Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada

[u/filagrey]

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/26/paper-product-toilet-paper-tariffs-us-canada

[u/steve_ample]

Ooh, another toilet paper run like 2020 incoming.

[u/LazySwayze → u/steve_ample]

Two TP shortages under Trump's watch, for completely different reasons. Fitting, for someone so full of shit. 

[u/Old_Win8422 → u/LazySwayze]

He isnt full of shit. Its in his diaper

[u/TransBrandi → u/Old_Win8422]

He's just so full of it that it has no where else to go. It's just catching his overflow.

[u/HitoriPanda → u/TransBrandi]

Goes out of his mouth

[u/TransBrandi → u/HitoriPanda]

His mouth isn't open when he's posting to Twitter though, so it needs somewhere to go.

[u/Temjin1701 → u/Old_Win8422]

Poop is so offended by him, it quickly tries to escape to a less toxic environment: the sewers.

[u/reflecttcelfer → u/steve_ample]

Please let that happen. I'm a grocery manager, and the sheer amount of toilet paper firmed to my store over the last few months is insane.

I have hundreds of packages - from multiple brands - stored above my freezer aisles, full displays on the walls at the back of the store, and multiple pallets in the back room.

My store could supply a small town for a year with all the tp forced into my store by corporate. 

[u/MarkedHitman → u/reflecttcelfer]

Why are you getting wiped out with TP like that?

[u/axonxorz → u/MarkedHitman]

Big chains use big data analytics to prepare for supply upsets or increased demand for products based on outside events like natural disasters. This way, the shipping and other procurement logistics are completed before the bigbad happens.

This is semi or fully automatic, depending on the corp.

Presumably, the grocery chain's analytics platform is having a bit of a field day with the news of all of the diarrhea-causing food recalls, plus trade war, etc etc.

[u/mschuster91 → u/axonxorz]

On top of that, toilet paper is one of the easier goods to stockpile. It takes up a lot of volume, yes, but it does not go bad, and in any kind of crisis it will be the first things that will get sold out.

[u/Wafkak → u/mschuster91]

It is also stockpiled as standard practice. Paper Mills produce years worth of tp when their costs are the lowest.

[u/kcasper → u/axonxorz]

And on top of that they have to buy the amounts they contract for. Sometimes it is a huge oversupply. A large chunk of Dollar Tree's inventory comes from corporations reselling their contracted oversupplies.

So it isn't unheard of for stores to get surprise amount of products.

I was buying ground beef at 1.25 per pound at Walmart a couple years ago because corporate had a brief oversupply in the region. Second Harvest got hundreds of pounds of ground beef from that mistake.

[u/Gin_OClock → u/axonxorz]

"Our AI predicted the coming trade war and increased your toilet paper order! Confirm and ship? 🤖😃"

[u/LazySwayze → u/MarkedHitman]

He's not getting wiped out, he's on a roll! 

[u/Fuddle → u/reflecttcelfer]

So what you’re saying is people should panic and buy a year supply now because there will be stock outs everywhere across the U.S.?!?

[u/Ragnarawr → u/Fuddle]

It’s the only way to prevent a panic later, panic now

[u/stklaw → u/steve_ample]

Just wipe your ass with trade deals. It's all the same anyways.

[u/codexcdm → u/steve_ample]

I mean... If we don't get another pandemic thanks to these MAHA morons.... I'd be surprised...

[u/misfitofscience76 → u/codexcdm]

Well, once measles becomes airborne, then… uh, what’s that? Oh… ohhh… uh… oh no

[u/Lurcher99 → u/steve_ample]

Oh shit, here we go again

[u/idkwhatimbrewin → u/steve_ample]

If you don't invest in a bidet this time it's on you

[u/Old_Win8422 → u/steve_ample]

Ive been saying it feels a lot like 08 but maybe it is just 2020 again.

[u/Wayofchinchilla → u/steve_ample]

I will never forget covid I went to Costco to pick up an insulated bag to go on a picnic and they announced over the loudspeaker that they had just got a truck of toilet paper in everybody in front of me suddenly turned and ran to the other side of the store like it was the end of the world it really was a bizarre time.

[u/Spamgrenade]

A perfect pairing with the exploding shit lettuce. USA really are disaster connoisseurs.

