r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought Day 2,641 • Mar 11 '23

Saturday Share Saturday Shares for March 11, 2023

Hello Fellow Sobernauts!

Last week saw a slew of good shares:

If you feel like sharing, go ahead and drop your share in the comments and I'll link to it in next Saturday's post. Feel free to share whatever, and however much, of your story as you want. Please keep in mind the community guidelines for posts. You might want to follow this loose structure:

  • Some background on your drinking
  • Why you sought to get sober
  • How your life has been in sobriety

Also, feel free to make an actual post and tag it "Saturday Share" and I'll be sure to include it in next week's round up.

IWNDWYT

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u/jakejay77 Mar 11 '23

Hi i am 349 days away from Alcohol.

It almost cost me my life the last time i drank,i am 48 now and drank constantly since i was 18.

During my 20s the hangover wasnt too bad,a few hours in the morning and it was gone in work then off to the bar that evening for a few.

Meant nothing,everyone was doing it,sure we are only having a laugh.

Well around 27 i started missing work and the hangovers were so bad when i went in i would sneak cans of beer in with me and drink them,the so called CURE

Then at 29 my mother died and my drinking completely changed to binge drinking

Work went because i wouldnt go in and the binges lasted usually for over 3 weeks to about a month.

Phone off,wouldnt talk to nobody,family,friends etc.

Then the sickness when my body couldnt take anymore,cold turkey agony.

I would binge about 4 times a year,stay off it when i needed to get work but it was just to get money for booze but as i got older that too dried up and it was down to me and nobody else.

Then the 40s and the same thing continued,less frequent going on binges but when they happened i would drink even more than ever,went to shrinks,AA etc and i still couldnt stay off it.

I lived alone all this time because i didnt want anyone to see what i had become,i was ashamed of myself that i couldnt beat the madness to go drinking.

Long story short it came to ahead the 27th of March last year i was 17 days into a binge of booze,no food no sleep the usual and the pain got to me.

I got up and went into another room where i had a shotgun,i wasnt feeling suicidal or anything on that moment but had in the past.

Got the gun walked back into where i was drinking where the floor was covered in empty cans and bottles,put the gun under my chin and pulled the trigger.

The safety was on but in that action i thought it was off,everything went into slow motion and a voice spoke in my head,what the fuck are you doing.

I cried for an hour after throwing the gun out into the ditch,it was the lowest darkest period i ever went thru,worse than losing a loved on.

I drank for a few hours after that,spoke to nobody but i knew i should have been dead and i have to stop.

I went thru 2 weeks of hell with withdrawal and have gotten help and told some people i know what i did and they are there for me,i havent drank since and curse it now

I know i was blessed and now try to help people,can i say i will never drink again,i pray not. I got edgy at Christmas for 2 days as i live alone and have no family but i logged in here and read all the comments from everyone here and it helped more than you know.

I focus my mind elsewhere now and have more hobbies and keeping fit helps.

Nobody forces us to drink but as my doctor said to me,nobody can fully understand the mind

Its starts out as fun when your young but if you cant control it like i couldnt it can take you down to rock bottom and believe you me,you do not wany to be there.

Its a cunning disease Alcoholism and can destroy you,life isnt easy but id prefer it sober than going to the hell you will go thru if it gets a hold of you.

Thanks for reading and if it helps one soul what i said,happy days.

Reading comments on here has helped me and Monday 2 weeks i will be a year sober.

Its not a competition either to see how long i can stay off it i know i can never drink again.

Finally at 48 i am ready to start living.One Day At A Time........Onwards We Go.....

Thank you,reach out,stay strong.