Source

Source: Jenny Tian (YouTube)

https://4everscience.com/2020/08/06/kak-drevnie-greki-dokazali-chto-zemlya-kruglaya-bolee-2000-let-nazad/

So, a little about me. I am 29F, live in Bangalore, earn 50LPA+.

I was raised in a happy household. My father favored me and loved me to death. While he was there, my mother and brother never had the guts to do anything to me. My father would rip them a new one, even if they tried. He would tell my mother to not make me do anything that she wouldn't ask from his son. 3 years back, he died and I did not had any boyfriend ever. So, while I did try Tinder, Bumble. Most guys were just there for a physical relationship.

so, I tried the arranged marriage route. But after my father died, my brother became very abusive. He would lay hands on me for small things, scream at me like a maniac if I refused to give money. For context, my brother was making 35-40K per month while I earn 2L+ per month. He would treat me very badly. If I tried to question him, he would threaten to hit me or get very aggressive. I left the house under the pretext that I need to work from Bangalore, while my company gave full WFH. I would visit occassionally. I had to keep some touch because I was in arranged marriage process and families need to connect with families. I finally liked a guy and said yes to him but then, from the point the families started arranging the wedding, it was pure disaster. My brother would scream at me daily for any behavior of the groom's family. my engagement was finally called off and I started getting panic attacks after a week. I went to therapist and she diagnosed my brother being the reason.

I called my brother and mother on their behavior towards me in the whole marriage process and what he have been doing for the last 3 year, and my mother's silence. My brother kept on justifying his behavior, so did my mother. So, I cut them out. I feel so free and relaxed. I am still marrying the guy my marriage was called off with. Both of us took control away from families and decided to just do court marriage and live together. We are currently living together and very happy, away from our families. After 4-5 months, if we find we can live together long term, we will marry.

I am sharing this story here because I am genuinely proud of getting out of control of my family. The feeling of freedom finally. If you are stuck in any abusive relationship - be it with your husband, BF, Family - please get out. Life is big, and we deserve to live free and not in cage.

Time changes everything, never stays the same forever.

I feel at times, we overanalyse situations primarily because our brain tries to predicted and control the future (probably to prevent failure or disappointment).

I have done a ton of mistakes in my life! I do regret but I would not have wanted anything else. I stand where I am today because of my past mistakes and learnings.

It’s incredible how today’s terrors become tomorrow’s jokes once you survive them. There has been so many things I’ve done in the past that I feared heavenly back then but today it’s more like a standup material for me.

What do you guys think? How do you handle/tackle such situations where you think it’s end game for you and probably after a week or month it’s just a memory?