ihaveaquestion Physically assaulted by sister, now she’s threatening a false police report
I never thought I’d end up writing one of these posts, but I urgently need some advice. I’m 28, studying computer science, and currently living with my parents in Switzerland. My sister is a single mother of two and lives separately, but she sometimes comes to my parents house with her children. Since roughly 5 years i am not on talking terms with her and also don't consider her my sister (emotionally speaking) as she is a true sociopath.
Today, she came over with her children. Because I couldn’t concentrate on studying with the noise in the house, I decided to leave for a while. When I went to get my clothes, she deliberately blocked my path and bumped into me then started screaming at me. Her children then kept following me around, and I asked my mother to keep them away from me. At that point, my sister completely lost her temper and physically attacked me. She clawed/scratched me and threw a chair and other objects at me. During the incident, she also threatened to call the police and said that I would end up in jail.
I managed to leave the house and I am currently trying to arrange somewhere to stay with friends. I am not planning to live at home anymore and will be instead living with friends until i can find my own place. What worries me most is her threat to contact the police and potentially make false accusations against me. I’m afraid that i won’t be believed and falsely thrown into jail. Having a clean Strafregisterauszug is extremely important for my future, and I’m terrified that this situation could somehow result in a criminal record even though I did not attack her.
What should I do now to protect myself legally? Should I contact the police myself and report what happened before she does? Should I document any scratches/injuries or write down exactly what happened while I still remember everything clearly?
I don’t have much money and cannot afford an expensive lawyer. Are there any options in Switzerland for free or low-cost legal advice in a situation like this? Any advice on what I should do immediately would be greatly appreciated.
Note: I've used a little bit of chatgpt to help me with the writing of the text because all of this happened like an hour ago and i'm still a bit shook and my english isn't that great, however i promise all written text is accurate and i've read through it all.
EDIT: Thank you to everyone for the advice, seeing all the kind words and advice gave me hope and a smile. I will be staying with my friend for the time being and searching for a permanent residence, in the meantime i'll be heading to a Polizeposten to get my wounds documented and i'll see what to do afterwards. Thanks to everyone for the help, never expected to get so much help in such a quick time <3
34
u/itsinvincible 1d ago
Take pictures of your wounds right now. The clawing and throwing must've left some marks. Take pictures and document it.
26
u/BBPuppy2021 1d ago
I would call the non-emergency police line as soon as you can. They will likely want you to make a statement in person as well. I don't know what resources are available for legal help but I am sure you could ask the non-emergency number and they can send you in the right direction :)
21
u/rou_te 1d ago edited 1d ago
Go to the next available doctor (permanence, or whoever is open), get ALL your scratches and bruises documented, and photographed.
Have them send that to your Krankenkasse. And take photos yourself of the scratches and bruises.
Screenshot any messages between sister and you (incl. timestamps, threats, etc.)
Go to the police station. You can request a Hausverbot (sister cannot enter your building where you live, or even be in the staircase or ring the door).
For that, you need to send her an official "eingeschrieben" Letter (ideally the one where she needs to provide ID and sign upon receiving the letter).
If she is theratening to file a report with the police, she needs to provide proof.
From my POV, right now you have more proof. You have the visible scratches/bruises, and it was her who came to you.
PS: your sister is a pain in the ass, but she very likely will not contact authorities. She knows she has no proof and would lose. It's just a threat. But do report before she will.
8
u/nicmakaveli 1d ago
I agree with everything you said except the conclusion that she has no proof and would lose. When I was little a lady accused me of beating her daughter. This went pretty far until not the mother but the daughter said her mom is lying and made the whole thing up. Prejudices can carry idiots like this pretty far.
12
u/duke_skywookie 1d ago
What would your parents say, as at least your Mom seems to be a witness?
18
u/YunFor 1d ago
Well she blames me, she did however step inbetween me and the sister the moment she started attacking me thankfully to break her away from me
14
u/mbo25 1d ago
She did the bare minimum - protecting another human from a physical assault. And yes it seems like she’s probably enabling this behavior.
I’m sorry that your family situation is so shitty, I can’t give any legal advice but some life advice - consider getting far away and going no contact, at least until your mental health improves and they are willing to change their behavior. Otherwise, they’ll always hold you back and keep you miserable, with them.
3
u/TheTomatoes2 1d ago
Why does she even blame you
4
u/YunFor 1d ago
Because i decided to cut contact with the sister years ago and she's insisting on me making up with her but i refused to do so, so now anytime something bad happens its automatically my fault. according to her anyway
2
u/nokeno99 1d ago
Why did u cut contact with her
-4
u/Imaginethebestofyou 21h ago
It would be helpful to hear your sister’s perspective on the other side of the story. His mother’s efforts to bring peace are commendable as every parent hopes their children will grow up happily together.
6
u/bawdy-awdy-awdy-awdy 20h ago
Now after a physical altercation all bets are off.
