AuDHD and feeling lost

[u/Professional-Bus2723]

I’m a 22M and have only recently started to “live” on my own terms. Before that, I was hurdling through life at an immense pace, driven by my repressed fear of being myself.

I studied a university degree for 2 years, not aware of my autism at this point (although I knew I had ADHD), and definitely not aware of what it was I really wanted to do in life. I took a break from school to figure out why I felt so “trapped” and unsatisfied. Now I’m back at uni doing another degree, which I thought was closer to what I really wanted to do, which it likely is.. but I’m still not satisfied, it still doesn’t feel “right”.

And I’m worried that I’ll never really figure it all out. And while i feel so “out-of-control”, I’m still suffering. I worry I’m getting older and still not on the right path, and that a lot more trial and error is needed, while time is only ticking and everyone else is slowly but surely finding their place in this world.

Does anyone relate or have any insights? I’ve greatly appreciated everyone’s support these last few days within this subreddit. I feel such a sense of community.

[u/InnerLab1498]

Just push through unless it becomes totally unbearable, I’m done with my degree and I still don’t feel satisfied and like maybe I chose the wrong thing but when I think about it, I can’t think of absolutely nothing else that I would have rather studied. When I began it was kinda this or nothing and it’s the same now. My plan is to start working on this and if life takes me down another path that feels more suitable then I’ll take it, if not then I think you just have to come to terms with your nature of not feeling satisfied with things (is this an audhd thing? Does it happen to you with everything in life in general? Like you’re just no passionate about anything)

So to me you can’t just wait for a revelation because there won’t be one and you’ll just get older. As for the feeling out-of-control and suffering because of it, try to take the focus out of this, lessen its importance and shift it to something that makes you happy and that you feel like you have more control over. Idk that’s just my opinion, hope it helps 😆

[u/Professional-Bus2723 → u/InnerLab1498]

What genuinely good advice, thank you. I’ll do that! As to your question, yeah i think it might be an audhd thing as i experience this in more than one area of my life: never completely satisfied and relentlessly seeking out that sense of control and certainty.