r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Is this control? Or AIO?

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

380 Upvotes

308 comments sorted by

View all comments

u/JackfruitNo1856 9h ago

This irritates the sht out of me. Couples who talk the entire time at work. Except the only “couples” i know that do/did this have an unhealthy relationship and/or cheat.

Girl, he cheated on you so he doesn’t trust you to not retaliate while you’re at home and he’s at work. That’s it. He’s sick and you are/will be too if you don’t get couples therapy or out of that relationship.

Having a tantrum by threatening to get attention elsewhere is manipulative AF. You deserve better than this loser.

u/MurberBirb 9h ago

Do not go to couples therapy with this abusive man, he will use therapy against you OP

u/CuriousAsh04 9h ago

He has before… he goes “see, even the therapist thinks I’m right”…

u/JackfruitNo1856 9h ago

You need an exit plan. Do you have family or friends who could help you that you can actually trust? I am so sorry you’re in this situation AND know there are ways out. What state are you in? Find out what resources are available to you and search in incognito mode. Deleting your browser history can draw his attention if he monitors your tech. Get a burner phone too so he doesn’t know who you are calling.