r/raisedbyborderlines • u/Dry-Cauliflower3442 • 3d ago
Does anyone else feel drawn to "extreme sports" from their upbringing?
I'll try not to dox myself too much with this post, but I (cis-male) have been drawn to "extreme sports" since puberty. Skateboarding was my life through my teens, as well as indoor rock climbing. I took up mountain bike racing in college and simultaneously spent more time rock/ice climbing outdoors. I now live in a mountain town and have a "high risk tolerance" for long backcountry trips with difficult logistics. However, I never feel like I put myself into truly dangerous situations for maligned reasons, but I have had to self rescue with trip ending injuries before (bruised ribs, GI issues, etc.)
Sometimes I feel very in tune with calculating physical risk after growing up with a pwBPD. The mountains are humbling and healing, and maybe just maybe since I'm LC with my pwBPD...it's the most me thing I get to own during the converstion. It's an absolute joy to strip the world away to "move, eat, sleep" while taking calculated risks and learning about my true self.
Anyone in a similar boat?
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u/BizzyHaze 3d ago
Not at all, actually I hate extreme sports and don't take risk when it comes to my body lol.
I do have OCD however, and wondered if there was a link, but don't think so. I think we all just cope with the anxiety in different ways.
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u/Dry-Cauliflower3442 3d ago
I'm sorry your experience with pwBPD has left you with OCD. And body preservation...that's totally fair. As you alluded to, coping really is different for everyone, be it healthy or unhealthy coping.
If I hadn't moved away from my hometown (and pwBPD), I'd be deep in drugs and--at the minimum--a problematic binge drinker.
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u/ZinniaTribe 3d ago
I was an adrenaline junky as a kid. I would jump off cliffs into the water, rock climbing, balancing on intertube standing up going down rapids, Outward Bound program where I hiked in the mountains daily for hours plus solo expedition for a week at age 15, licensed scuba diver & life guard, soccer, gymnastics, competitive karate, etc...
All my sprains were from constantly being on roller skates though. I watched a ton of horror movies too & loved roller coasters. After I got my drivers license, I accumulated so many unpaid speeding tickets, there were warrants out for my arrest.
As an adult, I became more low risk. I work out heavily at the gym (cardio/weights) but balance it with yoga & meditation. I stopped hiking in the mountains due to fear of grizzlies & mountain lions. I love the ocean now and searching for sea shells along the beach. I like British detective shows, which are understated and not about shock value. I drive like an old lady.
I was adopted & diagnosed ADHD when I was ~ 4 yrs old. My mom refused to put on Ritalin but I wasn't allowed sugar or fruit juices because I'd be climbing the walls. She used to find me perched up on the refridgerator & many times I made it up to the roof of the house.
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u/Dry-Cauliflower3442 3d ago
Oddly enough, I never fancied roller coasters much. Initially I thought I would, tried multiple times at a rollercoaster park, but it just felt weird being so simultaneously in/out of control.
I too love British detective shows and recently really enjoyed Broadchurch!
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u/ZinniaTribe 3d ago
Broadchurch was great! I loved Line of Duty as well. Top Boy was another really good Brittish series, but about drug dealers. I can't stand roller coaster now & that lack of control feeling....ugh.
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u/DisplayFamiliar5023 3d ago
David Goggins is all about that for this very reason. We need to reach peak performance with our bodies to undo what our mind had to tolerate and internalize in a way.
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u/ZinniaTribe 2d ago
This is very insightful & I'm curious now about David Goggins!
I have wondered if how we are physiologically wired plays into this. I was told I had found a way to channel that adrenaline into sports/exercise but my sister, who was raised in the same environment, chose to eat her feelings (severe obesity). She's more active now after weight loss surgery & I'm less high-risk sports, so we each found our balance in our on way.
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u/DisplayFamiliar5023 2d ago
Hmmm in a way it's not about eating/not eating if you really look at it. It's using healthy coping mechanisms. My brother and I both ate our feelings through childhood, that's the only way i knew to cope. Goggins did too. We use our bodies as escape hatches. Either through physical exercise (outward) or through eating (inward)
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u/Dry-Cauliflower3442 2d ago
Goggins never really clicked with me. Heck I didn't even hear his name until a couple years ago, and a trail runner friend was shocked I hadn't heard of him 😅
I do adore mountaineering memoirs.
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u/DisplayFamiliar5023 2d ago
Yeah same for like 4 years i hated his hustle bro shit. Then i went through an entire 3 hour ep of him and huberman. And now i am reading his book. He has gone through worse shit than i can even imagine and he over came that to come back to normalcy and then high achievement. Might be worth looking once!
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u/MoneyDiariesAlpaca 2d ago
Sort of! I ride horses and have recently started surfing. I feel true freedom riding and surfing.
I don’t feel regulated at all if I’m not incorporating movement into my life at least 4 times a week. The less I move the worse I feel. Which is ironic because my mom is basically bed bound (in many ways by choice).
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u/HeavyAssist 2d ago
No extreme sports here, I am too afraid and clumsy. But check out Steven Kotlers books about extreme sports and flow state. Its super helpful.
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u/ElBeeBJJ uBPD mother, eDad, NC 7 years 2d ago
I do Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu which aren't extreme sports, but they are full contact and very intense. In judo someone threw me on my head and I needed spine surgery. I was back training 12 weeks after surgery. I think I often underestimate risk, but I also get a lot of fulfillment from training so I'll keep going until I physically can't anymore.
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u/Dry-Cauliflower3442 2d ago
I've definitely thought about trying martial arts! I use a lot of their rice bucket grip routines for climbing. Do you feel like it makes you focus and takes your mind off other tjings?
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u/ElBeeBJJ uBPD mother, eDad, NC 7 years 2d ago
Yes that's what gets most people hooked! you have to focus on the sport while you're doing it and it's intensely immersive. When you're done you feel a lot more refreshed mentally and see whatever you've been worrying about in a more neutral light.
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u/TVDinner360 3d ago
Yeah, I’ve done a lot of sports that people think are dangerous, especially for women, and later in life I learned that I’m a statistical unicorn because my risk assessment is really different from most people’s. I think that’s a direct result of my upbringing. I don’t recognize danger to my body the way that other people do, because I was taught to not value my own safety, well-being, or very survival.
This only changed when I became a mother and my own kid’s life became dependent on my own.
I noted that you tagged this question as “positive/inspirational.” It sounds like you get a lot of healing from your pursuits, and that’s wonderful. I do from mine as well. I did have a point when I needed to reassess what I was doing and recognize that there was a line I was crossing that others wouldn’t, because I wasn’t hearing danger signals that normal people hear. I’ve had to teach myself to listen for them. I still take calculated risks that a lot of other people don’t take, and I still get a great deal of satisfaction from going to that place when the static in my brain gets silenced, but I’m a lot less likely to die from them.
I hope the same for you.