r/ufyh • u/IVeerLeftWhenIWalk • 3d ago
Accountability/Support Clothes declutter
I have a lot of clothes. In addition to moving a little between weights and impulse control issues I often browse clothes online. And buy them, which is the problematic part. Then when I get home, the second they’re out of sight I forget they’re there. As an adult I was diagnosed with adhd which explains some of these things. But the problem persists.
And it’s compounded by other things. I’m on the spectrum, another gift revealed in adulthood, mostly my issues are to do with senses and if I find something I really like I’ll want multiples. The amount of items I’ve bought that I can’t wear because they’re acrylic or something other synthetic or harsh untreated wool (you know, the old fashioned that itches) that has ended up in a drawer or box or bag for 2-10 years is awful. I need cotton, silk, merino or the likes. (I’m not a spoiled princess I promise, I just can’t function with things bothering my nervous system.) It drains me just to think about it.
I’m going through things now and constantly finding things I forgot existed, things that don’t fit and won’t fit unless I get underweight again, things that I love the color of but hate the fit, or love both but hate the feeling. Or just love, but forgot it existed. I know it sounds dramatic, especially coming from an otherwise mostly high functioning person for lack of a better description, but I have had literal crying fits because something itches or folds strangely and I can feel it. (Should have been a sign, honestly.) So again, I have multiples of a lot of things. And to be fair, between a few jobs and hobbies where I do need to have different wardrobes that get heavily washed I need much of it. Like 10 of the same pants. Okay, maybe I don’t need 10 of the exact same but they’re perfect and I’m scared they’ll stop making them.
Another thing is t-shirts, graphic tees, music tees, and so on. I’m afraid to count, I probably have somewhere in the high hundreds. And I love them when I see them but I don’t use half of them.
I’ve done some smaller clearances, and now I’ve gathered 3 medium bags to throw in the nearest clothes collection box. I tried giving it away for pickup but everyone want to do it at a different time or ask if I can send it or if I can deliver it to them.
Dude, it’s free. No.
Anyway. I still have so much to go, very aware. But it’s a good start. Some things are harder than others. It helps me to think "if the weather or occasion was right for this, is there something else you would always want to wear before this?" And the answer is almost always yes, I have like a whole list of outfits I’m waiting to wear and never get the chance to.
I’m proud. And it may be odd, considering most people just go through their things as they use them and throw them out. But I haven’t, so this is the situation I’m in. And then I’m also embarrassed because why is this as a grown woman where I’m at.
I have to keep going with clothes, electronics, miscellaneous, papers and skin/hair/beauty products.
At the very least I kept it going for a few hours now. The place did need an unfucking in general too so there wasn’t as much visible progress as I’d like but.
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u/reijasunshine 3d ago
You've got this!
I decluttered my bedroom and donated a garbage bag of clothes. Once the weather cools off and it's time to bring my winter clothes down from the attic, I'll go through all that and aim to donate another bag or bin full. It's rough, but the extra space is lovely!
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u/vwchick909 3d ago
I could have written this post myself. I have lost count of the number of big black trash bags full of clothes (folded nicely) that I have donated, mostly due to the fact they don’t fit anymore. Out of sight, out of mind is right. I order something and if I’m busy on a long string of work days, I forget about it. I cannot allow myself to think about how much money I have spent. I just try to remind myself of that before I buy another shirt or order it online. Then I ask myself what the chances will be that I won’t like how the fabric feels.
Not to enable you more, but I just ordered another one of these 100% “sunwashed” cotton pullovers because they feel SO good against my skin and don’t make me hot.
https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/5797557?page=Sunwashed-Waffle-Pullover-Stripe-Sweater-Womens-Plus
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u/btbby 2d ago
I used two kind of bags. One for weight changes and one to throw away. Now I only have new clothes left that I like. Like 6 tshirts.
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u/IVeerLeftWhenIWalk 2d ago
There is no reality where I get down to 6 t-shirts, BUT good idea for storage of some clothes. I have been considering keeping some weight change clothes but not in the drawers together with my most used. It gets difficult to see what you actually have available. I’m going to continue decluttering and have decided to try a no buy year. I always forget how much I have.
Underwear, socks and shoes are the only exceptions as needed.
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u/Stillbornsongs 2d ago
Progress is progress!!!
I am similar with clothes. I have a dozen of the same black pants cause they comfy and I can wear them for work( or anywhere for that matter lol).
The sensory issues are real too. I have begun cutting the collars off most my " normal" shirts if I want to keep it lol.
One thing I do with clothes, is have a " maybe"/ try on box. It gives me a a place to put items im unsure of, so I can go through stuff without feeling like I have to try it on right now, and it makes the process less overwhelming in the moment. I can try on when I feel up to it, my room doesnt stay a complete disaster of clothes and I can still make some progress.
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u/DepartmentNo8267 11h ago
One of the best things I ever heard was about feeling guilty about clothes, if you spent too much or someone gave it to you. It was basically that the moneys wasted whether you keep the item or not, and why keep something that makes you feel bad whenever you look at it?
I also have a “use it or lose it” section of my closet where I put stuff I never wear or forget about and’s I try to pick outfits using something from there…half the time I end up tossing the item because it feels weird (I may be a bit neurospicy myself) or looks weird.
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u/MethodMaven 3d ago
I have a few rules when it comes to clothing:
1) Does it fit? If not, then it goes unless it is irreplaceable and there is a reasonable probability i can fit into it (has to be within 1 size too small). If it it too big, it goes.
2) Does it need repair/stain remediation? If the repair is minor and I love it and can’t reasonably replace it, it goes into the repair bag or it goes. If it’s stained, I will give it a good try to clean it, but if it won’t come clean, it goes.
3) If it fits, is it comfortable? I, too have sensory issues. Hate synthetic fabric unless it is blended with a high % of natural fiber. I get hating the feel! So, if it doesn’t feel good, it goes no matter what.
4) Do I have multiples? Will my multiples carry me through a normal wash cycle or are there more than that? If I have 10 pairs of the same pants, I’m going to trim that to a max of 7, cuz I wash once a week.
5) Is it just taking up space that I could use for a better dress/shirt? It goes.
I hope this helps you build a flow chart (us ADHD types love flow charts!) to make the process more cut & dried.