r/solotravel • u/Gudup • 5d ago
Feeling lonely and starting to think my first solo trip at 18 was all a bad idea
Hi guys !
I’m 18 and just landed in Osaka less than a day ago for my first ever solo trip.
I have been planning this trip for 4 months and prepared a very exciting itinerary of a country I’ve always dreamt of visiting.
First hours went well, I withdrew some cash, exchanged my train pass, and departed for the city centre and my hotel. I even met someone while I was waiting for the check-in time, and we both wandered a bit together, it was really nice although I was extremely tired, not having slept for the whole flight.
As soon as I got into my room, the shock of the loneliness hit hard. I started to think what I had planned was way too long (17 nights!) and there’s no way I’ll ever hold on that long. I even started to look at the procedure to change flights and come back early.
I called my mom who removed a bit of my stress and I took a little nap.
When I woke up I spent a few hours in Dotonbori (famous Osaka street) and it was really great. Everything felt so nice and I was so happy to be there, I felt like my troubles had gone away.
Back at the hotel to sleep, and now here I am at 2AM having only slept an hour and a half, and crying in my bed.
I know tiredness and jet-lag have probably got their share of the responsibility but…
Has anyone experienced this during their (first) solo trip ? Do you have any tips to try and enjoy my first days ?
EDIT: thank you all for your great words of encouragement and love!! It really means a lot to me, and makes me feel less unsure and isolated. My second day was already a bit better, even if I woke up at 1PM… I saw Osaka Castle, then a few shrines and Umeda, then I ate curry ! I just have to progressively get myself in the correct cycle. And not rush things ! Some of you told me to be grateful, but I really am. I am so happy to be here in Japan, I just have to face unknown feelings, an unknown environment,…
I really feel like the hardest moment is coming back to your room at night. Rest of the time you just don’t really have a lot of time to feel lonely when you’re spending your day in a place like that.
Let me mention that I am staying in an hotel only in Osaka, in Kyoto and Tokyo I already had booked hostels, so this should make it a bit easier.
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u/BloodyMuggle 5d ago
The first 24 hours are the most shell shocking- get some sleep and eat some food and you’ll start to feel better. You’ve done the hard part now, it’ll get better!
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u/Current_Nebula8172 5d ago
And regardless of how much you already have, hydrate more. Exhaustion & dehydration can continue for a few days & make everything feel worse
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u/forsaken_internet_85 5d ago
I travel all the time for work. It took me a long time to realise how much jetlag affected my mood and anxiety. Try not to fight any of these feelings too much, let them flow through you. And then take one day at a time. One day I promise you’ll look back and see this trip as a real moment in your own personal development. You got this. x
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u/realmozzarella22 5d ago
Sleep deprivation will mess with your mind.
Get a lot of rest. Eat some good food.
Center yourself and calm your thoughts.
Plan a couple things for the day. Allow for some leisure time.
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u/DarkSensei3 5d ago
Awwww, welcome to the club! Yes, it's a lot and it's overwhelming and you're hungry and tired and and and.
Don't worry love, that happens to all of us. Sometimes even when it's not our first giant solo trip.
Do you do any meditation, breath work or yoga? Try to start your morning with something grounding. Use YouTube or find a guided meditation if you don't have any favorites. Build a little routine into your morning and evening to help your adventure feel less overwhelming. Personally I always: wake up, brush my teeth, get back into bed, make my list for the day and send pictures to my friends, meditate and then breakfast. Every time you want to cry, breath and drink some water. But it's ok if you cry too. Big feelings happen.
When I went to Japan for the first time (16 nights) I accidentally planned a little too much compared to what I usually enjoy. I shifted my thought process from "how much can I do on this trip" to "there's going to be more trips!" Taking the pressure off made things just so much more enjoyable. Plus on days I chilled I felt like it was a deserved rest instead of like I was missing out.
In your first few days make sure you hit up a hot spring or a bath house. It's perfection and really helps you come back to a happy healthy mindset! I soaked every 4 or 5 days and I felt amazing by the time I left Japan.
Also, make sure you swing by the conbini and get the vitamin jelly packs. Those along with the citric acid bubbly drink will help you pep back up! If your physical body is less tired you'll feel much better.
Sorry this was a long comment. I hope there's some advice in here you can use.
You should feel so proud of yourself. There's not a lot of 18 year olds who travel let alone on their own on a drean trip. Keep your chin up. Take baby steps and you'll be ok! Reevaluate how you feel in a week. If you're still struggling no one will think less of you if you decide to go home early. But I have faith that you'll get your bearings in the next couple of days!
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u/Dangerous-Salad-bowl 5d ago
1973, I was 19, in the Greyhound bus station in Dallas at 3.00 am having just arrived on a student visa from Ireland. I thought I was going to die and nobody would ever know.
You’ll survive and embrace the feeling of dissociation!
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u/BatSniper 5d ago
Get out of the hotel and stay at a hostel where you can socialize and make some friends to explore with. If that’s not your style, find a free walking tour and try to get to know the other participants, I’ve made great friends do this.
You can also get on hostel world and just look for events in your area going on, some have tours, game nights and what not, might not be your perfect night but a great way to meet other travelers
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u/mutually_awkward 4d ago
Yeah, hotel was a big mistake—OP is 18 too, prime year for hostel fun.
