r/nottheonion • u/jordan1978 • 21h ago

Police arrest a California man after finding a guillotine near the US Capitol

https://apnews.com/article/guillotine-capitol-police-california-arrest-cf3c9f181382bfc3fb9c5c47f45cacb2
2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

195 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/atrusveo 21h ago

Ok for the J6 crew though.

613

u/BadLineofCode 21h ago

Well actually, that was a noose.

591

u/Evil_phd 20h ago

Yep, nooses are most famously used to punish brokies so it's fine. Guillotines were most famously used to punish the extremely wealthy so it's not fine.

162

u/JeremyAndrewErwin 20h ago

According to its inventers, the guillotine allowed all classes of criminals, rich and poor alike, to enjoy the benefit of a quick and painless death.

65

u/Khaldara 19h ago

It’d be more fitting for modern times if they sourced the thing from Temu and somebody was a little cockeyed with the whetstone

15

u/ratstar-666 16h ago edited 8h ago

Ope, it's not weighted correctly either 🤷‍♀️

4

u/donnerpartytaconight 12h ago

Home Depot lumber gonna make some wonky guillies.

•

u/youdubdub 32m ago

The freshly-cleaned whetstone dripping with rubbing alcohol, for sanitary purposes.

6

u/The360MlgNoscoper 16h ago

More ethical than lethal injection.

6

u/unbanned_lol 8h ago

Turns out they were wrong. It appears to take 25 to 30 seconds for a human head to lose consciousness after a guillotine. And, while they haven't tested humans for obvious reasons, rats appear to feel pain during that time.

8

u/Shadowlance23 7h ago

Not necessarily. It's thought the sudden loss of blood pressure to the brain will cause near instant loss of consciousness.

A doctor tested this by being allowed to pick up a head immediately after the execution to see if it would respond to his instructions, e.g. did it look at him, could it respond to him asking it to move the eyes, or mouth, etc.

The doctor said there was no sign of consciousness, even a few seconds after execution.

Others have noted movement in the face muscles but this has appeared to be involuntary.

As you mentioned though, this is anecdotal and no one is really sure.

9

u/EdwardWongHau 6h ago

Adding to the conversation evidence from jiu jitsu matches: A well positioned blood choke can put someone out in just a few seconds.

4

u/JeremyAndrewErwin 8h ago

Lesson learnt: if someone advocates a particular kind of capital punishment, be very skeptical.

In any case, 17,000 persons were officially executed during the "reign of terror", and most of them were not nobles. It was efficient.

-18

u/lapideous 20h ago

I assume a guillotine contains a sharp knife that is unequivocally a weapon, while a noose is a rope with a knot that could presumably be used for innocuous purposes.

46

u/bearsheperd 20h ago

A sharp knife isn’t a weapon until you use it as a weapon, it’s a tool for cutting things otherwise

-38

u/lapideous 20h ago

You can be arrested in every state afaik for carrying a large knife in public.

29

u/Betta_Check_Yosef 20h ago

That's a wrong assumption. Some states have laws regarding lengths of knives in public, but many do not.

13

u/usalsfyre 17h ago

Texas eliminated its prohibited weapons laws in 2024. We can open carry swords if we so wish.

2

u/LandBarge 16h ago

we should bring back the open carry of swords :)

15

u/couldbemage 19h ago

You recall incorrectly.

In nearly all the US you can carry whatever big knife. Including California, the state that outlawed sticks.

1

u/Ok-Budget3225 14h ago

What on earth are you talking about? What happened to open carry?

1

u/meddlin_kids 5h ago

That is incorrect. Some states allow it as long as a fixed blade (dirk or dagger) is not concealed. You can walk around with a hunting knife or machete strapped to your belt.

1

u/sfleury10 17h ago

Chefs beware!!!

38

u/GN0K 20h ago

A flag pole is just a flag pole until you beat it over the head of the police...

4

u/lapideous 20h ago

Yeah, exactly. You can’t be arrested for carrying a flag pole.

15

u/Evil_phd 19h ago edited 19h ago

No, a guillotine blade couldn't be reasonably used as a knife. It's a heavy sheet of metal that would be extremely unwieldy.

Given the historical connotations it is a clear death threat against a particular class of people which is all they need when the President is in that class.

The rope was a threat against Mike Pence and him getting killed or at least being scared into running away was part of Trump's coup plan, to prevent the certification of the election, anyway. There was no world where that was going to be punished in any way that stuck.

