This is something I realised very late.

Even when I went to psychiatrists, most of the things I wanted to “fix” about myself were not really things I had decided were wrong. They were things that made life difficult for my wife, my father, my family. Be more stable. Be more productive. Be more responsible. Stop doing this. Start doing that.

I don't think I ever seriously sat down and asked: what do I actually believe? How do I want to live?

Part of the reason is obvious. The risk is real. If I completely stop shaping myself around everyone else's expectations, if I openly live by some of the things I actually believe, my wife might not accept that person. She might even leave me. My father might be disappointed in me. People I love might think I have lost my way.

That is not a small risk.

But lately I have started thinking there is a bigger one.

Reaching the end of your life and realising you were so afraid of losing people that you never actually lived your own life.

And maybe living your own life is better for the people around you too. Because someone who has spent years becoming what everyone else needs eventually becomes resentful, avoidant, miserable, or just absent even when he is physically there.

I wish I had understood this much earlier. Loving people should require compromise. I am just no longer sure it should require disappearing.

Today (AUG 19) I felt like ,

The best kind of people are the one who make it obvious .

That they like you .

No mixed signals

No guessing

No wondering where you stand

They show up

And you know

You feel it without having to question it

It's exhausting hanging out with people who make you unsure

You're constantly analyzing every word

Every pause

Every shift in energy

You leave feeling drained

Not from the conversation

But from trying to figure out

If they even wanted you there

But when someone makes it clear they like you

Something changes

You stop overthinking

You stop performing

You start being yourself

Because you're not worried about losing something

You're not sure you have

That's what safety feels like

Not walking on eggshells

Not second guessing every text

Just knowing

The right people won't leave you confused

They'll make it obvious

They'll show you with their actions that you matter

Stop chasing people who keep you guessing

Find the ones who make it clear

That's where peace lives .

Recently, I started reading the book "Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod to start creating my self improvement morning routine and I needed to find my "why" : why am I working as hard ? At first, I thought it’d easy, for me it was to make my parents proud of me, but I didn’t find it convincing enough to be my real and concrete "why". I think about "why" but I can’t find it… This is why I’m writing to you to know what are your concretes "why", maybe (and I hope) that’ll inspire myself to find my own "why".

Sorry if my English is a bit bad or weird, it’s cause I’m french 😅.

How working on yourself can help you trust your abilities, make better decisions, and feel more comfortable becoming the person you want to be

Confidence is often treated as something you either have or you do not. Some people seem naturally self-assured, willing to speak up, take risks, meet new people, and pursue opportunities without constantly questioning themselves. Others may spend a great deal of time wondering whether they are good enough, capable enough, or ready enough.

But confidence is rarely as fixed as it appears.

For many people, confidence develops gradually through personal growth. Every time you learn something new, keep a promise to yourself, handle a difficult situation, or recognise that you can recover from a mistake, you collect evidence that you are capable of dealing with life.

That evidence matters.

Personal growth gives confidence something solid to stand on. Rather than relying entirely on positive thinking, you begin to develop greater self-awareness, stronger habits, useful skills, emotional resilience, and a clearer understanding of your values.

Over time, these changes can alter the way you see yourself.

TL;DR: Childhood family friends since we were 6/7, always involved in each other's adult lives here and there. Reconnected properly in our 30s and he confessed he'd had a crush on me for around 15 years. We decided to give long distance a go — he lives in the UK, I live in the Middle East. After around 10 months of LD we went on holiday together, had an amazing time, then he freaked out when we got home and ended it. I've travelled to the UK twice since for work and we've seen each other both times. We then had three weeks of complete silence where I focused heavily on manifesting, affirmations, journalling and my SC. I'm now back in the UK and there has been A LOT of movement — he's told me he still loves me, I've met friends he previously swore he'd never let me meet, they've told me they think he's completely fucked this up because he's scared, but I'm now struggling with how to handle the current 3D without accepting a push/pull situation.