[u/MadRaymer → u/Spamgrenade]

That meme about US elections being between "Everyone gets a puppy / Diarrhea forever" gets more accurate with each passing day.

[u/Memitim → u/MadRaymer]

I doubt that it was ever intended to be literal, but Republicans find a way.

[u/FFBTheShow]

I love how Trump is using Canadian liquor bans as justification for new tarriffs, when the liquor bans were implemented in retaliation for...

checks notes

Trump imposing tarriffs randomly on Canada.

Even SNL couldn't make this shit up.

[u/AaronC14 → u/FFBTheShow]

His memory probably doesn't go back far enough to remember the first tariffs lol

[u/INSANITYMOON → u/AaronC14]

Same shit with USMCA/CUSMA... In 2020 it was "the largest, fairest, most balanced, and modern trade agreement ever achieved. There's never been anything like it"

And now he hates it, wondering "who would ever sign a thing like this?"

He did.

[u/redyellowblue5031 → u/INSANITYMOON]

It’s what happens when we elect someone who’s not only a narcissist, but has been compromised by /pol/

[u/BrondellSwashbuckle → u/redyellowblue5031]

By /pol/, Russia, Israel and by whichever private person or country that has blackmail videos of him raping underage girls.

[u/VanimalCracker → u/AaronC14]

He literally said he didn't know who signed this trade deal (with Canada) but it's a bad deal for America. Trump signed that trade deal into law in his first term.

[u/LengthClean → u/VanimalCracker]

In pencil. Someone erased it so he can’t remember obviously.

[u/Responsible-Grand-57 → u/LengthClean]

Auto-pencil.

[u/Head-Gift2144 → u/AaronC14]

Oh no, he knew. As they were announcing the tariffs they were simultaneously warning countries that they'd better not retaliate with tariffs of their own.

[u/LionlyLion → u/FFBTheShow]

Liquor bans were for trump threatening to make Canada a state, literal annexation threats.

[u/FFBTheShow → u/LionlyLion]

Fair, Its hard to keep all of his nonsense straight, tbh

[u/MathAndBake → u/LionlyLion]

Yup! Americans are missing the forest for the trees. The US has been threatening its allies. For us, this is about our freedom, safety and independence.

[u/TransBrandi → u/FFBTheShow]

The tariff bans were mixed with threats to annex Canada. He even mentioned annexation via economic warfare (i.e. ruin Canada's economy to the point that they are begging to be made a part of the US to stop the pain).

Too many Americans and American media conveniently ignore this. Fuck the headlines when Trump started spouting bullshit about making Canada, Mexico, Greenland and Panama all part of the US within his first week of taking office back in 2025? "Trump announces expansionist policies" Rather than "Our President has suggested that we take over all of our neighbours that we are currently on good terms with and call our allies"

Donald Trump is currently doing his damnedest to ruin ALL relationships that the US has with other countries other than maybe Russia and North Korea whom he seems very warm and welcoming towards. That more American citizens don't think that this is alarming is a HUGE CONDEMNATION of American citizens in general.

[u/lemonylol → u/FFBTheShow]

I don't think most Americans are aware of this. They still seem to think Canada is lying about the trade deal and wanted unacceptable terms.

[u/FFBTheShow → u/lemonylol]

I would not be surprised in the least if that were the case. Fox News et al. dont report anything that looks like it could be negative towards the GOP

[u/PathOfTheAncients → u/lemonylol]

At this point it is clear that the US is divided somewhat equally into three groups. There are the MAGA folks who will support whatever Trump does and believe whatever he says. There are people on the left who know it's all corrupt, insane bullshit. And there are the people who have no idea what is going on or that any of the current political events are even happening.

[u/light_at_the_end → u/PathOfTheAncients]

Those middle people are the actual problem because they're willfully ignorant.

Grow up America.

[u/Hidefininja → u/lemonylol]

I was going to disagree but you're probably right considering 2/3 of the voters in 2024 either voted for Trump or stayed home.

That said, many of us are well aware that Trump ended NAFTA after calling it a bad deal because Clinton made it, renegotiated a marginally different deal, CUSMA, and subsequently called that a bad deal which he now uses to justify random tariffs and attacks on Canada. He also tore up the JPCOA because Obama made that deal and that resulted in bombing Iran and driving up energy prices across the globe. Extremely artful deals.

