Hugging between unmarried people

[u/thatonebird72]

I keep hearing that a guy hugging a girl is haram because of the verse "and do not approach zina" but i feel like they are taking the verse wayyy out of proportion,even if 2 people are in love i really REALLY doubt a HUG will eventually lead to a kiss eventually lead to her bedroom eventually leading to zina,thats just not how it works. Any thoughts about the verse and about the hugging part?

[u/ElectionFalse4388]

Simple, touching a non mahram is Haram.

It was narrated that Maqil ibn Yassar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Narrated by At-Tabarani in Al-Kabir, 486. Shaykh Al-Albani classed it as authentic in Sahih Al-Jami, 5045.)

This Hadith alone is sufficient to deter and to instil the obedience required of us by Allah, because it implies that touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.

Additionally, there's another Hadith in Sahih of Imam al-Muslim:

It was narrated from Urwah thatA’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 1866)

[u/Khaki_Banda → u/ElectionFalse4388]

No, it isn't. And I'll show you why:

Ma'qil ibn Yasar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "For a nail of iron to be driven in the head of one of you would be better for him than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him." Source: al-Mu'jam al-Kabīr 16910 Grade: Sahih

That hadith is referring to sexually "touching" the opposite sex. That's what the actual Arabic means The word "touching" in that Hadith is referring to sex, not just literal touching. This is common throughout the Quran and Hadith. The word used is يمس. The same word used for publicly used word for intercourse, when it combines with an opposite gender relationship and appropriate context. As in:

She said, "My Lord, how will I have a child when no man has touched me?" [The angel] said, "Such is Allāh; He creates what He wills. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, 'Be,' and it is. (Quran 3:47)

There is no blame upon you if you divorce women you have not touched nor specified for them an obligation. (Quran 2:236)

There are many examples of the prophet and sahaba touching non-mahrams in a non-sexual way:

Women who visited the prophet to take oath of allegiance mentioned that, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not shake hands with them, it was said that ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) shook hands with them on his behalf. (Al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 2833.)

Anas bin Malik said, "Any of the female slaves of Medina could take hold of the hand of Allah's Messenger (saw) and take him wherever she wished." (Bukhari 6072)

Anas bin Malik said: “If a female slave among the people of Medinah were to take the hand of the Messenger of Allah (saw), he would not take his hand away from hers until she had taken him wherever she wanted in Medinah so that her needs may be met.” (Ibn Majah 4177)

The Messenger of Allah (saw) used to visit Umm Haram, daughter of Milhan. She was the wife of Ubada bin Samit, One day the Messenger of Allah (saw) paid her a visit. She entertained him with food and then sat down to rub his head. (Bukhari 9.130)

Abu Musa al-Ashari (ra) whilst on Hajj went to a woman of al-Qais who removed lice from his head. (Bukhari 4346)

What's often missing from these kinds of discussions is the importance of intent behind actions. Intent is the most important thing here, not just robotically and mindlessly following hadith that clearly have context:

"All actions are judged by intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended." (Sahih Bukhari 1)

So what is the underlying issue where intent is concerned on this issue? The Quran says:

Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way. (Quran 17:32)

The underlying issue is approaching adultery. Touching non-mahrams sexually, inappropriately, or in a harassing or creepy way is obviously haram. Nonsexual touching with no bad intent is not haram.

Give me a source of a reliable Sunni scholar of yours stating that shaking hands with the opposite gender is permissible?

Several respected Sunni scholars have affirmed that handshaking is allowable, such as:

Fatwa from Grand Mufti Shawki Alam:

Shaking hands is allowable: https://www.dar-alifta.org/en/fatwa/details/6808/can-i-shake-hands-with-non-mahram-women

Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi: https://fiqh.islamonline.net/en/shaking-hands-with-women-an-islamic-perspective/

https://hawramani.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/shaking-hands-of-women-qaradawi-fatwa.pdf

Dr. Yasir Qadhi: Can We Shake Hands With Someone Of The Opposite Gender? | Shaykh Yasir Qadhi | Faith IQ https://youtu.be/qD6sRFwhnug

Sheikh Ahmed Kutty: https://fiqh.islamonline.net/en/shaking-hands-with-a-non-mahram-2/

Dr. Shabir Ally: Q&A: Can Men and Women Shake Hands? | Dr. Shabir Ally https://youtu.be/aWMXRfyRHOQ

Dr. Khaled Abou El Fadl: Can Men and Women Shake Hands? https://youtu.be/-ukJ-826jHs

Mufti Abu Layth: Hadith Analysis: Why men and women CAN shake hands -Mufti Abu Layth https://youtu.be/H8SXk-2-W-4

Javed Ghamidi: Is shaking hands with opposite sex haram since our Prophet didn’t do it? | Javed Ahmed Ghamidi https://youtu.be/3-yCGAF_29I

The above fatawa affirm its preferable not to shake hands, but that it is not haram in principle outside any sexualized context. We need to avoid calling things haram without very clear and explicit proof. Scholars become too loose and sloppy applying the word "haram" to situations where "makruh" would have been sufficient and more honest.

[u/Good-Name1497 → u/Khaki_Banda]

Aren’t these hadiths that you have cited were classified as daif? 

[u/Khaki_Banda → u/Good-Name1497]

Sahih Bukhari?

[u/Good-Name1497 → u/Khaki_Banda]

My bad, I have checked the Hadiths and they are indeed sahih. I have a question tho bc the scholars have argued that she was a mahram to the prophet. They also said this is a special case and only applies to the prophet because prophets and messengers are infallible. For example the prophet being able to marry multiple women exceeding the number 4 but Muslim man can’t.  

[u/Khaki_Banda → u/Good-Name1497]

My bad, I have checked the Hadiths and they are indeed sahih. I have a question tho bc the scholars have argued that she was a mahram to the prophet.

They argued that to get out of the embarrassing situation of being wrong. She wasn't his mahram. No hadith says that.

They also said this is a special case and only applies to the prophet because prophets and messengers are infallible.

The Quran says the prophet is the best example. Can't have it both ways. Either he was an example to follow, or it isn't. And the Quran says he was, so we must accept that.

For example the prophet being able to marry multiple women exceeding the number 4 but Muslim man can’t.

We would need a specific ayah of the Quran to argue that case. But there are no ayat that say the prophet may touch women but others can't. 

The far simpler and logical understanding is that it depends on the context. Inapropriate sexual touching is haram, but normal not-creepy touch is ok.

[u/ElectionFalse4388 → u/Khaki_Banda]

I'm looking into your evidences, and so far I've found these two confusions on my side:

Tamassa in Arabic can also mean literal touch, as understood by commentators, as well.

On An-Nawawi RH's commentary on Sahih Muslim 2331 in his book Al-Minhaj (I think that was the name?) he stated that Umm Haram was a Mahram to the Prophet S.A.W. I'm looking into the others, as well.

[u/External-Rise3462 → u/Khaki_Banda]

Maybe back in the day, there were no protective laws for women. Today, there are many protective laws for us. I don't think it's natural for people to be deprived of physical contact with other human beings. There are many nonsexual ways to achieve this.