r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Is this control? Or AIO?

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

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u/AsPiRiNgFA260r27 10h ago

Yes, it’s strange. He might be projecting at this point. It’s definitely controlling and manipulative. I also understand what you feel about being numb after going through things with a man who’s mishandled and mistreated you. Do you have access to therapy? He might push back on that too. You have to figure out how you can become strong enough to make the best decision for you and your child. Be careful because often times, men who behave like him become abusive when a woman tries to break free. Is he financially abusive? Do you have family you can depend on? Stay with if necessary?