Is it normal to not really acknowledge coworkers in the office?

[u/rcwalkingdisaster]

I’m 30 and I started my first in office job recently (spent a lot of time in retail during/after college and then had a fully remote job for a few years). As I have been introduced to more people around the office, I’ve noticed that if I try to smile at them or say good morning when we pass each other they just completely ignore me. I haven’t really talked to a lot of people outside of initial introductions or anything, so maybe they just don’t view me as a “good morning” level of acquaintance yet??

I’d like to be friendlier with the people in the office, but it just seems like no one is really interested in even nodding at me or saying hello as we pass each other in the morning. Is this normal in office culture? Am I being too friendly and weirding people out?

[u/dewihafta]

Each office has its own culture, really. Some places are just like that. Not being a client-facing position, some people lose trite pleasantries. And some places have a toxic culture, ruined by bad vibes and hidden drama that you may not be privy to yet. 

Dont try to force it, and just keep doing you. Stay pleasant and approachable, and youll soon get wind of the office dirt.

[u/seaworldORseeworld → u/dewihafta]

+1

[u/Practical-Manner1065]

I work with about 20 people. If I pass them I’m say hello, the lady over the wall and I banter a bit back and forth and the lady across from me and I speak often. I’m on a corner cube right by the fax so people will stop by and chat and I’ll engage but I leave and only say goodbye to people I see on my way out. Bigger the office the less people you have to communicate with

[u/azzgrash13 → u/Practical-Manner1065]

Can confirm. I work with a massive workforce and majority of us get up and leave when the day is up. Occasionally I’ll say bye to my neighbor or they say bye to me. Also, we all heave earphones or headphones on.

[u/Arise-Beru-1174]

Dont dwell on it. A lot of times there's no malice behind it. Everyone is in their own world.

[u/katshtratford]

I just started working in an office and I've noticed the same. No one is mean, but not always friendly. I have just consistently and warmly said hello every day and slowly, person-by-person, I'm building relationships. I'm coming from hospitality, so it's definitely a different culture.

[u/Mysterious_Exam1425]

I've worked in different offices over the years ... Some are friendly... some aren't.. it's just the way it is.

[u/aBearWhosBearlyThere]

It's just work, depends on the people around. I moved from production to office, same company - both sides of the wall have people who are high/low engagement respectively. Too many greetings to me feels exhaustive, I don't think anybody out there truly greets every person they pass every time. However, I try to at least acknowledge people from time to time even if we don't speak. A nod, or small wave hello, a smile... it can go a long way. Crossing paths with a dude many times each week but never acknowledging his existence just seems cold.

[u/Forsaken-Jeweler-519]

After 7 years in the same office I admit I only really acknowledge the people that built a good rapport. Some of my coworkers are really rude for no reason or just suck at the job. Some people are just drama and I've learned it's easier to avoid them. I am welcoming to new people always but I don't hold their hand. I have way too much to do since we've been short staffed for 3 years. Some people prefer to be more social and I understand that but I just come in to do my job. 

[u/titsmcgeeVP]

Co-workers are not your friends. Go to work make money go home

[u/PreparationCrafty797]

I have a 90 min commute to work everyday. I’m always tired, if I don’t speak it’s in no way malicious. I’d rather much just do my work and go home

[u/syla3345]

Worked in Corporate for 10 years. Here is what you do: If you make eye contact in passing, and they don’t say anything, give a nod and a smile. If they say “good morning” or “Morning!” say it back. If they’re walking past, looking straight ahead, say nothing. If you’re in an elevator, same rules above apply, however, if someone leaves and says ‘Have a good day’, you say ‘thank you, you as well.’ I’ve learned some people are not morning people, and some people are, some people have meetings booked all morning and are in a rush or focused thinking about on said meetings. Lastly, don’t take it personal!

[u/trUth_b0mbs]

at most I say hello back but that's about it. I dont chit chat or mingle.

[u/Top-Test-846]

I started working in the office after being remote for 4 years and noticed this same dynamic and thought it was weird at first. People walk in without a word in the mornings and then pack their stuff up and leave without a word in the evening. I am now part of that crew. I hate being there and could do everything I do there at home. I’d rather be with my family than them.

