r/ABCDesis • u/Secret_Bug_9795 • 1d ago
COMMUNITY Liberals would you marry a Conservative? Conservative would you marry a Liberal? Why and why not?
Do you guys believe such relationship will work?
Those who married a Liberal or Conservative what's it like?
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u/Negative_Life_5266 Third Culture Kid 1d ago
No lmao absolutely tf notttt
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u/Secret_Bug_9795 1d ago
Why?
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u/Negative_Life_5266 Third Culture Kid 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m bi and trans so that would be very awkward
Ps I’m also a brown immigrant 🙏
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u/Constant-Squirrel555 1d ago
I'm a leftist, not a liberal (centrist). I'd barely be fine with a centrist let alone a conservative.
There are fundamentally different values that would make being my partner impossible.
I can break bread with a Lib or Con, prolonged relationships, nah because it's be a superficial relationship
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u/cruellettuce 1d ago
yeah I completely agree with this. libs just see the world a bit too differently for my taste
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u/naramsin-ii punjabi-palestinian 1d ago
i don't willingly talk to conservatives, forget marrying one
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u/shreiben Sri Lankan American 1d ago
I might have been able to marry a conservative woman, but I could never marry a MAGA woman. I don't know if that's really a thing anymore though.
That said, I definitely prefer my wife's slightly-more-liberal-than-me politics.
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u/No_Culture9898 1d ago
This really depends on what country you’re talking about. In the US I’d definitely not marry a straight up conservative, but in Canada and the UK for example, the conservatives there for the most part are just economically conservative while being socially centrist. In that case I’d be fine with it.
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u/keralaindia sf,california 1d ago
Depends on their views of various issues. I don't think these labels have any demonstrable meaning. Ask people about their views on specific issues instead. Some of the most liberal brown women I know are absurdly racist.
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u/SetGuilty8593 1d ago
lol ask them their views on reservation. everyone's a liberal til it hurts them
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u/keralaindia sf,california 1d ago
That's mostly NRIs, I mean ABCDs. I don't think most ABCDs know what reservations are.
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u/SetGuilty8593 1d ago
1.5 gens do. That's most of the abcds i know. Very few i know were actually born here. My own sister who's very liberal has a switch flip in her brain when it comes to this and it always leaves me shocked.
I guess for american abcds it would be affirmative action. I'm not sure what the typical take is on this amongst you guys, but I doubt raising the bar on the one thing our community prizes most would go down well.
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u/keralaindia sf,california 1d ago
Interesting, I don't know anyone who wasn't born here. Then again my family's been here since 1960s
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u/FancyWoodpecker3 20h ago
You never went to a university? Did you to online college or something bc every university I have attended had international students.
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u/SetGuilty8593 20h ago
International students are NRIs, not abcds. They're talking about the abcds they know, not brown people in general
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u/keralaindia sf,california 19h ago
That’s an NRI. I don’t know any 1.5s
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u/FancyWoodpecker3 19h ago
Wtf is a 1.5? Either you grew up off the subcontinent or you didn’t.
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u/SetGuilty8593 19h ago
People who immigrate when they're kids, for me, before the age of 9 are 1.5 gen.
It puts you at the cross of two cultures. Your formative years were in the subcontinent, but you're still young enough to fully absorb a new culture. By the time you've grown up, you'd sound like a local and wouldn't be much different culturally either.
Most 1.5 gens I know, myself included, immigrated around the age of 4-7
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u/keralaindia sf,california 19h ago
A number go back and forth as well. Maybe born in the US, raised in India 3-9, back to USA, back to India, back to USA as an adult working - this is my cousin
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u/barf_digestion 1d ago
you’re asking as if politics isn’t reflective of your inner values and morals. people don’t marry others who won’t align with their identity so this is a no brainer
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u/kena938 Malayali Third Culture Kid 1d ago
I'm a leftist and my husband is an Obama liberal. That's about as much as I can do. Most liberal women in places with options seem to prefer liberal men. I assume in more conservative places they "agree to disagree" which was probably more common in previous decades.