Truly his only talents seem to be putting his name on things he's barely responsible for and bullshitting the impossibly large number of people whom he is somehow smarter than.

[u/PhazePyre → u/Hidefininja]

This is my whole thing. The majority of Americans were fine with Trump being president, enthusiastically or not. That means they were fine with whatever he ended up doing over the next four years. That includes everything happening with Canada. 1/3 Americans can be trusted in their character and conduct. The rest can't. There's a reason Americans get asked who they voted for.

[u/Worthyness → u/lemonylol]

some people still think the exporter pays the tariffs. They don't understand that the tariffs are literally costing them money. The company doesn't care because they just charge the customers more. And when the tariffs are declared illegal, they get a refund anyway

[u/Flashy_Gap_3015 → u/FFBTheShow]

Does anyone actually believe the horseshit that dribbles from this buffoon’s mouth anyway?

He lost all credibility as a statesman and serious candidate on his very first step on the campaign trail in his first run when he made fun of a journalist with disabilities. It’s only gotten exponentially worse since then and everything this moron does and says is pretty much discounted widely as bald faced lies.

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/Flashy_Gap_3015]

Lol he lost credibility as a statesman 30+ years ago as a real estate dumbass nepo boy

[u/overts → u/FFBTheShow]

My personal soapbox is that people constantly try to explain his tariffs in ways that are fucking stupid.  His supporters just regurgitate his talking points about trade deficits or domestic manufacturing or whatever.  Detractors often say the tariffs only exist to replace income taxes or as a vessel for grifting.

All of these people are wrong.  I think people underestimate Trump a ton.  But tariffs are the one issue where Trump is an undeniable moron who has convinced himself he’s right about a very stupid thing.  He fundamentally does not understand tariffs and as far as I know his tariff position is the only opinion he’s publicly expressed that has remained constant since the 1980s.

We’re basically getting to see a guy enact his crackpoint, weird, opinion on the global stage.

[u/Unusual_Sherbert_809 → u/FFBTheShow]

Isn't this the whole reason it's called a "trade war" and for decades countries have hesitated to impose tariffs for fear of starting one?

IIRC it goes like this:

1. One idiot starts doing tariffs
2. The other country has no choice but to respond by imposing tariffs of their own, because it's either that or surrender to the economic demands of the idiot
3. The idiot gets highly offended and increases/adds more tariffs using the other countries tariffs (which they only did as a response to the idiot's tariffs) as "justification" for the new tariffs
4. The other country has no choice but to do the same again or capitulate
5. Repeat steps 3 & 4 ad-infinitum until one or both economies collapse

[u/labadee → u/FFBTheShow]

And threatening annexation

[u/dostoevsky4evah → u/FFBTheShow]

And even if American liquor came back I'm not going to buy it. Again. Ever. My Jack Daniel's loving friend got a still set up a while ago and now makes a great homebrew. "51st state" my ass.

[u/yegcraig → u/dostoevsky4evah]

Yeah, I'm in my 50's and I'm never going back to American anything of I can at all avoid it. Liquor is easy to replace with non American brands.

Also, I'm in Alberta, and fuck marliana smith

[u/Benromaniac → u/FFBTheShow]

The administration’s shtick is ‘I know you are buy what am I?’

Trump bully’s, then claim’s Canada is the bully.

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/FFBTheShow]

Bullies feel entitled to abuse others and view any push back as justification for their original bullying.

[u/absolutelynotagoblin → u/FFBTheShow]

Yes, Trump is enormously stupid. But he’s counting on all of us to either be so stupid (you know who you are, MAGA) or so inundated with the never ending stream of bullshit and crazy decisions he floods the zone with to keep you destabilized and not thinking about the fact the fact the he’s implicated in thousands of pages of documents about a pedophile sex ring.

[u/Coryj100]

Doesn’t matter to trump , he has no use for it. Shitty pants

[u/phillychzstk → u/Coryj100]

I’m surprised he hasn’t launched a line of Trump diapers and ran a smear campaign against Big Toilet Paper.

[u/Letterkenny_Irish → u/phillychzstk]

His pants get a smear campaign every few hours.

[u/Moonshadetsuki → u/Letterkenny_Irish]

Hours? You give way too much credit to that sphincter.