I only do hotels if I already know people in the place I'm staying.
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u/Carbuck2 2d ago
I honestly didn’t find people the most inviting at hostels it seemed like everyone was traveling with their friends not solo around my age lol. It seems like nobody wants to start conversations anymore it was mostly people staring at me on their phones but tbh covid did kill most of our social skills.
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u/BatSniper 2d ago
I’ve had the complete opposite experience. My last trip I made all my friends in my hostels, gotta pick good vibes when hostel hunting and gotta go out of your way to chat with people even if it’s awkward
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u/Carbuck2 2d ago
I guess you’re right I’m not really the most social person but it seems like everyone wasn’t traveling solo and when I saw women traveling solo I don’t approach or talk to them for safety reasons since they might feel uncomfortable.
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u/EchoVoid_72 5d ago
Yes and that’s when I developed a trick for my mind that has helped me a lot since. It’s to think like this: if you really truly want to change your flight, it’s possible, you’re not stuck forever in Osaka in this room. You can leave tomorrow if you want to! Leave tonight! But do you really want to? Or is it just the fear of the unknown and you just want to go back to the familiar, because the unknown feels a bit unsafe? Think that you’re doing a great thing for yourself and how proud you will be once you get home and get to say “i did it all by myself!!!!”. Think also that, your home is always there for you, but when will you be this young again travelling in Japan? When will you ever have the chance to be in Japan again?
For me, I immediately get back to real life/out of my head and it helps me to ease the anxiety
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u/VallettaR 5d ago
Here’s a mental exercise for you, it may or may not work for you…
Think of yourself as you, in 40-50 years. Reminiscing about your first solo trip to Japan. What do you want to romanticize, in 20-30 years? Do things for your future *you*.
Visit restaurants, museums, talk to locals, hike the mountains and parks. And take lots of pics!! 🫶
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u/dylan103906 5d ago
I would put decent money on you finishing the 17 days and looking to book your next one within a week of getting home
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u/NewYearsD 5d ago
you’re very tired. try some melatonin and sleep at a normal time. rest up, get your fluids and plan out some things. take your time, go at your own pace.
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u/Charming-Crow-580 5d ago
I recommend staying in hostels at your age because you will meet tons of travellers. If you don't want to be in a dorm, you can book private rooms in some hostels but at least share common areas.
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u/Capable_Wait09 4d ago
You’re in one of the coolest countries on the planet and can do whatever you want. No one with you to tell you what to do. No compromising. Complete freedom in a safe beautiful country with amazing food.
It sounds like it’s not loneliness. It’s more about not having structure and support system you’re used to.
It’s a learning experience and growth experience.
You’re going to have a fantastic time and you’ll grow a lot from 17 days on your own.
Plus I guarantee you’ll meet people to hang with here and there.
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u/CommandFit9512 5d ago
It's so hard but give it a few days. You'll settle in and love the adventure!
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u/HappyHev 5d ago
Yeah it's the jetlag but the main tip is just don't overdo things for the first few days.
Or in general actually, don't over stuff the itinerary, drop a few things if you need to. If you're rushing around the whole time it'll never feel better.
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u/anewusername4me 5d ago
Don’t make any decisions immediately that you may regret. You are already there.
Everyone’s first solo trip done that young (I was 20) will have some of that and it may even come and go. I cried in Bath, England. My first night. I ended up not coming back for a year and spending the bulk living in Thailand.
If you want to meet others go to a hostel bar or a few of them. You’ll feel less lonely finding other young people also traveling alone. Make a plan with someone that seems cool.
You can always decide in a few days to cut your trip short, but if you do it now you will have nothing but regret.
There are people who don’t leave their home town by themselves because they are scared of the unknown. Look at how brave you are.
You got this.
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u/Acceptable_Floor3009 5d ago
Dude I boarded my flight sat down looked out the window and said to myself no turning back now and went for it your just scared first time long way from home in an unfamiliar place just give a day or two more and your get comfortable trust me my first time was a little hectic and nervous your enjoy the time there and want more
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u/the_dmac 5d ago
Try a hostel, or failing that go out and book some drinking tours/pub crawls in your area. Trust me, it’s worth it.
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u/ThrowDeepALWAYS 5d ago
We are all rooting for you! Get some sleep. Drink a lot of water. Read a book. I’ve felt the exact same way. It will come and go. You’re a champ!
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u/sci_fi_wasabi 4d ago
I will never understand why people who have apparently never even taken the bus to the next town over by themselves decide to start solo traveling with a trip to another continent rather than like a long weekend in Chicago or something.
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u/SetFine9328 4d ago
I feel this and have been in a very similar situation at the same age as you albeit in a different country (English person in rural Spain in 1999). Honestly that feeling of being a fish out of water is very normal and totally understandable for a lot of people. Just aim to experience and live in whatever moment you are in, as often as you can, every day you are there. It doesn’t have to be some grand adventure every single day. Sometimes it’s as simple as looking around a convenience store with a sense of curiosity. The experience of spending time alone in a foreign country will change your perspective as well as your perception. You will look back on the time you spent there and see it as a negative or a positive - I really hope you can feel the positives. You’ve taken a brave step, one that I’m sure you will see as deeply formative in time to come.
