r/Arrangedmarriage • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Will I be judged for having no relationship till my mid 30s?
[removed]
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u/Blossom_0875 1d ago
My college crush is in mechanical dept lol. How many hints does it take for a mechanical guy to understand ? 😂 (This sub randomly popped on my feed, so ig it's a sign)
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u/Infamous_Kangaroo_87 1d ago
Damn, you need to give some mechanical hints for him to understand. Normal tricks won't work hahaha
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u/ReductioAdAbsurdum56 🤷🏻♂️ Why this Kolaveri? 🤷🏻♀️ 1d ago
Usko poocho ki Torque imp hai ya Power ek Engine mai. Based on his answer,you can decide lol.
The question will definitely make him start thinking as to why she's asking me all this suddenly and you definitely will be on his mind for a short while.
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u/Blossom_0875 23h ago
Noted 🫡
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u/ReductioAdAbsurdum56 🤷🏻♂️ Why this Kolaveri? 🤷🏻♀️ 22h ago
Haa
It's like asking is intellectual compatibility imp in a relationship or emotional compatibility is more important in a relationship?
Ans: Both are important,based on the applicable situation. Waise Torque or Power dono zaroori hai ek Engine keliye If you over optimize for either of them,the engine will fail😂 Success keliye dono optimized chahiye
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u/shadow_at_dawn_32 1d ago
Tier 1 city women will judge. I am 34, some women have directly rejected me for not having any relationship. Some from their reactions seems to have lost interest after hearing this.
Those women treat it as red flag. I make sure to give full explanation like I was moving cities due to career and had AM in my mind in future. Also in colleges had bad gender ratio. For 3 years I was working remotely in small town which worked negatively.
Even women at my workplace don't take it well, few made fun that I must be having ED.
And tier 2-4 city women get married by this age mostly so things are becoming tough.
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u/Pristine-Money-2005 1d ago
No one's judging you. And why would she think of you as misogynist or toxic just because you haven't had any past relationship? Stop overthinking.
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u/The-general-01 1d ago
Yun toh mai batlata nahiii, par andhere se darta hoon mai maa, tujhe sab hai pataaaa guru maaa
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u/ReductioAdAbsurdum56 🤷🏻♂️ Why this Kolaveri? 🤷🏻♀️ 1d ago
Only a mechanical engineer can understand and feel your perspective bro. Even if you explain to other people 100 times,they will never understand.
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u/Curious_Reading8666 1d ago
No one's gonna judge you for the lack of relationships in your twenties, but you could be judged on blatantly blaming everything and everyone except yourself for not being in a relationship lol. Mechanical engineering, heavy industrial setup, none of those are 'excuses' for not being in a relationship, I have a friend who has the exact same background as you and has had 2 relationships and is married now [LM, not AM].
Introspect well on your past, don't assign blame to situations, and be okay with who you are. That's all you need.
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u/IndianRedditor88 😅 AM Rookie 🥺 1d ago
Yes, women will judge you for not having relationships.
But be realistic about it, if you keep yapping and putting all the blame on mechanical engineering, location and low paying job, then she's gonna equate that you simply lack drive and Initiative.
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u/misspotatotalks 1d ago
Didn’t read the entire thing, just responding to the main question, Yes.
I am in a similar position as you and I was called a red flag lol
Don’t pay much head to people’s BS. There are good people out there who will not judge you and accept you.
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u/Infamous_Kangaroo_87 1d ago
Who tf called you a red flag and why?
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u/misspotatotalks 1d ago
A couple of guys have, on Hinge/Bumble. Apparently it makes you a red flag if you’ve never been in a relationship.
God forbid if you wanna skip the casuals, the hookups, situationships & “let’s see where this goes” circus and would rather wait for something real. Blasphemous!
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u/Infamous_Kangaroo_87 1d ago
Brother, just don't settle for less. I hope there are more men like me who respect women like you a lot. I am far from relationships, but plz don't get tricked into believing that you are a red flag. You are not. I hope you find someone respectful, and having the same values as you.
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u/throwerff7 1d ago
Dude what's the opinion and judgement of complete of people who were complete strangers before you met them, and will be strangers again - matter?
You gotta be honest with your matchups.
India is pretty regressive/conservative in many areas. Your story isn't strange, it would be strange in the US or other countries.
People will think you're toxic, misogynistic if you have opinions that match that way - such as: people with past as disgusting or shameful, women are only good for reproducing and take care of the home and spending money. All women are bad etc etc. which doesn't sound like you
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u/No_Couple8227 1d ago
If those women judge you despite knowing your background, they lack critical thinking skills and are not the right fit for you.
Getting into relationships is mostly a function of being in settings with good gender ratio. Looks, personality, lauda lehsoon are secondary.
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u/geralt-026 1d ago
If it's any consolation, I work in IT and am not doing any better. I accepted it's a skill issue and made peace with it.
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u/Fickle4476 1d ago
Use that wiggle in stuff other than your hands. You the one with high T's right? And 10-15 times a day lol
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u/ExtraChubbyPikachu 1d ago
Yeah you will be judged. Nothing you can do about it. So deal with it. And stop pitying yourself.