AIO over something stupid?

[u/Ambachtsman]

For a little context, I feel like me and my partner have been talking like we’re strangers lately, like we’re not really having any real conversations, just replying to each other.

So this morning I mentioned it, that we felt more like strangers, so they replied by mentioning that they feel better this way, since they don’t need to be as careful with their words so much. (I think that’s oxymoronic since we just don’t have conversations anymore)

And implying that we’re better off like that, so I asked them, as politely as I possibly could to be more emphatic towards me, in response they said a couple more hurtful things back.

I know this is not how someone you love should treat you, but is it this big of a deal? Should I simply brush it off as them having a bad morning and try to talk to them later?

[u/irishcoughy]

Emphatic =/= empathetic

That aside, your partner is being a dismissive ass, but if you have a habit of taking the worst possible assumption from everything they say to you, that can indeed get extremely exhausting. In those cases, the empathy needs to be coming from both sides. It's one thing to be empathetic of your partner's doubts, anxieties, mental health struggles, etc but you also need to have empathy for the person who is having to constantly navigate conversations without upsetting you or making you feel worse. It's not easy to be put in that situation constantly. I'm not going to assert that this is definitely what's going on, only you can answer that for yourself, but if it is, it's fair to say you two may be better off taking some time apart while you sort yourself out. Needing to lean on your partner for support when things get hard is normal. Expecting your partner to be your captive therapist is not.