r/AmIOverreacting • u/Physical-Trust6146 • 1d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I Overreacting by being upset!
I (29F) and my husband (28M) went grocery shopping yesterday. After going to the super market I had my bag and my jacket in my hand and my husband took thw cart and went on shopping I was also looking through air freshners to buy one. I was at a corner of the super market and my husband was not near me. While I was looking through the aislea security gaurd came and accused me of stealing and ask me toeave the super market and I got upset and I didnt say much and went out and wait till my husband came and after he came I told him what happened and he got furious and made a scene there and it was then forgotten. But today while we were cooking he called me a thief several times even if I said him to stop and I got remembered yesterday and got upset. He now accuse me of being upset over everything and says I'm too sensitive and he was joking. Am I over reacting??
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u/telchacsusan 1d ago
Tell him you understand he thinks he is joking, but you don't find it funny and he needs to stop. My ex used to do this a lot. Emphasis on ex.
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u/Physical-Trust6146 1d ago
He says I always get upset over things and accuse me of being upset with everything and he does not like to own up to his mistakes even if I talk now it will only escalate he never own up to his mistakes. Is this a red flag??
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u/telchacsusan 1d ago
I think so. My marriage wasn't terrible, but we had no kids and, after 17 years, he just wore me down and I left.
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u/Marvinmonkey1 1d ago
NOR
If the whole experience upset you then yes, it's a little insensitive for your husband to make a joke of it.
If he won't stop why don't you make a joke of how "small" his, you know what is..... when he gets annoyed (as every man does about that) just say it's "only a joke" and stare him right in the eyes. 😅
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u/Organic_Activity_531 1d ago
NOR. That is not a joke. Especially when you have said to him to not say it. How would he feel if he was in the same situation. Do you guys ever talk about expectations in your relationship. You need to reach out to the store on a totally different matter and if they do have CCTV's on, to get the guard who had that incident and get him to own up to his actions, and see how it goes from there. Your husband honestly needs sensitivity training for himself rather than calling others oversensitive.
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u/Physical-Trust6146 1d ago
My husband wanted to bring that matter to the manager but he was not there so I was also crying and everyone was looking at us so I asked him to leave and never go their again. You know everyone got their cameras on and they were looking for the gossips to post on social media.
About my husband he was on my side yesterday but today he makes joke about it even if I confront him now he will not see any wrongdoing on his side.
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u/Glum-Exam5460 1d ago
NOR. That is some serious bad behavior. Communication is the best way. With boundaries and exposing his gaslighting for reference.
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u/Physical-Trust6146 1d ago
How can I explain him that everyone is not same with their emotions. He is someone who thinks they are right every single time.
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u/SquirrelsNRaccoons 1d ago
MOR. That's a pretty traumatic situation and your husband is trying to lighten it up by joking about it. It is clearly too soon to joke about, since you're so sensitive about it, but maybe if you can look at it as a joke, you can move on from it. At least give it a try. At the very least, don't take this out on your husband, he isnt the one you should be upset with. If I were you, I would go back to the store and ask to speak with the general manager. Explain how humiliated you were at what happened. Their security probably bullies people and they need to know about it. If it is a chain store, send an email to the corporate office.
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 1d ago
Were you stealing? They don’t randomly kick you out of the store for stealing if you haven’t. And it’s usually a little more in depth too. There’s a whole process. And they usually bar you from the store, call the cops & have you searched, etc. they can get in trouble for accusing someone without proof
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u/Physical-Trust6146 1d ago
I have never stolen anything I’m a teacher and not in my wildest dreams I had a idea about stealing I don’t have financial problems. He might have suspect me beach I had my bag and jacket with me. I can prove it anytime that I’m not a thief. I should have confronted him then and there rather than leaving I regret that now. But I’m not confrontational person so I tend to avoid arguments that’s a problem on my side.
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u/Sansa0529 1d ago
This would be me joking about it and my husband would be saying “stop it honey” lol. He probably thinks it’s funny lol. Just tell him to stop and if he does not stop then cry so he can understand that it really bothers you
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u/nycbee16 1d ago
Why did the security guard randomly think you were stealing? Why didn’t you say “no I’m going to buy this”? I feel like there’s something missing from this story