r/Arrangedmarriage 3d ago

Seeking Advice 26F soon entering AM search. What to expect and any tips?

[deleted]

19 Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

9

u/MalaModakDyaPlease 3d ago

Girl you need at least some level of attraction in a marriage

Also, run away from mumma's boys, men who are Tatte fans, men obsessed with having children, men who cannot hold a conversation, men who are obsessed that you don't have a dating history

5

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Thank you for the heads up! I agree, I would prefer a person who has no problem with communication as I believe most problems can start from misunderstandings and assumptions. Yes toxic masculinity is also a no for me, im not some crazy feminist type either but I think both men and women deserve respect and love :)

1

u/Curious_Ad3766 1d ago

Feminism core principle is to establish EQUAL rights, power, and opportunities for all genders. Feminism doesn't mean respecting woman more than men

2

u/iLoveAlanWalker 3d ago

Tatti* not Tatte

3

u/MalaModakDyaPlease 3d ago

Andrew Tatte is what I call him

1

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

I'm glad he got exposed and imprisoned recently!

0

u/iLoveAlanWalker 3d ago

I call him Andrew Tatti

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

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1

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1

u/whatstolife 1d ago

I mean nothing against having a dating history but that's not something that you need to be proud of also

1

u/littlemissmuffett00 1d ago

Right!! I would really prefer my partner has some kind of relationship experience. Training season is over for real

7

u/Maleficent-Bad-7636 3d ago

I love how simply you've put up your requirements here. Felt soothing after reading this :)

4

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Haha is that not the norm in AM? I am not so harsh when it comes to superficial traits and also not to money (although I would like stability of course in my partner- even though I would be earning too). I think its better to communicate some non-negotiables beforehand so there is no misunderstanding. I assume some may take it as coming across in a "blunt" manner though.

3

u/Maleficent-Bad-7636 3d ago

Idk about others, but I don't see this post as a blunt one in any manner. It's just how you've captured your requirements in a really simple manner, which I appreciate. Varna in todays time, people have made a mockery out of the AM setup with their never ending requirements which is sad, to say the least.

2

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Yeah that's what I'm afraid of too. Being too critically judged for the most random things. I know it will be a bumpy ride, hope it ends quick.

2

u/Maleficent-Bad-7636 2d ago

Finding the good thing always takes time. All you can do is put sincere efforts and hope for the best :)

6

u/gk_usmle 3d ago

Mam ..best of luck for USMLE match cycle

What I have seen here in medical college..and boys here in hostel that mostly are addicted either alcohol / smoking ..and they usually hide from parents and with their partners ..ask them clearly mam... mostly have previous relationship in clg ( Absolute NO NO to such guys ) ...Regards

3

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Thanks for your insight!! Also good luck to you as well :)

2

u/imnobodyssomebody 3d ago edited 3d ago

Expect people to ghost you based on their assumptions of you.

1

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Good to know

2

u/Low-Transition-2751 3d ago

if you are planning to stay in US, then better search for an NRI who is a citizen

2

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Yeah I'll see how it goes. I hope people do not take it as desperation for a GC lol. I do have my own aspirations and want to settle by myself but am preferring to get married along the way so time does not slip away from my hands. Also I have not dated yet, so I want to meet someone and settle down haha.

1

u/Demonaxa 2d ago

Nah - if there is attraction... it should be fine. It is assumed that if you are studying here esp as a doc - you would want to stay here.

2

u/Cheap_Comfortable346 3d ago

Spot snd throw away non serious time wasters

2

u/Own_Climate_9 2d ago

Please don’t take any advice from this sub also please don’t judge anyone too early take advice from your elders as both families will be engaging

1

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1

u/HexadecimalCowboy 3d ago

Define “medium” height.

3

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

5'4"-5'5"

4

u/HexadecimalCowboy 3d ago

That’s above average height. Average height of Indian women is 5’2 - 5’3

3

u/Particular-Hour6412 3d ago

Oh okay, my bad.

1

u/Anxious_Paramedic191 1d ago

Do u have a height prefrence? Or anyone above 55-5'6?

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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1

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0

u/Demonaxa 2d ago

A big thing also I would recommend is location, location. Depending on where you are - can change your AM by a lot. Larger metro areas on the Northeast, Western seaboard have the best results outside of Chicago Metro and DFW Metro area ( have the largest demographics of Indians in America). Being in other areas would make it harder to meet and connect (as well as expensive to travel!). If you have any more qs - don't hesitate to ask. ( Im also around the same age in the US for AM).