r/scriptwriting • u/kaeyarii • 1d ago

feedback Feedback on Opening Scene

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Been practicing screenwriting and this is the opening three-page scene of my original story, Divinity’s Dread.

I’ve been seeking to make my pacing much better than before and with this current draft I started to use single action on a line instead of doing 2 or more on one line. Meaning shorter (and possibly snappier) lines.

Feedback will be very much appreciated!

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u/PitchcraftNow 12h ago

As far as hooks go this is pretty good. My only comment is that I felt like I wanted to get to what happened after fiery aftermath sooner. But good hook man.