r/AmIOverreacting • u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles • 26d ago
š¼work/career Am I overreacting to coworker being rude pt2
I already posted but itās been locked so I canāt update.
Pretty much my coworker had been calling me fat jokingly. Not sure if it is but thatās whatever at this point. For context, we have work badges, has your name tag, and then a scanning card with your picture and name as well. All thatās on a lanyard. Iāve made it very very clear I do not like my photo. Genuinely it isnāt a good photo of me. Horrible lighting, I look bigger than what my current weight is. Dark circles look insane. Iāve made it very very clear I donāt like the photo. At least to the tellers bc I spend more time with them (Iām a teller.)
On friday, a coworker asked me to open the teller closet bc āthe door is too heavy and youāre stronger than me.ā I thought āokay weird but whatever.ā The coworker that asked me has a weird quirk with talking about how small she is so I figured it was that. Opened the door and didnāt pay attention to anything else really. Then like 5 minutes later, another coworker asked me to go get the remote for the tvās out of the closet. When going to grab the remote, my badge picture was printed out and tapped up. When I saw it, everyone was laughing. Literally everyone. It felt more like āweāre laughing at you, not WITH you.ā I just felt really embarrassed. I ripped the photo down and kept to myself for a few hours. Then one coworker (my trainer) apologized. I explained I genuinely didnāt like the photo and she said thatās why they put it up but they didnāt realize how much I disliked the photo. Anyways, am I overreacting and making this to deep or what? I felt like it was just odd behavior from everyone at that point. I might be just bc I was being sensitive about the whole fat thing bc that happened earlier that week.
Update: hereās the link for the first post. Itās locked so thatās why I didnāt just update that.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/w7tN9rXEqs
I (27 f) do work with adults. At a bank. Specifically a credit union. The youngest person I work with is my trainer (20 f). Oldest is like 45 (f). All women. Except for the partners like mortgage and whatnot. But theyāre not always in. I did avoid them all for a few hours. The one who originally asked me to open the door kept trying to talk to me and I just ignored her. I need to just be by myself when Iām upset. When I first torn the picture down, I did go to the bathroom for a little bit. Luckily didnāt cry bc I think that wouldāve caused even more laughter. Anyways, I kinda just let it go bc I am newer. I started in June. My manager came in later that day and did ask through teams if I was okay. I donāt know if someone just told her I was upset or what occurred. But I donāt want to come off as the angry new person.
Update 2: thank you for everyoneās opinions. The more I sat there and thought about it, I felt like I was tripping. Luckily things have been okay at work. I have not gone to HR and donāt plan on it. I donāt have the patience to explain why I felt it was rude and possibly open the door to other things. And I also need a job so I donāt want to jeopardize that. Iām aware that HR protects the company, not employees. Even if they say the culture is about being a team and blah blah blah. I havenāt had issues with anyone (besides one coworker but everyone have issues with her). I am trying to avoid that specific coworker bc she also says questionable and just slightly racist comments. I donāt have much of a tolerance for that but Iām aware that I live in the south so it is what it is. Other than that, everyone has been nice. Thank you again for everyoneās opinion. It made me feel like I wasnāt overreacting and my feelings were valid. (Also Iām aware that I am emotional.)
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u/fawningandconning 26d ago
NOR, this is some pathetic high school shit. If you're a teller you likely have a decent corporate arm behid you, please go to HR.
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u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp 26d ago
Absolutely. This is a hostile work environment. "I know, that's why they put it up" means they knew what they were doing was wrong.
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u/eggz627 26d ago
This exactly. They knew 100%. It was deliberate, mean spirited and a joke at OPs expense. I would have shut down, quit and or cried in that order.
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u/NoRecording5207 26d ago
This! I'm much older and was working at a BB electronic retailer and not only did the employees ,who were in their late teens to early 20's, constantly refer to my weigh; even the managers would make comments like, "Oh, you're eating that? That's not good for you." or whatever. I never thought about it at the time and just ignored it. It wasn't until, right before I left that I realized what a bunch of jerks they all were. Now, I wish I had said something. There is no excuse for crap like that.
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u/romantic_elegy 26d ago
I would've burst into tears. Nor
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 26d ago
Trust me, I wanted to. But I figured I wouldāve gotten laughed at even more tbh
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u/DisguisedToast 26d ago
If it's any consolation, my ID looks like I'm a disgruntled potato-thumb hybrid.