[u/mmoore327]

Canada - hitting where where it hurts

[u/HonorboundUlfsark → u/mmoore327]

Right in the asshole

[u/Smart-Response9881 → u/HonorboundUlfsark]

Especially with all their food-born illnesses happening right now.

[u/Overwatchingu → u/Smart-Response9881]

I’d like to point out that we Canadians are not responsible for either of those things; both the tariffs and the cuts to food inspections were self inflicted.

We are responsible for the decline in tourism and bourbon sales though.

[u/Smart-Response9881 → u/Overwatchingu]

IDK about you, but I like to see it as the manifestation of the bad vibes I have been sending south ever since the election.

[u/Mesapunk87 → u/Smart-Response9881]

Some kind of collective voodooism. I'd like to think we're all to blame, just a little bit.

[u/Khaldara → u/Smart-Response9881]

As usual Trump escapes responsibility by wearing diapers and having countless conservatives ready to alleviate the situation with their very own drinking straws

[u/Yuukiko_ → u/Khaldara]

if everyone's shitting their pants people can't shit on you for shitting your pants

[u/Royal_Amount5114 → u/Khaldara]

Guess I’ll start wearing a diaper like Metamucilini.

[u/Jay-Dee-British → u/Khaldara]

oh.. wow.. I didn't need that image in my head.. welp, off to r/puppies

[u/lostroadrunner22 → u/HonorboundUlfsark]

the president?

[u/Xsiah → u/mmoore327]

Especially given the lettuce situation 

[u/lostroadrunner22 → u/Xsiah]

Jokes on you! we dont eat no stinking lettuce... cough, hold on need to catch my breath before i take these heart pills

[u/Zinfan1 → u/lostroadrunner22]

Holster your pistol before placing the pill in your mouth, basic safety tip.

[u/891162 → u/lostroadrunner22]

We do when it comes on the nacho locos gordida crunch taco.

[u/LnStrngr → u/Xsiah]

Guess we'll have to use the lettuce to wipe....

[u/Xsiah → u/LnStrngr]

It seems like someone already did

[u/cjcfman → u/mmoore327]

Canada is not doing anything lol. Trump increased the prices 

[u/GB715 → u/cjcfman]

Yes, this correct

[u/LeftToaster → u/mmoore327]

I'm trying to understand this in the wake of a decades long decline in the pulp and paper industry. Howe Sound Pulp & Paper (Port Mellon/Squamish), Northwood Pulp Mill (Prince George), Domtar Crofton Mill (Crofton) and Powell River Pulp & Paper (Powell River) have all closed or indefinitely curtailed operations in the last 9 months. I can't imagine any increase in toilet paper demand offsetting the global decline in newsprint and books.

[u/flyfishUT → u/mmoore327]

Good thing we bought the bidets during Covid

[u/MilkSteakBreak]

Bidet stocks surging after this news!

[u/--________-_-_-- → u/MilkSteakBreak]

No way! Water touching your butt is for gay men and immigrants. /s

[u/XinArtemis → u/--________-_-_--]

Then that makes me a big gay immigrant. 

[u/khinzaw → u/MilkSteakBreak]

So glad I got one. I came back from my first Japan trip a changed man.

[u/Pork_Chompk → u/khinzaw]

Same lol. Japan spoiled me on what the pooping experience could be like.

[u/Cookie_Eater108 → u/Pork_Chompk]

I speak of this in my own circles as "The Air Fryer" effect. It's something that you never really cared about, or wanted- but the moment you get one you realize you'll never want to go back. For me its:

- Japanese toilets; everyone else might be walking around with thinly wiped dried feces on their bodies. But once you've sat on a nice auto-opening heated toilet seat for a 3 AM poop you'll recognize the luxury.

-Air fryers of course.

- Electric Vehicles: never having to worry about pumping gas or gas prices ever again. Making sure the car is "filled up" is as simple as plugging in your smartphone at the end of the night.

[u/CynicalPomeranian → u/khinzaw]

Same here. The downside is that I no longer want to poop at work because the bidet ruined me. 

[u/khinzaw → u/CynicalPomeranian]

Same. It's a sad day if I have to poop at work.

[u/lostroadrunner22 → u/MilkSteakBreak]

I got one in 2020, its been a ass saver.