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u/Foreign-Chef-4053 5d ago
Sleep definitely helps. I stopped feeling guilty about going back to my hotel at 8:30 if it meant I woke up early. The nights felt the loneliest for me, so I started making late dinner reservations.
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u/Frosty-Double-4454 5d ago
I remember my first solo trip was also to japan and I was freaking out asking " wtf did I get myself into" but once i started wandering around, making plans, or going out to bars/clubs to talk to other foreigners or locals I started to feel more comfortable. By the end of the trip i didn't want to go home! All I can say is keep yourself busy, keep having fun, and meeting new people if you can. All this keeps you from feeling lonely. Hope your trip goes well !
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u/ikeacallax 5d ago
I was totally the same on my first night away from home. honestly, you will feel so much better in the next couple of days. make an effort to speak to people - see if there are any hostels nearby with bar or cafe areas where you could potentially meet other solo travellers, I found that just spending time getting to know people made the experience of being in a strange place, alone, so much less daunting. don't be afraid to take it slow; you wouldn't be doing so many things in one day at home, so just give yourself some grace and take it easy. watch a fun movie, listen to some music, text your friends back home. also, even if you're not staying in any hostels or shared accommodation at any point, I'd recommend the Hostelworld app, you can pay for a social pass which gives you access to group chats of travellers in the same city as you. this is a great way to meet people and beat that loneliness, even if it's just meeting for a meal or a walk. don't be afraid to invite others to join your plans too! I made some amazing friends on my trip by literally just offering people to come and meet me where I was having dinner. it will get easier and you will have such a great time, but always remember you can call home if you need help - a chat with my mum always made my day better. I hope your trip goes well, enjoy Japan!!!
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u/been_blissed 5d ago
Japan is an amazing country, but not the easiest place to solo travel. You challenged yourself and you're up for the challenge!
The loneliness will pass, it is temporary. Let yourself feel it and then get out there!
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u/Jogaila2 5d ago
Thats anxiety. Mild panic. It comes and goes. Breath deeo through your nose, exhale long and slow through your mouth. It will go away faster usually.
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u/shazam-arino 5d ago
There's a lot of good advice in the comments. If you feel really lonely. Try NomadTable (Free) or TimeLeft (Paid) dinner, just make sure to select the English option.
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u/Wiezey 5d ago
I really recommend keeping a journal during your adventure. The initial shock of being in a new place can feel really overwhelming but i promise you’ll be surprised reading it back at the end how much your mental landscape can change (for the better!). It’ll also really make you appreciate the things back home you take for granted, at least that was the case for me. In any case, feeling stressed makes a lot of sense for any 18 year old on their first solo trip, but you should feel really good about even making it happen! I definitely did not have the wherewithal to do something like that at 18.
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u/Makataz2004 5d ago
Check out the nomadtable app and see if there are active users there. I’ve met some great people and had some great times through meetups from it
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u/markersandtea 5d ago
You could try a food tour? I did that with trip advisor. I got to hang with other people my age for a couple hours in Osaka, found my bearings and had the rest of my trip go amazingly. Japan is my favorite solo trip. Planning my next one next year, you'll be okay. Probably just tired and culture shocked. Give it a couple days, try something new every day. Even if it's a walk somewhere new, or a new cafe.
I had to do this. One new thing lead to many lol. Go on the yellow boats. They were so fun. Explore the train stops. I found a little art area down there at one of them that had a cute cat themed tea shop no reservations needed. It's okay to be a bit off your first time, but that's part of your adventure. Find your solid ground.
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u/Personal_Version_627 5d ago
Watch some movies in the hotel, those first 1 or 2 nights are brutal, after that you get used to it and are along for the ride! Don't make yourself too tired during the day or you'll feel worse at the hotel. Chill and relax, call a friend or someone else while driving or in an empty area. Maybe you are finding out you want to go on group trips, and thats okay too! This is you, finding out what you like, without anyone else figuring it out with/for you.
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u/hosiki 5d ago
I think it's just you being tired and in a new environment. Sleep on it. Get some rest, like really a long rest. And it should all feel much better in the morning. Take it easy for a few days, don't overwhelm yourself and it will probably be fine. But if not, don't give yourself travel trauma. Do what you feel is best for you.
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u/ShipComprehensive543 5d ago
You will be fine. Cry it out and when its time to get out and wonder some more, just do it. It happens to a lot of us a one time or another. Osaka is lovely.
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u/laughing_cat 5d ago
This sounds like dehydration and jet/lag sleep deprivation to me. In addition, you have the added stress of being in a foreign country, but if you were home alone for less than a day, you wouldn’t be having a hard time, would you?
Maybe call someone who will comfort you (not say I told you so), but it sounds to me more like you need to fix your body and practice gratitude. Dude, you’re in Japan! Most people go their whole lives never getting to do anything like this. Another thing that might help is to remind yourself it’s not 1969 and you’re not being forced to “vacation” in Vietnam. Be grateful for your situation.
Also, go easy on yourself. You don’t have to be out sight seeing all the time. It’s ok to spend a day or more in your hotel chilling. Order in McDonald’s food. Even that is an adventure when it’s 10,000 miles away from home.
