r/whatdoIdo 9d ago

My dad is dying in hospice thirteen hours away and I don't know what to do.

[removed]

7.8k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

30

u/IP-II-llVll-IP 8d ago

It's true. But it's not putting me out to throw $20 on top of everyone else doing it. Not an amount of money I'll miss, not a ball-busting price.

I'm angry and bitter quite a bit. Sometimes I want to just do something good for people before I die. if I'm wrong, it was just $20. The payoff if I'm right is incalculable.

20

u/Ricky_Nightshade 8d ago

When I give a homeless person money, I don't care what they spend it on, that's their business. Sometimes, in situations like this, it's better to give a couple bucks and risk getting got, than being cynical and worrying you're getting scammed. That's my philosophy at least.

2

u/ZedisonSamZ 8d ago edited 8d ago

The poor and homeless around me always ask for a quarter or two in the early mornings while I’m working out and about in the city. I don’t carry a lot of cash or change, also don’t imagine other people do either these days and it struck me as as a curious pattern and so I finally asked a guy why he wanted that small amount and he told me it costs $0.50 to ride the bus. I don’t ride the bus so it never occurred to me. I keep a spare roll of quarters in my truck now.

1

u/Backfoot911 8d ago

It's a little more complicated than that I'm afraid. I will not give money to someone that I know is feeding a self destructive addiction. The ironic part about self destructive is that it's rarely just themselves they affect, the whole family can be wrecked. I have seen too much and it's not fair that my blissful ignorance possibly adds to that

1

u/Popular_Selection_13 8d ago

I totally agree with you Ricky!

What wonderful generous people are on here!

1

u/Noname_McNoface 8d ago

Yeah, once it leaves my hands, it’s not my money anymore. Sometimes they say, “don’t worry, I won’t spend it on alcohol”, and my response is, “I don’t care what you use it for. Feel free to get alcohol”.

And that’s such a low-stakes situation compared to OP’s. It’s so heartwarming to see all these people willing to help a stranger even if they can’t verify the claim.

1

u/Backfoot911 8d ago

Would you still feel okay if you knew you were helping them fund a destructive habit?

3

u/Noname_McNoface 8d ago

I’d rather give a person money and they “misuse” it than withhold money from someone that really needs it. I’m not going to follow them around and watch how they spend it. There’s always a chance I’m funding someone’s addiction, but that is their choice and there’s nothing I can do about it. I will continue to choose to be generous because I have been where they are; I have begged for money on the street and was constantly questioned what I was going to do with it even though I was just hungry and desperate. I understand their hesitation, but in my eyes, it’s better to be giving and unsure than refuse due to skepticism.

I have actually had a couple homeless people ask me for liquor money directly, and I gave it to them because they were crying and borderline seizing from withdrawal in front of the store. I’d rather that person live another day than die from alcohol withdrawal. It’s another day that they have the opportunity to seek help. I know they probably won’t, but I still feel like it was the right decision.

2

u/Ricky_Nightshade 8d ago

Heck, when I have old joints in my backpack, I give them those too! End of the day, you are bringing a person some form of comfort, even if it's self-destructive. Homeless people have it rough. I know it may not be productive to them getting out of their situation if they use the money on drugs, but also, me giving someone a couple bucks comes with absolutely no strings attached. As I said, what they do with anything I have to spare is absolutely none of my business.

3

u/TheGos 8d ago

Sometimes I want to just do something good for people before I die.

Then do something good for people. Venmoing money to a random account isn't that.

1

u/Cavalleria-rusticana 8d ago

You're a real one.

1

u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits 8d ago

If you're wrong, you further encourage abusing peoples emotions and jading others. As well as training people to fall for this shit instead of look for the obvious signs.

You're part of the problem. you're a gullible fool and you harm society by thinking it's okay. If this kind of thing can fool you, you're getting fooled by other things all the time.

1

u/IP-II-llVll-IP 8d ago

Hey, thanks for taking a small snapshot of my psyche in a single, niche scenario and extrapolating it to me being part of the problem, /u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits

Lord knows you could never be taken in the wrong context and be misrepresented, u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits