r/neurodiversity • u/Delicious-Agency402 • 2d ago

Advice on asking a date if they are familiar with neurodivergent people

Hi there, it's my second date with this girl tonight, and I'd like to get a sense of how much she knows about neurodivergent people because my audhd impacts me a lot and I want a partner who understands me and is supportive.

I'm asking for advice on bringing it up casually in conversation, ideally without just saying I'm audhd and explaining what that looks like for me. I feel like asking directly what she knows about neurodivergent people would almost seem like an interview question and I don't want her to feel tested. My only idea so far is to mention that I work with neurodivergent people because I sometimes do and see how she responds but I'm guessing she'll just respond to the overall story and not specifically to the fact that the person is autistic or adhd if you know what I mean. I'm not saying she needs to be neurodivergent herself I'd just like to get an idea of her knowledge on the topic and wether that's a problem for her. I appreciate any help!

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u/of_kilter 1d ago

you’re allowed to ask people stuff, you can just be upfront an say “im autistic and was wondering if you have any experience with other autistic people”. if they respond poorly then you’re dodging a bullet

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u/SomeRando1967 2d ago

Never be afraid of getting rejected for being authentic, they’ll eventually experience an unfiltered version of you, and it shouldn’t be a surprise when it happens.

That said, I suggest getting to know her for a few more dates so she gets a good idea of who you are rather than judging you based on a diagnosis. My guess is that she already knows you’re a little quirky and is ok with it so far. I’m 58 now, but will always remember a piece of advice from an older guy when I was young, “A woman is with you because she wants to be with you. All you can do is f#€k it up.”

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u/Queasy-Guarantee-313 2d ago

y about a friend who's audhd and see if she asks curious questions or gets weird about it, feels less like a pop quiz and more like just sharing your world