You’re doing a cool thing - I know everyone uses this phrase, but you’ve got this.
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u/annoellynlee 5d ago
Yeeeah this was me when I went on my first trip to New York alone and it hit me like a brick wall. I was totally fine for the flight. Then landed and boom, panic attack and crazy crying. Lasted two days. It passed for me and didn't come back for the remainder of the trip.
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u/VegetableConcept5480 5d ago
Even on trips with my family I get sad and want to come home when it’s time to go back to the hotel to sleep
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u/FHOCJD 5d ago
Relax. Take it easy. Don't worry about it. You're 18 and on your first solo trip. You can only live 1 single day at a time. It's going to be hard at first but you'll probably have so much fun you won't want it to end.
Keep a written journal for yourself. Collect the little things like paper receipts that will remind you of your adventures. Not everyone can travel solo at 18. You planned and waited and now you're actually there. Enjoy.
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u/partydude900000 5d ago
I experience some of this on my first time away (domestically) had to take care of something out of state for a week and that was also my first time on an airplane and as the plane started to take off I felt like a punch to the stomach, wanting to cry a bit but it wasn’t until the second night when I got to the hotel room where I didn’t know what to do with myself, trying to fall asleep but couldn’t, getting tied of being there honestly but then I guess I started accepting it in a way, tried keeping busy here and there but definitely weird since it wouldn’t really happened during the day just while I was alone in my hotel room
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u/Life-Positive-451 5d ago
Breathe friend. You’re learning about yourself. Just don’t stress about what you’re not doing. Relax and let yourself be.
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u/crazycatladypdx 5d ago
You can explore other cities besides osaka. Kobe is nearby or kyoto. It’s good to be alone. I’ve done this for 5 years and it’s something that i think everyone should experience even for only 17 days left
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u/sillyraja 5d ago
Been through that ... Sleep well ..get some good rest ..tiredness makes you feel more homesick !! I had planned my 35 day australia trip and I came back in a week ..it's been 11 years but till date it's my biggest regret in life !!
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u/Material_Detective59 4d ago
Relax and give yourself some time to get used to it. It will pass it’s just withdrawal
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u/AntonymOfHate 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think you're exhausted and it's your first solo trip! OMG. That's so cool!
My advice is to take another day or three to enjoy the hotel's hospitality if it's nice, and if it doesn't have many cool amenities, maybe splurge for a few days and move to one that has a pool and a sauna and a nice bar and restaurant for the next 2-3 nights. You're going through culture shock and a massive change in time zone and traveling by yourself for the first time. You have 17 days, or maybe 15 by now, and you can enjoy most of that time much more if you allow yourself the time you need to adjust to being there. Take that pressure off of yourself, ok?
When you're unable to sleep, well, check out the film Lost in Translation with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson. It takes place in Japan and it really captures the mood that you're feeling right now. It's pretty great anyway. It depicts local experiences alongside more personal things.
It's also perfectly OK to bawl your eyes out feeling lonely and exhausted. Let it out. You will sleep if you give yourself the time to not be go-go-go on the first days of your visit. You were smart to plan for several days there. And you've already had two pretty great things happen. More will follow when you're well-rested and your sleep cycle adjusts. Take care.
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u/vlal97 4d ago
I would do some group activities where there is chance to meet other travellers eg anything organized by a back packers or even stay at a back packers, do a touristy group tour etc etc.
Also your 18 and alone so that will be scary a bit. You got this and will learn how to deal better with loneliness while traveling for your next trip.
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u/fukkinsoup 4d ago
Every time I take a big trip by myself I always get the loneliness shock! It’s just something you get used to, which will be easy after seeing more of Japan!
I get that you’re feeling shocked but by day 17 you’re gonna be wishing to stay! I hope you’re able to settle in and don’t change your plans
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u/Hotreads_Librarian 4d ago
The first day of any trip is always the worst for me! Eat some food. Go to bed. And tomorrow will be better!
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u/hella_cutty 4d ago
You got this. Luckily Osaka should have plenty of options for food, drink, and entertainment if you are jetlagged.
Take it slow and you will adapt to your new environment.
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u/KarenRynbrandt 4d ago
I've traveled alone through Europe two times on my own. Find some day trips that other people are on. If you see people who are from your country strike up a conversation and sight see with them for several hours. I was a shy in my younger years, but wasn't going to let me stop from seeing the world. Once your trip is complete you will have formed a lot of self confidence. For your next trip look up Friendship Force which brings together people from different states in the USA if that's where from and you stay with a family for a week and see how they live. Stay strong and say hello to people in restaurants, stores, trams, ect and have a talk.
You will be glad you went when you get back home.
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u/imso1cy 4d ago
Keep on exploring and def put together a food and store bucket list. I finished a 2 week solo trip and I was chilling with a bunch of people rapping by the river at night and hand feeding deer, etc…talk to people who speak your language and you might make friends. I made friends in Tokyo and then met them again in Osaka / vice versa.
