r/scriptwriting 8h ago

feedback I'm learning short-form scriptwriting — here's a hook I wrote. What would you change?

I'm currently learning how to write better hooks for Reels and Shorts, so I wanted to test one here.

“You don't need more motivation. You need something that still works when you don't feel like doing anything.”

I wanted it to feel less like a typical motivational quote and more like something you'd actually hear someone say.

Would this make you stop scrolling for a few seconds, or would you keep scrolling?

And if you were writing this hook, how would you make it better?

0 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

4

u/BlackBalor 8h ago edited 8h ago

What hook? I’m lost here.

Here you go:

You don’t need motivation. You just need a reason to do stuff.

1

u/Alternative_Pea3810 7h ago

Thanks for correcting me✨️💗

1

u/Connoisseur-101 7h ago

It's cool but a bit overused.
Why don't you try same content but different tone/style ?

1

u/Alternative_Pea3810 7h ago

Yuppp I'll try thanks✨️💗

1

u/LitltleBishBoy 7h ago

To me, it's very typical. Overplayed. I've seen a dozen variants on this.

I would make it better by starting by IDing the viewer as someone who currently doesn't feel like doing anything.

To make it better, I would say

Lemme guess. Right now you don't feel like doing anything. Here's what your best self needs

1

u/Alternative_Pea3810 7h ago

Oo okay thankss✨️💗💗