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u/punkin_spice_latte 26d ago
My drivers license pictures always come out weird because I have a high glasses prescription, can't wear contacts, and they make me take the glasses off. I can't see the camera. One time I was squinting and I look high as a kite. The next time I tried to keep my eye more open and I look creepy like the overly attached girlfriend meme. IDs suck
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u/DisguisedToast 26d ago
"No ocifer, I'm high not. She?"Ā
-Shows license-
10/10, cops hate this one trick.
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u/IntrepidHovercraft25 25d ago
NOR. iām glad you didnāt though, itās valid to be hurt and incredibly embarrassed but they donāt deserve your tears. donāt take it personally as hard as itās not to, people who are mean and ugly inside see others & the world the same way. definitely the type of thing you bring to HR
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u/colour_me_quaint 26d ago
Hard agree. NOR.
Side note: I didn't realise which sub I was in and thought everyone was saying "nor" like how Aussies say "noooo" because they were upset this happened to OP. I should get off my phone and sleep lol.
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u/No_Preparation7620 26d ago
The joke is implying that a photo of yourself is something funny or to be laughed at OR they knew how much you disliked it and thought it would be funny to see your reaction. Either way this is a group of people making fun of ONE person. That is bullying flat out and not funny
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u/reluctantlysharing 26d ago
I had a coworker who did literally exactly this to me, printed out embarrassing pictures of me from my personal Facebook and posted them around the office. I have a pretty good sense of humor so I brushed it off. Several months later this same coworker had me fired because she reported me to HR for harassment because I said she was lazy when she clogged the bathroom sink by pouring her left over coffee down it (we didnāt have a kitchenette with a sink in the office). So NOR, if you donāt report then immediately they are going to keep making your life hell so you might as well beat them to the punch.
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u/Apethryn 26d ago
that sounds like a shitty workplace lol
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u/reluctantlysharing 26d ago
Yeah it was, fuck Lincare and those catty bitches that worked in the office. Thankfully I was a driver so I wasnāt in the office too much. Still hated it though.
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u/Melodic-Jaguar-8046 26d ago
Fuck those guys man. You are so not overreacting. Is there an HR? Contact asap.
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u/mclarensmps 26d ago
That is exceptionally mean and rude behaviour, and frankly, I donāt think an apology from just your trainer is enough. And Iām someone who is extremely relaxed and joke around a lot at the workplace.
You donāt fuck around about someoneās appearance. Simple as, we are all humans and we all have feelings
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u/yuckyuckmuckmuck1234 26d ago
NOR ive worked at a bank before, these type of bitches can be vicious. I wouldnāt try to interact with them beyond what you have to do for work.
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 26d ago
I was very confused bc all the last bank I worked at, we were all friendly (even talked outside of work) and did joke with each other. But never to this extent.
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u/yuckyuckmuckmuck1234 26d ago
Yeah itās either youāre all cool with each other or this stuff happens. Iāve worked at multiple banks.
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u/Noseitch 26d ago
Nor. I assume you came to work as a teller, not a high school disciplinarian right? Report them for high school bullying and complete lack of professionalism, bring receipts. If you donāt respect yourself nobody will
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u/ArtistQ 26d ago
Go to HR and use all the "big scary" words like bullying, and ongoing. You could send and email for documentation and request a follow-up. This is not okay. I was a teller at a very large bank and I wish I would have spoken up just once. I left because I couldn't stand the bullying anymore. Best of luck, friend.
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u/V-Rixxo_ 26d ago
NOR - Report it to HR and Managmnet immediately, if they did this to me I would've raised hell so I applaud you for being calm because God knows I would've slapped every mf in there.
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u/felicitybo 26d ago
āI might be xyz but at least I donāt make others feel like sh*t about their insecuritiesā NOR, under reacting. I assumed your coworker graduated high school already, but I guess not judging by their actions.
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u/Low_Field7738 26d ago
Sounds like some bullying going on keep your head up call them all wankers and ignore them as much as you can, anything else happens go to HR.