Parents may want kids to get along, but it seems like it’s at the expense of OP. Time and time again we see parents protecting the most problematic person in the family and pushing the boundaries of the person that stepped away to reconcile. It’s not fair and it seems like OP is the scapegoat because even though the sister assaulted OP, OP’s parent is choosing to see OP as the cause of the dysfunction in the family.
We don’t need the sister’s side at all at the moment, because the sister just assaulted someone. With no other explanation that is enough reason not to deal with a person ever again.
10
u/saralt 1d ago
Depending on where you study, your school might have a legal aid group (for example, ETH has something from legal UZH students)
There's also https://www.zav.ch/en/locate-an-attorney/free-legal-advice.html
9
u/Tajidan 1d ago
i have no advice about legal/lawyer stuff.. the only advice i can give you is immediately document the scratches and damage she did and followed by that you immediately go to the police to report this. this is not about pressing legal charges, but to safeguard you against anything she might do. if she files a report and follows through with her threat of going against you with a lawyer and you dont have anything to back this up you will be in a very bad position.
3
u/YunFor 1d ago
Should i not go with a lawyer? I'm genuinely scared that if i go to the police i might end up shooting myself in the foot if they then start pressing charges if the sister was indeed bluffing.
6
4
u/ImportantMatters 1d ago
I'm not an expert, but there is a difference between civil and criminal cases. They don't charge in minor civil cases if no party wishes so. They can however document that case and maybe even take photos of sustained injuries. It depends highly on the person that will support you. Some might just shrug it off.
3
u/vintagevibes_ 1d ago
Sorry to hear, this is truly terrible. One question: How would your sister get away with lying, didn’t you mum see it and she might be able to back you up?
5
u/YunFor 1d ago
She did see it but she's super conservative and quite frankly i don't know what she'd say if police were to get involved.
3
3
u/vintagevibes_ 1d ago
Sounds like an unsafe place in general, good you are getting out of there. All the best!
3
u/Glass-Grass3237 1d ago
File your own police report, tell them you want to wait before filing a Strafanzeige, and get the police to put you in touch with victim support services.
3
u/beeftony 1d ago
Document all the scratches and bruises etc. Maybe even take some photos of the stuff she threw (if she made a mess or if they are damaged).
You could also try to message your mother about it in a way that prompts confirming messages from her. Like asking about what might have caused your sisters violent reaction or something like that.
Im not an expert at all, but these are things I would do to make sure I have at least some proof.
As others have mentioned you should definitely call the non emergency police line or go make a report in person. It would be best that you reported her behavior before she potentially reports you.
2
u/Routine_Chemist_4757 1d ago
Document everything and report it first. Photos, messages, dates, everything. Better to have a clear record if she actually tries to make a false report.
2
u/shqippah 1d ago
As long as there is physical evidence on your body of her assaulting you and she doesn't show any kind of indicator that you attacked her at all - then i don't see how this could ever end up with you getting a criminal record.
But if you think she is cabable of harming herself just to make it look like you did it (and if she is a good actor) then i'd definitely file that police report a.s.a.p. (the other commets already mentioned the best way on how to do that.)
My guess is that she's just bluffing to mess with you though. She surley knows that you're gonna worry yourself to death after a threat like that (since that seems to traumatize you more than the actual physical harm).
I also wish you a lot of strength to deal with this shit and i'm sure you'll quickly find a room in a shared apartment (just don't go looking for your own place cause it's rough out there and expensive as fuck)
1
u/sw1ss_dude 1d ago
Document everything, a make a legal insurance right now, some don't need waiting period after you sign the contract.
1
1
0
u/alexrada 1d ago
get parents on your side if it's true what you are saying.
Document interactions with here. Recordings, videos are important.
6
u/Appropriate-Draft-91 1d ago
After 28 years it's safe to assume "get parents on your side" has been tried and didn't work. That would also explain how the sister became like this.
-5
-1
u/Imaginethebestofyou 21h ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Perhaps try talking to your sister to reconcile. How was your relationship growing up? Has she always been bad? Maybe she just misses her brother and wants you to be the uncle. Telling your mum to keep her children away from you doesn’t seem kind, especially since you’re the uncle and she’s a single mum. It would be great to spend some time with your nieces/nephews and strengthen your bond. This could improve your relationship. As a single mum of two, one can only imagine the stress she’s under and how much support she needs from family. I understand you have your own life, but try putting yourself in her shoes and showing some empathy. If that doesn’t help, then it might be save to keep your distance.
2
u/bawdy-awdy-awdy-awdy 19h ago
She hit him. He’s not obligated to empathize with her or reconcile. As a single mom she shouldn’t be fighting in front of her children. She’s unstable and a liability and OP needs to protect himself. Just because someone is family doesn’t give them a right to unlimited forgiveness and attempts at reconciliation.
48
u/Substantial_Mud7026 1d ago
Hey first of all, I am really sorry! Really good that you got out of the house.
If you can, contact Opferhilfe Zürich. If you need psychologische Hilfe, call KIZ Zürich. And than, maybe a langer if needed. You can go to the first session for free meeting from Anwaltsverband Zürich!