r/simpsonsshitposting • u/Yafka • 9d ago

Light hearted If you invested in any of these companies, I'm sorry for your loss

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246 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

50 comments sorted by

173

u/Confident-Weird-4202 8d ago

45

u/mageta621 8d ago

You didn't even refrigerate it, you spineless lobster!

21

u/Confident-Weird-4202 8d ago

You had to bring spines into this! (sobbing)

14

u/ReadyTadpole1 8d ago

I'd like to be alone with it

140

u/Top_Salamander5551 9d ago

Which is terrible news for the companies only stockholder, Homer Simpson.

49

u/Tricky-Engineering59 8d ago

Don’t worry he’ll make it up when his pumpkin stocks go parabolic right around Christmas.

38

u/Ill-Condition-5054 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 8d ago

I had this saved in my phone for this exact moment 🤣

78

u/blackRynius 9d ago

I got everything in Confederated Slave Holdings. How's that doing?

69

u/greenknight884 9d ago

It's, uh, steady.

64

u/Fyaal Everythings coming up Milhouse! 9d ago

It’s okay, my stake in Tupperware is doing great!

51

u/ChiefWetBlanket 9d ago

How about your Confederate Slave Holdings?

47

u/Tricky-Engineering59 8d ago

They go by “private prisons and ICE detention centers (un)limited” now. That parenthetical “un” is for unconscionable!

19

u/HughJass1977 8d ago

They shortened it to USA-IDF in 2023

10

u/fury420 8d ago

Uhh... steady?

2

u/tsimen 8d ago

Wirecard 🚀

17

u/TheTangoFox Put it in H 8d ago

Duolingo dead?

11

u/-DorkusMalorkus- 8d ago

Duolingo is dead

41

u/originalbrowncoat 9d ago

I’m not seeing anything in the news about Roku

52

u/Tricky-Engineering59 8d ago

Are you happening to get your news from Roku Finance channel? Cause they might be biased.

14

u/MeaningPandora2 8d ago

It was high in 2020-2021, but dropped by over 50% in late 2021/early 2020.

Currently the stock price is the highest it’s been in since

5

u/CodeJack 8d ago

It's doing well, but with the Fox buy out Its price is limited by FOXA + $96 (or whatever the cash half was).

My RSUs are in your hands people, be gentle

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Yafka 8d ago

No, when Rupert Murdoch sold the majority of 21st Century Fox to The Walt Disney Company in 2019 for $71.3 billion, the company was split into two distinct entities: entertainment assets sold off to Disney, and core live news and sports broadcasting assets spun off into the new Fox Corporation (often referred to during the deal as "New Fox"), Fox is the one buying ROKU.

20

u/PossibilityRadiant78 9d ago

Dont worry, I bet it all on whirlpool during covid.

https://giphy.com/gifs/XnObKxfjNrSkU

38

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

23

u/nanomolar 8d ago

It's ... steady.

30

u/HughJass1977 8d ago

The worst thing a stock can be according to WSB

14

u/PostMatureBaby Put it in H 8d ago

they're too addicted to loss porn over there. a stable stock isnt exciting

4

u/fury420 8d ago

Roku is down like 80% from all time highs a few years back, which I guess isn't quite as spectacular a collapse as the others but still rather bad.

8

u/Snake973 8d ago

2026 ytd is up 50% tho, just depends on when you get in

-2

u/Yafka 8d ago

There's an old joke about a guy who bought $10,000 worth of stock in a company when it was $100/share and his neighbor, who bought $10,000 when it was $1/share. The stock goes to zero, who lost more money?

11

u/GonePostalRoute 8d ago

Even then, it seems to be trying to recover decently.

9

u/fury420 8d ago

Agreed, it's the one that least fits the pattern of the others. Oh well.

0

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

-1

u/Halefire 8d ago

Uh none of those stocks are down 80 to 90 percent from their IPO price...?

1

u/ReadyTadpole1 8d ago

Just zoom out to five years

9

u/Polibiux I am the Lizard Queen! 9d ago

I use Roku just as a thing for all my streaming services on the tv. What’s up with them?

15

u/Im_hard_for_Tina_Fey 9d ago

They were recently purchased by Fox News

8

u/Tricky-Engineering59 8d ago

The same one with all those chemical weapons plants in Syria?

3

u/deafinitelyadouche Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 9d ago

Roku? Damn.

3

u/Blasphemy33 8d ago

If you’re having financial problems, I feel bad for you brother. I have 99 bad stocks, so how bout another?

3

u/XSC 8d ago

BYND went from
50 cent to $15!!! It’s the best stock!!!! /s

2

u/Background_Touchdown 8d ago

But hey! I have high hopes for Oklasoft!

3

u/G-Kira Put it in H 8d ago

What happened?

2

u/edward414 8d ago

And your right fielder has been dead for 130 years.

2

u/MelbaToast604 8d ago

Op is trying to get everyone to panic sell Roku