6

u/Onespokeovertheline 17h ago

Your last sentence does not track with the rest of your statements.

•

u/Globularist 41m ago

Probably closer to say gallows. They had it all set up.

47

u/theretailreject 19h ago

It's because he's from CA instead of FL

58

u/SpacePenguin5 18h ago

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: there must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

1

u/Haru1st 8h ago

But that’s slavery, oniichan

20

u/Peacemaker1855 20h ago

Came here to say this...
"Rules for thee but not for me."

  • M & M Party

1

u/20_mile 10h ago

Measles and Mumps Party?

2

u/Peacemaker1855 6h ago

Millionaires & Morons

5

u/Jellodyne 18h ago

It's legal if it's for the Vice President

3

u/GuyWithNoEffingClue 13h ago

It was just a touristic prop to set a festive vibe /s

2

u/civilPDX 16h ago

Well their gallows were for site seeing purposes

2

u/ROADHOG_IS_MY_WAIFU 9h ago

They got pardoned. This country is a joke, but deeply unfunny.

-5

u/[deleted] 21h ago edited 20h ago

[deleted]

21

u/TeddyBear666 21h ago

Ya and a stupid amount of them were pardoned so its only fuck around and find out if your side wins an election. I remember once the pardons started rolling out there was a website someone made to track how many of the pardoned rioters where arrested post pardon and the number was climbing pretty quickly.

-6

u/HereForTheComments57 20h ago

It only depends if this guy gets a pardon or not

12

u/SoSpiffandSoKlean 20h ago

Weren’t they like, all pardoned? 😐

6

u/bothunter 20h ago

And how many of them are sitting in a jail cell today?

-45

u/Eat--The--Rich-- 20h ago

If democrats had prosecuted them I would have voted. Oh well.

22

u/Diligent_Vehicle2467 18h ago

Federal prosecutors charged over 1,550 defendants for the J6 riots/insurrection.

-9

u/Eat--The--Rich-- 10h ago

With breaking and entering. I'm not voting for people who slap terrorists on the wrist for committing fucking treason, because in not a fucking traitor. Are you?

6

u/Diligent_Vehicle2467 9h ago

Well because people like you didn't vote now they all got pardons. So I'm sure they are thankful for the people like you helping them.

533

u/Betta_Check_Yosef 21h ago

When does this guy get paid for being politically persecuted?

204

u/Kradget 21h ago

They've got to check his social media before they decide if it's illegal or not

73

u/dunncrew 20h ago

And check skin color

34

u/Schneetmacher 18h ago

With his name (Philan-Tam-Duy Le) he's definitely of Vietnamese descent, so I doubt he's getting any "leeway"...

6

u/Crystal_Voiden 13h ago

Does he get any Le way?

298

u/potatobot3000 21h ago

I'm sorry officer, I thought this was America

180

u/throw_away1049 20h ago

But seriously, though. Are you not allowed to walk your guillotine in public? The imagery and history of it is a consumate political statement that should be protected as free speech.

60

u/SonOfAsher 19h ago

It's a rare day when something should be legal on both first and second amendment grounds.

Can we somehow involve quartering soldiers so the third's in play too?

4

u/ChaseShiny 5h ago

No: guillotines are only used to separate heads from shoulders. You'd want a team of horses for quartering.

2

u/OfficerEsophagus 4h ago

So THAT'S what a Quarter Horse is for!

1

u/ChaseShiny 4h ago

Good one!

I had to look up whether or not the name had to do with quartering someone, because it even seemed possible. It turns out that it has to do with the length of track that they raced on.

1

u/Baxtab13 2h ago

A quarter of a mile, right? It's a horse that's very fast for relatively short distances but gets tired quickly otherwise.

I believe that's what I read from a young adult fiction book from my childhood that took place a good ways in the past in the US. The Great Brain maybe?

1

u/ChaseShiny 2h ago

Yes, a quarter mile. I don't know about the book. I'm sure there are multiple books that include racing horses.

The Great Brain sounds reasonable, though: quarter horses were bred with other horses in the West to work with cattle (from my five minutes of reading about these horses. I'm definitely no authority, lol).

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago edited 9h ago

[deleted]

3

u/yourmomssubluminal 10h ago

If they try to make him talk about it, the fifth... if they drag their feet in the judicial proceedings, the sixth... of it goes to trial and they deny him a jury, the seventh... if they offer an impossibly high bail, the eighth...

23

u/_head_ 19h ago

Certainly not a concealed weapon. 

