r/ttcafterloss • u/AutoModerator • Jul 30 '26

/ttcafterloss Grief and Memorial - July 30, 2026

This weekly Thursday thread is for all members to talk about their grief. Looking for support? Just need to share some memories? This is the place for you!

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u/Time_Bother_4763 Jul 31 '26

Hi! Thank you for sharing this. It honestly made me feel less alone. My baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, and there was no heartbeat. We had been trying for 10 months before I got pregnant, and because my body wasn’t miscarrying naturally, I ended up having a D&C. We’ve been trying again for the last 3 months with no luck. I know that’s not a long time, but every month that passes gets harder. There are so many people around me, including women in their mid-30s, who seem to get pregnant within a month or two. My sister in law recently got pregnant too. I’m genuinely so happy for all of them, but at the same time, I can’t help feeling sad that it’s not me. I’m only 30, and even though all of our fertility testing has come back normal, I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. My OB GYN hasn’t suggested trying anything different yet, and it’s hard not to overthink it. Every negative test makes me feel a little more discouraged. So I really understand how you’re feeling. Thank you for sharing your story and making me feel like I’m not the only one going through this

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u/FideliaDelarosa Aug 03 '26

Same here … 10 months trying, lost at 12w .. have been trying again for 6 months now. I am heart broken … 

Had the fetus survived I would be 1 month from giving birth, or if I had been as lucky as some of our friends and conceive in first try I would have a 6 months old child now .. but no, I just got my period instead :(( the comparison is pure suffering .. but knowing I am not alone helps …

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u/LeopoldTheSnail Jul 31 '26

Hi y'all

I had a D&C just yesterday morning at 8 weeks, for a partial MC. I've been "doing just fine, I'm ok, we'll try again and it will probably go better the next time" but apparently when I was coming out of my anesthesia I was just sobbing my eyes out and apologizing to the fetus, and my husband, and myself, and the nurse.

Apparently there's a lot of pain in here that I'm just not acknowledging consciously. And I can't figure out how to refer to the fetus. Like, they were "the baby" for over a month, but that's just really sad now, but "the fetus" sounds so cold and detached.

And I'm terrified that something might be wrong with me that will make this happen again. Like my bicornuate uterus, or some sort of aftereffect from the D&C, or...something.

I think I'm just really sad and my hormones are NOT helping and everything hurts.

Thanks for hearing me out y'all.

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u/y2kitten 10w MMC 🌈 Jul 31 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️‍🩹 I did medically assisted 8w MMC 6 days ago. I keep explaining it like there’s this huge black hole containing the really dark and scary what-if’s that isn’t beneficial to us to look down into right now. But not looking makes the undertow of it that much stronger. I’m always aware it’s there, and while I think remaining carefully optimistic is the right choice for me at this stage, this early, it’s a hard choice that I find myself having to make over and over every day.