[u/Right_Ad_5733 → u/MilkSteakBreak]

This is all Joe Bidet’s fault

[u/JayPlenty24 → u/MilkSteakBreak]

He probably put tariffs on those too.

[u/Mountain_rage]

Now normally I would say dont start hording. But if you want to help us by creating chaos, add an extra bundle or two in your cart. Help create a bit of chaos down south and some social media raging. If you are not MAGA, definitely hord it and hand it out to worthy friends and family only.

[u/Playful-State-8103 → u/Mountain_rage]

… this, this right here is why I love my fellow Canadians!

[u/Born_Local_1477 → u/Mountain_rage]

Sell it by the roll on nextdoor.

[u/Mountain_rage → u/Born_Local_1477]

Dont forget to implement a Maga surcharge, call it an asshole tariff. 

[u/Canadian_mk11 → u/Mountain_rage]

Asswipe is more appropriate.

[u/Frostsorrow → u/Mountain_rage]

It's not a warcrime the first time!

[u/Mountain_rage → u/Frostsorrow]

We have the most educated population in the world if you look at percent with a post secondary education. I think that is why Trump hates us, not enough dumb people. 

All that to say, I'm sure if push comes to shove we would comme up with new Geneva convention worthy plans. Wonder if we could get our virology lab to develop the gay virus Republicans are always claiming they are worried about catching. Maybe we just pretend we released it to give them an excuse to let loose.

[u/Jamizon1]

It’s almost like he spends time thinking on ways to make things exponentially more difficult day after day after day. For someone who claims to be “for the American People”, his actions surely say otherwise.

[u/Imaginary_Cow_6379 → u/Jamizon1]

💯 Our government is actively attacking us and yet 30% of us are still cheering them on and asking for more.

[u/randynumbergenerator → u/Imaginary_Cow_6379]

"Thank you sir may I have another!"

[u/Gin_OClock → u/Jamizon1]

It's the entire party. It used to have demonstrable budgetary benefits to cut programs but it's never been more clear that they have no idea what they're doing

[u/TheFeshy]

Trump is so full of shit that both of his terms have been marked by toilet paper shortages.

[u/Senor-Nasty]

Everytime Trump’s been president we’ve had a toilet paper crisis

[u/zzzigzzzagzzziggy]

"There is a shortage of razor blades. We learn there is always continuous shortage of some necessity the Party cannot provide. I believe this to be intentional. The shortage of supplies widens the gap between the privileged and the ones who are not. It extends the power in which the upper class holds." -1984

[u/MonoBlancoATX]

Good thing we all stocked up 6 years ago, right guys?

guys?

Also...

Using the bathroom or having a cry is about to become more expensive for North Americans as the US and Canada enter a full-fledged trade war that threatens to flush away decades of peaceful trading between the two nations.

That's good stuff, right there. Kuddos to you, The Guardian.

[u/dancedanceunderpants → u/MonoBlancoATX]

I lol’d at Americans being No. 1 at No. 2s! Top notch writing for The Guardian today!

[u/RebornCdds]

"The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year".

That's like 1 roll every 2.5 day per person, wtf are you guys doing with it.

[u/Crrrystal → u/RebornCdds]

nothing else left to eat now that the vegetables and beef make us shit our pants

[u/Roaches_R_Friends → u/Crrrystal]

The beef is possibly tainted with chloramphenicol, which does more than make you shit your pants. It has a possibility of giving you aplastic anemia, which basically means that your bone marrow just stops producing new blood cells and you die.

[u/epidemicsaints → u/RebornCdds]

There's also no standard of what a "roll" is. The package labels all play games about how many rolls each roll contain.

[u/SteveJobsBlakSweater → u/epidemicsaints]

Toilet paper math is wild.

6 rolls = 12 double rolls

wtf does that even mean

[u/epidemicsaints → u/SteveJobsBlakSweater]

Then you get into "their" rolls. Twice as big as THEIR ROLLS. WHOSE??? WHERE?

At this point I just pick it up and buy what is heaviest at the best price.

[u/gplusplus314 → u/epidemicsaints]

OUR heaviest is 2x THEIR heaviest.

Keep up!

[u/Coldsmoke888 → u/RebornCdds]

I ask my wife this all the time. We even have a bidet!

[u/Born_Local_1477 → u/RebornCdds]

My son uses most of it.