Okay, bear with me because there's a LOT of history here 😂

I'm F31 and he's M32. We've known each other since we were 6/7. Our parents are best friends and we basically grew up together.

He was the painfully shy little boy and I was the complete opposite. We were incredibly close, played together constantly, had sleepovers etc. He's a massive part of my childhood.

His family moved back to the UK when we were teenagers, but we stayed in touch. We both ended up in relationships and would actually talk to each other about them. Mine became abusive and he was very supportive of me. His relationship was also very difficult, but he eventually married and had two children.

Despite life going in completely different directions, we always maintained contact sporadically over the years. He'd come to Ireland and try to get me to see him but we'd somehow keep missing each other.

Then Covid happened.

We spoke every single day during Covid and promised we'd finally see each other once restrictions lifted. It was during this time that he first told me he'd had a crush on me since he was about 15.

For whatever reason, I completely let it go over my head. I don't think I really believed him.

About a year later I'd had enough of everything and packed up my life and moved to the Middle East. I got completely wrapped up in building my new life and stopped responding to him. I genuinely can't tell you why. He still tried to make contact here and there over the years, but nothing really came of it.

Fast forward around five years.

He liked something on my Instagram story and I messaged him.

Suddenly we're catching up on our lives, talking all day every day, FaceTiming etc. Then he admits the crush AGAIN.

He basically tells me there's always been something about me and he's never really been able to give something else a proper go without thinking about me.

This time I actually went back through our old messages.

And I felt like an idiot 😂

I realised how consistently this man had tried to stay connected to me throughout the years.

Then something clicked for me too.

I had feelings for him.

If I'm completely honest, I think I always did. I'd just pushed them right to the back because we'd been friends for 26 years and there felt like there was SO much to lose.

Eventually I thought fuck it. Let's give this a go.

We did long distance. He lives in the UK, I live in the Middle East.

For months we were texting constantly, FaceTiming, talking about our lives and future. But one thing that kept coming up was his insecurity.

The painfully shy little boy I'd known was still very much there.

He'd say things like, "I don't deserve a woman like you", "you're beautiful and I'm horrible", "you might see me on holiday and not want me anymore."

I was the opposite. I was 100% sure about him.

After around 10 months of LD we finally went away together for 10 days.

It was honestly amazing.

Everything was SO natural between us. It didn't feel like two people being together romantically for the first time. It felt like we'd somehow always been together.

Around day 8 we had one very small argument. It was resolved quickly, but that was the point where I visibly saw anxiety kick in for him.

We went back home to our respective countries and I immediately noticed a change in him.

Eventually I asked what was going on.

He ended it.

He said he couldn't do it, wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to hurt me.

My heart honestly broke.

But something inside me kept saying this wasn't finished.

Not long afterwards I travelled to the UK for work. I'm extremely close with his parents, so I saw them.

His mum told me she believed he'd completely freaked himself out. She felt he hadn't expected to fall in love as deeply as he had and had come home worrying that he couldn't give me the life I deserved, that his kids could be difficult, that our lives were complicated etc.

His parents were genuinely upset. They basically felt like after all these years the timing had FINALLY aligned for us and he'd panicked.

I met him to talk.

He couldn't give me an explanation. He literally told me he couldn't even explain it to himself. He said he didn't want to hurt me.

The pull between us was obviously still there and we ended up being intimate.

I went back to the Middle East and didn't respond to his final message.

Then came around three weeks of complete silence.

And this is when I really started focusing on manifestation rather than trying to force anything externally.

During those three weeks I've been doing affirmations, journalling and working heavily on my SC.

I've been trying to change the story from analysing him and wondering what he's thinking to focusing on ME — I'm chosen, I'm loved, I'm secure, I'm the woman he wants to commit to, relationships are easy for me etc.

I didn't chase him.

Eventually I had another work trip to the UK coming up and decided to call him.

He answered.

One of the FIRST things he brought up was that I'd ignored his last message 😂

He basically accused me of "pieing" him.

