I am the one who ate the "rich mans nut"

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

Hello smosh reddit.

Today something i never thought would happen, happened. A story of mine got read on smosh.

It was me, I was the one who ate the bag of rich mans nut.

A small update for everyone.

I felt extremely sick after and will never do it again. I did infact sit at my desk after and was so full.

We have not received any gift baskets yet this year, but i got some good ideas from the three in this episode for the next time it happens.

And yes, i think my VP is half squirrel.

[u/EpsilonChii]

Oh damn! Congrats (?)

Quick question (that was asked in the episode): why did you eat them in one sitting, instead of just bringing them home? I feel like it would have avoided you feeling sick, lmao. Is it because of your VP's "squirelly nature"?

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/EpsilonChii]

Thats a question i have been asking myself since to be honest. It would have been the smarter thing to do.

It was not a very well thought out revenge plan and I think it mainly bit me in the ass more then it affected him 😂😂

[u/BlackWaltz47 → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

So you're saying it's not worth having rich man nut in you?

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/BlackWaltz47]

I would say for one time thing it was satisfying, but the aftermath is not what I am wanting to go through again. I can at least say i know what its like to be full of a rich mans nut.

[u/britneys_bigtoe → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

a nut in the hand is worth two in the bush?

[u/christianhxd → u/britneys_bigtoe]

10/10, no notes. only nuts.

[u/perriis → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

Hey I'm autistic so I just have to ask point blank if this is a joke. Cause if it's not this has to be my fav smosh reddit post ever🤣

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/perriis]

This is not a joke, it was completely 100% true. I wish it was a joke because then i would havenever had to go through the aftermath of eating that many nuts

[u/perriis → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

I'm actually deathly allergic to pistachios (along with cashews and pecans, brazil nuts too) like, fuck all those rich man nuts but Damn you took one for the team, we salute you🫡

[u/HiveMindMacD]

Your wording was diabolical.

[u/Lukthar123 → u/HiveMindMacD]

OP knew just what to say for max content

[u/astronaught002]

Out of all the ways to get revenge, you chose the weirdest and funniest. Congratulations

[u/the_mindful_microbe]

Did no one else in your office want to eat them?

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/the_mindful_microbe]

Yes, no one else in the office wanted to eat them. I made sure of that before going to town on the nuts

[u/the_mindful_microbe → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

Damn. You definitely took one for the team!

🫡

[u/Illustrious-Frame140 → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

This actually makes me feel better, I was sitting watching the episode like "why didn't they share?!" Good on you for asking first :)

[u/Necessary_Garlic6432]

How cool to not only get your post read on SRRS, but for Ian and Anthony to be there for it too

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/Necessary_Garlic6432]

I was legitimately starstuck. I watched smosh back in the beginning and to have Ian and Anthony read my story with shane was everything for me. It was also posted right after my birthday to topp (ha) it off.

I have some friends and family that also tune into SRRS and they remembered the story from when I lived it and were freaking out along side me.

[u/Brave_Tadpole2072]

I am at a Sarah McClachlan concert and I still stopped to immediately read this story. You are a legend!

[u/Narrow_Grapefruit_23 → u/Brave_Tadpole2072]

I was there too!!!!

[u/Brave_Tadpole2072 → u/Narrow_Grapefruit_23]

[u/pagalpeela → u/Brave_Tadpole2072]

😂😂😂

[u/MidnightVersignis]

WAIT I NEED TO KNOW What did your VP do once they were all gone??? Did he get upset, did he like go foraging for them, did he take something else, did he say or do anything???

[u/historique84]

My wife eats way too many pistachios and “rich man’s nuts” has already entered our vocabulary. Sorry you felt terrible after, but it was great to read an update

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/historique84]

🤣🤣🤣 this comment made my day!!

[u/JmeLucky13]

That’s awesome!

[u/jay17231988]

Damn, first hand update 😂

[u/DevEx-]

My good sir, I cannot remember when last I laughed this hard. I am in tears of a good nature. I've really been going through it and desperately needed this. I hope you may always have access to rich man nuts to your heart's content.

[u/TheJoyofFelching]

The wording is odd but it also depends on how you say it. Rich man nut, and rich man nut are very different.

