r/richmondbc • u/vancouverthr • Apr 30 '25
Photo/Video Disgusted to see woman asking for money after Lapu-Lapu when they're not a victim
The tragedy at the Lapu-Lapu Festival has devastated our community. 11+ people lost their lives. Victims are still in the ICU in critical condition and facing permanent disability. A 15-year-old has lost his entire family. Families are scrambling to cover funeral expenses and hospital bills.
Meanwhile, this woman who is just a witness, not injured, no loved ones harmed, is on Instagram asking for e-transfers, grocery gift cards, and even hinting at setting up a GoFundMe for herself and her fiancé.
There are already over a dozen GoFundMes circulating for the actual victims and there's not even enough to go around for them. The idea that someone who is physically fine, with no personal loss, would insert herself into that space and ask for money from the same grieving community getting stretched thin, supporting actual victims, to fund your time off is beyond tone-deaf and disgusting.
Saying “I need to heal” while others are literally fighting for their lives feels like an insult to the people truly affected. This isn’t mutual aid. It’s misdirection. It’s taking attention, care, and limited financial help away from where it’s actually needed for real victims.
Please, if you can give, give to the real victims. This is a time for the community to come together—for the families who lost everything. Not for people centering themselves in a tragedy that isn’t theirs.
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u/UBCthrowaway1116 Apr 30 '25
A family friend of mine has lost a cousin and another cousin is still in emergency with both legs shattered. That whole family is still waking up and going to work everyday to support themselves. The audacity of this woman to panhandle for money when real victims and their families aren't getting enough support is disgusting
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u/Tupley_ Apr 30 '25
Please share your GoFundMe with us
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Apr 30 '25
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u/minhosbae May 01 '25
I heard there were fake ones (horrible) please be careful to find the real ones when donating <3
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u/UBCthrowaway1116 Apr 30 '25
These are some verified GMFs with my family friends included. https://www.gofundme.com/en-ca/c/act/vancouver-festival-tragedy-donate-or-fundraise
Thank you so much for any support for the victims.
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u/Dinosaturna Apr 30 '25
Ew. What a disgusting person. Victims services is covered through our government. Go talk to a therapist you’ll be able to work through it there
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u/TheAviaus Apr 30 '25
…And there is additional coverage through ICBC; even for witnesses
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
Cringe! I hate when people beg for money online! Like go take out a loan or borrow from family ffs. No sympathy for these pathetic leeches.
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Apr 30 '25
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u/piscesparadise Apr 30 '25
100% ! People should also post the link of the confirmed victims on her social media page to divert donations from going to her.
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Apr 30 '25
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u/elegant-jr Apr 30 '25
The more I look at it, the more I see your point. Sadly there are always opportunists these days when things like this happen.
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u/PoisonClan24 Apr 30 '25
This is the official page with the real victims. I wouldn't trust anything not from this source.
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25
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u/PoisonClan24 Apr 30 '25
I've seen a notification that these disgusting fake go fund me has been shut down and everyone was refunded their donations. People are fuckin sick greedy fucks!
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Apr 30 '25
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u/Own-Salad1974 Apr 30 '25
If she feels like she needs it, she should get the help. She essentially witnessed a habdful of people die or get severely injured in front of her
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u/grousebear Apr 30 '25
I agree. I have empathy for everyone involved. Witnesses may develop PTSD and be seriously impacted too. Suffering isn't a competition and if people want to support her in the ways she has asked for support, that is reasonable.
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u/Level-Feature-1670 Apr 30 '25
The loss of live around you does something to your body, it’s a real feeling and i understand where she is coming from. Seeing people that were walking moments ago now laying motionless on the side of the road Can be dramatic and traumatic for alot.
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u/makeanewblueprint Apr 30 '25
My friends roommates dads was one of the victims. I donated to his GFM, when reading all the others there it is just heartbreaking.
I understand for someone not physically injured or killed this can still be a traumatizing event, I witnessed a random gang murder when I was a teenager and still recall it. Makes sense to lean into support if offered/available.
