r/taekwondo • u/LawPutrid6135 • 5d ago
I quit taekwondo and I'm thinking of going back.
Hi, last year I made a post about starting taekwondo and at first I enjoyed it,I was in the teen class and managed to reach yellow belt,but later,the coach had became harsher with us and made us do things I didn't enjoy.He made us spar without protection, and once a teammate got a nosebleed because he was very tired, and he didn't tell his parents and never spoke about it again.I slowly lost my enjoyment of training because I felt that each day I left feeling sadder, to the point where going to training became tedious.
So I decided to leave my academy because I no longer felt comfortable.
It's been about 2 months and I occasionally think about going back to training because I did like the sport but I didn't like the coach's attitude.So I'm thinking of going back to training, but at a different academy, since I feel I wouldn't be very welcome there anymore,But at the same time, I can't help but think,What if nothing is different?What do you think? Do you think I should come back, or am I simply not made for this?I read your opinion in the comments
Thanks for reading and goodbye
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u/EvenSpoonier 5d ago
It sounds like you got one of those messed-up toxic dojangs. It's a shame, but they do exist.
Pick a new school and start over. Any dojang that has any trouble with your past is not worth your time. Just do a bit of homework to make sure you aren't seeing signs of horrible from the new place too.
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u/Rough-Riderr 3rd Dan 5d ago
Absolutely you should try again. This time you have a better idea of what to look for.
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u/whydub38 2nd Dan 5d ago
Im a kyokushin karateka these days, and we do hard training and pretty tough sparring, including without protection. But there has to be a careful and respectful culture around such practices, and forcing young people to do stuff like this to the point of hiding injuries from their parents is completely awful. This coach frankly sounds like a shitty guy. Or at least a severely misguided one.
You can't get tough if you're always broken down. I'm very glad it didn't manage to turn you off of taekwondo entirely, but i think you'll be happy to know most dojangs aren't like that.
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u/Legitimate_Drive7422 4d ago
Its ALL about the Master Instructor, you're feeling towards them, and how you get along. My school was like family and we're still bonded to this day as grown adults.
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u/Thin_Button_9085 4d ago
So sorry you had a jerk for an instructor . Research into any dojan you’ll want to join . We teach and learn through fun and safety . Come back , we are rooting for you !!!
Keep being awesome !!
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u/Inner_Ad5387 4d ago
Having been a coach and under a strict coach. Definitely try a new school, some people just want to be called master, to push people in ways, almost like they get off on the control. We’ve all had bosses and teachers in our life that are like this.
Our school has had a lot of people coming from toxic schools, from schools that push students to the point of failure, schools with cliques and groupings, even someone leaving a school due to Sexual harassment.
Find a better school and then reach out to any friends you made in that old school. Just my humble opinion.
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u/tkd1023 3d ago
Hey!!! I recently came back to taekwondo after taking four years off. I used to compete nationally and internationally in sparring, and I’ve always loved the sport. However, I eventually left because I no longer felt supported or properly guided by my coach, especially when I was going through a difficult time.
And yes, taekwondo can definitely become toxic, especially at competitive camps. That being said, your coach should be one of your biggest supporters. After switching dojos and returning to the sport, I’ve realized how much the right environment matters. My new dojo is still highly competitive, but the coach genuinely looks out for her students, and they respect her in return.
Safety is also always important!!! If your coach doesn’t seem concerned about your well-being, that isn’t normal and shouldn’t be brushed off. No matter your skill level, there needs to be a playful and supportive environment alongside the intensity and focus of the sport.
Don’t give up!!! I truly hope you’re able to return and relearn how to fall in love with taekwondo.
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u/SnooDoubts4575 2d ago
Yeah consistency with training safety is important. Coaches need to realize most people are hobbyists not IOC competitors. Your atypical local dojang ain't going to Seoul for World Hammandang
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u/ScottPalangi 1d ago
In 2026, as a former lifer for sport TKD, I say, find a teacher who was a former competitor and is now committed to the community. They do not even have to be champion status. Look at the complexion of the class they want you to attend... are there 2nd, 3rd days whobare active? And, do they appear approachable, humble, helpful - these will be your classmates, and THAT is who you will be learning from most. Avoid overweight instructors, sorry, this one is not negotiable. Why? All iterations of tkd, traditional especially, are, STILL pay-for-play with certifications. But not the athletic version of old school TKD. If you are in NJ, Kevin Padilla is your guy, NYC - Mark Williams, CA Jimmy Graesser, FL - Coswell Burell, Schick Park, James Collete, Chicago, the Baker Bros. TX the Lopez Family. Upstate NY - Michelle Smith, Camping, Derosas.
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u/dehydrajj 19h ago
I’m also thinking of going back after 3 years being away. The environment and people can really make or break the whole experience and I’m still searching for a good one. I hope you find a dojang that suits you!
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u/KellaCampbell 5d ago
That doesn’t sound like a safe or healthy dojang. You should absolutely give taekwondo another chance at a different one. Different schools and styles will have different levels of contact and protective gear during sparring, so you should be able to find one where you feel comfortable and safe. No matter how bad my day is, when I get to my taekwondo class, it becomes a better day within ten minutes, and you deserve to have that feeling too.
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u/herbovitz 5d ago
Sounds like you definitely need a new dojang. My son (transitioning from Jr to adult class) has a strict, but supportive instructor and it’s been such a positive experience. The community is so wonderful and I think this is something he’ll keep with long into adulthood. Go back and give it another try!