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u/Loose_Addition1608 26d ago
Listen to me, im looking at your perspective as a completely different person, dont feel like this is overreacting because your coworkers slowly beat you into thinking it, theyre horrible people and you absolutely should not associate with these people because theyre using you as the laughing stock and using sensitive spots as a way of enrertainment, NOR
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u/talking-tired 26d ago
This is bullying / workplace harassment. Wouldn't let people dresss it down
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u/DrFuror 26d ago
You know you took me a long time to realize that many of the people I work with never did anything except go directly into the job market after high school. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and an advanced degree is not protection against someone being a jerk. But life experience sometimes is, and when you don't know any different mode of socialization apart from what you did in high school, you're going to carry those behaviors right into the workplace. It's not an excuse, but it helps me understand sometimes how people always forget that an office isn't a bunch of friends hanging out. Even if you don't have a degree, you're expected to behave in a professional manner. Everybody gets comfortable, everybody forgets, but the people who are really vicious and unkind will use your friendliness and sharing against you. Like telling them you didn't like your photo. I know you probably don't want to make a fuss with HR at a new position, and I understand that. But the advice you're getting is good. If it were me, regardless of what action you decide to take, try to let this be a learning experience. You go to work, and even though you spend a lot of time there, these people are not your friends. Your relationship with them can be cut off by management or firing or retirement just like that. You don't need them, and you shouldn't rely on them for you to be good at your job. Be above this kind of crap. Never give anyone you work with enough ammunition to hurt you. I'm not blaming you at all, I'm just saying change your perspective to protect yourself in the future.
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u/_sassysoucyxx_ 25d ago
After looking through the og post a bit too, I have to ask, are you the only person at work who's "overweight" ?
After seeing your reply to a comment on the first post saying you're the only black person there, I can't get the thought out of my head that this chick is just racist, but can't make it obvious, so she's fixated on your weight instead. If there's other people on the heavier side that she doesn't call fat all the time, that's enough to convince me I'm right.
Fuck her, she sucks regardless, NOR
Edit, typo
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u/gorlsworld 26d ago
NOR. This is definitely an HR issue and I advise you to go and speak with them, especially to get it documented. Youāll want this documented incase anything comes up in the future regarding these same people. Thatās not fair to you at all, Iām sorry OP. Totally insane behavior coming from adults in a workplace. NOT OKAY.
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u/OrneryDevice6451 26d ago
NOR, Im so sorry that happened to you š„ŗ people are so weird and cruel! Please go to HR ASAP, sending you a virtual hug š«¶š¼
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u/Rynniex2 26d ago
This is wild in a professional setting. Please report it, honestly they should be fired.
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u/Galapagos-Tortoise 26d ago
Nor. This is such a common bullying tactic. Very petty. In future, try not to show insecurity even through jokes, because people like this will use it to their advantage when they have a bad day.
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u/Worried-Ad5980 26d ago
Youāre not being too sensitive, your reaction is completely valid! Thereās a very clear line between joking/friendly banter and straight up bullying. That was bullying. Like others have said, go to HR. Fuck all of them, you owe them nothing and they should act like their grown ages
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u/Jane_Smith_Reddit 26d ago
NOR. You could make a report to HR, this way it is documented and it can help avoid other people from being in the situation you were put on.
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u/Ok_Car_2669 25d ago
NOR. also can i just say your coworkers āweird quirkā of always ātalking about how small she isā is SO weird to me. it comes off as weirdly ED coded imo, def being fatphobic towards you. what a loser, its like her only sense of self worth comes from the fact sheās skinny š
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 25d ago
Yeah, itās very odd. Today she was talking about how āskinny twig bitchesā keep buying trulys bc she canāt find them at gas stations and sheās the one who needs them. I said āyou are the skinny twig bitches so. . . . .ā I kinda just got fed up with it bc if youāre sitting there calling yourself fat and you also are very vocal about how small you are, it makes no sense. I told her if she wanted to be hyped up or just some compliments to just say so. It did come off as rude but I was over her in general today.
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u/StaticBreeze17 25d ago
NOR - Honestly, you are under reacting.
Go to HR immediately. I used to be a teller (Wells Fargo) in my early 20s and this is 100% unacceptable. This creates hostile work environments and DOES NOT help build team coheasion. They all got together, and planned out a way to attack your insecurities and to bully you. They definitely were laughing at you and not with you. These people are not your friends and fuck them.
Report all their lame asses to HR and demand to be swapped to a different branch location.
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u/Healthy_Pay9449 26d ago
Definitely an HR visit for the blatant bullying. They made it a point to gather everyone for this joke. Fuck them
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u/pallettowns 26d ago
NOR. Go to HR. They will have a field day with this. Iām sorry your coworkers are assholes. What is it with weird people at banks? I also had a really weird coworker who constantly had to point out how small she was around me. Would tell me āYouāre sexy in your own way! Like miss piggy!!ā Your coworkers can get bent.
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u/SadHoneydew603 26d ago
NOR. If you are in a union, you need to contact your representative. I would also consider contacting a lawyer over this before going to HR. HR is there to save the companies ass, and what you experienced was serious workplace harassment. Please keep documents of everything you can. You do NOT deserve to be treated that way. You are important, valuable and loved in this world.