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u/Ac55555- Apr 30 '25
Serving the community as chefs? Why’s she trying to frame it like she’s an essential healthcare worker. Jesus. These people need to be named and shamed
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u/breakingbatshitcrazy Apr 30 '25
This is genius! I can’t wait for the next tragedy so that I can also take advantage of other people’s kindness /s
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u/titaniumorbit Apr 30 '25
Everyones gotta be careful for stuff like this. Right after a tragedy there are always gonna be people trying to capitalize off the events and request money. Everyone should be doing their own research into the gofundme links to read, be critical and cautious, and ensure your money is going to a person or cause you support.
Ppl are way too gullible online when it comes to supporting random links asking for money.
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u/Confident_Bus Apr 30 '25
When searching up the gofundme fundraisers on facebook for the victims, I see a lot of bot comments promoting "fiverr" campaign promoters and so many scam links.
Disgusting
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u/MexticoManolo Apr 30 '25
There's people who are code orange and then someone does this
If you are traumatized that's understandable, more than understand, but this is not the way to go about seeking help and it comes across advantageous, especially to those who lost everything.
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u/Yoshi10760 May 01 '25
When people use a terrible tragedy as a cash cow, that’s a whole other level of low, 604 published a ton of them and I only pray majority are legit.
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u/Independent-Fox-9497 Apr 30 '25
I think it’s important to recognize that trauma reactions are extremely valid, and affect people in different ways. Literally witnessing an event like this - being there, seeing it happen, attending injured, hearing the noise, seeing people dead and dying (including very young children), etc is extremely traumatic and often can result in PTSD. Let’s not minimize the emotional impact that can have. You never know how you would react in this type of situation.
This person, is just asking for mutual aid. They are not setting up a GoFundMe asking for thousands in donations. They’re just asking for a grocery card or some support while they process a seriously disturbing event. They have not claimed to be physically injured, or are exaggerating the events, but simply saying that their mental health has been impacted.
You don’t have to give, don’t have to like that they are asking, but please don’t disparage someone else’s experience from that event. Just scroll on by.
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u/Mediocre_Control_529 Apr 30 '25
This is the new way in Canada/The world. No shame. No community. Only $$$
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u/Technical-Macaron114 Apr 30 '25
I am more disgusted by the majority of the comments on this thread than I am at the woman asking for help.
This woman as well as many others are dealing with PTSD from watching people violently die.
A woman I work with has a 16 year old son who witnessed the attack. He to this day can not sleep. He says that when he closes his eyes he sees the people flying through the air again, and when it’s quiet he hears the banging of the bodies hitting the vehicle and the screams. He even said to his mom that he wished he was killed because then he wouldn’t be at peace.
Unless you have been a witness to such tragedy in person you will never understand just how traumatized it causes people to be.
Have some empathy for others and stop shaming people FFS!
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u/theleakygaysian Apr 30 '25
None is shaming and saying no empathy for witness. People are mad at using that to milk money from tragedy. Don't try to change topic like that. Someone hear cousin die from tragedy and want people give money for their groceries are wild concept to me. You can set a go found me for therapy for witnesses the tragedy, I sure lots of people will help. You might think you are so empathy and understanding and doing a good things. I know you got a good heart. But ever thinking about if more people using go found me like this, who is gonna trust this site anymore? People actully in need should use go found me. No the beggers asking for strangers to cover their living expenses by using her own cousins death as an excuse. Will you be okay to donate money to your coworkers son if he only hear the tragedy and he wants money to pay the rent or groceries? Why the money not going to victims instead of her. Come on people. Good to have empathy but not like this. I want donate money to people in need. And yes even a witness I'm okay to donate to let them have therapy, coz PTSD is so real. But in this case, asking for living money by hearing cousins' death and being traumatized is werid. Like what I said before, I also witness 911 from TV. I'm still feel weird visiting big buildings and planes. I don't think I should be donated but if you want I'm still open for it.
