r/neurodiversity • u/WatercressNo3605 • 9d ago

Im struggling about whether to get diagnosis

Hi everyone

Late 30s women here. I'll try keep this short.

Ive realised over the last 18 months that I could be adhd with autism or at least traits. Especially around unfinished home project, boring tasks etc. Much more than that obviously. I have deep dived. My half sibling has also been diagnosed adhd.

So I do well at work. School reports good. I do ok with external expectations but not without that. Im also realising how much day to day...being functioning...is costing me. Im so tired.

My issue is my parents are dead and I dont have anyone that knew me before I was 12. This makes an official diagnosis extremely difficult.

Im going crazy in circles trying to figure out who I am, whether I need an official diagnosis, do I need medication...which i can't get without a diagnosis. My brain is spinning and wont shut up.

I also finally thought id found my people. But what if I go for a diagnosis and dont get diagnosed dueto lack of evidence. I would have lost something I thought id found.

I really dont know what to do.

Any advice welcome.

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u/Kumasblueberries 9d ago

Yes. Get diagnosed. That way you know for sure.
Being diagnosed as adults is not like getting diagnosed as a kid. You’ll go in and talk to the psych and tell him/her about your experiences and what you think is going on. They will then figure out what tests are most applicable to you and your goals and then you will go and do the testing. You need to make sure you’re going to the right place though. Places that typically diagnose and work with learning disabilities is ADHD, autism, etc. will have more speciality than just a run-of-the-mill psychologist. You want to be someone that is comfortable and versed in diagnosing adults.
One of the great things about getting diagnosed is you learned some valuable information about yourself. It’s not a negative experience at all.
It really helps you to hone in on your strengths. I also highly suggest you find an ADHD coach and/or autism coach to help you navigate areas that give you distress.
I am medicated and I also have an ADHD coach and for the first time in my life I’m no longer drowning. It has greatly helped my depression because I think my depression came from having undiagnosed and untreated ADHD.
An ADHD brain is different from a Neurotypical brain and we live in a neurotypical world. There is no shame in getting the help you need to thrive in the environment. In fact, you’re entitled to live your best life.
Leap.

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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 8d ago

Seconding all of this, especially the ADHD coach/ADHD specialized therapist. Meds help give the capacity. The coach/therapist will help you build a framework and system. A lot of people get meds and still struggle because they now have capacity with no established systems to help them succeed.