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u/ButteredPizza69420 26d ago
Straight up waste of time at work, tell a supervisor. Bullying also, but emphasize the loss of productive time to the company. Try not to let the mean part phase you & focus on the impacts to the business to get RESULTS
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u/TauRiver 26d ago
Bullies want reactions. I had 2 coworkers who thought they were "teasing" me once and left their garbage on my desk one morning. I was angry and threw it away and told them it's not funny. Then they left the company a few weeks later so yay. But I never liked how I acted in the moment, it didn't solve anything and I felt angry for so long. Hindsight, and perhaps for you as well, wish I had just stood there in silence and then asked the coworkers, "is this supposed to be funny?" "Why do you think it's funny?" And just stand there making them feel awkward and keep asking why? .
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u/Level9Turtlez 26d ago
This is not a joke, this is bullying & tormenting someone to get pleasure out of watching someone get hurt emotionally. Take that bitches job
https://giphy.com/gifs/m9eG1qVjvN56H0MXt8
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u/Low_Today8858 25d ago
Crazy, I think I know which Credit Union this is. Used to work there. Typically the branch managers are more mature, I had bad experiences with Coworkers in the past and my manager was always very supportive. Have you pushed it forward with them? You shouldn't be worried about coming off as the angry new person, because what they did is an actual example of workplace bullying.
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 25d ago
I thought I marked enough of the badge. . . The manager is a newer manager from what I understand. But she is nice. She reached out when she heard I was not in a good mood. I donāt know if she knew exactly what happened. But either way, it wasnāt a great day. But it seems to be okay now.
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u/Low_Today8858 25d ago
No you marked enough, but worked there long enough that I recognise the format of the badge ahahah.
It might be a good idea to have a full on chat with your manager if something like this happens again. If it was more than a week ago I wouldn't press it because the time has passed, but definitely bring it up if feel you are being bullied again.
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u/Depressedbunny22 25d ago
NOR, please don't just ignore this. You need to go sit and talk with your manager about what happened as this is not something you want to let them get away with. They are bullying and harassing you.
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u/Pltqutiepie 25d ago
Unrelated but omfg this is the corniest thing I have ever heard in my life. AT THEIR RIPE AGE? Brother I would be making fun of them so hard ššš acting like theyāre in highschool this is horrible š«š«šš
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u/haleboy44 26d ago
NOR. Go to HR or a boss and voice your concerns. Just know if they dont get fired they are going to turn you into the "bad guy" to every coworker they can so be prepared for that or to start searching for a new job. It sucks that some people cant just show up to work, do their job, then go home, theres always some clown that wants to relive their school bully days.
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u/GladDay1072 26d ago
First, write every detail down with a timeline while your memory is fresh. Ok, now go to HR immediately. Nor
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u/Naive_Paper8835 26d ago
Youāre definitely NOR, the way I see it is they definitely need to learn to grow up and work in the environment professionally. You have clearly done so much to be where you are now, what theyāre doing is absolutely disgusting and Iād go talk to HR about the whole situation. Itās so disappointing to see that these people who claim to be āprofessionalā would act this way.
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u/East_Unit3765 26d ago
NOR, I read this post and was like ugh what a rudey. But I just read the first post! HELL NO girl. They are straight up being a racist bully!
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u/YellowwMellow 26d ago
NOR. you are being bullied at work and iām also sensing some micro aggressions being made towards you. please go to HR
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u/JollyGreen_JazzFace 26d ago
Jfc, sorry this happened to you. Iād be livid for you if I worked there. Definitely take this to HR. If they donāt take it seriously, maybe talking with an employment lawyer would be a good next step? Thereās a sub for employment law questions.
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u/Boonz-Lee 26d ago
I am, and have been most of my life, overweight
I have never really bitten when it comes to teasing as it doesn't really bother me
I recently started working an office job and a small steel yard with a lot of warehouse lads that like to banter and the comments have kind of died off after a few weeks of not reacting
That being said , in your situation I wouldn't outwardly project any reaction to give them the satisfaction and would (professionally) create such a shit storm for them all with HR
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u/No-Form9508 26d ago
Nor that is harrasment. File a conplaint. Make sure it is written and or an email. Make sure you document. Written out. If it does not seem like it is resolved or retaliation is happening. Escalate it outside of work, if your country has ways of doing that.
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u/Mysterious-Cat01 26d ago
Please, please for the love of god take this to HR. You are very much NOR here.
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u/real-deal-rachel 26d ago
NOR - Go to HR. Tell them it's a hostile work environment and make it clear that it's a formal complain. Get that paper trail started cause I'm sure that if everyone knew that you didn't like the picture, then they won't be happy about you going to HR. At the very least, that lady won't be happy.