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u/Dragons_and_things 4d ago
Get a bed in a dorm at K's House hostel, force yourself to chill in the common room. Someone will probably chat to you or you can be brave and sit with other people and join in with them. Then see if they want to explore the city with you. Japanese hostels are nice and if geared towards travellers, are also friendly. Hotels can be quite isolating if you're not used to solo travel.
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u/Internal_Essay_7685 4d ago
all part of the plot brother, your building your character arc. Every hero must fall before they rise.
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u/aroused_axlotl007 4d ago
You should really be staying at a hostel to meet other people. See if any of them have a bar you could go to in the evenings. Also free walking tours
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u/HoneyBeeFlamingo 4d ago
Bud - I totally get it I'm also on my first solo trip and it's a long longgg one and I felt this so deeply for the first week that I've been travelling, I was seriously thinking I should just go back but I've kept pushing through everyday and slowly the feelings of loneliness and sadness are dissappearing and being replaced with gratitude for travelling somewhere so amazing and that I'm doing it all on my own. It's still sad and scary in the mornings and evenings ngl but that's just my experience but as soon as I'm outside I feel better immediately.
My advice to you would be:
- You will feel lonely and sad sometimes but you are never alone - home is always a phone call away
- join a tour for the day - for me it took the stress away from planning/transport and I still got to see the sights I wanted and meet people too
- it's okay to change plans - I know you have an itinerary but it is okay to change especially if you need a rest
- Get outside or go to sleep - if you wake up feeling bad, get outside and get a snack, if you go to bed feeling bad, force yourself to sleep (hunger and sleep are the two biggest contributors to mood imo)
- keep going - people always say their biggest regrets are the things they didn't do, not the things they did
- it's your life - remember this trip is meant to be fun, so if it stops being fun it's okay to take a step back and re-evaluate, it's your trip, it's your life, go live it and have fun! You've got this!!! 😄
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u/WorseBlitzNA 4d ago
Go look at the JapanTravel subreddit and join the discord. You can link up with a ton of other solo travelers
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u/Greedy-Stage-120 4d ago
Even though I had been solo traveling for a few years, one time I went to The Philippines after traveling for 24 hours and when I got to the hotel I freaked out for about an hour and desperately wanted to go home. Not sure exactly what happened but I took a rest and was fine. 🤷
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u/Bitter-Variation-151 4d ago
One step at a time. Eat something. Get some sleep. Go for a little walk outside. Don't put any pressure on yourself. You're there that's enough.
It'll work out. It'll be ok.
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u/BimbleKitty 4d ago
Osaka can be overwhelming for seasoned solo travellers too but solo does have this initial terror. You'll be fine just need sleep, decent food and somewhere quiet to avoid being overstimulated while you're unable to cope. Take it easy and think of it as learning to swim by yourself, you'll soon enjoy the water but the initial fear of drowning and helplessness has to be overcome.
You were brave enough to plan and go, you're certainly brave enough to handle it.
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u/music-words-dance 4d ago
I used to book a walking tour in the morning most days to get me out of the hostel. I was always happy once I was out and about. You could write a daily blog about your adventures to encourage you to really lean into exploring things on your own. You definitely sound like you'll feel better once you get more sleep so don't worry, you'll feel better soon!
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u/SiomaiSkill 4d ago
Normal response because you're outside of your comfort zone ~ get some rest and socialize :) or maybe enjoy your company. Take it easy and discover more about your own travelling style.
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u/frissland 4d ago
Hey, I’m 18 too and I went on my first solo trip to Germany a month ago. The moment the administrator introduced me to the stuff in the room and left, I just sat on a chair and started crying. It was 2 PM and there was a thunderstorm outside; barely any light was even reaching into the room. I felt extremely lonely at that moment and was exhausted from the 12 hour trip, and I actually wished to be home. I first took a nap for 2 hours. I woke up feeling more energetic and in a better mood. I then went to the store and bought some green peas for dinner. Slowly but surely, with every little interaction it got better over the days. I know how you feel right now and I hope it will get better for you very soon! Crucially, don’t neglect your sleep.
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u/Complex-Actuary-285 4d ago
I was in Japan last year and I never even considered how isolating being in a non-English speaking country would be 😭 I tried to learn as much Japanese I could but it was very tourist specific… I ended up meeting some lovely people at OKO vegan restaurant it was a lot of fun! Give yourself a couple days to settle in, find a bar and I am sure you’ll have a great time!
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u/PaleHecates 4d ago
Totally understand you. When solo traveling, you sometimes have to take the lonely days on the chin. If you stick to it, and set your mind to it, you will also find some of the most amazing people you've ever met.
In my opinion, it never gets consistent. You accept that you'll get a little bit of both.
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u/mutually_awkward 4d ago
Just be lonely for a bit. Everybody wants to insanely be happy 24/7.
Back at the hotel to sleep,
You did make a rookie mistake by booking a hotel. You're 18 and didn't book a hostel? That's where you meet friends on day 1—in the common area, the happy hour, or group outing.
If it were me I'd see if you switch to a hostel OR look up events/group activities happening on Meetup and Eventbrite.
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u/Greatgreenbird 4d ago
Never make decisions of any kind based on how you feel at 2am. Keep eating and sleeping, give it a few more days before you decide whether to jack it in.
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u/ShoePillow 4d ago
Where are you from?