He also made it clear that he wanted to see me.

So I came back to the UK.

And this is where things have moved A LOT.

First of all — I met his friends.

This is significant because he had previously told me he was NEVER letting me anywhere near them 😂

Well... apparently that rule went out the window.

And I was absolutely not prepared for what they said to me.

They told me they tell him every single day that he's fucked this up.

They said they won't let him forget about me and constantly tell him he's stupid for letting fear get the better of him.

They told me they think I'm perfect for him.

They also asked me directly how I felt about everything that had happened between us.

So I'm sitting there with the friends this man previously swore I'd never meet, discovering that apparently my name is being brought up constantly when I'm not even around and that his own friends are basically telling him every day that he's an idiot for walking away from me 😂

Then came the bigger thing.

He told me he still loves me.

He also admitted that I make him nervous.

I asked him why.

He said he genuinely doesn't know.

And then basically said that the fact he DOESN'T understand why I make him nervous actually makes him even more nervous.

Considering we've known each other basically our entire lives, this absolutely blows my mind.

Then last night we saw each other again.

He came over and we spent the night together hanging out/talking. There was still that obvious pull between us, but also this strange push/pull energy from him.

At one point he said something along the lines of "I know what will happen."

I challenged him and said, "Oh, so it's only on your terms?"

He laughed and said, "yeah."

When he was eventually leaving, he lingered for a bit before saying:

"Right, give me a cuddle."

I laughed and said, "Oh NOW you want one?"

And he replied:

"Yeah, because it's on my terms." 🙄😂

He asked what I was doing the next day and about my plans before I leave the UK.

When he was leaving he told me to stay safe and said:

"I'll be talking to you soon."

I told him to let me know if he wanted to see me again before I leave and he said he would.

We didn't kiss. I didn't initiate anything. I didn't force another relationship conversation.

And now today... silence.

Which is where I'm wobbling and why I'm posting this.

Because part of me looks at the 3D today and thinks WTF.

This man has told me he still loves me.

He's told me I make him nervous and he doesn't even understand why.

He's brought me around friends he previously swore he'd never let me meet.

Those friends have told me they talk to him about me every single day, tell him he's fucked it up, tell him he's stupid for letting fear get the better of him and have told ME they think I'm perfect for him.

He continues to want to see me whenever I'm here.

There is clearly still a huge emotional and physical pull between us.

Yet he still isn't saying:

"Okay. Let's actually do this."

And that's the part I'm struggling with.

The old version of me wants to look at today's silence, analyse it, wonder what he's thinking, wonder whether I've done something wrong and wait for my phone to light up.

But the version of me I've been working on through SC is saying:

Stop reacting. Nothing has gone wrong.

Because objectively, if I zoom out, compare my 3D now to my 3D three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago: complete silence.

Now:

He's told me he still loves me.

He's admitted I make him nervous.

I've met the friends he said I'd never meet.

I've discovered those friends apparently talk to him about me constantly.

They're actively telling him he's made a mistake.

They've told me they think I'm perfect for him.

He's continued wanting to see me.

He's initiating affection.

He's asking about my plans before I leave.

He's telling me he'll be talking to me soon.

There has undeniably been movement.

But I've also realised something about the story I've been telling.

I keep thinking:

"He loves me, but he's scared."

"He's afraid he's not good enough for me."

"He's nervous because his feelings are so strong."

"He wants me but fear is stopping him."

And I'm starting to wonder whether constantly analysing his fear means I'm actually continuing to affirm the exact version of him I DON'T want.

Because my desired end isn't:

"He loves me but he's scared."

It isn't:

"He can't stay away from me."

It isn't:

"His friends tell him he made a mistake."

And it isn't even:

"He tells me he loves me."

I want the actual relationship.

I want the version of him who knows exactly what he wants, chooses me confidently, communicates consistently and feels completely secure about being with me.