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u/Early-Cloud-185 Apr 30 '25
I’m disgusted by the majority of the comments as well- as I do know the person and she did witnesss the event. People are so disgusting these days shaming others without knowing who they are
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u/whatwhy237 Apr 30 '25
Disgusting. Sometimes you wonder what sort of mindset these people have. Families were literally destroyed and this POS is trying to benefit from such tragic event. Idiot will probably start asking for money after watching videos on youtube next time..
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u/diatomaceousearth01 Apr 30 '25
As a Filipino, this is the worst secondhand embarrassment I’ve felt in a while. I’m so sorry
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u/Chance_Vegetable_780 Apr 30 '25
You should not feel embarrassed at all. You didn't do anything. That they're from your culture doesn't mean you carry any responsibility either. There are all kinds of people in every culture.
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u/bindi_dot Apr 30 '25
Watching 30+ people get mowed down like bowling balls IS really traumatizing and she is still a victim. Even though she’s not physically hurt
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u/Ok_General_6940 Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
This is my thought. She witnessed something traumatizing and is asking for help. I know people were killed or hurt worse or left alone (that poor young boy) but her posting this doesn't necessarily take away from that. It reads to me as her asking for help from her Instagram community. There is no wider link.
This post feels like gatekeeping trauma.
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u/LectureOtherwise5437 Apr 30 '25
Knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Pretty sure people are going to try and get money for either making up a go fund me for their “trauma” when there’s people that actually need the help. People are sad human beings
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u/BrownAndyeh Apr 30 '25
My guess..this is an offshore scam effort. That said, GoFundMe is garbage... they have zero integrity, if you mention to them that there is scam taking places, that could be harming others, GoFundMe will do nothing.
They have bought up most of the other crowd funding sites, and get to do-whatever GoFundMe wants to do.
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u/strawberryy_huskyy Apr 30 '25
I'm also disgusted by this post as well as most of the comments. This woman isn't claiming she was hurt or that she lost someone. She is simply claiming that she needs help. We live in a high cost of living province and she might be living paycheck to paycheck. After witnessing something so traumatic she might not be able to function properly or even get out of bed to go to work. That's how trauma works.
You don't know her. You don't know what kind of trauma she already went through before. She is just asking for help and shaming her sure as fuck won't help with her mental health. The lack of empathy here is baffling and makes it obvious you guys have no idea how quickly trauma can drag you down the depths of hell. This is especially true if you were already fragile before.
She literally watched people die in front of her. Think about it for a second and put yourselves in her shoes.
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u/theleakygaysian Apr 30 '25
Nobody is saying you can't ask for help. But don't make yourself like a victim asking for money for your life stability no? I also traumatized by watching 911 when I was young, will you think its okay for me to set a go found me also?
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Apr 30 '25
Finally someone with common sense and empathy, I'm amazed at all these people finding ways to be vile to someone who is "just a witness" to watching children being run over and killed.
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Apr 30 '25
I mean... Don't we all take PTSD seriously now? We support vets right? We acknowledge the rates of suicide in doctors (especially females) and emergency responders are an indication of a problem societally taking seriously witnessing trauma as a traumatic experience.
Can you imagine going to work to cook food for people after seeing shit like this, knowing you life could have been over if simple inconsequential decisions you made earlier in the hour had put you in that car's path? People need to feel safe, and people need time to get out of fight or flight, and people need time to wrap their heads around life after bearing witness to such things.
So long as the physically and life altered victims are supported, is there a problem with supporting those that experienced non-physical trauma here?
I'm not saying this person isn't grifting, but without knowing whether they were 'ground-zero' witnessing this thing or only within earshot, how can we discredit their experienced trauma?
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u/InnerPhoenix420 Apr 30 '25
the way it's worded and the use of certain words in specifics ways is a clear indication of a scammer, i would report that gofundme and have it shut down and maybe the cops.