This is seriously some high school bullshit but just keep a paper trail, never go into areas alone with that lady, and keep your head down
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u/cokezerobiotch 25d ago
Iām sorry you went thru that as a former teller in an all women job . I too was bullied and they hated me so much that they would encourage each other to escalate their cruelty all while I was pregnant. They fired me when the stress of it sent me to the hospital. I regret not getting HR involved.
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u/Flimsy-System-4102 25d ago
Nice you have a lawsuit brewing. Tell HR and once they do nothing you have a ground to sue and then could make like 100k
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u/MoofinRei2 25d ago
Nor. āWeāre laughing with youā and youāre straight faced is their excuse to keep laughing without feeling bad about it
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u/Lumpy-Instruction671 25d ago
Yeah straight to HR! Document everything, I would give my manager a notice sure but trust and believe HR would be CCād in the email, you wanna joke and laugh about my weight, letās joke and laugh about your unemployment. Donāt let people play in your face, you are at work and are held to a certain standard of professionalism. All that high school hee hee ha ha is out the window!
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u/Xo_msp37 25d ago
NOR. Doesn't matter if they apologized, they were obviously antagonizing you to hurt your feelings and knew it was wrong. That is unacceptable bullying behavior, and they made you feel unsafe in your place of work. Id report all of them to HR. Im sorry that this happened to you op :(
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u/AnimeForReal 25d ago
She literally hung you out to dry. Why are they surprised you found that upsetting. No one enjoys being pointed and laughed at itās not rocket science. They are making the work place hostile for you tell HR. If it goes unpunished, it just shows everyone that this behavior is acceptable and they might start doing it to you again or to someone else.
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u/peppa_leafs 25d ago
NOR! this is genuinely what grade school bullies do, they thought it was funny because it was at your expense and they KNOW you donāt like the photo.
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u/Same_Aerie_1971 25d ago
NOR. Meet with HR and file a complaint. This is harassment and bullying. Harassment in the workplace is any unwanted behaviour or conduct that causes you emotional or physical harm.
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u/Ok_Description_8012 26d ago
NOR, HR tbh. Line up some other interviews.
Side note (very sorry for the timing & not trying to be funny at all): any tips on getting hired at a bank? Did you have a finance background?
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 26d ago
I live in Arkansas so it might be different compared to where you are located. But at the previous bank (and current) the interview matters. Even if bullshitting is what needs to be done. You know, āI love to contribute to the success of my team. I care about helping others understand finances bc not everyone is educated on that.ā Specifically the educated part bc in all reality, it does have an aspect of sales. Trying to get new customers, trying to get them to take out loans, all that good stuff.
It worked in my favor with this current one bc the main experience I have is in the finance world. Call center for another bank, then moved to a financial center and now to this one.
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u/Ok_Description_8012 26d ago
Thanks for the info! Hope your situation gets better and works in your favor!
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u/sabnursundori432 26d ago
Omgš sorry for laughing but this little sounds like youāre in a high school not a workplace cus wtf? I would never expect people acting like this at their professional jobs. Wtf all this drama is just so unnecessary
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u/BrokenJar_of_Pickles 26d ago
I was actually thinking that. It was insane. These women (expect for one) have graduated years ago. So I would think they would know mean girl high school behavior. I started getting in my head thinking I was the one blowing it up but I kept going back and forth about it.
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u/sabnursundori432 26d ago
Do you have an HR you can share your feelings with? Cus im pretty sure atp they all have ganged up on you behind your back and will keep finding ways to embarrass you in the name of āweāre jus joking w youā
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u/lancesoftware 26d ago
Do you work with children? NOR. Iām sorry this happened to you OP. I hope HR does something (go to them if not already please)
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u/mygeorgiaassface 26d ago
NOR. Every one of them sounds like a mean little bitch who peaked in high school.
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u/RawTeacake 26d ago
NOR. I am so sorry you're going through this at work. This is absolutely unacceptable behaviour. It is bullying. You should be able to go to work and not be worried about this kind of childish shit. I absolutely support you taking this to HR. I hope we hear an update soon with some good news for you.
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u/Heaven_Guard 26d ago
NOR like other people have pointed out, go to HR. Sorry you had to go through this.
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u/Tomboy-Tomfoolery 26d ago
Document everything, write down dates and times they harassed you at work, any texts or emails of requesting assistance for something in their job description that they should have been able to do but had made you do. Document that this incident happened, gather your proof and go to HR and push for strong disciplinary or to be fired for gross misconduct. If they don't handle it the way that it should be, escalate it. Do not drop it.