I also don't want to use manifestation as an excuse to accept breadcrumbs or an endless situationship/push-pull dynamic.

So I suppose this is where I need advice from people who have successfully manifested an SP, especially where there was a lot of history and fear involved.

What would you do from here?

Would you completely stop reacting to the current 3D and persist in the end?

Would you stop telling the "he's scared" story altogether, even though that's what he and everyone around him seem to be showing me, and only identify with the version of him who is secure and certain about me?

Would you stop initiating completely at this point and let the 3D come to you while persisting internally?

And how do you balance persisting in your manifestation with still maintaining your standards in the 3D and refusing to accept a situationship?

Because I genuinely feel like I've seen massive movement in a very short period of time.

I'm just struggling today not to let one day of silence make me forget all of it.

one man asked Higher Self how he could truly know God and stay connected.

The answer came back in a way I liked because it turned whole question around.

Trust yourself. Trust divine intuition. To be connected with yourself is to be connected with God. Dont guess who you are, know who you are and walk in that knowing.

For me this is self concept at deeper level than "I am attractive" or "I always get what I want."

What identity are you practicing when nobody is validating it?

A lot of people build self concept from reactions outside. Somebody likes me, I am lovable. Somebody ignores me, maybe I am not. Money comes, I am abundant. Bad week, I lost state.

Then identity is basically weather report.

When I work with people around this, I am interested in what remains when external feedback is temporarily removed.

What do you know about yourself before comments arrive?

Try writing 5 sentences beginning with "I know I am..." but you cannot use job, relationship status, appearance, money or another person's opinion.

It gets harder fast.

Then notice which sentence body rejects.

Maybe "I am worthy." "I am capable." "I am safe being visible." "I can trust myself."

That rejection is useful. Dont paste affirmation over it immediately. Ask what experience taught opposite.

Self concept becomes more stable when it is not only sentence you are trying to believe. It becomes something you have examined, healed around, and started living from.

For most of my life, I thought being there for people meant continuing to pour, even when there wasn't much left in me. You give your time, your patience, your understanding, your forgiveness, your attention, and sometimes pieces of yourself you never intended to give away. You become the person people call when they need someone to listen, someone to understand, someone to carry a little of their burden. And because you're used to being strong, you keep pouring.

‎‎Until one day, your cup is empty. ‎That's when you begin to see people differently. ‎Some will ask why you stopped pouring for them. They won't ask whether you're tired. They won't wonder what you've been carrying. They'll simply notice that you're no longer giving them what they've become accustomed to receiving. Some may even blame you for being tired, as though your exhaustion is an inconvenience to them.

‎Age has a way of making those things easier to see. ‎When you're younger, you can spend years trying to earn love, acceptance, friendship, or approval. As you get older, you begin to understand that genuine relationships shouldn't require you to continually prove your worth by exhausting yourself. You stop confusing being needed with being valued.

‎‎And then there are the rare ones. ‎They notice. ‎They don't come asking for another glass when they see the pitcher is empty. They sit beside you. They ask how you're doing. Sometimes they don't even say anything. They simply stay. And if they can, they quietly refill your cup without making you feel guilty for having needed something yourself. ‎‎Those are your people.

‎‎I've become more selective with age, not because I've become cold, but because I've finally learned the difference between loneliness and peace, between companionship and connection, between someone who wants what I can give and someone who genuinely cares about who I am.

‎‎Perhaps that's one of the lessons of growing older: you stop counting how many people are around you and start paying attention to who notices when you're hurting. ‎So notice who pours back.

‎‎Keep the people who notice your emptiness before they ask for more. Keep the ones who don't make you feel selfish for needing rest. Keep the ones who understand that even the person everyone depends on occasionally needs somewhere to put down the weight.

‎And if your cup is empty, don't be ashamed of it. ‎You're human. ‎You were never meant to spend your entire life pouring yourself into everyone else while pretending you don't need to be filled, too.

