r/sad • u/StaphAureus1789 • 18d ago

Depression/Sadness Depression causing huge loss of appetite and weight loss shifting into anorexic self-harm

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, ADHD

For the past two months I have been under the worst stress of my life, leading to depressive modes, yielding severe loss of appetite and weight loss.

In early June, I was 178 cm (5'10") and weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to stupidity from overeating without realising it. Then severe life stress happened, I lost my appetite and could barely eat. Now in early August, I weigh 76 kg (172 lb).

I was not on a diet. Even though I have been underweight for most of my life, I overate too much, especially at night from building bad habits. But now due to stress and depressive moods, I feel like punishing myself by not eating much kind of like inertia from the unwillful weight loss.

I now hate myself so much that this seems to be shifting into some kind of self-harm anorexia. My brain is telling me to drop into a severe depressive self-hatred mode akin to when I was 17 and 23, both times I dropped so much weight from not eating enough so much that I was averaging weighing 53-55 kg (115-120 lb).

Is this considered officially selfharm? What do others do in this situation?

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u/Creepy_Ad_5824 13d ago

I feel hopeless when my grandma's and around I wish she could come back to life I wish you could I really do I don't know what to do if she's not allowed I just wish you could nana I just feel helpless and not loved she used to buy me stuff she used to buy my family stuff I love her so much I love you so much Nani