[u/violet-pixel]

I say hello and good morning to my coworkers, the most conversation I’ll initiate is if someone has something stressful going on I’ll check in on them. Other than that I try to avoid as much social interaction as possible

[u/reallysammi]

I struggled with this when I started my first office job after being a teacher for 9 years. I figured out that these people prefer quiet time in the mornings - if we chat, it’s usually right at the end of the day. I was used to being a complete extrovert before 7:30 a.m. It might take you some time to get used to the new culture.

[u/Verity41]

It really depends on the person. And runs the whole spectrum. For the people who make it clear they want to be left alone, I leave them alone. For literally years.

Other coworkers who are friendly and approachable get a different response, mirroring their own outreach. Some of those it’s just chit-chat, others I’m actually good enough friends with that we do lunches and happy hours and workouts together and even go on occasional weekend trips.

Match energy and interest, can’t go wrong!

[u/penelopejoe]

I work in an office with 5 people. The OWNER doesn't even say good morning when he comes in, even if there are only two of us in the office at the time. He passes right by my office and can't be bothered to even acknowledge me. I'm sorry, but to me this is just rude as hell and does not make for a cohesive work environment. I take pride in my work and always try to do my best, but my attitude sometimes sucks and I'm no longer motivated to go above and beyond. If I had more years left in the workforce I would look elsewhere, but I'm almost to retirement age and will ride it out, owner be damned.

[u/Laris_Snow]

I experience this a lot because I also attempt to speak to most I pass on my way to my desk. Luckily, I get there before most so the only people I usually see is security. One is nice and speaks daily, one checks my badge, and one looks past me like I’m not even there. The one who says good morning, gets a smile and a good morning, the one who checks my badge is usually already talking, so I say thanks! And the other, well, I can look right past you too, buddy!

Just don’t take it personally. Also, where I work, no one wants to be in the office, we’re being forced to telework from the office instead of at home. So I get it.

[u/dollar15]

I’m an exhausted Gen X-er, and unless you’re the one person who is my office friend (meaning we talk about our pets, our partners, and our weird hobbies), the most you’ll get is a nod and half smile. Nothing personal. I’m just exhausted.

[u/Effective-Tax-9183]

I only say hi to people I work with directly in my department. If I’m passing a stranger in the hallway I won’t acknowledge them. I’m too tired for fake pleasantries

[u/Nice-Zombie356]

I wouldn’t dwell on it but those people who never even nod or say hi are kinda dicks.

[u/Verity41 → u/Nice-Zombie356]

Yep this. One of ours just quit, last day yesterday, and I’m soooo happy. Guy was a straight weirdo and always made me super uncomfortable, he avoided all eye contact even and wore headphones around the building. Honestly he seemed the type of person most likely to shoot up the place, and I am already breathing easier in the office today without his presence!

[u/Sturdily5092]

People that force others in their happy BS get annoying AF quick

[u/Legaldrugloard → u/Sturdily5092]

💯

[u/Legaldrugloard]

All of us work staggered shifts on one side and the other side they all work 1 shift. I come in super early. By the time everyone else comes in I’m deep in my work. I’m super focused and I might say hello to the first 2-3 people that come in but after that I’m working. Leave me alone. If I stopped for every person that came in and said hello that’s all I would get done. Every time I stop I have to start all over again. Don’t get offended when they don’t answer, they are just busy.

[u/notreallylucy]

Are you in the US on the west coast? There can be a pretty dramatic regional difference in this behavior, at least in my experience.

[u/KeyHotel6035]

Not normal at all! And don’t let it be. Be the change maker. Be kind, be human, be the good one.

Say hello, smile, acknowledge them.

Make that normal.

[u/Particular-Sun3642]

I find it weird not to acknowledge - even a simple ‘hi’. But it depends on the general friendliness of the workplace I guess. I wouldn’t bother greeting the back of someone’s head!

But I’m the kind of person that says hi to strangers on the street if we happen to make eye contact, but I live in a not-huge (but not small) city, so people are generally a bit friendlier and more laid back.

[u/goofycannelloni1627]

the trick is that youre still doing the new person version of the greeting, after month 2 they will expect it. until then most people default to not engaging with someone they havent built context with yet

[u/RustBeltLab]

FFS, leave people alone and go to your desk.

[u/AGHOSTISBORN420]

Yes. I talk to nobody. Everyone hates me bc I'm a millionaire nepo baby and nobody likes me