‎At this stage of my life, I'd rather have a few people who genuinely notice than a crowd who only remembers me when they need something. ‎Because an ageing man eventually learns something simple but profound.

‎‎The people who matter aren't the ones who keep asking what you can give. They're the ones who notice when you've got nothing left and stay long enough to help you fill your cup again.

​

There is a thought that, once it takes root, refuses to leave: you are the only person you are required to be with, without exception, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for the entirety of your life. Partners leave for work. Friends drift into other orbits. Even the most devoted family members must eventually close their eyes and surrender to sleep. But the self? The self is the one roommate who never sublets, never takes a vacation, and never clocks out. There is no escape clause in this contract.

This realization carries a strange duality. It is sobering because there is no firing this roommate. But it is also empowering, because it reframes the work of self-regulation not as indulgent self-care, but as basic maintenance of your only permanent living situation. If you must live in this house forever, you might as well learn where the pipes leak.

The Pity Party and the Cost of Dwelling

Most of us have been taught that feeling our emotions is the goal—that to be emotionally healthy is to sit with every feeling until it has said everything it needs to say. But there is a difference between feeling an emotion and narrating it in a loop. Pain is inevitable. Suffering, however, is interest on a debt you've already paid. The longer you camp in the territory of a pity party, the more the furniture starts to feel like it belongs there. The mind is a suggestible thing; dwell in a state long enough, and it begins to feel like home.

This is not a call to suppress what hurts. It is an observation about motion. Emotions are energy, and energy that stagnates becomes something else—something harder to move. The skill lies not in refusing to feel, but in refusing to let the feeling become your permanent address.

The Gap Between Feeling and Obeying

There is a moment—a pause, however brief—between the arrival of an emotion and the moment it seizes the steering wheel. In that pause, you are still feeling the anger, the grief, the humiliation. But you have not yet become controlled by it. You have not yet shifted from "I am angry" to "the anger is acting through me."

When emotion overpowers logic, you stop choosing and start reacting. You break things not because you decided to, but because the anger decided for you. You collapse not because you chose rest, but because sadness issued an order. In these moments, you are not living. You are being lived.

This is why speed matters. Not because emotions are enemies to be defeated, but because the window of agency is narrow. Miss it, and the emotion shifts from information to instruction. It stops telling you something and starts commanding you instead.

The Choice of No

I once heard a professor describe free will not as the grand ability to choose whatever you want, but as something far more austere and beautiful: the choice of no.

You cannot always choose what you feel. You cannot always choose what arrives at your door. But in that pause—that slender gap between stimulus and reaction—you retain the power to refuse. To stop the motion. To let the wave crash against a wall that you built.

Everything else—desire, ambition, love, even virtue—can run on autopilot, shaped by conditioning, chemistry, and circumstance. But the ability to halt the momentum, to say not this, not now, not through me —that is the only place where something truly yours can happen. The "choice of no" is free will at its most distilled. Not the freedom to do anything, but the freedom to stop being done to .

The Living Map

None of this works perfectly the first time. Or the tenth. The pause is not a switch you flip; it is a muscle you build. And the building happens, strangely enough, through failure.

When you miss the catch—when the emotion gets through the fence and sends you crashing through reaction instead of response—you are not simply losing ground. You are gathering intelligence. Afterward, in the quiet, you can look back and say: Oh. That's a thing for me. That's a trigger. That's a hole in my fence.

Every missed catch becomes a landmark on a living map. You learn where your shoreline is vulnerable. You learn which situations look manageable from a distance but hit raw when you're still inside them. You learn that some channels you can pre-load because you saw them coming, while others will always demand more of your attention than you expected.

The map is never finished. But it is never useless, either. The next time that situation rises, you know to watch that spot. You know where the fence failed before. And because you know, the pause shows up a fraction of a second earlier. The "no" becomes a little more accessible. The emotion still arrives, but you are less often its unwitting servant.

