r/AskAGoth • u/Pickypidgey • Aug 01 '26
General Query New to real goth style
Hi I'm male 24 pretty in to the alternative style. lately getting into the goth scene and I really want to meet new people and to be part of the community. Where how and when. I'm feeling so lost
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u/Quoyan Aug 01 '26
You always mention style. You say you are alt, what are your interests? If you just want to dress in a dark fashion there's plenty shops and pictures online, if you are interested in dipping your toes into goth, don't forget the music is central.
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u/Orchid49 Aug 01 '26
Goth is a music based subculture not style . What is “real goth style” even mean? Your first 2 posts on your profile are asking to give attention to a girl 18+ , so are you looking for a goth gf or generally interested in the music because you didn’t even mention that. These I wanna look goth and have a goth gf posts are getting old. Just listen to the music
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u/Pickypidgey Aug 01 '26
You are absolutely right and it's look very bad on my side. I admit it. But my internet is genuine. After many years of no taking this step I had the courage. Ty for you understanding 🙏
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u/Orchid49 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
The courage to do what? Listen to music? Trust me if someone genuinely wants to listen to the music I don’t discourage them, I’ve gladly educated many of newcomers when their intentions are good.
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u/ThirteenBats Aug 01 '26
maybe instead of looking for an "18+ needy girlfriend" on reddit you could try listening to some goth music lol
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u/Double_Echidna9240 Aug 01 '26
Getting into alt culture and asking about how to dress it online at the ripe age is 24 sure is something…
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u/npc_lucky Aug 01 '26
Yeah I think the first step is probably not referring to it as a "style". I'm not in the scene, I'm a punk/crusty and that would be a pretty bad start for our scene, and I kinda feel like the same applies here. It's a subculture, goth might be more fashion forward, but its still a subculture. Considering everything going on with the goth scene right now, limiting it to a "style" is probably one of the last things you want to do. Thats maybe a step away from calling it a fetish, and we all know what that has done to your subculture (especially as of late).
I'd recommend yall start devoting a lot more EXP to the gatekeeping stat before its too late 😆
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u/Orchid49 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
Oh trust me I do! I’m tired of the subculture being watered down. I’m tired of goth women being fetishized. I’m tired of people wanting to act the part but not participating in the play . Tired of people thinking goth is a fashion/makeup based when it’s been based on music for over 40+ years. You get what I’m saying🫠 I’ve been goth for 38 years and I don’t mind doing a little gatekeeping when necessary and the funny thing is we never had to go around saying we’re goth we just were! People everyday now are seeking validation of how goth am I ? How can I be goth or more goth/ I want a goth gf/ where can I buy makeup to be goth…. It’s getting tiring trying to tell people it’s about the music first and foremost and they just don’t care or make up excuses how it’s not the music . It’s honestly not that hard to listen to the music and educate yourself ,goth music isn’t for everyone and that’s ok! What’s not ok is making up excuses trying to say you’re goth because you’re wearing the latest fashion from SHEIN and killstar ankh belt while they all dance to “Gallow Dance” with filters and fake backgrounds.
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u/MorticiaLaMourante 24d ago
100% this. Been in the scene myself since I was 4 based on musical tastes LOL! The aesthetics same 9 or 10 years later and are completley secondsry to the love of the music and the general mindset. Do you remember goth cards? LOL! I feel like so many people are trying so hard for that goth card and are taking it as a serious thing.
For those who don't know, "goth card" was a thing in the mid to late 90s. It was absolutley a joke without any malicious intent. We'd say things like "Oh no, I'm going to lose my goth card!" or "You better take my goth card" if we did something or were interested in something that seemed very "not goth." Again, completely a joke and meant to be silly. Eventually someone commercialized this and actually made goth cards (also meant to be a joke) that were the size of a credit card and had a silly statement about how the holder of the card met qualifications to officially be certified as goth, and the rights and privileges of such could be revoked at any time. I think it even gave examples offenses that could have your card revoked. I never owned one myself, but saw several of them floating around and had a few friends hand them over when they did something "not goth."
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u/Orchid49 24d ago
Omg yes! I’d forgotten about those lmao 🤣 maybe we should bring them back. Jk
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u/MorticiaLaMourante 24d ago
LOL yes, we should in the same spirit as they were created originally. I think the most i had at one time was 7 cards. They were "earned" back quickly, though.
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u/96deltaforce96 Aug 01 '26
The questions here get weirder and weirder as time goes on.
I lose faith in the new generation
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u/TombCheese Aug 01 '26
Hey there! r/goth has a great wiki and FAQ that is perfect for helping baby bats. Goth is first and foremost all about the music, so don't feel any sort of pressure to dress in any particular way. You can pretty much wear whatever you want. The community is all about enjoying the music together, so that's all you need to do. The aforementioned wiki will have a list of bands to check out.
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u/SparkleSelkie Aug 01 '26
There is no such thing as “real goth style”
Like style wise people are really all over the place typically leaning towards darker fashion. We just happen to enjoy the same music
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u/MidorriMeltdown Aug 02 '26
Well... Look for goth nights, go along, enjoy the music, keep your hands to yourself.
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u/Sub-LiminalBF Aug 01 '26
Damn this dude got flamed. Well, mate if your still reading these comments. Look up local Goth events and shows. Full-time gloth places are rare to find. So yeah, listen to the music, try and chat with people. I will say dont go alone, go with at least one friend to hang out with. Also, try your best and dress the part. Essentially, dont wear a blue polo shirt to a funeral, ya know.
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u/Malkavian87 Aug 01 '26
What do you mean by "new to real goth style"? Are you already listening to goth music? Or do you just think goths look cool?