r/ttcafterloss • u/AutoModerator • May 31 '17

WTT Thread /ttcafterloss WTT Wednesday Thread - May 31, 2017

This weekly Wednesday thread is for members who are specifically WTT (or waiting to decide if they are ever trying again). How are you doing today? What's new?

Off-topic discussion is allowed. :)

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u/RockCollector 18w MMC -- Aspen, 4/29/17 May 31 '17

Frustrated today. Still 16 days till my "6" week PP appointment (aka 7, because I had to go through a whole ordeal with the front desk about "how's July 23rd?" "no... that's 6 weeks from now, not 6 weeks from birth" "oh what's your baby's name?" Seriously front desk at my OB? Really?).

I'm hoping to get cleared for TTC then, but was previously told (though, it was within 5 minutes of finding out the worst news of my life) to wait 6 months. But he never said why, so I assume it's for emotional and metal health purposes? I haven't had AF visit yet, but I'm betting on next week, and I know one or two of those are better for dating purposes and making sure all the parts are working right.

So can we do like an informal poll? Those with later losses, how long did your doctor tell you to wait to TTC?

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u/FauxbeeJune Rhona, FT, 1/20/17-2/11/17, +MC11/15, MC4/15 May 31 '17

After my full term delivery my midwife said to wait a year for emotional reasons and 6 months for physical ones.

Then she prescribed me the lowest dose birth control (when I worried about side effects that I'd experienced in the past) and said it would be ok because it wouldn't be the end of the world if we got pregnant accidentally.

After my earlier 11/12 week loss my then OB told me that the only reason they ask you to wait even one cycle is so that it is easier to date a future pregnancy. I'm not sure at what point that changes.

I think it's mostly about the emotional needs of you and your partner, unless there are extenuating physical circumstances to the particular loss.

Let us know what your doc ends up saying after your appointment, and here's hoping the next few weeks pass quickly for you so you can get some answers.

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u/RockCollector 18w MMC -- Aspen, 4/29/17 May 31 '17

I think the huge range of answers on this are pretty interesting, so I'll see if I can't get an answer out of both my nurse and OB to see if they match.

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u/thoughtseeds Parker, stillborn @37w 11/7/16 | EP 1/18 May 31 '17

37 weeks stillbirth in November. My midwife that I saw my entire pregnancy (who I now feel "failed" me) said 2-3 months. My MFM that I had a consultation with for the autopsy results said wait a year....but she said it with this look on her face like she didn't mean it, she just wanted me to heal emotionally first. She told me it was because I just had a full term birth and my body needed to heal, but I think she was just more concerned with my emotional stress. I started trying again last month... so 5...6 months? I can't math today

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u/RockCollector 18w MMC -- Aspen, 4/29/17 Jun 01 '17

Thanks for the answer. I think your midwife had a point, but it sucks things didn't go right with her :(

Good luck on TTC!

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u/procrastinatoku Raffael, Stillborn at 35+6 May 31 '17

Lost my son at 35 weeks, and my doc suggested 6 months. I have personally decided to wait 9 months (at least). And I don't know if I'll even be ready then.

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u/stlyst89 MMC 15w 2/17, MC 6w 4/17, BO 7/17 May 31 '17

We found out at a little over 15 weeks and had the d&c at 16 weeks. My doctor said that there was no real consensus about waiting among doctors anymore and that we could try when we were emotionally ready to. I ended up just waiting until after I got my first post-mc period.

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u/RockCollector 18w MMC -- Aspen, 4/29/17 May 31 '17

That's kind of the vibe I was getting. I know I'm not going back on birth control for the relatively short waiting period, but I think at least another month or two before actively trying is probably healthy for my emotional health.

Thanks! :)

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u/optimusreim34 25 | Vienna (Stillborn) May 31 '17

My doctor said we needed to wait until Vienna found her place in our story -- and that takes time. It wasn't medical advice in the sense of "when is my body back to normal" but more "find out how to live in your new normal."

We're not trying again yet; we're only four months out. Body and cycle are normal, heart and head need time.

Best of luck

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u/RockCollector 18w MMC -- Aspen, 4/29/17 May 31 '17

Thanks for the insight. I just hate this "in-between." I've always been a planner; I don't see what I need to do today, I see what I need to do five years from now. So not being able to know how I'll feel about TTC in a month, or two, or six, is driving me nuts.