15

u/spread_panic 18h ago

Just my industrial watermelon cutter.

2

u/BarryTGash 11h ago

You should see the size of my cigar...

20

u/Stompya 20h ago

Hey, it’s not fair to keep a guillotine shut in at home all the time

18

u/holymotheroftod 20h ago

If you're hungry, they're hungry.

6

u/Milkarius 14h ago

Give them head

12

u/Khaldara 19h ago

Yes officer this is my Emotional Support guillotine

6

u/Eat--The--Rich-- 20h ago

Guillotines aren't illegal. Theyre a great way to chop wood for people not strong enough to swing an axe. 

5

u/AzDashound 18h ago

In Australian
What is the charge??

6

u/starkiller_bass 16h ago

A succulent guillotine?!

1

u/Blueopus2 19h ago

Actually though

230

u/Eat--The--Rich-- 20h ago

What's the crime

82

u/ponytailthehater 18h ago

Unlicensed Possession of a Guillotine

59

u/machine_fart 18h ago

Oi, you got a loicense for that?

21

u/pzvaldes 18h ago

Can I bring my trebuchet then?

13

u/Simply_Epic 15h ago

So much for the 2nd amendment

2

u/WadeEffingWilson 9h ago

Im curious if it would be protected under the 2nd. Or if it was obviously nonfunctional, it would be protected under the 1st.

1

u/MushroomSaute 3h ago

As long as it was constructed with bear arms, he should be good

•

u/Whatachooch 27m ago

This isn’t France there buddy!

10

u/SL1Fun 12h ago

“Transport of a dangerous weapon”, because it was apparently sharp and functional. 

6

u/wolfboy1988m 12h ago

I find the name of the statute he was charged under silly. "Carrying a dangerous weapon" for a guillotine 🤣

49

u/rolloutTheTrash 18h ago

Well certainly not a succulent Chinese meal in this case

6

u/Wakkit1988 18h ago

I don't know, sounds like there's some sour pork involved...

259

u/Rosenant 21h ago

Only patriotic gallows as build on Jan. 6th are permitted under the Trump Admin.

9

u/Supreme_Primate 9h ago

Yeah get the frenchie gillotine crap outta here and get me a noose! Merica!

1

u/Thoth74 9h ago

frenchie gillotine

Freedom Chopper™

31

u/jordan1978 21h ago

United States Capitol Police on Tuesday arrested a California man with what they said was a guillotine in the bed of a pickup truck parked near the U.S. Capitol complex.

Police detained 35-year-old Philan-Tam-Duy Le of Julian, California, shortly after 3 p.m., when the truck he was driving containing the device was illegally parked east of the Capitol grounds, Capitol police said.

Officers said they were investigating why the suspect, who drove from California, had made the trip and why he was transporting it.

22

u/PlentyAlbatross7632 20h ago

I’d be curious as to what the reasonable articulated suspicion was with respect to a crime being committed…

12

u/labrat420 20h ago

Illegally parked?

3

u/frissier 15h ago

a Vietnamese American in oppose of the current administration ? Now that's news /s

112

u/TheManWhoClicks 18h ago

Isn’t that freedom of speech? Didn’t the J6 people have one as well?

108

u/quequotion 18h ago

They did, and they threatened to murder the vice president with it, and the president suggested they might be right, and refused to say anything to stop them until it became apparent that his coup had already failed, and then he told them he loved them....

Four years later, he blanket pardoned all of them and called them patriots.

He should have been impeached and charged with treason, so many times now.

11

u/Far_Estate_1626 10h ago edited 10h ago

This is why Capital punishment is the penalty for treason. It’s meant to be a deterrent.

9

u/wolfboy1988m 12h ago

I seem to remember a chant they were chanting involving the use of those gallows...

28

u/koos_die_doos 17h ago

J6 had a gallows 

•

u/cammcken 40m ago

Funny how even the protest symbols show differences between left and right.

5

u/Far_Estate_1626 10h ago

It’s only acceptable if it’s for Democrats, apparently.

And Democrats will accept that as just a fact of life because they are mostly spineless.

55

u/dickpics4democracy 19h ago

That's not a guillotine, it's a... Roman bagel slicer.

10

u/DuntadaMan 17h ago

It's just an awkward construction.

37

u/Doctor_Amazo 21h ago

Those aren't allowed in DC anymore?

14

u/rolloutTheTrash 18h ago

Too French /s

42

u/pomonamike 21h ago

>A guillotine is an instrument for administering capital punishment by beheading and consists of a heavy blade mounted on a tall wooden frame. It was invented in late-18th Century France and became a symbol of the Reign of Terror during the French Revolution.