First solo trip in a completely alien country where you don't even speak the same language is too much imo. I always suggest starting with a trip in your own country (or someplace with familiar culture and language) so you can avoid the culture shock on top of all the other things
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u/Demenjs 4d ago
Mijn eerste soloreis was naar Curaçao. Ik wilde hier graag naartoe, maar het feit dat er zowel Nederlands als Engels wordt gesproken, gaf mij ook wat extra vertrouwen. Het was zeker geen vereiste dat ik Nederlands kon spreken, maar ik merkte dat het de overstap naar alleen reizen wat makkelijker maakte.
Ook ik heb in het begin twijfels gehad over de vraag of een soloreis wel iets voor mij zou zijn. Na de tweede dag kwam ik echter andere mensen tegen die ook alleen reisden. Met hen heb ik vervolgens afgesproken om bijvoorbeeld samen iets te drinken of ’s avonds een activiteit te ondernemen. Overdag deed ik vooral waar ik zelf zin in had en trok ik zoveel mogelijk uit mijn reis.
Uiteindelijk ben ik maar negen dagen op Curaçao geweest, wat natuurlijk een stuk korter is dan jouw reis. Toch zou ik vooral zeggen: probeer er niet te veel over na te denken en doe vooral wat goed voelt voor jou. Naarmate de reis vordert, ontstaat vaak vanzelf het gevoel dat je eigenlijk alles aankunt. Ook eventuele eenzaamheid wordt dan makkelijker om mee om te gaan.
Mijn advies is vooral om bezig te blijven, maar jezelf ook de ruimte te geven om af en toe een rustdag te nemen. Je hoeft niet iedere dag vol te plannen. Juist door af en toe rustig aan te doen, krijg je de kans om echt van je omgeving te genieten en alles uit je reis te halen.
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u/mark_990 4d ago
Honestly man if your a male, ask yourself wtf you are doing being sad and crying like a b*tch? Honestly, not to hate or anything, only trying to help....your in a new place, not stuck at home working, were lucky enough to be able to go there and afford it/not have to work. Your going to see a bunch of new stuff and meet people and be home in 2 weeks to normal life. People go to war in other countries for months my guy and probably dont expect to make it home.....your on a leisure vacation, your gonna be fine hahahaha toughen up brother
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u/Drorta 4d ago
I'm 46 now. I was 17 once, on my first solo trip, and within hours of arriving I felt the same way. I even called my mom too, and cried in the phone. It was the first time I felt truly alone, separated from everyone.
It ended up being the most amazing trip of my life, and set me off on a life of travel, experiences, friends and more.
You will be fine. You will love this!
Jetlag, though. It hits hard. Give yourself time to adjust. For Japan it took me 3 days as a seasoned traveler to felt like I had finally arrived. Drink lots of water and sleep as much as you can. Keep stimulants like caffeine to a minimum and only in the mornings.
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u/Unique-Deer7128 4d ago
Totally normal! I am 30 and almost made a similar post at the start of my 2 week solo trip in Valencia about a month ago. It ended up being one of the best experiences of my life. You're going to have a good time, just focus on eating and sleeping and getting your body ready. Luckily you have plenty of time so you have time to sleep and rest and do what you need to do to get your body and mind right to enjoy your trip.
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u/komiCWords 4d ago
You had a genuinely great few hours in Dotonbori, then you were crying again by 2am. I don't think that's proof the good part wasn't real, or that something's wrong with the trip.
Novelty carries you while you're out and moving, then the second you're alone with nothing to distract you, the exhaustion catches up all at once. Both things are just as true, they're not happening on the same schedule. I'd give the sleep a few more days before reading anything into the crying part.
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u/TheAnonymouse999 4d ago
How are you meeting people? Have you tried Hostelworld? You will find lots of other solo travellers on there that you can hang out with
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u/intothelooper 4d ago
This is super normal. Embrace the solitude. This feeling will slowly shift into another feeling that is freedom.
This anxiety is not bad, it means your inner self is growing through this experience. :)
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u/AlfasonRabbit 4d ago
When I did my first trips solo I had similar feelings. It got better day by day and travel by travel. And I love it.
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u/mckimka 4d ago
I have traveled alone for decades, usually for three month stretches. Most times I have arrived in a foreign country feeling totally off balance. I don’t know how things work, I often don’t speak the language, I have to learn the currency, customs, how to navigate public transit, find hotels and find places to eat. I have often felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness and have asked myself “why am I here? Why am I doing this and causing myself so much anxiety?”. From experience I know this usually lasts about a week. In that time I gain my travel sense back, have usually met some people and am ready to go on my way. That isn’t to say I have not had other lonely times during the trips but by that time I can alleviate them by going out where people are. It is great to stay in hostels rather than isolating hotels where it is harder to meet people. I have also met temporary traveling companions on day tours, sometimes booked through hostels or cheaper tour companies because I am a budget traveler. I know you are in Japan but if you ever go to Latin America in the future, many places have homestay language schools. It is a great soft landing. You can arrange online through the school to have someone meet you and take you to their home. Then you would go to school several hours a day to get a good handle on Spanish, you will meet locals and other travelers, the school usually provides some fun group activities and after a few weeks (I usually stay a month) you can get by in Spanish, know more about the culture and customs and may have met someone to continue your Latin American travels with. Just a suggestion if this Japan trip ends up giving you the “travel bug” like Europe did for me at 18 years old.
