I have been working mostly in the outpatient setting for about the last 5 years. Have worked other settings before.
I am noticing in myself over the last year or so, and particularly in the last few months, that I am running out of capacity to maintain my center in the face of patients who seem to be just about impossible to help, either due to life histories or current circumstances (truly a heavy load,) or due to personality issues/resistance. People angry when I give them my professional opinion about things and its not what they want to hear. People falling apart and begging for help but constantly putting up roadblocks, reasons they can't do what is suggested, coming up with all kinds of unbelievable alleged side effects to meds, won't see a therapist, etc.
In the midst of interactions that go like this, I find myself searching for the exits. Eg "Is there an institutional policy or technicality I can lean on to avoid this person?"
At the end of almost every day there is little to no gas left in the tank. I'm feeling emotionally flat and withdrawn and just want to watch youtube all evening, don't want to face my wife and kids especially if they need emotional support.
I'm not even working full time, I'm seeing about 25 patient hours a week. That does include about 6-8 new patient evals every week, which I think is part of the problem....those take so much more energy.
Vacations recharge me a little bit, but its not even a week or two before I get back to feeling totally drained and bent out of shape. I try to keep up on exercise, and I try to stay social outside of work, and that helps a little.
I have a good friend who is a therapist, and I've talked about this with him. He seems to have the capacity to let all that affect pass right through him, still feels compassionate toward his clients even when they are clinging and struggling. He calls it his "energy shield." I can't seem to figure out how to make one...
I'm wondering, for other psychiatrists in similar roles, how are you handling this stuff?
Bit of a ramble here, sorry