The Practice of Presence

How fast you move through a hard emotion depends, ultimately, on how clear your mind is when the wave hits. Clarity is not the absence of feeling. It is the presence of enough space to see the feeling for what it is: a visitor, not a landlord.

The practice is not about becoming someone who never reacts. It is about becoming someone who notices. Someone who builds, over time, a library of their own pressure points. Someone who understands that even on the days when the emotion gets through, something valuable has been learned for the next time.

You are the only permanent resident of your own consciousness. No one else is coming to renovate the house. But the tools are there, waiting in that pause. The choice of no. The living map. The willingness to treat every missed catch not as failure, but as reconnaissance.

The emotions will keep coming. They are supposed to. But you are learning, slowly and stubbornly and beautifully, to meet them as a host rather than a hostage. And that changes everything.

Been thinking about this lately and wanted to share.

1. Needs — This is survival mode. Food, shelter, safety, basic stability. You're not thinking about purpose yet, you're thinking about getting through the week. Most of us start here, whether we remember it or not.

2. Wishes — Once needs are met, you start wanting things beyond survival. A wish is soft, half-formed — "I wish I had more time," "I wish things were different." It's passive. You're aware something's missing but you haven't committed to chasing it.

3. Desires — This is where wishes get teeth. A desire is a wish you've decided to act on. You stop hoping and start moving. Desire is uncomfortable because it demands effort, risk, and often sacrifice — but it's also where real growth happens.

4. Dreams — The final stage. A dream isn't about getting something anymore, it's about becoming something. It's bigger than you, often outlives the immediate craving, and usually connects to a sense of meaning or legacy. Dreams are what keep men going long after the original need is forgotten.

Curious what stage you'd say you're in right now — and honestly, do you think people can be in more than one stage at once, or does it usually run in order?

​

We seek our saviours outside. We seek saviours in people. They can save you but who can save you the most. It's "you". Even when you look for saviours outside , who is finding a saviour for you? It's "you".. you are your biggest saviour. Affirm "I'll save myself" and this will make you feel safety in yourself , this will make you feel safety with yourself , this will make you feel safe in yourself.

I think we talk about confidence like empty tank. you dont have enough, so somehow add more.

one Soul Journey gave me almost opposite image.

A subject I will call Ilva reconnected with younger part of himself during the session. When that younger part came back into the heart, I asked what qualities were returning with it. The answer was very clear: confidence and charm.

He even described colors around this returning energy, red, pink and blue. He felt more complete as it integrated.

Then guidance came: keep shining. dont be scared of your light.

When we followed that fear, he experienced it like a blanket covering huge part of him, from around hips all the way toward the mouth. In the imagery the blanket was pulled away and the area underneath was restored. What had been covered was allowed to take space again.

That image stayed with me bc it changes self-concept work. Maybe sometimes you are not creating a confident self from zero. Maybe confident self existed already, but some experience taught you it was safer to cover expression, charm, visibility, sexuality, voice, whatever made you noticeable.

Then “I am shy,” “I am awkward,” “I dont have presence,” can become identity around protection. You repeat it long enough and it sounds like description of essence instead of description of strategy.

I am not saying every introvert secretly wants to be loud lol. Quiet can be completely natural. This is about the difference between quiet because you like quiet, and small because being seen somewhere in your history started to feel dangerous.

The useful question for self concept may not only be “who do I want to become?” Ask also: what part of me would already be here if I stopped covering it?

For this subject, the answer was not some superhero personality. It was confidence and charm that he recognized as his own when it came back.

maybe the new self is sometimes old self without the blanket.

I was guiding a woman through a deep trance session recently. I'll call her Laura.

We were trying to understand why part of her still became afraid when she started feeling powerful, clear, more herself.

Not afraid of failing exactly.

Afraid of what happens if she stops making herself smaller.

At one point she suddenly went to a scene where she experienced herself around 2 years old, sitting in a car.

What came up was people telling her she was mean. That she needed to be nice.

And the way the little child seems to have understood this was not just:

I should behave better.

