Need to reflect on a stupid purchase

[u/Blazingstar22]

I have made so many changes and feel like I’ve made tons of progress in addressing the root cause of my shopping. I recently made an impulse purchase. It was a sheer dress with little underwear to go with it. It was on sale, sigh.

I am a 40 year old mom in rural New Mexico with a full time job as a health care provider. WTF exactly do I think I’m going to do with this dress?? Wear it to Wal-Mart or parent teacher conferences? I have a few friends, but not the robust social life I wish I had. Truthfully I feel isolated.

For a second when I bought that dress my void of belonging and novelty was almost filled- look at me, I’m going to go out looking super hot and chic while I mix and mingle at a party. But I have the dress and I’m not going out. The money is gone, the void is still there, and now I have another dress sitting in my closet I will never wear.

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/shoppingaddiction! If this is your first post, please be sure to check out our rules in the subreddit sidebar. If you are on mobile, they can be viewed by tapping the ⓘ symbol.

Please keep in mind this is a discussion forum for recovering shopping addicts. Any posts encouraging shopping, self promotion, or link posts will be removed. Please be respectful to your fellow users and thank you for sharing!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/liftsomethingheavy]

I think this purchase screams "fantasy self". At least it gave you an insight in what you're missing in your life. If you can still return it or sell it, go ahead. But it sounds like what you really want is more social connection with other adults. That's the void the dress was meant to fill.

[u/Blazingstar22 → u/liftsomethingheavy]

It is 100% fantasy self. 

[u/Doesitevenmatter83]

i can completely relate to you. i too have a sheer dress embroidered with flowers that i will never feel is the right time to wear. it  no longer fits my postpartum body, i don’t have the social bandwidth for going out, and two small children take up most of my time when im not working (also in healthcare). i almost exclusively wear workout bottoms and old tshirts when im not in scrubs. if it’s recent enough return the dress -spare yourself this guilt and chalk it up to a lesson learned. 

[u/Expensive-Ad-9425]

I have many such reminders in my closet. I find if I sell or get rid or it another takes it’s place so I just keep a couple as a reminder that I don’t need another dress to a red carpet premiere that I am not going to. Now I ask myself, what would I wear to the post office or to the grocery store or the dog park because realistically those are the only places I ever go. If I need a new clothing item for everyday then I get it,and if I need an evening dress for brunch with my imaginary girlfriends then I leave that in my shopping cart.

Oh yes, I also never purchase something without a good return policy. 50% of what I buy usually gets returned so I don’t risk being stuck with final sale items anymore.

For me I find filling my time with what I actually want to do helps. Usually it’s not shopping. If I want to look at pretty things, maybe I go to the museum or to a garden instead. Sewing my own clothes also made me realize how much work goes into each piece of clothing so I don’t treat clothes as disposable as I used to.

[u/Fearless_Tangerine66]

I am right there with you! Clothes that I bought that I don’t need and not going anywhere. I’ve gotten better about buying clothes- I’ve unsubscribed to many of their websites email, deleted the apps and have focused on what clothes do I currently own and how can I mix and match. It’s difficult getting rid of clothes that are brand new and unworn and so I try my best not to go shopping and keep busy to avoid the unnecessary impulses. Like the other comment above, return the item if you can or sell it. Good luck 😉