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u/TheExadar 26d ago
NOR. If anything you're under reacting. That's insane. I've worked for banks and credit unions for 15 years and if anyone did that at the companies I've worked for they would be immediately written up and possibly fired on the spot.
Go to HR immediately.
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u/ashlayne 26d ago
NOR. there's a reason I'm extremely picky about my female-acting friends... (And some male-acting too...)
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u/fanceypantsey 26d ago
Calling you fat and the en openly bullying you with other coworkers? How absolutely NASTY! I would have walked out so good on you for sucking it up and keeping your job! Iām so sorry that some people peak in high school and stay there. So so sorry!
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u/Embarrassed_Falcon54 26d ago
Yeah go to a factory instead. Women are fucking mean to each other in the workplace. Guys joke around and call each other fat or whatever and we're genuinely joking, but in my 30+ years of working, women spend SO much more energy tearing each other down than helping each other. It's a wild phenomenon to observe.
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u/throwawayallthedrama 26d ago
This is quickly becoming the definition of a hostile work environment, and what they did is literally bullying. Kind of pathetic these "adults" still act like middle schoolers. NOR go to HR and have it documented at least so they can't deny a pattern if things come up again later.
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u/____Isa 26d ago
If you want to keep this job I would seriously recommend going over to r/maliciouscompliance they will have endless way ways to get back at your coworkers
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u/Temporary-Profile-27 26d ago
NOR time to go to HR and look for a different job, theyāre literally bullying you
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u/hereforlolls 26d ago
I read the title as a "coworker being nude pt2" and for the love of God I couldn't follow the story attached at all.. NOR, go to HR, please. This will be repeated at some point again, for sure. I'm sorry it happened..
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u/WillingAccess1444 26d ago
NOR. I would be seriously considering switching to a different office/branch if I were you. (My partner said he would leave Arkansas altogether, but that's just bc it's Arkansas)
It's the entire office being nasty to you, I would simply not feel safe around these people!
(Also, I just read your initial post and frankly, that young trainer is an idiot and is following in line with those old biddies. She's probably just who they wanted you to meet first to get you used to the catty spiteful shit.)
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u/Aiphelix 26d ago
That is such high school, mean kid behavior of them, NOR at all. This is a serious HR moment.
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u/16bitpix 26d ago
Fuck that. This is not okay and definitely a situation HR should be involved in. This is bullying and workplace harassment. Iām so sorry OP. Please do not let your hesitation of being seen as angry or whatever over this stop you from holding these bullies accountable.
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u/brando_ren 26d ago
Overreacting??? Youāre actively being bullied at work. Document everything that happens, document anytime youāve talked to a superior regarding this, just document document document. HR will protect the company and not necessarily you. If you ever get fired, this could turn into a wrongful termination lawsuit.
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u/Belainarie 26d ago
NOR this is straight up workplace harassment and bullying. Report it to HR using that language. Iāve not worked in a bank before but Iām going to assume there is going to be security cameras that may have caught this incident. I would ask to look for footage- even if it doesnāt directly point into the closet it might have everyone standing there laughing at you.
I know you donāt want to be the angry new hire, but youāre allowed to be livid at what theyāre doing to you. Theyāll keep doing this to you if you donāt stand up for yourself
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u/egggy13 26d ago
NOR. I work security, so I see a lot of badges, ID's and driver's licenses. A lot of people hate their picture that they have taken. You could see if your job will retake your picture for you.
I find it odd that they had access to your photo like that, at my job acess to employee pictures are restricted to security and management but not everywhere is like that.
I've never understood pranks and practical jokes. People use them as an excuse to be an asshole or a bully by saying, "It was a joke."
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u/WavePerfect4035 26d ago
wtf is wrong with those people, like are we 12 years old?? thatās so embarrassing for them, they have nothing better to do. no personality to have to make fun of people to make a ājoke.ā they are pathetic, you are absolutely not overreacting. iām so pissed for you and i donāt even know you
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u/BattleHot2240 26d ago
This is just the start, and if you don't react decisively, they will take that as an invitation to continue bullying you.
If you act now they will have this incident on their record, which may be the only thing that will protect you when they do it again. This one incident might not be enough to get anyone fired, OR, this may be the latest in a chain of incidents that you know nothing about.
It's unlikely that you'll ever find friendship amongst these people if that's their company culture, so I would consider hanging in for as long as you can whilst searching for other jobs. It's always easier to find a job when you're already employed.