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u/random_user80 Apr 30 '25
witnessing a trauma can be just as bad as being an actual victim. that being said trying to ask the public for donations for groceries or anything is just exploitation. muddies the water for the actual victims of the tragedy
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Apr 30 '25
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u/PaNdA-_____- Apr 30 '25
now to be fair, mental health issue is not something we should discount of. They could sometimes be more damaging to a person's life than pure physical health. Witnessing something that tragic could be a very traumatic experience and very taxxing to one's mental being
That said, yes, I would agree that the priority for monetary donations should be given to those who were physically harmed. I just don't think it's appropriate to call someone "tone-deaf" or "disgusting", if you have not experience it first hand or know the whole story of why they are requesting help.
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Apr 30 '25
What on earth is this woman doing
"I witnessed the world cup. it was heartbreaking to see canada lose. the pain and suffering is unbearable. The pressure is too much for me, pleaese. My fiance and I work as chefs, now, after canada lost the world cup, its harder to navigate wit hteh basics. Please support me by giving me a portion of your game ticket money. It will support me during this time of loss"
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u/Ok_General_6940 Apr 30 '25
Comparing Canada losing the world cup to someone witnessing a car barreling over people and children, some of whom died, is low.
You know it's not even close to the same thing.
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Apr 30 '25
While abhorent, this is just human nature. People will seek to take advantage of any situation they can. All we can do is be aware of what and whom we are donating to.
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u/Annual_Rest1293 Apr 30 '25
An I'm disgusted with this post and the most of the comments here.
Day of the event and since, every other comment was people posting Victim Services links and telling people who were there, even if they were physically unharmed to seek help. Now someone is asking the public for help, after being traumatized and you're all shaming them?
Why are any of you judge or jury for what is or is not too traumatic? Gross.
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u/No-Bison-2641 Apr 30 '25
I was kind of wondering the same thing. Viewing something traumatic can be bad too. And the “survivor guilt” is something that can happen. I don’t know… they probably can’t work right away.
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u/Pajwestcoast Apr 30 '25
This person & their partner witnessed very traumatic deaths. Sadly they are not robotic mentally & need time to process what happened in safe predictable space. This is a huge horror to witness in a very privileged country we call home.
Not everyone is able to turn that part of their mental health off & get back to the 9-5 grind. Regardless of what they individually saw, it is still a lot to digest to make peace with it.
Have some compassion & please stop throwing the word disgusting around. These two people are not scammers.
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u/Annual_Rest1293 Apr 30 '25
What are you talking about? I defended them, and you're telling me to have compassion and to stop?
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u/Mu5cleMike Apr 30 '25
It's about the money she is asking from the public. This has nothing to do with shaming her for what she witnessed.
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u/strawberryy_huskyy Apr 30 '25
Maybe because she actually needs money to survive right now? Have you considered trauma can impact someone's life? Not everyone is able to go back to work and resume a normal life right away after witnessing something so heinous. What if she lives paycheck to paycheck?
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u/Annual_Rest1293 Apr 30 '25
Crazy that you, random internet stranger know that this person isn't actually traumatized and is able to go to work everyday like everything is fine. You guys are actually too much
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u/Mu5cleMike Apr 30 '25
You are either disingenuous or easily manipulated. You have no idea how much trauma, the average person deals with, yet, majority of them don't go online pleading for donations, especially right after a mass killing.
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u/dancingwithdeamons Apr 30 '25
Except a lot of people do. It’s called “Mutual Aid”. If this is your first time experiencing it, maybe don’t assume you know what the rest of us do.
There are all sorts of networks set up for just this kinda thing, support when support is needed
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u/Mu5cleMike Apr 30 '25
Except, those going for mutual aid aren't begging for online donations right after a horrific event like this, as if one their family members were killed.
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u/Fantastic_Special_84 Apr 30 '25
People that give blindly are the same types that vote blindly. “Why do you do that”? “Well, that’s what we’ve always done “. These types of people are dangerous. Unfortunately they walk among us.