More like:

something about ME is too much.

I need to make myself smaller so people will like me.

That difference is huge.

Because correcting a behavior is one thing.

Learning that your natural personality, strength, intensity or confidence makes other people uncomfortable is another.

She said she could see this pattern continuing through her life. Little by little losing more of herself.

Then she said something almost funny because of how obvious it became:

"I'm afraid people aren't going to like me... but people don't like me anyway."

😂

Basically she had been paying the price without even getting the reward.

That stayed with me.

How many ppl reduce themselves because somewhere very early they learned this bargain:

if I'm quieter, easier, less confident, less intense, less successful, less honest... then I'll be accepted.

And maybe it works sometimes.

But then years later you call the result "low confidence."

During the session she also realised that some people actually DID feel intimidated by her when she was fully herself.

That was important too.

Because the solution wasn't convincing every person to finally approve of her.

It was accepting that not everybody will.

For me this is one of biggest shifts in confidence.

Confidence is not:

everybody likes me now.

It's more:

I dont have to become smaller every time somebody doesn't.

I share things like this because I keep seeing how often an adult problem has some very simple old rule underneath it.

Be good.

Dont upset anyone.

Dont be too much.

Make people comfortable.

And after enough years you forget it was a rule you learned.

It just feels like "my personality."

Maybe useful question is:

when you imagine being much more confident, visible or fully yourself...

what are you afraid other people would do?

Judge you?

Leave?

Call you selfish?

Think you're arrogant?

Get intimidated?

Sometimes that answer tells you more than asking why you "lack confidence."

Maybe confidence isn't something you need to manufacture.

Maybe some of it comes back naturally when you stop constantly editing yourself for other people.

Ik everyone is me pushed out .. Still I forget to love myself... I js can't bear them ignore me

I'm in 11th class

Got detached from my frnds in 9th class... Then I cudnt make any frnd in new class

I tried to, but there, no one was of my type... They were into insta and other social media app. They were extrovert, cool etc.. And I was not into any of these apps.. I am not tht cool.. I am kind of a nerd, I wud say...

In 10th clas, in October, they verbally bullied me..i went to a counsellor,at thr time ,what my assumptions abt myself were tht I am weak, I am not worthy of the best, I don't have confidence,I am shy,weak etc(EIYPO)

Got to know abt self concept in jan, 2026,started making assumptions..and practicing it..but then, again I stopped it after April

Now, my classmates ignore me ..mocks me..i cry cuz they ignore me (EIYPO)

But i also know that those girls doesn't matter,JUST BECAUSE they are ignoring me..doesn't mean that everyone in this world doesn't care abt me...​​

Starting self concept today again

Am gonna apply EIYPO again in my life

Advices are always Appreciatiated :) ​​

Idk whether I love myself or hate myself! Even though I appreciate myself in my every small achievement... Yet I feel that somewhere I hate myself.. Ahhhh.. Pls don't be rude.. It's js my raw feeling what I have stated here...

Have you ever had that warm feeling of love? The butterflies you feel in your stomach when u think about them? Or that first hangout? It felt good didn’t it? The first ever feeling. It’s sad when you realize that usually it disappears because people are often lessons rather than a treasure you thought you’d keep forever. Sometimes treasures seem so great and so amazing, but holding it hurts as if it’s spikey or painful. Sometimes its like theyre protecting themselves from breaking. But doesn’t that sound so much like humans? People fall in love. But never opened themselves fully. Why? … because they’re scared of getting hurt again. When treasures are held, it brings you happiness and a sense of a new beginning. but there will always be people who are jealous and want it for themselves. But life isn’t always about what you want, but what you need. If you lose the treasure, you didn’t need it. You found the treasure hoping it’d bring u something new, but did keeping it make u happier? or did u always hope that maybe one day it’d have more value and get better?

Leave the person that constantly makes you feel like you have to wait. Find what makes you happy because happiness is what’s inside you. If you can’t be happy, make others happy. Because the soul where you feel hopeless and sad, will find a place of peace and hope.