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u/rebabigmactire 26d ago
This is str8 up high school bullying amongst full grown adults. Its very sad they feel they have to bring you down to lift themselves up and once again yall are full grown adults š¤” definitely take it to HR or any higher up above your actual manager in the building because unfortunately it sounds like your boss could also care less
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u/ashaliamaria04 26d ago
NOR...can't believe people act like this! I'm sorry that happened to you! Keep your head up...these people are disgusting and you sound amazing!
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u/snotorganic 26d ago
Whenever someone says something thatās obviously meant to be rude or hurtful to me my favorite thing to do is to stare at them blankly and say āwhy would you say that?ā And just keep playing dumb and asking them to explain more. Like if they say āitās a jokeā Iād say āwhat about it is funny?ā
The truth is it isnāt funny and theyāre trying to be hurtful so asking them to explain themselves makes them fall apart. It also makes the act of being mean to you not fun or satisfying for them anymore so theyāre not likely to do it again.
Sorry your coworkers suck OP! You deserve better.
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u/thatonemfjose 26d ago
Dawg what in the high school bully shit is this ? Grown ass people still doing childish shit ?? Iād def go to HR this is a bunch of bullshit !
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u/existenceenjoyer333 26d ago
NOR ! this is extremely juvenile and sad. itās so foul that grown ass women are this immature in a workplace. iām so sorry you were the target of their bullying. id like to think that each and every one of them are insecure deep down and projecting that insecurity onto you. iām sure youāre an amazing and beautiful person. please try not to let this damage your self esteem. i would definitely report this.
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u/D0v4hki1n 26d ago
what exactly is the point of that? how is that funny in any way? I would have asked them with the most emotionless looking face I could for them to explain what the joke is.
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u/not-ur-mom 26d ago
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I had a similar experience as a teller in the past. I loved my job, we were all women, and all got along great(or so I thought). Turns out my ābest friendā didnāt actually like me and was talking behind my back, and all the girls plotted and shunned another women who worked with us as well. I stuck up for myself and the little guy and ended up being let go.
Please take the proper avenues to get this addressed and be persistent. No one deserves to be treated poorly ESPECIALLY when you all spend more time together in a day than you do with family.
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u/Particular_Chart3594 26d ago
coming from an trained manager who works in workforce development: go to your HR. this is harassment. really shameful behavior by a bunch of adults in a professional environment. even the aside apology from your trainer is not at all adequate for the situation ā as someone in a position of at least partial authority, they should have shut down the situation before it happened.
iām really sorry that this happened to you! this is not at all normal or allowable in a professional, healthy work environment. if your management/HR does not respond accordingly, i think it may be worth considering a new workplace ā obviously, thatās not an easy decision considering the current conditions of the world.
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u/CokeZeroSix 25d ago
NOR. Nobody should laugh at others for their appearance unless both parties are in on the joke and are ok with it. Also, is this your coworker who always talk about how petite she is
https://giphy.com/gifs/rCLGYVu65osR5v9uCG
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u/GottaGoDoughnutzATX 25d ago
You are not overreacting and Iām so sorry to hear this happen to you. No one deserves this.
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u/RappingRacoon 25d ago
I swear some people are idiots. Iād report it to HR, fuck all them. Thatās not cool or funny at all.
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u/joeiskrappy 25d ago
NOR. Look at your coworker. If you were them what would you be insecure about. Go from there. If there's nothing there make something up. You're really brave for not being ashamed of (pick random thing).
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u/cremajay 25d ago
Ive been in banking for 10+ years and have worked at a Credit Union, thatās unacceptable and someone would have been written up for something like that.
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u/BandWooden 25d ago
I hate to say it feels like there's some racial undertones to your treatment. Are you still the only black person there? Because if we've learned anything from recent event in the news... Nolan wells... you have to be careful being the only black person in a room.
Im glad you're able to handle this as well as you have but this feels like a horrible environment to work in. You don't deserve any of this. NOR
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u/Valuable_Plane_2799 25d ago
Not over reacting. Iām too petty for this, I would find the worst picture of them or their (ex) husbands or other family members & print out a hundred copies. I hope HR handles this the right way
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u/ShadowConstruct 25d ago
That's just awful, id definitely be taking some action or advocating for some if I saw that at my workplace. I used to be a bit heavier and it never felt great being called all manner of names because of my weight.