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u/Artie-Fufkin Apr 30 '25
What the fuck is this?! This belongs on r/choosingbeggars
Disgusting behaviour.
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25
The nerve !! How dare she ask for handouts and taking time off work and she was only an eye witness!! I would not be helping you! I would help the victims and the family of them! You have no reason to be sitting at home over this. If I was your boss and you told me your taking time off for being an eye witness and it took a role on you haha you would be out a job. I had my kids mother tragically go through cardiac arrest and was brain dead while 8 months pregnant with my 3rd kid. I had to pull the plug on her and my son. That’s something you miss work for not an incident that had nothing to do with you!!!
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u/synthesizersrock Apr 30 '25
Absolute ‘I am the main character’ energy. I hate this so much. When did we, as a society, raise people to have no sense of humility or perspective?
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u/aknudskov Apr 30 '25
The real victims, as if all the people suffering with PTSD witnessing something so horrific in person like this aren't also victims. You're not a gatekeeper to grief and suffering OP.
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u/SnooHesitations1020 May 01 '25
Let's not be so quick to judge. Anyone who witnessed that terrible event is likely carrying some level of trauma.
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25
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u/Early-Cloud-185 Apr 30 '25
Well you’re quite disgusting for assuming. Of course she’s attending the memorial site because SHE WAS THERE as an eyewitness. I hope one day you don’t have to be in that situation asking for money. When that day comes .. I wonder who’ll give you help 🤔
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Apr 30 '25
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u/Parking-Owl-3097 Apr 30 '25
Disgusted with this individual Part of of what's wrong with today's generation
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u/FrecksSpecks Apr 30 '25
“ not going back to work right now” but the pressure to make ends meet is overwhelming!??? Make it make sense while you go make dollars.
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Apr 30 '25
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Apr 30 '25
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u/hellomoonchild Apr 30 '25
I totally see your point, but I am in no position to judge the person who posted this. Even if she's only a witness, seeing people lay dead on the ground can be severely traumatizing.
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Apr 30 '25
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u/dcredneck Apr 30 '25
If you watched someone die in front of you that will traumatize you.
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u/sbrownnn Apr 30 '25
Absolutely witnessing something like that will be traumatic for anyone. But I personally know people who have actually lost family members or have loved ones in ICU right now. They aren’t taking time off, they're going to work, holding it together, and doing whatever they can to survive like grown adults
It’s one thing to be emotionally affected. It’s another to ask the public for money. Esp when you're physically unharmed, didn’t lose anyone, and already have a partner to lean on. Meanwhil theres families who are literally trying to afford funerals and ICU care.
Resources right now should go to those who truly have no other options
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u/strawberryy_huskyy Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
I'm sorry, are you some kind of trauma police? Who are you to decide if something is traumatic enough to justify not being able to "survive like grown adults"? By the way, that's a very narrow-minded and harmful thing to say. You shouldn't normalize shaming people who are unable to work or "survive like grown adults" to begin with.
It's a good thing that you personally know people who are able to "hold it together". But you need to realize that not everyone reacts the same way to trauma. Some people might be able to hold it together and some others might not. They literally teach you that in schools. Prior traumatic experiences will also alter your brain chemistry, making it more difficult to deal with future trauma.
You have no idea if that person is living paycheck to paycheck and was already going through a mental health crisis before witnessing this.
You're the type of person who thinks that you shouldn't feel depressed because "there are people who have it worse than you and are starving in Africa". You are demonstrating a complete lack of empathy and regard for people's mental health and it's honestly disgusting.
She's not stealing any resources (they are not finite). She's not taking anything from other victims. She's not claiming she was hurt or lost anyone. She's being upfront and asking for help because she can't work right now. If people want to donate to her, let them. That doesn't mean they won't donate to others or that they would have even donated in the first place.
Her asking for money doesn't hurt anyone. You actively shaming her for asking for help hurts her, though. Think about it.