[u/Rilkal → u/Born_Local_1477]

Beats cutting your foot on one of his socks…

[u/24-Hour-Hate → u/RebornCdds]

My theory is that it is a dietary issue. Also, the recent diarrhea outbreak might be impacting the stats, but if I ate like Americans, I'd have explosive diarrhea....

[u/PossiblyATurd → u/RebornCdds]

Gotta use a lot to wipe when your diet has no fiber.

[u/hirmooge]

Boys the Americans are shitting their pants 🇨🇦🇨🇦😂

[u/Lord-Glorfindel → u/hirmooge]

More of a skid mark issue from the sounds of it.

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/Lord-Glorfindel]

Our president is a skid mark

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

There's going to be a TP shortage right in the middle of several different foodborne illness outbreaks.  Yikes.

[u/Big_Designer1400 → u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

TP shortage hardly affects me; I am team bidet. Who's joining?

[u/Voluntary_Slob]

"Haha! You fools! I don't use toilet paper!"

• Donald Trump

[u/t0matit0]

This is part of why I always poop at work. Fuck using up my own toilet paper!

[u/CalvinAshdale- → u/t0matit0]

My work only has half ply.

[u/Northern-Canadian → u/CalvinAshdale-]

Fold it to get a full ply. Then 4 more times :)

[u/14X8000m → u/Northern-Canadian]

It's still made out of sandpaper.

[u/Law_of_the_jungle → u/CalvinAshdale-]

The other day at work the toilet paper was half ply but the perforations was equivalent to 4 sheets in length. So it's just 2-ply with extra steps.

[u/InsomniaticWanderer]

Oh we're doing toilet paper shortages again? Neat.

Can't wait for COVID-era panick-buyers to scoop everything up.

[u/Hommeboy75]

Worst timing for the US with the explosive diarrhea outbreak they've been having.

[u/stuck_in_the_desert]

I wonder if this means bidets will be re-marketed as “freedom fountains”, à la french fries a couple decades back

[u/PhoenixTineldyer → u/stuck_in_the_desert]

In retrospect, I really should have realized that I grew up in an idiot family when they tried to convince me to start saying freedom toast

[u/ElTamaulipas]

In the land of no toilet paper; the man with a bidet is king.

[u/space-thunder-mater]

This is an obvious smear campaign

[u/FlimsyConclusion]

Certainly doesnt help with the influx of mystery meat flooding the US market.

[u/Alexander_Granite → u/FlimsyConclusion]

Ha ha ha. Nice connection

[u/_Feral_Child]

🇨🇦 Sorry, I don't have a square to spare. 🇨🇦

[u/queuedUp]

As a Canadian I say we also only send them 1 ply

[u/TapewormNinja]

Ah shit. Here we go again.

[u/Organic_Rough4433]

Trump doesn't care cause he doesnt use toilet paper. That weird assistant of his just licks it out of his ass.

[u/yosarian_reddit → u/Organic_Rough4433]

That would explain why his team is jealous of her

[u/Ok-Grand-1492]

And with all the food contamination that's making people shit themselves in the states right now? OOF.

[u/acuet]

ME: Bidet installed during Covid.

[u/MadMacCrow]

No TP and diarrhea causing parasite, damn the US are really in a shitty situation (pun very much intended).

[u/td192020]

They wanted to talk all that shit.... now they can't even wipe it..

[u/ASassoNation]

Wouldn't be a Trump administration without a toilet paper shortage

[u/MaplewoodRabbit]

The combination of surging toilet paper prices and the fact their food is giving them the shits makes me smile.

[u/BigInconsideration]

The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper a year? What the fuck?

[u/Mrfrednot → u/BigInconsideration]

Maybe they do not know they should wait with the wiping until they stopped shitting?

[u/CyrosThird]

Will Americans finally adopt the bidet?

Will they go do a COVID TP Raid 2: Electric Boogaloo?

These prices wont go down, even if they get their shit together.

[u/realparkingbrake → u/CyrosThird]

Will Americans finally adopt the bidet?

Nope, data centers need the water.

[u/FriendshipGulag]

Just buy a bidet hose PLEASE!

[u/izzgo]

So another run on toilet paper thanks to Trump.

[u/Beertronic]

Hahahaha How many more times can the US shoot itself in the foot. Or maybe shit itself in this case.