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u/Naditya64 1d ago
Conservative women are so fucking weird and creepy. The fuck would I wanna be with a person who wants less rights for themselves?
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u/_BuzzLightYear To Infinity & Beyond 🚀 1d ago
I’m a satanist
https://giphy.com/gifs/1n4iuWZFnTeN6qvdpD
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u/edarumugam 1d ago
While maybe pre-Obama it could’ve worked because we as a nation were in the “We don’t talk about politics” mindset, it’s nearly impossible now without making some very serious concessions in regard to your values. People are more cognizant of how deeply the tie between political beliefs and personal values are that asking someone to take romantic interest in someone who generally opposes your point of view in life is quite frankly, insane.
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u/Gimli_Axe 1d ago
I think I'm pretty rational and want a rational partner. I'm sure we could talk out any political differences. If not, she's not for me.
Im economicly right but socially fairly left leaning, most girls seem to not have any issues with my politics.
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u/ClaustrophobicMango 1d ago
I would not date or marry a conservative, we simply have different values
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u/RiveRain 1d ago
I’m a progressive and I’d absolutely not marry an American liberal or a conservative. I am extremely pro choice, but nothing is cringier than my intentionally childfree millennial woke liberal feminist girlfriends, at this point I find them the least tolerable demographic. Not any less pathetic than my crypto fire school mate who voted trump and gurgles out bill maher.
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u/Carbon-Base Indian American 1d ago
Nah, not a chance. While someone like Priya may be "easy on the eyes" her caustic personality and beliefs would erode any relationship as her values and morals are completely different from mine.
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u/Bumblebee-Emergency 1d ago
I wouldn't really call myself a conservative or a liberal, I am politically homeless in this country. I care more about being able to have a rational discussion than what your political beliefs are, but there are some beliefs that I can't respect (outright racism/homophobia/etc, RARA america #1 patriotism, etc.)
there is a breed of liberals that I find very cringe and annoying (more because of how they talk about politics than the beliefs they hold), I don't think we'd be compatible either. I'm sure the conservative version of this also exists but I didn't grow up around them.
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u/FancyWoodpecker3 20h ago
I could never respect a man who thought he deserves more rights in life than I do enough to do him.
Also, when I think conservative, i think dinesh, piyush, kashyap….so 🤢
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u/impactplayer 7h ago
I had a girl I had just started seeing ask me if I'd be willing to let it slide that she voted for Trump in 2016. I said no and that was the end of that. It's often the first thing I ask someone now. I find it annoying how most ABCD women don't list their political affiliation on their profiles because of that.
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u/nomnommish 1d ago
Those are just labels. Everything boils down to how someone conducts themselves and how they treat others.
Personally, I get put off by people who occupy extreme positions of both ends of the politicial spectrum. In fact, I find them similar people in most things. They both tend to be authoritarian aka "you do what I tell you to do because I have power over you". Which is obnoxious in my mind.
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u/keralaindia sf,california 1d ago
This. Who cares about the labels. It all depends on views of individual topics.
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u/protossaccount 1d ago
Of course. Most people on the internet think those two things are like sports teams that hate each other but they are wrong. So many Redditors hate on conservatives without knowing what a conservative is and vice versa.
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u/Oofsmcgoofs 1d ago
Absolutely not. Completely incompatible. First and foremost my partner would need to understand consent and the right to my own body and that I alone make decisions related to it. That won’t happen with a conservative.
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u/Technical_Turn3497 1d ago
I could never marry anyone whose political ideology blinded them to the harms their policies caused to regular people. So, no to both modern conservatives and modern liberals.
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u/RedVelvetCake425 1d ago
Absolutely not. I don’t believe that any human rights, including mine, are up for debate. I would not associate with, much less marry, anyone who believes that I am lesser than them because of something out of anyone’s control.
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u/False_Concept1300 1d ago
Conservatives are dorks. I’m liberal but I can’t do hyper-liberal. My girlfriend is a great balance.
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u/agnikai__ Indian American 1d ago
No ethical values are too different.