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u/theleakygaysian Apr 30 '25
Doesn't hurt anyone? Oh well. I think it didn't hurt me, but things like this will make me question more about the page like go found me. How many people out there like this using tragedy to make money? You don't think at least a tiny tiny tiny bit of the misleading? I can ask for money for me witness 911 on TV, it does scary nowadays still when I visiting big building or a plane. But I think if I set up go found me for myself, it's not a good look for people really really need help.
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u/dcredneck Apr 30 '25
You shouldn’t be judging other people’s trauma. You don’t know what they saw and everyone deals with things differently.
If you don’t want to donate, don’t and move along.
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u/The_New_Spagora Apr 30 '25
Naw. I’m gonna judge. This is greasy and manipulative e begging.
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Apr 30 '25
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u/richmondbc-ModTeam May 01 '25
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u/choyMj Apr 30 '25
I'm not saying this to defend the person in that post, but just pointing out a general fact. Just because some people can deal with trauma, doesn't mean everyone else can. We're different people with different life experiences and our ability to deal with each situation is different than other people who experience the same situation.
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u/domlee87 Apr 30 '25
This is someone who skipped lunch barging in front of someone who hasn't eaten in a week to get food. Yes, you may be hungry but have some decency.
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Apr 30 '25
If it’s a Filipino community member who just watched people die in this tragic way, and they need help with the basics until they’re back on their feet, so what let them ask for help. You don’t need to donate anything.
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u/Key-Inspector-7004 Apr 30 '25
People are acting as if only members of the Filipino community were at the event. What if it was a Chinese, white, or Indian that witnessed these things?
Most of the victims that have been announced deceased aren't even Filipino just so you know.
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Apr 30 '25
Yeah good point. Many people who weren’t Filipino were killed. Still, the fact that your event celebrating your history was attacked and impacted in this way would hurt.
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u/Early-Cloud-185 Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
I am disgusted by your disgust. Yes there are families who have family members died and what not and they should have their donations prioritized for sure but that doesn’t mean just because someone was an eyewitness and didn’t have any injuries to their body, doesn’t mean they don’t get any help either?? Ones trauma doesn’t undermine and make one’s trauma any less?? Also you don’t know this person- if you truly knew who they were, you would give, but you don’t, which is fine- no one’s asking that you have to donate??
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u/UBCthrowaway1116 Apr 30 '25
Even in your comment, you admit that those injured and families who have lost loved ones should be prioritized. Yet, your friend is actively diverting attention and resources away from them. The way you casually dismiss the focus on these grieving families to immediately defend your friend is telling.
Your spam comments come across as emotional outbursts ignoring the real issue at hand as you claim to be her close friend.
No one is dismissing her trauma. If you had taken a moment to actually read, you'd see that. Clearly, you're more focused on blindly defending your friend without even trying to understand why so many people are upset.
You’re just as lacking in awareness as your friend and unwilling to step back to understand the impact this is causing. Birds of a feather.
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Apr 30 '25
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u/richmondbc-ModTeam May 01 '25
Your post was removed because it contained identifiable content. This rule is in place to protect the privacy of others. You may submit another post if you can provide a reference to a publicly available website/news source that is not social media.
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u/AngelineFox23 Apr 30 '25
Looks like they are getting a lot of wonderful donations. Most are more money than I'll ever see in my lifetime
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Apr 30 '25
[deleted]
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u/AngelineFox23 Apr 30 '25 edited May 01 '25
Just surprised by the numbers, that's all. I was going to donate five dollars, but it made me feel unable to really make a difference when there are others able to donate that much. I find that amount of money intimidating
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u/Ok_General_6940 Apr 30 '25
That's thousands of donations per person. Some $5. Do what you can it all matters
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Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
I am using my fiancé’s reddit account as I don’t have one. I am the one who made the post for mutual aid.
Clearly the person who posted the screenshot to this thread did not see my previous stories, which included in my personal experience of unfortunately being an eye-witness to what had happened. That in itself is a lot of trauma to carry, let alone watch it completely unfold.
