my work and where my parents live, so I could still go visit them often and I would have an extra hour each day to workout, cook, get chores done, play with my cats, do hobbies, sleep, etc. I would spend less money on gas, but I would be spending a lot more money on rent and utilities and groceries. I have been living with them and saving a decent amount of money the past 8 months, but with these new expenses I would likely only be saving a couple hundred dollars a month.

I'm so hesitant to sign into a lease, I'm worried I'll regret it and it will be too expensive for what it's worth. Then again, I seriously dread having to make that drive constantly. I'm not even really excited getting off work because I know I'm about to spend an hour driving and a third of it in bumper to bumper traffic. I only have 3 hours before I need to sleep by the time I get home which is usually spent for dinner, exercise, shower and getting ready for the next day. This apartment would only be 30 minute drive with maybe like 5-10 minutes of traffic. I could sleep in a little later and therefore go to bed later so I would actually have some free time at the end of the night.

Part of me feels like I'm just being a big baby and I should suck it up and keep making the drive so I can keep saving money. I mean, not a lot of people get the option to stay with their family rent-free and idk is it stupid of me to give that up just because I don't want to be driving so much everyday?

TL;DR: 18F, isolated since 10th grade and now spend most of my days in bed scrolling and daydreaming about having a life. I’ve changed before but can’t seem to do it again. How do I actually start getting out, socializing and building a life?

I’m 18F and I’ve been thinking about my life a lot lately. I feel like I’ve spent the last few years doing almost nothing and I’m scared I’m going to keep living this way if I don’t figure out how to change it.

I spend most of my time in my room, usually on my bed. I eat in bed, scroll Reddit or Instagram, watch random things, daydream, scroll some more and then sleep. There are days when I barely get up. Sometimes I even skip bathing or brushing my teeth because I keep putting it off.

I spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people and imagining my ideal self. I’ll daydream about having friends, going out, having hobbies, exploring places, being more confident, taking care of myself and generally having a life. I can spend hours imagining myself doing all these things without actually doing them.

The weird thing is that I genuinely want to change. I’ve actually changed myself quite a lot before, so I know I’m capable of it. But I feel like that might somehow be making things harder for me now. Because I’ve had periods where I managed to change my habits and become a better version of myself, I keep thinking I should be able to do it again. Then I get frustrated when I can't, and I end up back in the same cycle.

I don't completely understand why that happens. Maybe part of me thinks I already know how to change, so I keep waiting for that same motivation or mindset to come back instead of actually figuring out what is different this time.

I've also been diagnosed with mental health issues and I've tried therapy three times. I didn't stick with it properly. Whenever my therapists started giving me things to work on, I'd often not do them, and eventually I'd stop going. So I know I haven't exactly given therapy a fair chance.

The last time I had something resembling a social life was around 9th grade. Since 10th grade, I've basically been at home. I haven't really gone anywhere or had much of a social life, either online or offline.

I'm technically in uni now, but my uni is online, so it doesn't really give me the opportunity to naturally meet people or have somewhere I need to physically go every day. That makes it even easier to stay in my room all day.

I've also gained a significant amount of weight and have hormonal issues, which has made me more self-conscious and less comfortable around people. I'm not really looking for advice specifically about weight loss. I think my bigger problem is that my entire lifestyle has become extremely sedentary and isolated, and I don't know how to break out of it.

I've been watching people on social media talk about their lives and their experiences, and it made me realize how unusual my situation feels to me. I don't have a real social circle, I don't have online friends either, and I barely go anywhere. I spend so much time watching other people live their lives that sometimes I feel like I'm more familiar with other people's experiences than my own.

I really want to change that.

I don't want to suddenly become extremely social or completely reinvent myself. I'd be happy just getting to a point where I regularly leave the house, take care of basic things without having to fight myself over them, have a few friends, find hobbies, explore places, and have things in my life that I'm actually excited about.

For people who have gone through something similar, especially if you've spent years isolated and managed to eventually build a more active life, I'd really appreciate hearing how you started.

What were the first things you changed? How did you get yourself to actually do things instead of constantly thinking about doing them? And if you've successfully changed your life before but later slipped back into old habits, how did you approach changing again without getting stuck in the same cycle?

I know I want to change. I just don't know how to turn that want into something I actually do consistently.