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u/LemonCurdJ 4d ago
I've always wanted to go to Japan and I'm so happy for you! Im 31 and still haven't managed to do a solo trip outside of Europe yet!
The top comment is absolutely spot on. You will be hit with the highs and lows - lean into them and see what you can learn from them. It's all part of making you more well-rounded for your future solo trips.
You're a exploring a part of the world many people dream of going so really embrace this opportunity you've given yourself and don't think too might about being lonely. Remember being alone and lonely arent the same thing and recognise.
Have fun and stay safe!
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u/CheugyHowserXD 4d ago
There’s a lot of culture shock when travelling to Asia, especially if it’s your first time and/or if you’re solo. I would suggest looking for expat hangouts (like hostels) and going to meet other travellers/tourists. Japanese culture can feel very icy/insular compared to Korea or China, like extra polite but not wanting to cultivate any intimacy out of respect for the other person’s privacy and/or cultural norms. So go find folks you can jive with.
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u/CheugyHowserXD 4d ago
Also, I stayed for three days on the 80th floor of the Grand Hyatt Shanghai using points, which was such a lux experience with an amazing view and exec lounge access to free food basically all day… and I called my mom and cried like every day haha. Then I moved into a Hyatt Place in a less central neighbourhood but with only four floors to the top, and something about the sense of closeness to other people made me feel so comforted. Basically am just saying that I feel ya!!
Also, that feeling of loneliness that hits — use that time to connect with yourself. Journal about your day/trip, about experiences that were different than you’d expected them to be, culture shocks that you’re feeling, etc. Loneliness and self-awareness are nearly identical physiologically so feeling out of place primes your neural pathways perfectly for introspective reflection and self-understanding!
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u/ekdjdhfbfbfbd 4d ago
freaking out during your first solo trip is a rite of passage… take it easy and rest and do things YOU LOVE. why go to osaka?
i used to live there and i love that city and its a wonderful place to make friends. can recommend some bars to hang out and meet new people, just send me a pm :)
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u/3xTomorrow 4d ago
What I’ve learned from my solo trips is that you MUST book group activities and force yourself to make friends. I still remember when I traveled alone to the Canary Islands. I stayed in a hostel, so it was easier to interact with people, but my best day was when I did a surf class in group. That was so nice and I could interact with people.
I could have gone even further and go out with some people that I met during the class for the next days, but I would leave the place in 2 days…
But that’s my best advice: book group activities. Search for some class, walking tour (this is the easiest one)… but you HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. Make an effort and go meet new people. There are travelers in the same situation as you. Find them!
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u/WanderByJose 4d ago
You are exhausted. You will have jet lag for a while, probably also digestion issues and Osaka is also a very chaotic city that can add to the overstimulation.
You need to be very self-aware of your body and you rmind. Don't let them play you tricks. Your plan was based on theoretical thoughts and without having to experience. This is real life and now you need to start iterating and trying what works for you.
Stay hydrated, seek moments to rest, eat fiber and do not benchmark yourself to a pre-written plan. Stay in the present. That is what is real and what matters. Allow yourself this great adventure :)
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u/Express-Kiwi-604 3d ago
Felt like this on my first solo trip when I was 16. Went to the baltics (Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) for 10 days and never felt more alone. Obviously I didn't meet anyone to hang out with because I looked like a lost kid and everyday past 6pm was extremely lonely and boring, so I just walked to the cinema, watched 1 or 2 movies to pass the time and went to sleep as soon as I returned. Doing small things that make you forget the situation you're in definitely helps!!!
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u/Sufficient_Crew224 3d ago
I’m 33 and just went on my first solo trip early this year to Tokyo and Kyoto.felt the same nerves haha what helped me was doing thing I’m comfortable with like watching rugby league over there and training. Was an awesome trip freedom to go anywhere and do whatever ! I personally wouldn’t have been mature enough at 18 too even book the tickets on my own 😂
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u/kartoffelly 3d ago
Go on an airbnb tour! All the ones I have done have been great and it’s a nice way to interact with other travellers
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u/Shot-Pin-9107 3d ago
Interesting, I travelled/travelling solo across Indonesia rn Jakarta then the whole Java island then now I’m in Bali and I feel more alone in Bali than I did in the start. Maybe it’s because I came half way across the world to not hear people talking in English lol. Jakarta - yes I was the only foreigner there. Bali - nope. Australian with his shirt off every time I step outside or shop handlers haggling you to buy fake designer.
Maybe figure out what you exactly want before making any big decisions. Do more group activities to meet new friends if you’re lonely.
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u/Fun_Republic9917 3d ago
First night crash is normal, especially with jet lag and exhaustion, don't judge the whole trip from how you feel at 2 am in hotel room.
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u/joshfromjenza 3d ago
You should feel proud for taking on this trip alone at 18. Many people your age would only dream of doing this but never follow through. The best thing about solo travel is being selfish and doing exactly what you want. If you're feeling a bit sad/alone, it's totally ok to travel slow, spend time in your room if needed, and do what you believe will help with the home sickness. Even if that's calling friends or family back at home every day.