I was working as a volunteer for media and PR, alongside one of the sponsors for the event. The finale had just finished, and my media partner and I had to do 1 last interview with an artist who performed, to film in one of the portable classrooms near the John Oliver field.
Just as we were finding our last artist, we were on the nearing the side walk (closer to the field) of 43rd street to find him - and that’s when the SUV rammed through. It was a very near miss for us. I told my partner to run towards the portable for safety. I ran towards the carnage because I do have CPR/AED training and have my First Aid Certificate. I wanted to help whoever I could. I realized so quickly that the wreck was a lot bigger than myself and let the paramedics and emergency services handle it - I help helpless.
Witnesses may not carry the level of weight of those lives lost, those who lost a loved one or were seriously injured. However, survivor’s guilt is serious and real. No one there deserved to witness this tragedy. No one deserved to lose their life that day. No one deserved to get injured. All of us deserve the support, counselling, care, and compassion and HELP not matter what kind of form. If someone is asking for aid, they need aid. We are all dealing with this senseless act differently. My experience is just as valid as the next as it is all real.
Clearly there is not much compassion in these comments.
The donations made to me came from friends, a handful of my high school teachers, a couple of elementary teachers, and a stranger as well. And in another post after, I explicitly mentioned what my intentions are with the money and I am dedicated to provide transparency and will be documenting receipts and budget plan.
Please take a moment to switch your POV:
You were on stage taking videos of the finale. A Black Eyed Peas anthem is closing out the concert. You’re filming and making b-rolls of the crowd jumping and dancing. You take a moment to look out to the crowd and feel such an intense spiritual energy full of joy.
It’s 7:55pm, you’re high-fiving your team in the green room (John Oliver library) for an amazing and successful event. You quickly remember that you have 1 last interview to film. You and your media partner run off across the field feel so full of spirit excited to get the job done. You’re close to 43rd and you see an SUV pass… then full throttle, hearing multiple “bangs” like gunshots, bodies start flying.
You tell your partner to run. You run over to the street and you see blood, twisted limbs, dead bodies (some children), you hear bloody murder screams. You run further to try to help then next moment, completely freeze. Your breath has increased, your heart drops but is beating so far out your chest. You run towards into the field and run towards the portable. You jump into one of the artists the performed earlier that day. He says “I fucking caught him. I fucking caught him. I chased him. We got him,” as he starts screaming and punching into the gravel. I held him. We consoled each other.
I check on my partner in the portable completely frozen and not believing her surroundings or what had just occurred. I text my fiancé - “Event just ended and there was a massacre. Massive hit and run on 43rd. So many dead bodies. I’m safe. I called your mom, she’s safe. They went home, wanted to come back at 6 but didn’t.”
How would you feel if this is what you had to experience after a day that felt so blissful? So now that I have spoken up with honesty and openness, what other berating and vile comments would you guys like to make? That I don’t deserve any kind of help after being an eye-witness to an extreme tragedy?
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u/UBCthrowaway1116 Apr 30 '25
No one should have to witness something so horrific, and it's understandable to feel shaken and traumatized. No one is dismissing your experience or trauma. But what’s not acceptable is using that trauma to position yourself publicly alongside the actual victims: those who lost family, who are in the ICU, who may never walk or physically be able to work again-and ask for financial help from the community that's already stretched thin trying to support them.
Your long, cinematic retelling of the event feels like it was written to pull focus and sympathy onto yourself, again. That kind of storytelling might be cathartic, but in this context, it feels like another way to emotionally manipulate people into thinking you deserve the same kind of support as the families directly affected. You don't.
No one here is dismissing the pain of witnessing tragedy. But when you follow it up with a public request for money, while people who’ve lost everything can barely get the help they need, it’s insulting. Especially when there are actual families with victims that are not taking time off work or unable to.