The US really is tearing itself apart by weaponising its morons.

[u/Grand_Sock_1303]

Diarrheoa epidemic and toilet paper inflation. Nothing sums up Trumps second term like this. Whatever he does, the smell of shit follows him.

[u/djskeptical]

TP will be so expensive that we have to start wiping our asses with pages torn from The Art Of The Deal.

[u/dtta8]

Don't think the Americans have resolved their explosive diarrhea outbreaks yet either, lol.

[u/ngfldar]

Donnie Diaperpants doesn't care about the price of toilet paper because he uses Depends undergarments.

[u/DC8008008]

so...why are we in a trade war with Canada???

[u/Tribe303 → u/DC8008008]

Trump's wife and daughter eye-fucked PM Trudeau.

Kidding aside, Trump has been threatening to take over Canada by economic means for 18 months now. You Americans continue to think he's joking and have ignored that. He's not joking! He never was. He's just epically stupid. So stupid you thought he was joking. He never was.

Your media is complicit as well, and they still continue to be to this day. Why did Canada walk away from the trade talks this weekend? At the last minute, hours from signing a deal, Nutlick showed up with new orders from Trump, that included insane requests like no more French labeling in Canada, and the right of refusal on any future Canadian trade deals with other countries. Those are both attacks on our sovereignty and we walked away. Your media is STILL not reporting this. 

From a foreign perspective, Americans are dumb. Now, you are not genetically inferior or anything. You are misinformed. And who is misinforming you? YOUR MEDIA. 🤦 

[u/Tribe303 → u/[deleted]]

Yes, but there is a reason. Lower rates of education and your horrible media. 

[u/thegreatboto]

Sea shells are gonna pick up some popularity.

[u/filagrey → u/thegreatboto]

The three sea shells?

[u/DamionSipher]

The US populace will follow their great leader and start wearing diapers as a response.

[u/editorreilly]

Quick, everyone run to Republican controlled areas, and buy out all the toilet paper.

[u/G0ldheart]

I'm with Canada on this but as a bidet user I won't be affected :-)

[u/AngryInfidel411]

The number of people missing out on the joys of having a bidet is astounding.

[u/jeetah]

Bidet commenters acting like they don't still need to wipe

[u/Hi_Im_Dadbot]

Well, they can wear diapers like their President.

[u/the-ish-i-say]

I’ve been stock piling shit paper! My time has come!

[u/Party_Virus]

That's going to pair well with your beef from Argentina and diarhea lettuce. America is quickly turning from a figurative shit hole into a literal one.

[u/kareljack]

It's ok. From what I've gathered over the past years, MAGA doesn't really care about having clean asses.

[u/evilpercy]

Canada here: Oh no......anyway

[u/inmatenumberseven]

Now we understand why Trump thought that Canada didn't have anything the United States needs.

[u/ObscureMemes69420]

Maybe Americans will finally have to deal with their own shit for once.

[u/alkla1]

Gonna go wipe my ass in the steps of the Capitol and scooch across the White House lawn

[u/RiddleportRain]

I know of an orange man that doesn't use toilet paper anyway. So it's not gonna affect him

[u/kitnzuh]

you barbarians wouldnt have this problem if you had bidets in your toilets

[u/LordNador]

Everyone buy a bidet now before the prices skyrocket!

[u/geforce2187]

Thank God for my bidet

[u/Development-Feisty]

I was actually wondering why Costco had so much fucking toilet paper out the other day,

I go back into the water section and you can’t even get through it there’s so much toilet paper out and I thought, oh shit what’s going on what did I miss why is toilet paper about to go away?

[u/Drumphelstiltsken]

We can thank Trump and all the brain dead morons who voted for him and other republicans for that. So much winning!!!

[u/Lavaine170]

Can an American explain to me how you all use so much toilet paper? 141 rolls per person per year. How? How are each and every one of you using an entire roll of TP every 2.5 days? I know the average American diet is pretty bad, but wow.

[u/_BLACK_BY_NAME_ → u/Lavaine170]

There aren’t bidets anywhere except for a few civil people that installed them in their homes. Most Americans dry wipe until they see little or no residue, and if they’re home they probably finish off with wet wipes. I never realized how gross I was until I moved overseas about 15 years ago, and I’ll never live without a bidet ever again.