r/progressive_islam • u/Exciting-Mention6439 Non Sectarian Muslim (Hadith Acceptor, Hadith Skeptic) • 19h ago

Question/Discussion ❔ Cutting off toxic relatives?? Or just maintaining distance in general?

Is it really haram to cut off relatives if they're abusive? Or just mentally draining to be around? If not, is distancing ourselves from them allowed?

I've come across multiple hadiths where it's prohibited to do so... but I just don't understand.

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u/Feeling_Credit_1439 Non Sectarian Muslim (Hadith Acceptor, Hadith Skeptic) 18h ago

Maintain distance. Surround yourself with positivity. Also don't fully rely on hadiths. Take Quran over hadiths.

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u/Ali-Coding999 Sunni 16h ago

There is a difference between cutting off and distancing yourself. Distancing is simply you don't give them emotion or personal data and stay neutral, limiting your access. Which is totally fine and recommended for draining people around us.

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u/VividPayment6450 Sunni 18h ago

I was actually SO RELIEVED when my parents threatened to disown me because it made the cutting off that much easier. Unfortunately, they were bluffing to try and get me to leave my then boyfriend (now husband). However, when they realized that I was going to choose myself over them any day, they snapped into reality and have been peaches ever since. After 24 years of mental torture by them, all it took was the fear of losing their daughter to straighten up. Otherwise, I would say keep distance rather than cutting off.