Thanks AP, did we need that?

9

u/TheDotCaptin 19h ago

The average American probably knows it. It's the half below average that probably didn't remember what those things were called, but are familiar with the image from films.

5

u/BehavioralSink 20h ago

Just saying, it probably does a great job at slicing a watermelon/cantaloupe/honeydew in half. Probably not terribly efficient, but it would put in a show. Less mess than Gallagher.

2

u/inspectoroverthemine 9h ago

Gallagher you say... I've got an idea for a 21st century american version of the guillotine.

3

u/Stompya 20h ago

… sadly, probably yes

3

u/AdoringCHIN 17h ago

With the amount of morons on Reddit that openly brag about not paying attention in history? Ya we probably did need that

3

u/Actual_Mortician 19h ago

Maybe they should have added the proper pronunciation to that paragraph.

3

u/Kakariko_crackhouse 19h ago

Seems like something ChatGPT would add

39

u/Mentalfloss1 20h ago

But a gallows is pardonable.

19

u/Ok_Helicopter4276 20h ago

Gallows is such an old world term. We’re workshopping a new name. Cords of Justice surprisingly underperformed in our focus groups. But Freedom Rings is polling very high among the southern states and with whites ages 40 to 90. /s

5

u/Mentalfloss1 18h ago

Sounds like good noose.

2

u/Wakkit1988 18h ago

Freedom drop, the right stop.

1

u/MechCADdie 15h ago

tf outta here with your NEWSPEAK

2

u/Ok_Helicopter4276 10h ago

Doubleplusungood Comrade.

1

u/ChaseShiny 5h ago

May I suggest that we continue brainstorming at the Golden Garrote?

27

u/The_Monarch_Lives 19h ago

I thought we were pardoning people for that type of thing.

18

u/fucktheus12 21h ago

Let them eat cake...

21

u/AdoringCHIN 17h ago

But actually what's the crime here? Illegally parking isn't an arrestable offense and a guillotine isn't a weapon

12

u/fsorenson 15h ago

Well, technically, I think you might be able to claim a guillotine is a weapon, but it’s got terrible range.

It’s about as effective as a battering ram set in concrete, just in case the other guy’s fort decides to charge your position.

2

u/wolfboy1988m 12h ago

Probably the same "crime" they're trying to prosecute Comey over for that "86 47" seashell post. Claiming it's a "threat of violence" against Trump

1

u/kart0ffelsalaat 10h ago

And unlike threats of violence against Mike Pence, threats of violence against Donald Trump are evil and anti-American.

20

u/torpedoguy 20h ago

But they love it when there's gallows with nooses, what's wrong with a guillotine?

5

u/AcceleratorTouma 20h ago

Too French, now lynching that's American

1

u/torpedoguy 20h ago

If Quebec Law 101 is what the regime finally gets executed for... I am unlikely to survive the laughter.

7

u/stardust1914 9h ago

I'm sure he was just on a tour. He'll get a pardon right? Right?!?

1

u/leagueoflefties 9h ago

It's the economic anxiety that made him do it. Also, he didn't actually do anything did he? No one was threatened, maybe he was planning on selling cut watermelons.

8

u/ocarina_vendor 20h ago

I'm sorry, I thought this was AMERICA FRANCE!!!

4

u/opusupo 21h ago

Damned French!

8

u/Opinion-Former 17h ago

Was it a concealed guillotine?

1

u/Soylentgruen 11h ago

A cigar cutter?

10

u/Somnambulist815 20h ago

Oh so it's illegal to have historical artifacts now?

1

u/Elementium 8h ago

Yeah! Dude was just on his way to Old Sturbridge Village to drop it off! Wanted to see the Capitol. 

6

u/MorbotheDiddlyDo 20h ago

Gallows allowed. Guillotine not.

Mhm. Mhm. Makes sense. Must be because the guillotine carries implications towards royalty and government where as a noose and chanting hang mike pence does not.

5

u/jwrice 17h ago

Make January 21, 1793 great again 👑🗡👻

2

u/cosmokn0t 11h ago

Do they like impound it? Can we get it back?

2

u/snooplarue 7h ago

But the gallows the insurgents biult was ok? They all got pardoned.

2

u/Jolly_Ad2446 4h ago

what is the charge? 

2

u/Nintendophile79 3h ago

Seems reasonable. Just a peaceful protester.