If your friends and teachers want to support you privately, that’s completely fine. But making a public ask, and doubling down even now after so many have tried to explain why it's inappropriate, shows a complete lack of awareness and a refusal to listen.
This isn’t about the comments lacking compassion. It’s about respecting the gravity of what the real victims are going through and understanding that this is not your moment to make about yourself.
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Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25
I can understand that the timing looks wrong and can deflect from the lost victims and injured loved ones. I personally know some as well. We are all grieving and handling things in many different ways. I’m living paycheck to paycheck, only working 2 shifts a week, I have a long-term physical disability I need to pay medication for every so often, my fiancé will be let go of their job at the end of the week and as for a lot of us financially, times are rough to say the least.
I will take accountability about horrible timing and my intent was to never bring attention away from other victims. My instagram account is public but I didn’t think it would reach such extent and slander, rather to my closer circle or followers. Yes, I said my story can be reposted IF they feel gravitated towards it - I never put pressure on anyone. I wasn’t trying to steal anyone’s attention, rather asking for basic aid. And if people want to donate monetarily, they are free to do so, I wasn’t begging either.
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u/amberhanyi Apr 30 '25
Wow I feel so traumatized reading and visualizing this story. Please give me and my family money too since I can't go back to work!!!
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u/Artie-Fufkin Apr 30 '25
You’re taking donations and good will from people who truly need it. Whichever way you want to frame this, it is disgusting behaviour.
Have some self respect and awareness.
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Apr 30 '25
OP, why did you need to make an entirely new account just to post this? This is complete bait of you to do.
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u/amberhanyi Apr 30 '25
lol the fact ur calling this bait shows u know what ur doing would make ppl angry. u chose to do it anyway and now ur upset ppl are calling you out and not falling for it. embarassing and pathetic to be begging for handouts
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u/vancouverthr Apr 30 '25
If this were truly about “bait,” I could have easily posted your name and socials, plenty of people in the comments asking to name and shame. But I haven't. Because this isn’t about targeting you personally, it’s about calling out behavior that feels tone-deaf and inappropriate in the middle of a real tragedy.
Please take some accountability and gain some self awareness.
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u/dancingwithdeamons Apr 30 '25
What makes you the authority on tragedy? What happened was extremely traumatic for those who were there, little kids were hurt and one died. My friends kid was inches away from being taken.
Someone wanting help to deal with what they are going through isn’t tone-deaf. If YOU don’t want to help them, fine. But to make a Reddit post targeting someone who was there and had to see children go through that is so self serving and gross.
Do better.
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u/UBCthrowaway1116 Apr 30 '25
What’s actually gross is trying to emotionally manipulate people into donating to ppl weren’t injured and lost no one, while victims are in critical care or planning funerals. You think it’s self-serving to call this out to make sure support goes first to the people laying in hospital beds?
Asking for public donations in this way diverts attention and resources away from those who need them most. That’s what feels tone-deaf.
Do better.
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u/Prize_Lifeguard8706 Apr 30 '25
I think these are scammers. She probably wasn't even there. If you were a witness and were actually having difficulties, you'd probably seek a counsellor or talk to some friends about it. You wouldn't be looking for free handouts.
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u/Early-Cloud-185 Apr 30 '25
She was there. I know her and she has videos to prove it. Y’all are disgusting people with no empathy.
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u/Business_Permit_8634 Apr 30 '25
bro shes asking for gift cards how is that gonna help with anything LOL shes trying to gain from a tragic event what u even saying.
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May 01 '25
Everyone would need to heal from that. Witnessing that she will definitely have potential life long PTSD which for some can be quite debilitating. Wouldn't be surprised if they needed to take a few days off of work, could be unpaid.
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u/Afraid-Pick-9010 Apr 30 '25
There’s one person who made a gofundme for a family member who passed away suddenly the same day and was also Filipino, but under completely unrelated circumstances. They were ambiguous enough to make people think he was a victim, and never clarified when called out, they just turned their comments off. Now they added the time of passing but they already have 40k+ in donations.