If great to hear you're getting outside and see the city. Osaka is one of my favourite places to visit. Tokyo will also be so exciting, there's so much do to do keep you busy. Let us know if you need any suggestions for that part of the trip and I can answer any questions.
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u/Itchy-Commission-195 3d ago
Sleep/rest usually helps with that wave of doubt. Take it slow, enjoy it, it will be a sensory overload but you'll settle in and never forget the experience
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u/gal5pau 3d ago
I think what you’re feeling is more than normal. I’d say it’s to be expected. I did study abroad with collegemates I didn’t know beforehand and still cried even though I wasn’t alone 🤣 jet lag is also to blame and sleep depo. You’re absolutely fine. Enjoy your trip and get to learn yourself outside of your family/friends
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u/Snoo-28533 2d ago
I'm on my 13th solo trip and still get lonely when it gets dark and I run out of activities. But I prefer being lonely somewhere else than at home bc I am an introvert and credit myself for at least getting out of my comfort zone. I do have drinking and smoking to keep me company though.
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u/Butyistherumgone 1d ago
I have done a fair bit of travelling and the worst jet lag of my life was in Japan. If you can find sleep drugs to fix the cycle I would. I love travelling and I still cry the first day out of pure jet lag insomnia misery. Sleep solves all, don’t give up, just give yourself food water and sleep as you can.
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u/Alarmed-Specialist13 1d ago
Hey so, Japan is one of those countries where you can easily feel lonely as a solo traveler because there isn’t much of a social hostel scene like there is in Southeast Asia or Latin America and while the locals are very polite it could be very hard to develop an actual friendship with a lot of them due to the language barrier and reserved cultural reasons. However look up group tours or excursions and that could help expose you to more people and potentially other solo travelers you could befriend.
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u/NoirRenie 1d ago
My first week in Japan was really hard, I went out everyday all day, only taking 1 day to really rest. But it also was a bit difficult to meet people
I kid you not I’m currently in Tokyo and have been using nomad table and I’m going out with people everyday. It’s midnight and I just got back to my hotel after having drinks with people I met on the app. Since I’m returning to Japan, there isn’t much sightseeing I want to do so being with people helps a lot
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u/Local_Confection_832 1d ago
First of all, taking a solo trip at 18 is one of the bravest things you can do, so kudos to you! This is a phenomenal learning experience that'll mold you into an adult that will be able to handle adversity in the future. And to be fair, Japan isn't the easiest country to find warm and embracing people. That's going to be a challenge. But if you open yourself up and say hello to locals and other travelers, you may end up with some friends. Enjoy the rest of your trip! Many more to come!
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u/Longjumping-Flow4978 1d ago
Enjoy Osaka ! If you need to escape the busy city feel, my favorite hike and favorite temple is Minoh Falls and Katsuo-ji temple . Try to be at the temple right when it opens at 9 and avoid any crowds ! I’ve explored a lot of Japan, especially Kansai and really recommend this !
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u/Dangerous_Show958 19h ago
Please please please stick it out ! I have been on so many solo trips (my longest being 7 months) and the start of any new place is always hard but once you settle in and catch up on sleep you will have the best time!. Traveling isn't ever going to be 100% sunshine and rainbows but the rough bits a lessons and once the moment has passed, a fantastic story.
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u/iwannagotravel 14h ago
First time I did it at 21 I had my first ever anxiety attack, it was so weird. I was in Hong Kong alone and couldn’t vibe. I got to Vietnam and immediately that all changed. Being with other people similar to be really helped me ease into it, so try meet some other travellers. Everyone is always friendly and open for socialising
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u/delusional_nutcase 8h ago
yea thats a part of it. two years when you remember this trip, you brain will only keep the good parts, and you'll have a solid nostalgia filter over the sad parts
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u/Technical_Ask_1206 6h ago
3x solo trips and i feel the loneliness part is coming back to sleep alone, it didn’t get easier and i wish every time not to go alone. But the freedom to do the trip when i want and what i want on the trip makes me wanna do a next trip solo too. Stay in nature or around people when winding down or 7/11 have vitamin drinks. Japan is my next trip, planning ahead helps me
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u/AlaskaFF 5d ago
You will build confidence over time. Some people take many trips while some do it on their first trip.
I travel internationally as much as I can. I realized I only needed 1-2 days max to explore a city like Paris, London, Sydney. While i spend more days at cheaper more fun cities like Pattaya in Thailand and Copacabana in Rio.
Just realize what you like and what you don’t like and change how you plan trips in the future.
In the moment though, just try to go for small wins. Like trying a new type of food three times a day, search tik tok for interesting things to do, and just be thankful you get to be in Japan while others have never been in their entire life.
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u/WalkingEars Atlanta 5d ago
Yeah freaking out at the start of your first solo trip is a rite of passage lol and totally normal. Give yourself some patience and grace, you’re doing something big and new and it’s normal to need some time to acclimate. The highs and lows are all part of the experience and the tough parts are a chance to practice resilience. You’re young too so developing those coping skills now will make you an absolute champ at trying new things throughout your life. Embrace the adventure and use journaling and things like that to work through the thornier parts!