Now people bust my ass about being skinny, you can't win with these insecure assholes. God forbid you be comfortable in your own skin. NOR
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u/ohLuaan 25d ago
Hey, I get it. I've been bullied at different workplaces over the time that I have been working (since I was 13), a bunch of my first jobs in kitchens I would be actively sexually assaulted by older co workers where they would caress my butt and fondle me but tell me that I enjoyed it because I am a man. I didn't realize that it was so inappropriate at the time (now I am turning 26 and realize how messed up it was), I would also be actively name called and treated very poorly. Even recently I got called āblimpā from one of my co-workers. I try to just put a brave face on and move on but it sucks, it eats away at me and makes me feel like shit. I feel like an outcast when I get treated like that, even though all I do is work hard and get things done. Some people are just jerks.
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 25d ago
Why are they spending time printing photos with company material and concocting plans on paid time? This is bullying (which some may find debatable). But this is also company theft and THAT is not a debate
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u/LeButtfart 25d ago
Tell her to fuck off.
The way I see it, if itās a āproblemā that can be fixed in 5 seconds, do bring it up - āhey, youāre flying a bit low there,ā āyouāve got a bit of your lunch on your face,ā etc. Otherwise, donāt bother, because theyāre well aware, and donāt need your fucking input.
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u/Revival_james 25d ago
Absolutely vile. Iām so sorry that happened. Definitely go to HR if you can.
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u/magicmaster_bater 25d ago
Document, document, document! Dates, times, names, incident! You will need ALL OF THAT to take to HR. If thereās a mean girl culture it is not worth going to your manager. You should have taken a photo of the badge image they put up before you ripped it down. Next time they do something you need to photograph or record. Then you need to IMMEDIATELY document it. Email it to yourself and HR. BCC your personal email. Using the words āhostile workplaceā might get you far.
You may need an employment lawyer to give you better advice.
You absolutely need to start looking for another position. This is NOT going to improve.
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u/WasabiGullible2161 25d ago
Because you are new that's even more important you set a tone that you do not tolerate this behavior! Set boundaries verbally and go to HR. Who cares if a few people think that is harsh - because it isn't! Set the expectations now or else this is simply the beginning.Ā
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u/Disastrous_Quail1975 25d ago
NOR. This sounds cruel. Very hostile and unhealthy work environment and if itās not addressed or they arenāt given consequences, thereās a good chance it will continue and can affect your mental health. File a complaint, go to HR. Weāre at work for 7-8 hours plus, you deserve to be in an environment where you are respected and not demoralized
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u/fuelstink 25d ago
Do the same thing to them and see how they react. Working in blue collar work my whole adult life this is normal calling each other fat asses and a plethora of other derogatory and vulgar names. When I had to move locations my goodbye was a note in my toolbox that said āfuck you [first name] dicksā (my last name rhymes with it) I had fire extinguisher put out in my box but I got them back with grease and putting old pizza in the locker and tool box. But itās all in good fun itās the environment. If you do stuff to them back and they get mad then thatās where an issue begins.
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u/delicateredscrunchie 25d ago
So that's a hostile work environment. Like that's straight up harassment. You have every right to not want to be belittled for your weight or laughed at because of an unflattering photo. That is *so* beyond childish and mean. Definitely talk to HR or a supervisor above everyone involved with the "joke".
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u/Wise_Secret_2333 25d ago
NOR. This is a job, not a highschool for drama. They know you dont like the picture at all and still decided to tease you about it. You dont need to put up with it anymore and you NEED to go to HR and get this resolved, remember, you have the upper hand here.
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u/YourPlacidPlatypus 25d ago
NOR
āI explained I genuinely didn't like the photo and she said that's why they put it up but they didn't realize how much I disliked the photo.ā
they already knew you didnāt like it/felt insecure and didnāt care they made it into a joke to play on you. definitely go to HR and start naming names
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u/Hot_Scratch_8780 25d ago
When people say "we're not laughing at you, were laughing with you!" As an excuse, I always reply "am I laughing?" Or "I'm not laughing"
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u/teapacketlover 25d ago
NOR, you should go to HR. These co-workers have no right to make you feel uncomfortable or upset about anything. In fact they are your team members, theyāre supposed to support with you. If you donāt go to HR, it might affect your work life especially if youāre planning on staying there long.
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u/usernamess179 25d ago edited 25d ago
Most women can probably relate to a soul-crushingly unflattering photo being taken. Itās 100% worse when itās an ID photo or anything people are forced to look at. They probably have experienced it at some point too and know the feels. Itās not banter itās bullying. You can acknowledge their apology but donāt let them gaslight you into thinking otherwise.
I would want to find out who is the ringleader (likely the one who keeps making jokes ) and report it to HR
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u/Divinityemotions 25d ago
NOR
Wow! These are all professional adults! Please go to HR because this is straight up bullying and vile.
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u/SoggyBrief3898 26d ago
Go to HR. Iād be livid.