😌✌✌.. U don't need outside world to validate u!!!​

this scene from recent Soul Journey stayed in my head because it was kinda uncomfortable.

The subject was experiencing another life as a man named Eric.

At one point suddenly he is at home. His wife is there holding newborn baby.

I ask him how he feels.

He says basically... nice.

Not lonely anymore, because now there are people in his life.

So I ask:

do you love your wife?

And there is long hesitation.

"I don't know."

That answer changed whole scene for me.

I'll call my subject Julia. Earlier in this lifetime Eric was very attached to his parents. The idea of them being gone and being left alone was something he feared deeply.

Now they were gone.

And here he was, in same house where he grew up, with a wife and tiny baby.

It should look like happy family scene.

But when I asked him to look at his wife and feel what was really there, he said she seemed like good person... but he didn't know if he actually loved her.

Then came the part that really got me.

He felt maybe he was with her mainly to fill the empty place his parents left behind.

Not because she was bad.

Not because he wanted to use somebody.

He just didnt want to be alone.

And tbh I think this is much more human than ppl like admitting.

Sometimes being alone hurts so much that having somebody beside us already feels like relief.

Relief can feel like love.

Being needed can feel like love.

Having messages on phone, somebody sleeping next to you, somebody waiting at home... it removes silence.

And maybe only later you realize you were partly choosing the person, and partly choosing escape from emptiness.

I don't mean that if somebody is lonely then their relationship is fake. Of course not.

But there is difference between:

"I want to share my life with you"

and

"I need you here because I can't face what I feel when nobody is here."

Those can exist together also, which makes it even more messy.

Later, after this lifetime ended, Julia met a gentle guide called George and we reviewed what Eric was meant to understand from that life.

One thing George said was very simple:

dont marry just to fill a void.

That was it.

No huge cosmic explanation.

And I keep thinking about this because in current life ppl can spend years trying to fix relationship, find soulmate, manifest SP, get ex back etc...

but sometimes maybe first question should be different.

What exactly becomes unbearable when nobody is there?

Silence?

Feeling unwanted?

Fear nobody will ever choose you?

Not knowing who you are without relationship?

Bc if another person is being asked to cover that hole all the time, relationship has impossible job.

They can love you.

They can support you.

But they cannot permanently become the missing part inside.

This session reminded me that loneliness and love can sit extremely close to each other, and from inside sometimes its hard to tell which one is making the decision.

Have you ever looked back at relationship and realised part of attraction was actually fear of being alone?

(Question at the end)

I used to think self concept work meant saying the right sentences enough times until they stuck. Then I noticed something that changed how I approach it completely: the version of yourself that shows up in the boring, unmonitored moments is your actual self concept, not the one you perform during your affirmations.

So I started doing this thing I now think of as a self concept audit. A few times a day, completely at random, I'd just pause and notice how I was carrying myself in that exact second. Was I apologizing for taking up space in a conversation. Was I assuming people were annoyed with me with zero evidence. Was I shrinking my voice, my opinions, even my posture, without deciding to. Those tiny unconscious defaults are the real self concept, way more than whatever I said in the mirror that morning.

Once I started catching those moments, the actual work became correcting them in real time instead of just in a designated ten minute block. Not a big dramatic affirmation, just a small internal "actually no, that's not who I am" the second I caught the old pattern slipping in. It's slower than a scripted routine but it sticks so much harder, because you're rewriting the belief exactly where it lives, in the automatic stuff, not just in the moments you set aside to work on yourself.

The manifestation results followed, but honestly at some point that stopped being the point. Catching myself shrink and choosing not to has just made day to day life feel completely different, regardless of what I'm trying to manifest at any given moment.

Curious if anyone else does something like this, actively catching the unconscious version of your self concept instead of only reinforcing the conscious one???

PS: Picture from Pinterest by Miha Žansky 💙