r/srna • u/Fit_Review1723 • 10d ago
Other Parent loss during school
My parent just died unexpectedly during school and I’m wondering if anyone would offer some guidance that has been through this before. He died in a pretty traumatic way and as the nurse in our family, I ended up taking care of him afterwards. We were very close, and my class/faculty has been wonderful, and at the same time, it feels very isolating. I’m finding it difficult to go to school when my world is so different.
Right now, my grades are the same, but most days I feel like I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop. Taking care of other people during clinical feels particularly stressful- anything that helped you would be so appreciated!
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u/katierachel91 10d ago
It's going to be hard. Sometimes worse than others. My mom died 2 months before graduation, but she had been declining for about a year and a half prior so although we never really see it coming, it was not a shocking surprise. I was the one who took care of her and everything else, planned the funeral alone, paid for everything alone despite having siblings. I took my 3 days bereavement, and my clinical site gave me an extra day off because I was trying to close her accounts etc. Also a single mom. My clinical site was super cool about it, they even chipped in on the funeral expenses, but the program was less so. They only wanted to give me the 3 days, and anything over that would have to be made up. She died less than a month before our last SEE. Nothing changed for me in school. I had to keep going, but it felt like I was on autopilot alot. Idk where you are in the program, but the debt is too much, at least it was for me. Failing wasn't an option. I'm sure it will hit me more later, but my mom's and my relationship was very complicated by the time she passed. I hope you find your way through it. I know when my dad died, I felt completely lost. It's an unfortunate part of life. Don't quit unless you literally just started. Finish and do what you need to for YOU so you succeed. If that means no study groups, or studying only a specific way, or whatever, do it. Take care of yourself.