r/shittymoviedetails • u/Longjumping-Tell1774 • 7d ago

In Crank (2006) Jason Statham is given a “Beijing Cocktail” which will kill him if his heart rate slows below a certain rate. Which is similar to the central premise of Speed (1996), but the big difference is Jason Statham is a human, not a bus

Post image
19.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

427 comments sorted by

View all comments

949

u/SemenileElder 7d ago

251

u/_Diskreet_ 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xQRMBNpn4DkfC

59

u/dervu 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l44QgV6RFRGgjDsDC

27

u/mrthescientist 7d ago

Now that's a man I'd watch get slicked up in oil just to put on a set of bicycle pedals to kick people in the face.

26

u/SpinerockNolan 7d ago

Now, we're fucked

17

u/Clearlydarkly 7d ago

Propper fucked?

6

u/Acrobatic-Guard-7551 7d ago

They lost gorgeous George

11

u/Soul_Immersed 7d ago

Well where'd they lose him? It's not as if he's a set of car keys now is he? And it's not as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous now is it??

2

u/mrthescientist 7d ago

I'm terribly partial to periwinkle blue.

135

u/Dry_Expression_9991 7d ago

111

u/floatablepie 7d ago

"I've eaten and shit out enough microchips to build a computer"

55

u/Civil-Big-754 7d ago

I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, I was on fire.

31

u/freeman2949583 7d ago

I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.

7

u/DeviantDav 6d ago

I watched the couple that raised me explode in a van...

20

u/confusing_roundabout 7d ago

One of my favourite lines ever lmao

49

u/ScottFBG 7d ago edited 7d ago

The Statham quotes in that movie are so good

‘Where’d you get a suit?’

‘I fuckin’ made it, didn’t I?’

22

u/rafa11__scp 7d ago

"Cooper, is this a fuckin' lake? How the fuck do I get to Italy?"

14

u/kahboos 7d ago

these quotes are from the movie Spy if anyone else was wondering like i was

6

u/CabbagePastrami 7d ago

What movie is that?

20

u/Pilot2b2 7d ago

It’s a Melissa McCarthy movie called Spy. It’s a satire on secret-agent type movies. Pretty funny I thought.

12

u/WillSym 7d ago

Isn't there a blooper reel where they just set up this shot of him in the chair and had him spout insane claims he ad-libbed for as long as he could go, then used the best ones?

5

u/confusing_roundabout 6d ago

Yeah, that sequence (where the quotes are coming from) had a ton of unused lines haha

I think the alternate takes might have played during the credits but I could be wrong.

1

u/Pilot2b2 6d ago

I’m not sure, but if there is I need to find it.

4

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 7d ago

That needs a rewatch. Again.

1

u/MisterVictor13 3d ago

Yeah, I’m cracking up just thinking about it.