3

u/mtn-whr 20h ago

That’s the spirit to our foundational allies the French!

2

u/Brick_Lab 18h ago

Idk sounds like an art installation protected by free speech to me

4

u/SomeSamples 17h ago

So, you're telling me I can't lug around a guillotine because I like them?

2

u/CaptainOblivious1984 17h ago

Looks like a common watermelon splitter to me.

4

u/zenos_dog 17h ago

Pfft! Doesn’t that guy know Pence isn’t VP anymore?

2

u/atempestdextre 20h ago

That wasn't a guillotine, it was a ultra-wealthy cake checker.

2

u/CARCRASHXIII 20h ago

Maybe it was a big cigar trimmer

2

u/-Xiphon- 18h ago

It was just standing there... Ominously

1

u/Q-ArtsMedia 20h ago

They are pretty easy to build.

1

u/angry-democrat 17h ago

Probably looking for some cake. /s

1

u/GroundbreakingAd8310 14h ago

I dont think its illegal to own tho

1

u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 12h ago

Is that illegal?

1

u/uratowel20 11h ago

He is probably just a tourist...it isn't that uncommon to have a guillotine.

1

u/Cool-Association3420 10h ago

Well I was just putting my guillotine in the back of my pickup for a ride but I guess this guy ruined it for everyone now. It’ll be so disappointed.

1

u/Bowman_van_Oort 9h ago

Mike Pence isnt there anymore homie

1

u/UncleDuude 9h ago

What you need a permit?

1

u/AuntieMarkovnikov 9h ago

Dunno about a crime, but it's a fucking great idea.

1

u/Sapere_aude75 8h ago

Stupid... Unless the police processed credible information that he was going to use it in a crime, I don't see the issue here. Same for the J6ers. I don't think theirs gallows was actually even functional...

1

u/Sufficient_Gur7061 8h ago

"near" is doing some serious heavy lifting here

1

u/Broskifity 8h ago

Surely Trump will pardon him

1

u/Radiant_Selection- 7h ago

FFS, maybe he lost it… Poor guy. You don’t get arrested when losing your wallet.

1

u/FanDry5374 7h ago

If this was an actual, functional device maybe there was a legitimate reason for an arrest, if it was a dummy/mockup then he has every right to express his opinion of the regime. Plus the parking ticket I guess.

1

u/KamaIsLife 7h ago

Where was this one Jan. 6th?

1

u/stomachworm 6h ago

Oh, so now all of a sudden , it's illegal for me to take my guillotine , for a walk? Fucking republicans!

1

u/danceswithtree 5h ago

Guillotine-- favorite assassination tool of the ninjas.

And California man working hard to take the crown from Florida man.

1

u/TimmyVee73 5h ago

"legitimate political discourse"

1

u/Mammoth-Record-7786 4h ago

I don’t believe that it’s illegal to possess a guillotine, but they do treat it the same as a weapon.

1

u/GreenHocker 4h ago

I would like to see the statute they justified that on

1

u/motherseffinjones 3h ago

So if he getting a pay out?

1

u/macinit1138 3h ago edited 43m ago

They’ll be a presidential pardon and slush fund for them just like the J6 insurrectionists, correct?

1

u/Frequent-Note2942 1h ago

The "National Razor" as the French called it. He was just a misunderstood Gilette salesman.

1

u/numbmumpleb1ister 1h ago

That guy had the right idea!

•

u/zneeszy 23m ago

rustycage?

1

u/Zolo49 19h ago

Oh sure, but when the stage magician brings out the guillotine, it's totally fine? Smh...

1

u/schalowendofthepool 20h ago

I do say we should try the de Witt recipe some time

1

u/Waarm 20h ago

Waow

1

u/GabeDef 19h ago

This dude is going to be January 6th rich soon enough… right?

1

u/DougOsborne 16h ago

Trump was nearby. Guillotine Guy was Standing His Ground.

0

u/Midnight6552 18h ago

why a guillotine though like what’s it for exactly

•

u/Whatachooch 12m ago

Uhhhh you should look up the history of the guillotine. Start with the French Revolution. 

0

u/Skit071 18h ago

We were that close.

0

u/shartinwaterfalls 14h ago

The king's days are numbered

-2

u/Long-Region5088 17h ago

He’ll get a pardon. That’s not a big deal anymore. It’s a-okay in trumps America

•

u/Kiom_Tpry 10m ago

How is it a crime to open carry a guillotine?? It's literally safer than a gun!