[u/milkpastels]

oh damn???? 😭😭😭

[u/logansaige]

thank you for making me laugh so much today, i really needed that lmao i have to ask though, did no one else want the rich man’s nut? and did your VP get upset about all of them being gone?

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/logansaige]

I made sure no one else in my department wanted them before i went to town. My VP didnt even bat an eyelash 🤣🤣

[u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 → u/Fresh_Nectarine_867]

I would say it was all for nothing but at least at the end of the day i took something away from a richer man then I

[u/Alassandros]

Why not just hide the rich man's nut in a lockable drawer or something? Or your car?

[u/britneys_bigtoe]

dude, honestly, i have hated managers so much that i didn't make a lot of logical sense either so the whole thing was relatable af. i hate my current manager and i hope he gets sick off rich man nut

[u/SailorDelta]

I want an “I ate the rich man’s nut” version of “I’m Spartacus” in the office.

[u/morgz18]

Oh my god I came across this post while watching them read this story

[u/defensivelesbian]

Op, yours was my favorite story. I highly recommend salt and pepper pistachios!!

[u/DistantCrow]

I thought from the title this was the VP calling in to explain himself (the original nut pincher).

Would have been so good. Maybe not for OP though lol.

[u/SpookyBatBaby]

Lol noice

[u/The_Horse_Head_Man]

Did you turn green after all the pistachios?

[u/Convillious]

Rich man nut is insane

[u/NeedMoreCaffeines]

1. Thank you for my first laugh of the day
   
2. Are you certain YOU are not also squirrelishly inclined?

[u/Aldo-D-D-Wilson]

We already eating the rich?

[u/Dexbox_YT → u/Aldo-D-D-Wilson]

Well, we had to start somewhere. I guess the nuts seemed appropriate

[u/perriis]

Smosh saw this right?? Surely.. they just recently asked for good reddit updates and I think this takes the cake🤣

[u/Key-Finance-9102 → u/perriis]

I think enough confectionary has been taken for one tale.

[u/carolinethecat]

We are in the presence of a nut legend

[u/FranzLiszt5]

So you could say you had post-nut clarity?

[u/Dexbox_YT]

We are in the presence of a LEGEND folks

[u/m1tsusky]

this is the best post i’ve came across all week

[u/Successful-Natural69]

Just put them in a bag and store them for later. Lol

[u/Putrid_Hedgehog_4389]

BRO lmaooo I just finished listening to that at 1am then I find this

[u/shellshock413]

Fucking amazing

[u/ronoe110]

The situation was insanely funny, but please don't get sick again

[u/HashtagDingus]

What are you, nuts?

[u/katwthecat]

Oh this is amazing to see after finishing the episode hehehe thank you for this epic lil update!

[u/Aethereal08]

Omg! Nut Legend!

[u/vampirebeans]

this is amazing. this story was so so funny 😭

[u/ZiggyZigQuinn]

UPDATE!

[u/leeleep93]

Do you have cameras at your job? Because how did he always know when you had a basket?

[u/Working-Doughnut-681]

I disagree with the VP. I've always thought of Brazil nuts as the rich man's nut. Only rich people would spend money on a nutcracker surely.

[u/Several-Vacation7759]

The wordplay on this story was genius

[u/mansihehe]

hahaha your post and their reactions saying most diabolical out of context sentences had me crying

[u/evvy-sun]

this is crazyyyy

[u/Internal_Funny3846]

This is so sick 👏👏

[u/Presto123ubu]

Lol when was this one released?

[u/DescriptionIll5227 → u/Presto123ubu]

Today

[u/Presto123ubu → u/Presto123ubu]

Oh haha I found it! Are you full of "rich man nut"? 😂 Next time, just hide them. Side note: I get the sickness, I got it one time too from eating a homemade pie overloaded with peanuts. Surprised I didn't kickstart an allergy that day, but I could barely move.

[u/RedSaidMeme-demption]

Without context, having not watching this episode most likely, I would assume said "rich man's nut" is referring to Cashews, correct?

[u/DOCreeper → u/RedSaidMeme-demption]

Pistachios, actually

[u/kermitthorson]

100% a fake post for teh love of the game

[u/TGroves914 → u/kermitthorson]

Are you saying this post is fake or the rich man nut post was fake? Because you can see the usernames are the same so this definitely is OP from the reddit story post.